My girlfriend parties every weekend. It bothers me. What do I do? (Page 2)
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“We aren’t friends anymore”
So you aren’t friends with your girlfriend? I think you’ve answered your own question.
No, that was aimed at the individuals I used to be friends with, not at my ex.
I’d let her go. If you’re focused on your life and achieving something better for yourself someone like that is only going to drag you down. I’m sure she’s done a lot more than make out w thenm, especially while she was drinking and smoking. You don’t want to fish in that pond, probably full of bacteria that you don’t want. To me it sounds like she’s got some sort of issues. I mean why is she making out w 4 dudes, there’s something going on there mentally. I don’t know her whole background but that sounds a little extreme. Move on bro, you do you. Trust me you’ll meet someone else who will compliment your life as you will here. You’re barely 18, way to early to consider settling down. Live your life, travel some, then maybe around the age of 26-28 I’d consider a real relationship. No I’m not saying go out and bang all the muff you can either. Just be young and have fun.
You know, all of the things you said so far are negative and make me want to say "Leave her".
What do you like about her? You never mentioned it.
She must be a 10/10 in looks
Yeah, hope she's at least hot
Any female can be well 10/10 but if she exhibits any of what the asker has described then I'd be single in a second.
Well, she is an 11/10.
Visually maybe, but it seems that's the only reason you're with her. Am I wrong?
Nope. I'm not a guy who is just for looks. Personality is the core.
So what do you see in her?
I've read your other comments and I know how you feel. You've talked to her many times and obviously things aren't going well. It's hard to let go of a relationship that has been dragging on for so long but you really should. It might seem hard now but it's for the best. Good luck buddy, my DM is always open if you need to chat.
Look. If you have exploited all possible solutions and failed. It's not right that you hurt yourself and mind with someone who won't listen to you and gives no importance or appreciation for what you are doing for her which from what you are saying , you're talking for her own good and for the sake of your relationship. So for me that means she's not committed to you like you are to her. If you want another try with her keep her away from her friends that drag her into these situations and be fully political with her when talking about these subjects, try to convince her that you are talking for her own sake. If you don't want another chance just end your relationship and look for a better partner more suitable for yourself and has more appreciation for what you are doing for her.
I sympathize with your situation. Many times- when people say someone else is "this or that"- it is really a reflection of what is wrong with themselves. (It's called "projection" in psychological jargon.) With her disrespect of your friendship, she is the one being toxic to you! This is a lop-sided, abusive situation, and I would certainly think seriously of ending it sooner than later. We will be praying for you.
I knew a couple in a very similar situation as yours. Sorry to say it ended after being together 6 years and getting engaged.
better late than never.
@AmerRestInit it was a very painful and toxic brake up. I'd recommend he leaves now before he gets really hurt
Agreed. Time will only increase emotional attachment and build bad habits, not counting the risks of disease and potential criminal charges if she forgets something in his car. It's easy to lack the understanding that one deserves and can do better when they are young, but it is a necessary wisdom. He should think about what will be left of him for the next girl, not trying to salvage this one. We can only ever save ourselves, no matter what fairy tails say of knights.
Well, at least it happened.
If any of your friends had a girlfriend like that you would advise them to leave her. I advise you to do the same.
Yeah, that's true.
If people show you who they are, believe them. Stop expecting her to change. She isn't going to. It's better to cut your losses.
Okay man, you need to define what your red lines are and then determine whether or not this girl has crossed them. Are you cool with:
1) Your girl hooking up with other girls/guys?
2) Your girl badmouthing you to other people?
3) Your girl smoking weed?
4) Your girl partying and hanging out with a party crowd without you?
Personally, for me the first 2 would be absolute deal-breakers so I would've ditched her the second she crossed those lines. 3) for me personally isn't great either, but I might be able to deal with it if she's reducing her consumption and would eventually stop.
Figure out what you want and then you do you man!
Just start going out in Poland and meeting new girls. I'm pretty sure you can do better. A lot of Polish chicks are pretty hot too, no?
I was in a similar situation, there's only one thing you can do: Talk to her and explain how you feel about it.
If she keeps it up, then it will not work out and you have no choice but to let her ruin her life, but if he really likes you and isn't stupid, then she'll stop and think about what she's doing and bad things could be avoided. I hope you'll manage to get through to her, but if she is a partygirl type then i don't have much hope
Maybe you don't need to be with her especially with the whole making out with your friends situation.
To be honest, I've never imagined a girl that would be with me, who makes out with her and my friends. (Especially hers).
There's girls out there that won't do that.
Toxic relationship. Don't hold on to it just because you had some good times in the past or because of how strongly you liked her once. You need to end this for your own well-being, my man.
Now see, that's how I felt yesterday when she left me.
I felt the need to apologize and do my best to fix all of this, but I also looked on the other side of our relationship and realized that EVEN THOUGH there were great and amazing moments when we were together, it still hurt me how I couldn't get involved and help her out and ask her if she could do something for me for her own good (i. e cut down on drinking, maybe stop smoking).
Break up dude... I lost my first love because she liked to party too much (drinking, smoking (occasionally))
She lied to me many times... And she use to hangout with toxic friends
Yup, sounds identical to my situation.
Yeah...
Honestly drop her.. Her behavior is unacceptable if she is in a relationship, and keeping her around is not worth the heart ache and stress. The fact that she kisses/makes out with others while out with her "friends" is disgusting and unacceptable. The fact that she drinks a lot and smokes a lot of weed shows a weak personality and indicates she needs mental help. If she can't quit for you than she is not worth your time.
I've half-assedly read only part of this and I already know the answer: Dump her.
You're welcome.
Oh you better break up with her and find a better person that suits you, that understands you
She's not the right person for you
I hope you find a suitable person soon
Have a good day 😊
It doesn't seem to be about partying. It's about destructive behavior. You tried to help her, it didn't work, now move on... you're her boyfriend not a social worker.
Break up with her if you are loosing feelings and getting hurt constantly
Tell her and if she doesn't compromise, that means she's too immature for you and you need to find a different boo