i don’t like who i am anymore. i’m so unhappy, i’m becoming mean and I don't know who i am anymore. i can’t talk on the phone with my boyfriend, i give the most horrific attitude towards him and i hate it. i think i give attitude towards him bc i’m unhappy plus we don’t do anything together anymore. we don’t go out, we don’t go out on dates, NOTHING. all we do is hangout at his house and we don’t do anything. we barely talk, nothing. i hate that we don’t do anything. he hangs out with his friends more than he does with me. i would call him to ask if he wants to hangout and he’ll tell me in a little because he is with his friends. hey he’ll call me when he wants to, to hangout. i don’t know what to do. so i think my issue is that i stay at home all the time and i wait for him to call to see if he wants to hangout so i barely go out. i barely see my friends, i barely do anything. i don’t work, im in school full time so im at home all week. i know that’s my fault and i wish things were different. we both are unhappy. i have four best friends, three of them don’t live in the same town as me, the one friend that is, is single and always puts me in the most uncomfortable situations. she asked me to go to the beach with five other guys and i’m like uhhh no that’s not okay. and she got upset that i didn’t go. anyway, I don't know what to do. i know i can stop complaining and what not, but I don't know just the fact that we don’t do anything makes me not want to even talk to him. i don’t want to break up with him bc i know the potential we have with each other is great. i know we can do so much more bc we have done it. i don’t have money for a therapist so i can’t see one, but i do want to. anyway, i don’t know what to do and i’m so unhappy and sad about it.
What can I do to become happy with myself?
