Boyfriend hasn't called and is ignoring me - should I break up with him?

[Anonymous]

so my boyfriend of 3 years has been ignoring me for the past week and a half he hasn't called text or anything I waited it out and gave him his space but today I put my pride aside and decided to go out my way and text him and I told him I loved him and that I was worried to please call. so he calls and then I asked him what's going on and he tells me that he is sorry but he cannot talk to me and I asked him why is he acting like that and then he told me he will call when he can talk about it..so I decided to call back again and I told him that he cannot expect for me to just wait around for when he calls because I will not wait around forever that I gave him enough time and space to please talk to me and he said he will call me Thursday

he has done this before that whenever he got mad about something or we had a big argument he would take some days to clear his mind but he would tell me he needs time he wouldn't just stop talking to me out of nowhere and not tell me what the problem was

idk what's going on I know it is not cheating because if my boyfriend didn't want to be with me he would have told me right then and there ...but I haven't done anything to get him upset this was out of the blue the only reason I could think was maybe he got mad I didn't go to a party with him but I don't think it was serious enough for him not to talk to me

idk what to do when we finally do talk ?

is this acceptable ?

I feel so shut out and sad that he is ignoring me and I don't know why...i don't want to break up with him and regret it later on but I don't want this to continue either what should I do? please help

i want him to respect me and not take advantage of my love for him..

is it possible for me to get him to change this without breaking up with him?

and if I don't break up with him will I look stupid?

[dreamtime]

To me it seems like he's just busy and couldn't talk with you when he called.(which he did as you where worried)

tho I wouldn't say its acceptable to ignore your girlfriend for a week and a half, he should've at least texted or called every now and then during lunchbreak or whatever.

I don't think there's a lot you can do except for wait on him, you could wait at his appartment or something to talk face to face as you are upset and you have the right for answers if he is taking too long.

[Stricken]

Is this behavior frequent? When did it start? How long do these periods last?

[Asker]

He started this after 8 months of going out.....and he would do it every couple of months......and he would do it for no longer than a week....but he does this with everyone around him even his family memebers when he's upset he would shut them out

[Stricken]

He definitely likes you if he keeps you around after these periods. But that seems beside the point. He is an emotionally fragile person, and you shouldn't have to deal with that. Do you really want to love someone who can't love himself?

[Asker]

Its just that we been together for 3 years its hard for me to just let him go and he does come through for me when I really need him and he is a very loyal boyfriend this is the only bad thing about him is his temper and how he deals with issues

[Stricken]

It took you 3 years to get fed up with his behavior? You made the mistake of being too forgiving of his anger pattern. Had you gotten fed up sooner, it wouldn't feel like such a big investment. I don't know and couldn't understand how this guy makes you feel when he isn't on one of his tantrums. You need to make sure that he knows his behavior isn't acceptable. Dealing with things the way he does after 3 years isn't good. You deserve someone who has his own life together.

[Asker]

Yea I agree his behavior is inacceptable but how can I give him a wake up call without breaking up with him ? because I don't want to break up with him and then regret it later on

[Stricken]

It sounds like you have already expressed that this behavior is unacceptable, yet stay with him even though he does it. He thinks that no matter how bad messes up, you won't be going anywhere. He thinks he holds the power in the relationship. If you did something like that, I'm guessing he would be more willing to leave you for acting so silly. Give him an ultimatum, and be willing to follow through. If he doesn't shape up, find someone better. There are lots of stable guys in the world.

[Asker]

What would be a good ultimatum to give?

[Stricken]

Something along the lines of, "STOP BEING STUPID OR I'M LEAVING YOU!" Yeah... something like that. He may stop his foolishness for now, but that doesn't mean he won't do the same thing again when he gets angry. You need to constantly keep a check on this behavior (Not that it should be your job to, but you wanted an easier solution). You need to let him know that he needs to open up and tell you what's going on immediately.

[stunwall]

hey this is happening to me to and I am super worried, I think really the best thing to do is give him space, sometimes I try to give my boyfriend space, but then he might ask me to do something with him that night so it doesn't work?