How can I get my boyfriend to be ok with my body goal? (Page 2)

Question

Hi everyone!  My boyfriend and I are together since 2013. I started going to the gym as my 2015 new year resolution and I got addicted after I saw how my muscle grew and how hard they become lol I took it more seriously for the past two years and I grew a lot. I talked to my boyfriend and I told him I want to grow bigger and more defined. He wasn't as thrilled as I hoped (he loves muscle on women). I'll post pictures to get a better idea: I am like her in terms of muscle amount and definition And I want to be bigger and more muscular like this girl ore more: How can I convince him, I don't want to lose him neither to stop myself from doing what I like?

9teen · Answer

Pretty sure the majority of guys wouldn't like it since they like feminine features by nature. That is just ugly for a woman and it absolutely looks manly. If that's not what he likes, you can't do anything about it really. He will just lose his interest. I think you should talk with him about this.

NathanStrat · Answer

I would tone it down (pun intended). You dont wanna (trigger warning for trannies) lose any distinguished traits of a female figure and if you get bigger then the pic you will look like a she-hulk. If he likes that he may be a closet homosexual lol... dont be wimpy but dont be bulky either id say.

7p3ue7 · Answer

Sorry but it's just ugly, not only on women but men as well. If you want to be an unatural freak, then date another unatural. Don't expect "normal" physical specimens to appreciate your abnormal bodies. You are not the mental/physical person he fell for, as far as I can tell he is now dating a deformed freak of normality and I don't blame him. Sorry, no prejudice intended.

LamontMMorrison · Answer

To be honest you may need to have a serious talk with him. It soundd like he not comfortable with the whole idea. Its most likely going to be a breakup If you two can not come an understanding. (happens more than you think) if he is fully supportive of you that will not happen.

However encourage him to follow your dream. Show him why you love it. Envolve him in that aspect of your life. Ask him why he doesn't want you to do so. (Best advice). Communicate how body building makes you feel.

SwishSwishBtch · Answer

1. you have to do what makes you feel best, and in a healthy way only! Sounds like you're pushing yourself a little too hard. 2. What someone else finds attractive should not govern your life or decisions. 3. If he is attracted to muscle in the way you have it now, he must feel that being larger would make him feel emasculated, that is his issue not yours but you could try building up his ego, doing some damsel style role play, or situations that make him feel like he's the man and he's taking care of you. Well you're abit ill or tired, get him to help you and comment on how glad you are to have a man like him looking after you, squeeze his muscles and be like you're shoulders look so big it's such a turn on or something that suits you. Or things like" look how tiny my hands /feet/whatever are compared to yours haha "Also you can encourage him to work out and build up too so you two stay in proportion.

MLGbreezy · Answer

Sit down and have a heart to heart really tell him what you want and want to achieve but also express to him how much he really means to you and that you don't wanna lose him maybe he will except you for who you are if he can after all love is transcendent try to see if you too can find a middle ground and if not you will always find someone who will love and appreciate your body and all the hard work you put into it hope i was able to help good luck and don't give up😉

ammdo97 · Answer

Boyfriends come and go but your body is for life. You should take pride in yourself and shape yourself what ever way you want. Look whatever way you want. you shouldn't be out here to impress anyone else. do it for you. if he loves you, he will support that.

Ghost_Woof · Answer

You are in great shape but a guy doesn't want to date/fuck. Women who looks like a man... Women are supposed to be soft and curvey. Now it's perfectly ok to be fit and in shape, even 6 pack abs but definitely not bulky and muscular... Im willing to bet you have fake tits because you have 0% body fat... That's not sexually attractive I'm sorry. Please understand I am not being negative in any way I am just being honest it's too much...

Kaze69x · Answer

Personally the top picture is my limit. You have to prioritize what makes you happiest, your boyfriend or Gainz. If I was him I would of told you follow what you want to do. And then I would of broken up with you because I wouldn't be happy in the relationship.

fireblazex · Answer

I don't think it has anything to do with your body I think he's just less excited about the lifestyle changes, after the point of a relationship is to share your life with someone and maybe he likes muscular women but that doesn't mean he wants to date a gym rat. Working out to look like that is a huge dedication and lifestyle that he may not be excited about and rather y'all spend that time together instead of you being at the gym try to get him into the same lifestyle you're choosing

Leonhart · Answer

It's your body and your body goal (s). If you really want that, you should go for it. Maybe you could try to get him to hit the gym too. If not, ask him and yourself what the most important thing in your relationship is. There is someone who appreciates you, how you look and how hard you work for that

viktor_vaisa · Answer

The type of muscle body in the first picture is OK, nice - and probably the kind of body, that would be found as hot and sexy by 90% of guys, and same number of guys that would find it as the most muscular body for a normal, good looking lady - even proud of having such partner...
NOW - about 2nd picture: shows something else, that won't be liked, understood and found as to be normal for a lady...
That's general opinion.
My personal advice is, if u wanna continue with body building- there's a v nice and hot area where you can put your efforts.
I'll try to find few pictures and names of few female Bulgarian girls that practice it, and go to shows, who train a lot of time, but not just for muscles and mass...

Brewmaster531 · Answer

Tell him if tries to leave you because of your body goals you're going to put him through the coffee table!

Seriously though, just tell him what your goals are and tell him it will make you happy. That's it. Then the ball is in his court. If makes a big fuss about it, tell him off. Your relationship shouldn't end over this, but if he's doing to make a serious issue about this, how important is your happiness to him?

Neverquitblaz1n · Answer

If he really cares about you he would want you to do whatever it is it would make you the happiest and most pleased with your appearance. I understand most guys want a girl that they can pick it up and throw around in the bedroom. Maybe he's starting to feel intimidated by the fact that and you're probably a lot more muscular than you were when he first met you. The main thing that you need to remember and disappearances don't last forever, if he's not willing to let you make a choice to do something to your own body probably not worth staying with. Send it comes to relationships you both have to give 50%. Well you really have to give 100% but in the middle when it comes to things you disagree on. I hope you're able to work out a solution to your problem

SociallyAwkwardTeen · Answer

I say go for it! I admire your strength and would love to have some muscles, I'm pretty much as bone being very skinny.

It might be different for him and take some time getting used to it, but you'v been together for so long that what you look like shouldn't matter if he truly matters. If he can't deal with it, then is he really worth it?

Best of luck :)

inlovewiththesun · Answer

I really admire you for being so strong and working so hard, first being said! I think your boyfriend might not like the idea to somehow feel like the less dominant part, because muscles are always seen like a dominant and male thing. But if your goal are a lot of muslces, just do what you feel most comfortable with and no one should tell you what to do, because its your body and you can do with is whatever you want.

DivideByZero · Answer

So you look like a man with boobs and now you wanna look like a ripped man with boobs? It's your body and your decision, nobody can tell you what to do, just keep in mind that it's a major turnoff for most men.

Pro tip: if you care about him, you two should sit down and talk this through. Most probably he will accept your choice.

TiredMonkey · Answer

Maybe he misses you when you spend hours at the gym?

Maybe he worries about the unhealthy effects of bodybuilding on you?

Maybe he just wants back the girl he fell in love with?

Maybe he feels like he's losing you.

Maybe he would like to go to McDonalds with you? Just joking.

Good luck to you both

lawandfitness · Answer

I would tell him that 99 percent of women can't get that buff without drugs. Women have a much harder time putting on muscle than men.

Also, a lot of those fitness models only look like that during competition. So I would say do what you want to do, but assure him that even if you do reach that level of cut it won't be all the time.

Personally though, as a fitness enthusiasts myself and former trainer i think it's beautiful.

Leafpool2 · Answer

Interesting how most male answers are "give up ur goal because I think muscular women are icky" you go get all the muscles and if your scrub of a boyfriend can't handle it laugh him into the sun with your new strength

SweetT-4UrTHIRST · Answer

As A Past bodybuilder I can say ABSOLUTELY 100% FOR SURE. A Woman I train CAN ONLY GET THAT LOOK WITH ROIDS. You Must lower Estrogen & Get Testerone Cypionate & HGH and Others. I've done this 30 years. So please Tell the whole story. Test cyp & losing estrogen causes hormonal changes in LIBIDO. Not as Easy for a Woman to become aroused or complete the act. This is Science and Hormones. These ate facts not opinion

yungsturg · Answer

Go easy on the definition. Men like woman. So you have to at least look like one. No guy wants to date a girk that looks like a man unless he's gay... But on the upside, Its good your doing something positive with your body. Just dont take it to far. Get in shape but go easy on the muscles

Butthole1234 · Answer

Attraction is a big thing for me in a relationship IF I’m not in love with the person. But you should do what you want with your body, and if he chooses to leave you over it then he might not be as serious about you.

FlightlessPhoenix · Answer

I don't personally find thst much muscles attractive on anyone regardless. I love lifting weights myself but I do it for fun first fitness second. But if your boyfriend actively disagrees with it loose him and find/get someone who supports you and your dreams.

hunterzoloman655 · Answer

When guys are with women they want to feel like the Procter the one that is saving you from bad dreams, etc when some guys see girls muscular like that it chips at there mocho self esteem they might say they like girls like that but guys like to protect his girl not the other way around makes a guy feel weak

chuklezsideshow · Answer

Look, if your guy loves you for real, then he will stand beside you with this body modification endeavor. Encouraging, pushing you ever harder to reach your ultimate goal. To appear the way you feel inside. If you see yourself as a certain person then that's who you should be. And honestly if your dude doesn't make you wanna be who you wanna be, and support you. Then well, I think there is someone somewhere around you that will appreciate you. And challenge you to fight harder and harder for what you want.

DrJo3 · Answer

Personally I'd be down for the top girl. The 2nd girl's upper body seems a bit too big for me personally. Also are you taking any gear? I feel like it's gonna be tough for you to get as big as the 2nd girl with out.

As for your boyfriend, I mean if he's not ok with it, you can always find a boyfriend who is lol but it sounds like he's already cool with it

LohrvsData · Answer

I've got mixed feelings about being with a woman like that. On one hand, it would be kinda cool to have a girlfriend that knows how to take care of herself, but on the other, I think I'd feel really humiliated if my neighbors saw my girlfriend carrying ME over the threshold after we got married, LMAO!! That's male psychology for you. It can be a bitch at times.

MlleCake · Answer

Ultimately, if he can't see how he could love you with whatever body type you have, that's aproblem.

I am personally not interested in gym rats - they are kind of boring to me. But that's not because they are shittier or ugy people. Just not my style.

sizzlewizzle · Answer

Personally i very much prefer 1st photo than the 2nd 👌
As matter of fact, partnership n relationships requires more of a "Co-existence" approach rather than those perfectionism fairytale taboo's. Actually it ant possible 4 an adult person 2 change his/her interests, lifeStyle... etc for any reason; and if he/she claims that, can tell with a high lvl of certainty is pretension. So let each other be as long as doesn't affects others significant life values or very fundamental common interests.
☝️♥️

dudism · Answer

Do what ever makes you happy! Every relationship needs attraction, heart and emotion. There have to be sacrifices on both sides of a good relationship. Yoir boyfriend may not want younto do this because he doesn't want to loose his attraction for you, doesn't neccasarilly mean he is not willing to support you. Its a tricky one. I would first keep trying to convince him, get him involved. If that doesn't work you have to think about what you want more, you both may have to sacrifice something, an eye for an eye, when i love someone im always more than willing to sacrifice something i want or love for her and a good relationship is when that is recognised and the same attitude is given back. Best of luck what ever you do. x

beast_driftmaniac · Answer

I love what you're doing, in terms of muscle building, as I'm a gym freak myself. Some men like muscular women, some don't. You can't judge a person by that, but just don't change yourself for another person. True love, or a true relationship is when a person accepts you for how and who you are. So yeah, I'd say, go on with that muscle building. Stay hungry, stay sexy!

Lyssa1226 · Answer

Honestly just you do you and if he's not okay with it he's clearly not worth your time and doesn't love you enough to support you in your decisions. It seems to me like he's starting to feel less and less like the man of the relationship and is maybe threatened by it but he's just gotta push his ego aside and love his gotdamn woman

A5KM3 · Answer

Sometimes, people have to sacrifice what they like for who they love but save this as the last option. when a woman builds muscles, she loses some of her feminine parts that a man loves that's probably why he's not into it. You need to either talk to him about how much muscle you can build or get him into body building (if he's not already) maybe it will help.

freshmango · Answer

The answer is simple, either you pursue ur dream or compromise it for his liking. you can't make him like the goal you want to achieve, but if he truly loves you he will support you. if he doesn't then give it some time. if he never accepts it then you need to make a decision.

probablythebest · Answer

Wow! this is perfect. I'm an executive producer involved with several studios. I'm developing a reality show called Hoarders Muscle Edition. PM me so we can talk. I have qualified staff that can help you sort out your possibly inaccurate perceptions of your body and healthy life balance.

(Not a real producer. Just trying to make a hopefully insightful joke.)

Ultimately we are after what can be called inner peace. Typically extreme bodybuilding isn't required to balance the core self. I wish you love, clarity, and joy.

JB1992 · Answer

first pictue is great second no, too manly for most guys.
however you should do what's right for you, if the boyfriend can't handle it, it's his problem, but if you lose him it's also your problem, because he fell for you whatever you looked like at the start if your physique changes, he may lose or increase attraction but either way he has a right to walk away in this instant.

Wraithguy · Answer

Personally i dont see an issue with it. Your going to have to find someone thats also into working out. Everyone else thinks it's disgusting, dont pay attention to them. Keep focusing on yourself. If he is still there cool if not, your better off without

Dom94 · Answer

It shouldn't matter what u look if he loves you he should respect you as trust me I've recently judt lost my best friend my one true love of 5 years becuase she wanted different thibgs end i didn't and its destriyed me to be hibest with you if you to love each other hell ubderrstand if not as harsh as it is you can do better hun x im not bring a dick about it... im just sayibg i lost my one love over sonethn silly and she's now working a a rep in ibiza havibg the time of her life and living her life me cause i said what she wanted was stupid i miss her everyday and every night dont let your partner stop you being you cause you will be happier following you xxx

Isopsis · Answer

It's good to see that you are serious about taking good care of your body... That is really sexy to most guys... I think the woman in the second picture though has over done it. Personally I don't think that amount of muscle is healthy for women OR men. Be cautious with how you move forward. Make sure you maintain a healthy BMI and a healthy muscle to weight ratio. Encourage your boyfriend to go to the gym with you... but for your own sake, as well as for his... don't overdo it.

rucrazy2 · Answer

its more you convincing yourself.1 you already know the time and dedication it going to take a way from your relationship. yoi already said you dont want to lose him but you only said he wasn't thrilled about it not thay its a deal breaker. it you that your worried about un this cause of the fact you not going to be 100 percent in to your relationship while trying to get to your goal and your scared that he will walk away cause he won't be the focal point to you it will be training. your attempting to down plau thsy with you going all in that if you do break up its goinh to be your fault why and you eont be able to handle that so your putting on him and its you. and if im wrong please say so you might want to rethink your decision is your goal to be as fit as you can more important yjan yoi and your boyfriend relationship and you can attain what you want with out going balls to the wall it just takes longer and you want results now but ot might cost you your boyfriend too.

DeterMind · Answer

Well you can either go after your goal and dump him for it, or you could ask him what he wants and stay with him and do what he wants. Couples need to make compromises sometimes, and maybe he was fine with you getting some muscle but isn't ok with you getting that much. We don't know too much about what is going on, but that is my best advice.

MuhammadNady · Answer

Well , I see his point of view.. and in order to convince someone , you have to see things from his point of view.. he thinks you're gonna be too muscular and honestly I think he's right.. so I order for this to go on , you'll have to get on a middle ground.. which is -I think- try to keep fit as much as possible but adjust your workout in order not to get more muscular.. also consider training together that'd make it better if he's the sharing type.. good luck !

Mimibabyy · Answer

Being muscular doesn’t make you manly? You’re obviously female and you’re body naturally gets like that from exercise and healthy eating, just wanted to debunk everyone who says otherwise. Your boyfriend should understand your happiness, and if he doesn’t want you to do what makes you happy, then he may not be the one. Don’t every change yourself for anyone else. Especially not a man, because there’s many more out there who would be more than willing to take his place!

piriripororo · Answer

If he really loves you he'll manage, after all you've been through a lot in all those years. And if that's what you really want to do, go for it. Who knows what can happen?

Aesthetics can be very important to help you find what you are as a person. If he calls it a reason to break up, you'll eventually find someone who supports it, only a matter of time.

chris1965 · Answer

Ultimately your body your choice.

I would like you to do two things for you. My grandfathers always said to me do what ever in moderation. Where are you with that? Also go to an open minded doctor and ask what the risk of getting the body you want.

Good luck with the boyfriend and your goal.

Nyzal · Answer

Lol well this stirred up a bit of a buzz.
If you want to be a better you, go for it, if you limit yourself for someone you won't truly be happy. There isn't a way to make him be ok with other than just pursuing your goal, being happy about it and sharing your happiness with him. Once you get him supporting you it'll be fine. So just make sure you include him in your journey.

justjoshky · Answer

While it's your body you have the right to make decisions with it I can see his vantage point. So ultimately see if there's way you guys can compromise if not urine after the side do you become bigger or do you put yourself back on the market. Sorry to say that though

Randolph31 · Answer

Seriously if you look like the first girl you should stay there. He may like muscles on women but if his woman is way more defined than he is he may feel like you're more masculine than he is. Talk to him for real and ask how he feels if you want to stay together. Find out what's really important.

narendra4u · Answer

Honestly, the first picture is great but the second one will turn off many and no wonder your boyfriend. From biological point of view women can't go over a certain limit of muscle mass without steroids. Don't take them for just the sake of muscle growth. Being in the natural limit is best and whatever comes from your regular exercise.

Ev1lMindedSoul · Answer

It's your body, it's your choice. You may end up having to sacrifice your relationship but if he won't support you fully then you may have to split.
All I will suggest is not to use hormones or steroids as the long lasting effects could hurt you down the line.

Anonymous · Answer

even if hedoes not care prrobabaly let him repsect you who your body parts are i mena liek mnay of my ex girlferiends would ask those questions osmtimes meock me in schoool over colege but iwould jsut say nthoingat all ists twhinside ath counts if he ahhs probelsm than its his age tha made hi abetter man grewoing up wuoeld amtter if he likes otasct if disprescts you than he is crewing up alto just let him says oehting if not let him looka tyour body parts nothat everything maybe he is not sure about your body just kee foaut foryourslef if you can doinahting in teh owrd maybe he w

kaskas19 · Answer

Those women are not completely natural, unless genetics. But if you don't have those genes, you'll have to resort to injections etc.  Most men and women do not find the body attractive.

Kolipse · Answer

First thing, respect, you really must have worked hard. Second thing, I understand your boyfriend. I personally don't like muscles on women (even your body is too much on me) and I think that majority of men don't. Pics you posted seem like extreme. It has become an addiction and that's not good. You should have your workout, you should definitely keep your body in shape, but slow down, don't go into extreme

MarcelHxC · Answer

Don't be a peice of shit and try to convince him.
If he doesn't like that's his opinion and that's ok.
If he loves you and can deal with your hobby or whatever you wanna call it then that's his choice. If he decides to leave because it makes him uncomfortable that's his choice to.
People change and some relationships fall through due to this. It's time to have a serious talk and see what's the best option

deanlarouche · Answer

Well I personally don't like a women who looks like a man (other them friendship) however if your boyfriend lives you then he will accept you as you are. I wouldn't know this but maybe the love making might even be better for him.. But I don't think he should judge you on appearance. Don't even try to convince him to be ok with it.. just do what makes you happy and he will just be happy for you if he truly loves you

lovelyhoneybones · Answer

I mean, I wouldn't want my girlfriend looking like a man either.

skytatoe · Answer

well you can't 'make' people like shit. Attraction is what it is its not something you have control over. Doesn't mean he won't love you and all that but he may not find you as physically appealing, and its not sth he can control (as far as I know)...

wave_rider · Answer

You might not get both, and there's little you can do to affect his desires. If he isn't into it, nothing you say could change that, and forcing it would be bad for both of you.

At the end of the day, you need to decide what you want more: him or your physical form, and be prepared to make that choice if and when the time comes

Ellaki · Answer

It's too extreme. I really don't think any guy quite likes that much of muscle, although there are some exceptions. If he doesn't support you, he is not for you. But don't expect him to be crazy for you either, muscular women are not most guys taste

How can I get my boyfriend to be ok with my body goal? (Page 2)

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