How could I get my boyfriend to stop complaining about my body?

Question

I love my boyfriend (of 4 years) but recently he’s been really annoying about my weight. He is constantly pestering me about it. I can’t relax for a second without him saying I should exercise more, I can’t eat anything without him saying I should eat less. And look, I am not a stick but I’m definitely not fat, and eating an extra burger isn’t going to change that. So how can I get him to stop?

Massageman · Accepted Answer

He's probably not going to stop no matter WHAT you do. That isn't the most critical point, in my opinion. You being healthy- mentally, physically and spiritually- should be at the top of your priority list. He may have a psychological need to "run things" : he may have "control issues". I have no way of knowing. My wife is the psychologist: she handles clients' minds, and I massage their bodies.

His comments show he may be confused about overweight vs. out-of-shape. Someone could be spot-on with weight for their height, yet be out of shape. If most body builders were evaluated on weight vs "ideal weight", they would be rated as heavy, yet if handled correctly, they would have very few problems because of it. I'm a few pounds more than I should be, yet over all, I'm in good health. I have my aches, my ankles are shot, a couple of other genetic things, but overall, I'm doing more things and doing them faster and easier than a lot of others in my peer group. But back to you- - -

It's easy to add and subtract a few things in your daily life to drop a few pounds and tone up a bit, if you feel you need to. Park a few slots further from the store doors so that you have to walk a bit more. Only have two cookies for dessert instead of three. Do five minutes of stretching in your yard or on your deck as you start your day. Get a dog and walk him/her. Instead of sitting when visiting a friend, chat while you talk a walk in a park. Maybe just have that burger with toppings, and hold the bun. Possibly go on an "exercise date": play golf, visit a baseball range, play frisbee golf, go swimming, or just take a hike in a forest. Then see how committed he is at THAT point!

You are responsible for your life: your friend is not. The only 100% sure-fire way for him to stop complaining to YOU about your body is to quit seeing him. Good luck.

D_Bone_Steak · Accepted Answer

You'll have to stop being fat. He was probably paranoid about it and has been around you long enough to see progression in the direction he was paranoid you could go in.

He's probably right and you probably don't want to hear that. Humans seek pleasure and avoid pain... and putting that cheeseburger down is obviously painful for you.

If you get physically active you'll lose weight and you won't be as hungry or so bored you just got to eat something. You gotta stop thinking he's unjustified in his thinking though. Most men don't even speak up even though it bothers them and yet he is speaking up... so it has to be noticeable. I don't want to read the "other comments" but I'll bet my left nut a bunch of them are simping out to you about how bad he is or "you a strong independent woman and don't need no man" type of shit... you going to listen to them? I'm just saying I know what you probably want to hear and can figure out what you need to do, in order to solve the problem. That's what makes me different from the "you go girl" guys and the "yaz queen" girls. So listen to me... go do something that is physically active with your free time and you'll see a bunch of changes.

Also, understand we live in a world where the literal bulk of our population are medically obese. Most of the people here texting back to you are fat fucks and highly undesirable sexually. Of course they'll pat you on the back and put that cheeseburger back in your hand and tell you, that you need to sit down and relax instead of play Frisbee or whatever. Only stupid skinny people I'd totally fuck do that kind of shit... watch that T. V. and play with your phone, because it feels good.

Anyways this has been D_Bone_Steak... I'm fucking the fuck out.

BlackBeauty90 · Accepted Answer

I have a friend who had a boyfriend - well loser - like this. He complained about everything (weight, hair, clothing) & never appreciated anything she did for him even when very much going out of her way. To say she was miserable with him - for the very short time they were involved (2 months) - is the understatement of the century.

Because people like that loser & your boyfriend are emotionally abusive. If your boyfriend was actually a decent / respectable guy he'd suggest you two start going to a gym or walks or swimming. A mutual activity where you can lose whatever weight.

And like all bullies, the loser & your boyfriend won't like having the emotional abuse turned on them.

When my friend pointed out the loser bringing up other women as he had been doing to her was like her calling him fat & having a small dick... though he denied it bothered him, it was obvious that comment bothered him by how his speech pattern changed.

Jooying · Accepted Answer

A relationship is for both guy and girl seeing thing with a common understanding, also include body type. There is no right or wrong being fat or thin. But once he started complaining about the weight, your figure, then it’s your choice to either work on it or find someone else who has the same agreement with you.
You are telling us he keeps saying you need to eat less and exercise more but you were not fat. Tell us about it, your height and weight so we can all give you our opinions, maybe he’s worrying about your health, maybe for the past four years he’s seeing you gaining too much weight.
If you gonna post here and ask for our opinions, be specific.

Pinay_ako · Answer

This is abuse. You stop this from leaving. Only you can stop ✋ this toxic relationship from getting worse. Love yourself to walk away. This isn’t love. This is control!

Whatthefluff · Answer

Jesus  Jumping on what everyone else has already said.  You don't deserve that.  That's not love. The only one who really needs to change is him and his attitude. What a loser

Apple1996 · Answer

I'd tell him to fuck off. Shaming a woman for her body is just gonna make things worse

RangerBlue22 · Answer

How old is he? He doesn’t understand the right way to motivate women. What he should be do is leading by example: eating healthy regardless if you are around him or not. He should be asking you to come with him to the gym. He should encourage you to join a sport or structured exercise activity.

But I know damn well flat out telling a woman she needs to lose weight is never a good idea. It will just depress her and make her do nothing. The hard truth might motivate men but women have a harder time accepting it. But men shouldn’t lie either but give constructive methods to improve.

That’s what I did with my last girlfriend. I encouraged her to start working out with me. I then got her to exercise 6 days a week. It took about 4 months but she actually lost 8lbs of fat and looked better (she was skinny fat).

thomual · Answer

My girlfriend and I are both slightly overweight, but not obese. We speak plainly and openly with eachother about our health. Neither can judge the other because we have the same exact struggle, and we both want to get better. What I say to her also counts for me.

We are equals. If he is out of your league then you should want to be his equal physically, or be with someone who is. You cannot expect to have what you yourself are not willing to offer.

If you showed him that you cared and were concerned about it, he wouldn't feel the need to push you. If you dont care, he deserves better, and you should date a chubbier (average weight) guy. Maybe even help him get in shape.

Fireguy17 · Answer

The best way would be to get a new boyfriend.

It really sounds like he can not accept you for who you are.

The more he brings up the subject the harder it makes it for you.

It is quite possible that based on your physical make up you are at a perfect weight.

In his mind he wants someone else, a perfect size whatever.

What he might not understand that it may be healthy for you to be at that weight that he desires.

You need to find someone that can accept you for who you are.

He needs to move on to find someone who is his ideal weight, but who's to say he will like her personality, or she might think his unit is too small and be on him to make it larger.

He should be happy that he found someone like you.

Emiliamazing · Answer

I think we all struggle with managing our weight at some point in our lives, and it would seem that your boyfriend is struggling to find a way to communicate his desire for you to live a healthy lifestyle. I'd like to think that you wouldn't bewith him for over four years if he was just a shaming asshole.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

If you are overwieght:
1. Eat healthier, exercise more.
2. Dump him and stay fat, get sicker, only date other fat people.

If you are a healthy weight
1. Dump him for wanting an anorexic sized person.
2. Explain to him that you are a healthy weight already.

rtj1211 · Answer

Three options:

1. Appeal to his decency - 'Do you have any idea how much you are annoying me by constantly nitpicking about my weight?'

2. Give him a dose of his own medicine - be it about his sexual performance, about some personal habit or about his beliefs.

3. Find a new boyfriend.

JamesDiaz11 · Answer

You get him to stop by exercising more- if you're actually putting in the effort instead of expecting him to stop just because its the nice thing to do. The fact that he's pestering you is a good thing; if he wasn't (as he's clearly unhappy with your body at present) he'd probably be cheating on you, or about to leave you.

BlueScorpio · Answer

Tell him how it makes you feel, if he's the health nut type then tell him he might be better suited for someone else. I get wanting to be healthy, but if it's gotten to a point where he's nagging you about your weight, then you need to tell him to stop or part ways. The thing about weight loss is that it's not easy for everyone and can be challenging, if someone isn't ready or trying to loose weight, then nagging won't help or encourage them.

melanieeeB · Answer

I would tell him to shut the fuck up. As long as you're happy and not obese, it's all okay and fine! And it's awful that he is coming with this shit all the time, what does he expect? That you starve yourself? For what?
I would definitely tell him to shut up, have a conversation about how much it annoys you and why he is saying that and if he can't stop, tell him to leave and get a stick like girlfriend then, if that's oh so important to him

Randy888 · Answer

the audacity of him, If you are eating very unhealthy that is understandable for him to be concerned, But if you just eat normally and he is wanting you to stay thin and pretty then he is being an ass, Say he should go to the gym and put on some muscle or something,

stratford · Answer

Unless there is a medical reason and he is worried about your health, it sounds like he isn't the sort of guy you should be with.

As far as I am concerned, the fact that he has actually told you these things means that he has already cross a line that has damaged trust. He might be trying to make you feel insecure, and that can lead to very controlling behaviour.

I suggest you explain your feelings and move on.

Hope that helps and happy to chat more if I can support you.

MRME6 · Answer

I sort of understand your boyfriends perspective, my dad has diabetes and it's almost inevitable that I get it. My family has got a lot of health problems, I try my best to eat healthy. When I can.
I weigh 80 kg and my height is 183cm. I'm not fat by any means but that doesn't mean I can't get the underlying conditions my family inherited. He probably struggles communicating it. I used to be like thar with my ex girlfriend cos I wanted to give our future children the best chance at life.

findacure4wokeness · Answer

Loose weight for your own health and self esteem for sure. But he sounds like he might be emotionally abusive. I've have girl friends that were nasty like that and I give it back to them as I dumped them. Simps make princesses like that, I just thought that had to be said.

EaterPeter · Answer

That is one big problem us guy have with our woman. They becomes double the woman we fall in love with. Too much for us to handle manage. It is difficult as it is for us to tolerate woman. Now intensity had doubled. Can you imagine. I believe that is the problem most people in relationship faces. They have no way to encourage their partner. They been shown door 🚪 every so often when they leave they are still considered as a bad person.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know, have tried like, you know, talking with him about it? Telling him it irritates you if he reminds you about it so often?
Communication is the only way to solve problems and he is trying to communicate something (thought for you in anoying and insensitive way), so why don't you try to communicate with him your feelings? If you are satisfied with your new body and just need that extra burger, tell him that.

Shamalien · Answer

Women are fucked on this point. I get that y'all are sensitive, but come on. If you’re getting fat, stop shovelling down burgers.

bring on the haters! Your boyfriend wants you healthy! Is that such a bad thing? Do you hate your parents for making you eat your green vegetables? Why do women insist on being with someone who doesn’t give a fuck about them and just blows smoke up their ass?

carlgpfeifer · Answer

I notice that is very upsetting to you best way to avoid your boy friend is don. t pay attn to him if. he is just being bad to you just walk away from him and don. t respond him it's your choice it's your body love is all stronger in the world now I feel same way like you do don. t feel bad about your self

YourNightOwl · Answer

You’re on a tough spot. He should love you as you are, but with guys, especially immature or self- centered ones, their eyes and then their hearts can roam. Try to lose a bit if you can, but do it for your own ego, not his. I feel for you. Everyday this is probably on your mind. Tell him to lay off and It’s making you stressed and unhappy.

misfittoy · Answer

things will only get worse from here please do not put up with that. he is trying to control you by things he says to you. i would try to talk to him if he doesn't change, as hard as it is move on.

AddylynnNightingale · Answer

My mind shouted BREAK UP but were you like that before you met? That's the only justification I can see from his side, but even then it's fucked up. Where is his sixpack, his toned muscles?

In all honesty I would end things.

RavVid · Answer

Obviously your weight is bothering him. If it is bothering him you can push that underground but it will still be there.
I am not going to comment further on whether that should bother you or whether an extra burger will have an impact.

Stevepro68 · Answer

That is a issue of compassion and caring. He is not good for you if he feels he can criticize you regularly about such a sensitive and personal issue as woman. Sorry not a good sign.

Sour-rose · Answer

Easy way: fk him.  Hard way: See what he sees as fat.  Honestly, some mofo complain about how I have my body after I work it as if it's my last, I'd drop them

Kori1236 · Answer

Throw the whole dude away that is a boy and you want a man. If you want to exercise more you do it for you, not because some man child thinks that you should. He’s not worth your time.

Sorrento-Sun · Answer

Tell him how it's making you feel and to stop. If he doesn't respect your boundaries then all you can do is either walk away from the relationship, or 'shut up and put up'

dustybiker · Answer

Stop calling him your boyfriend. Find someone healthier. He has problems of his own to sort out.

ANDYB88 · Answer

Seriously he just sounds rude - you’ll never be fully secure with this man. I don’t even know what he thinks he’s going to achieve with these kind of demeaning and unnecessary comments. Better men are out there.

JPresidente · Answer

Start picking on him about his body. Tell him his nose hairs stick out, he's too hairy, he has no ass etc etc.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Time to find a new boyfriend, no man should be complaining about his girlfriend's body don't he know that can drive a girl to no end and cause her to develop eating disorders?

TT1227 · Answer

You get him to stop by dumping his ass and not settling for less!! You’ll find someone that loves you for who you are and won’t critique your every move.

HaveNoName · Answer

Even though he may be saying this with a good intention, you need to have a word. Ask him when you are not eating; ask him if he can stop annoying you with the same demand. If he cannot, part ways. He will do this forever.

rachel776 · Answer

get another boyfriend is truly the best answer to this

Googlemyahoo · Answer

Its very simple process. When he brings up your weight you say go get your shit and go fuck yourself & find someone else. If not STFU and don’t bother me again.  Solved

LimitedBenefits101 · Answer

Good boyfriend that cares about his girlfriend health, he knows you are lazy, hopefully if you dont change he dumps you and finds a girl that take cares of her body.

nickaboy · Answer

Are you father then when you got together?  Get back to the shape you sold him. Are you not fatter then when you got together? Dump him

BJP21 · Answer

What size shoe do your wear? It's going up his ass. Thats mental and emotional abuse.

BarryLiverstone · Answer

If you are not overweight then it’s cray he says all that. When you met him did you weigh the same?

slatyb · Answer

There's an easy solution -- dump him and date someone nice.

CountryWanderer · Answer

You don't get him to stop. You dump him for somebody better.

Jamesshinobi · Answer

you could eat less calories, exercise more or be less disgusting.

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

A picture could have been helpful , to understand if he is rightfully concerned or just babbling

CasuallySamsonite · Answer

Tell him to shut his fat face... Hahaha. I bet he's no Olympian himself is he? Lol.

bowenw · Answer

Tell him it's time for him to find a new girlfriend.

VV3ZZY · Answer

Maybe it's time to break up. Focus on yourself for a few. he obviously doesn't care about your feelings

soe11 · Answer

Leave him as soon as possible, he is not worth it. Get on life and be free yourself.

TroyDT · Answer

Dump him. Pretty clear that your health and well-being are not his focus in this.

Hardworkingguy · Answer

Probably talk to him about it or get a new boyfriend

noohair · Answer

This is not going to change. It is the way he is. And he does not respect you, your heart. Move on.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

He's worried about you ballooning up like so many women do.

SmokinAces2000 · Answer

I would suggest just breaking up with him, he sounds like an asshoke

Twalli · Answer

Maybe come up with an exercise or workout plan with him.

easyPZ · Answer

dump him... This is a sign that he will never stop complaining.

Anonymous · Answer

tell him to go fuck himself. if he can't accept you for who you are then drop the loser drop the sack of shit.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe just stop eating so much, probably you look horrible.

mr4435669 · Answer

Eat less, I don't like fat either.

PinkRose24 · Answer

By dumping him

MiamiMadness · Answer

Ask him to grow a few inches?

How could I get my boyfriend to stop complaining about my body?

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