Why does he want to share me?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I are not married. But we have been together for two years.

He used to be in poly relationships but now, we are monogamous.

He has been mentioning a lot lately about a friend of his having a crush on me and how he wouldn't mind having us sleep together.

First, I don't really know the man. Second, my fear is that one day, he will come to me wanting to sleep with another woman and tell me it is unfair if I get to do it too.

I have already been in an open and poly relationship. But he keeps arguing that it wasn't done right. Either way, I tried it and I was not secure at all being in that kind of dynamic

I don't know what to do other than talk to him. I know he loves me. But at the same time, despite our time together, I still have a fear that he will leave me for some other woman. And I don't know how to communicate that to him.

[ElenoraM]

Honestly that’s not love to me. When someone loves u they keep u they cherish u and don’t share their partner with others. On top his friend sounds like a jerk. If he made u sleep with his friend what do u think he will do? Obviously go sleep with other women or already has. Relationships like that don’t have a future. I’m sorry but it’s true. It’s u who will deal with this and I see it doesn’t make u happy. So u gotta think hard love.

[samhradh_leannan]

Polyamory is not for everyone. You had ever right to say no, and he needs to respect your answer. If he’s not happy in a monogamous relationship then perhaps you two are not a good match.

[Asker]

I am not sure what is going on. He says he is happy with me. But ever since he has been working with Poly people, he keeps bringing it up all of a sudden.

[samhradh_leannan]

Either it’s just on his mind so he’s talking about it, or maybe he has realized he misses it. You will only know if you ask him.

[samhradh_leannan]

And if he disregards your concerns as being your own personal issues, he is just not a compassionate, emotionally mature person.

[333Advisor]

Well hun, as per I see you seem to get on with him. But hun, may I ask you, do you have a mixed heritage? Like maybe Native American or probably Asian heritage?

[Asker]

No, just your general Hispanic.

[333Advisor]

Oh okay, hun. I think that's pretty close.
At any which rate hun he shared you with that other friend for a reason. So my suggestion to you, is to become friends with that other friend in the meantime; in other words , if your boyfriend acts up and you don't understand why he's acting the way he is, or you feel insecure, then go to that other friend he has introduced to you; as I said he is there in between your relationships to serve as a buffer or amp. Simple advice and I'm hoping to continue to use my gifts to help you all, because I understand how rejection can really set you on a path of uncertainty. In Jesus Christ

[333Advisor]

By the way, must I add that Jesus Christ gave me this gift to share with you all.

[Asker]

Whoa! No sharing right now. I just noticed my guy is getting all excited because a friend of his might have a crush on me. Also, personally I would be hesitant on even going through with another factor, his girlfriend is a backstabbing sheep. I will be nice to her, but I know messing with any of her men is a bad idea.

[Bear41]

Personally I do not get guys who want another guy to fuck their woman. Sorry if he does here way better than he was doing you could kiss her good bye specially if he hits all her spots right on. Puts her over the edge and keeps her there for a hour or two. And worse yet most of those guys want to watch. Sorry no audiences.

[timbo2]

Tell your fears and how you feel do not hold anything back. Open relationships can be amazing but most end in disaster. It takes very specific type of people to make that work.

[Asker]

A while ago, I was the third party in an open relationship. The woman didn't like me and in the end, I had to stop talking to the man. It was too much.

With my ex, who was poly, every time I was honest with him about it, he would disregard it as my own personal demons. That isn't something I am thrilled to hear. I am afraid it will be the same case with my boyfriend.

[timbo2]

Well you still need to talk to him about it and if he answers with the whole your inner demons crap then you have your answer. it is just about him filling those desires. Your relationship has to be top notch in the communication area for it to be any good. You can't do things he's uncomfortable with and he can't do things you're uncomfortable with. If its something you want to try or give him the one shot then do it but let it be known it just to test the waters and stop if it doesn't feel right. In a proper open relationship neither person is going to disregard the other feelings you just can't.

[funis4fun]

Sharing is different then Poly relationships, open relationships, cuckolding, and the like.
Sharing is often just a threesome. And, believe it, or not, large numbers of women enjoy it and another large number of them believe they would enjoy it.
Not to be too sexual, but it is. Maybe in the bedroom some toys got involved somewhere and the boyfriend already knows she enjoys double-penetration and therefor concludes two men are better then one and he is actually doing it for her pleasure.
There is also the scenario where he may be closest bi-curious and the closest way to sex with another man in the same bed is with his female partner.
And then there is the fact that some people are just plain kinky.
So without knowing the exact situation and the true details, it is impossible to provide an accurate diagnosis.
I shared a girlfriend once, but you could also call it a threesome. My girlfriend took on 2 guys, me being one of them. We were all drunk, it was a bit fun seeing her act out 'slutty' one time, she enjoyed the feeling of double penetration, and my friend simply got lucky. The End

[da_sushi_plug]

At the end of the day , it's entirely up to you whether or not you want to be in an exclusive relationship. He decided to be with you, so he has to accept how you feel about it and not try to pressure you into doing something with your relationship that makes you insecure or uncomfortable. I won't lie, there is the chance he may leave, but if he truly loves you he will value and respect your feelings on what you are and aren't okay with.

[nextdoorguy]

I do like sharing as long as she will stay with me. Her having sex with someone I trust with no feelings involve is a huge turn on for me.

[Asker]

Do you feel like you have every right to sleep with another woman if she does do so?

[nextdoorguy]

Only if she is comfortable and allow me. I do not have every right at all. Also in relationship both partner must agree with each other and be comfortable.

[nextdoorguy]

Ask him if he want to have sex with another woman. If he said yes then you know he will want something in return.

[Asker]

Yeah, I guess that is what I am afraid of. So I have kind of been brushing it off. I know just because you want to have sex with someone, doesn't always mean you want something more. But I guess I am afraid of the possibility as well. I know, if we do follow through, I am going to be hurt if he is in honeymoon phase with another woman. And they do the whole cute text thing, and of course she will be perfect because he doesn't live with her and doesn't see her flaws like he sees mine.

[nextdoorguy]

That is a huge risk. Yes it will be likely for him to fall for her. I can't judge here but taking from the way you are saying it might not worth the risk. That is why I mention her having sex with someone I trust and knowing there is no emotional involve. So it is just purely lust and fun. Then it is good if both partner feel that way.

Another thing you can do if it makes you feel better. Try couple swapping if both are comfortable then both partner can keep an eye on each other if the flirting continue. Works better I think.

[boggboss]

Explain u don't wanna be a open relationship simple

[Asker]

I feel like I already have. Since he has been hanging with this guy, he is suddenly telling me the guy has a crush on me and wants to sleep with me. It's weird.

[sc15022]

I personally think he's stupid to want to cuck himself like that, and if it's against your own wishes, just tell him you're not into it. If he doesn't respect that, then move on.