In a relationship, who should be the head of the household? (Page 2)
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I think men should be head and make the final decisions, but the woman should guide because she can see things he doesn't.
I think they both should make the tough decisions. If they are living in that house together they should make the choices together.
Well , some do. But I prefer my bae for that. Decisions need to be taken maturely , not emotionally.
Some women are able to make some decisions without emotions influencing their choice.
Yea I agree some women do take decisions maturely but many take emotionally.
Most women want men to lead whether they admit it or not. That’s not to say women shouldn’t have their say and man shouldn’t listen. For a happy marriage or relationship this is necessary.
Being the leader isn’t always fun. You have to bare the consequences of bad decisions.
this is what men tell themself to feelbetter about wanting to be in control
@sarahl112 no at a hormonal, biological level this is what most women really want. They don’t respect men they can order around.
I have been dating a new girl for the last 6 months. I treat her very well and vice versa. But 9 times out of 10 I make plans and decide where to go and what to do. I pick her up and drive her wherever. She offers to pay often (which I very much appreciate) but I usually I take care of things when it’s my idea.
I still can remember a few years ago how I let my ex girlfriend do things that were her idea most of the time. I thought I let her take the wheel. She lost respect for me for allowing it to go that way. I’ll never do that again
There's a balance.
I was in a relationship with a man who always wanted his way.
Believe it or not, as a woman, I have views that I want to be respected and I actually do want things to go my way sometimes. I'm not a puppet.
But a guy who can never make up his mind reflects lack of confidence and disorganization.
I think relationships are best when the men is respectful enough to let the woman have the final say when its clear its important to her, but also confident in his own decisions.
@sarahl112 I’m talking about deciding on where to go, what to do or even where to live. Women EXPECT men to call the shots. It’s not always easy for us though.
you're saying what all women expect based on your experience.
If I was with a guy who always planned the dates/vacations/etc, I 'd break up with him. A gentleman asks what she wants, but a good amount of time also has things planned he knows she likes. not every. single. time. thats messed up.
@sarahl112 i didn’t say every single time. But once I start showing indecision because I honestly don’t know what to do or am sick of carrying the weight of making a decision... that’s is a HUGE turn off to women. The might not even consciously realize it but they see that as weakness.
I’ve asked girls what they would like to do in the past... and they gave me perplexed look (bad).
All this modern feminism doesn’t change any of that
This is coming from someone who was raised to be a “nice guy” by the way. I had to learn the hard way.
In theory gender shouldn't matter. But good luck being a guy who is willing to let a woman take the lead. No woman will ever date that man. Women demand that the men they date dominate them so of course a man has to be the head of the household.
71% of the electorate says men are the head of the household. Women won't admit it but they won't date a loser that lets them take that role, they just won't. Most women want their men to be alpha males in the home in some way, with some exceptions.
You tell yourself that.
Its not some exceptions.
ALL women want to be respected and cared for, not being controlle. d
The vote is a bit sexist is it not. I think it depends on circumstances, my (ex) wife would run the house as I worked two jobs and it was easier for her to deal with the banking and other matters as she was the one at home
Why should there be a head of the household? Why can't we both discuss it and come to an agreement with each other?
So if you want to move to ny for a job and he wants to move to cali for a job and you both really want it... someone has to say no this is whats going down. Some things there's no compromise and no convincing someone. The person who makes that choice is the HoH
@bamesjond0069 "The person who makes that choice is the HoH "
No they just get their way for whatever reason.
@bamesjond0069 Nope.
Why does there need to be a head? I like to think my wife and I carry equal weight when it comes to making important decisions.
Because a car can't have two drivers
@Wowgirl30q my wife would beg to differ based on the comments and suggestions I get when I'm driving 😊
This question is DUMB
There is no option for BOTH MAN AND WOMAN
Can't be both. If you want mexican food and he wants sushi do you both eat alone or starve? One person has to make the decision at some point and override the other person. Companies dont have 2 ceos, planes dont have 2 captains, households dont have 2 head of households.
Lol pilots. I had boats on the brain.
No, its not possible for two people to agree on every decision.
So there's a thing called respect and compromise.
Sometimes he'll let it go her way, sometimes he'll let it go his way.
If someone needs to have it their way all the time, theyre a jerk or abusive.
she'll
So what if he doesn't let it go her way this time and she doesn't let it go his way this time?
Just saying these are the couples that fight all the time because they have no way to resolve disagreements.
@bamesjond0069
YOU RESOLVE DISAGREEMENTS BECAUSE YOU BOTH RESPECT EACH OTHER AND WANT THE OTHER TO BE HAPPY MOST OF ALL.
ONE PERSON DOES NOT HAVE PRIMARY SAY.
ITS ABOUT MUTUAL RESPECT
Ur completely getting me wrong. Head of the house dosent mean only he will take most of the decisions. It means he will do most of the important work. And the other person will play the supportive role.
I don’t see how anyone would resolve disagreements with you when I can clearly see that you don’t have the patience for sitting down and discussing things. You’re text yelling at a guy you don’t even know about resolving disagreements because you don’t agree with him. I feel like perhaps you think you’d know how to do things but the truth is that people are people and people clash. You’re never gonna 100% want what the other person wants, there’s compromise but one or both have to compromise. He’s telling you that no situation is going to be 100% hence, there’s going to be a person that has to compromise.
@JoyISok3 what the hell?
thats such a ridiculous thing what you said about me.
i'm very repsectful and understand that relationships are about compromise and respect.
its compltely false that there needs to be a 'captain'-as someone who was in an abusive relationship, i know that that can be toxic. even in a non abusive relationship its bad. relationships are partnerships.
he's the one who suggested this keeping score competition thing.
if that's happening, thats an unrelated problem
Whether you want to admit it or not, there’s always a person that compromises more. But it’s not looked at as a compromise that you keep a tally on. Usually it’s just easier to say “whatever let’s do that”
HoH listens to all sides. Weighs the pros and cons and then makes the best decision for the Family (not themselves).
Compromise is often not the best solution. Yeah if we are getting a candy to share and i hate one thing and you hate another we can compromise on something we both like. Real life rarely works this way. Its dumb to assume you can use this strategy to resolve all issues nor should you even if you could.
There has to be a captain or else you will face either endless arguing or analysis paralysis and just make no decisions because nobody ever budged so you just follow the path down the stream wherever it takes you.
Whoever makes better choices. I've dated men that were better at it. I've also dated one who was a financial moron.🤷♀️ There is no finite answer
I would say it was based off of your natural progression in your relationship, & what each other's comfortable with being in charge of.
Whoever has all their shit together financially, physically, and emotionally.
We both earn but.
In finances the person who pays the highest contribution towards bills should be the head of the household.
Men for the most part. We’re biologically programmed to take lead in the relationships.
you're biologically programmed to have ego issues which makes you need power and control
@sarahl112 Yeah high counts of testosterone at times lead to egocentric behavior, but that’s not the reasoning as to why we feel the urge to lead.
your testosterone makes you want to lead.
DUH.
You want to feel in control.
That's why so many rape, and in history women haven't had rights until recently.
Women don't need to put others down to build themselves up, thats a testosterone thing.
@sarahl112 That’s not a testosterone thing lol. That’s a character defect from a psychological standpoint. You’re not a victim so stop acting like it.
You said I'm a victim, not me.
Considering that only like 80 years ago women were allowed to vote, and in most of the world women are still treated as second class citizens, men opressing women obviously has a phsyiological basis, probably due partly to testosterone. in fact its confirmed through research that high testosterone is associated with aggression.
its not like its just a huge coincidence that for most of history men treated women as second class and mistreated them. its biological
@sarahl112 You’re acting like a victim. Blacks were oprressed before as well. White male roman slaves were forced to fight in the gladiator arena back in 73 BC. You’re not oppressed today unless you live in a third world country. I don’t believe for a second that men by nature are these narcissistic pigs and women have just always been perfect by nature and just oppressed because of it. If women throughout history were more suitable leaders, then they would have led. Simple as that. This idea that there is just this sexist man out there in the ether creating sexist societal rules that oppress women is just utter bullshit and it only creates a divide rather than any solution. Men aren’t holding you back, nor is society. The only person holding you back is yourself. Men aren’t of this narcissistic generic profile as you make them out to be. You sound bitter, and it’s altering your sense of reality.
High counts of testosterone are correlated to aggressuom, but the male and female endor crime system is much more complex than that. I’ve been studying endocrinology for years, so if you want to debate this, let’s go.
If your man is not the head of your household you will never have peace and tranquility, respect love and devotion, nor happiness in your home. EVER.
I can't speak to other people, but I have always been a benevolent despot. I let her make the choices she wishes, but keep a veto, and use it as sparingly as I can.
If I was married, I would want the man to be the head of household, but would want to be included in decision-making as I am also intelligent and have a lot to offer.
Depends which one is less stupid. Men react emotionally too.
Why not both, my parents are quite old school but they divide stuff, no one is 'in charge" both do what they do best
Both. There should be an equal amount of power🤷🏽♀️ One person shouldn’t overtake another and this is coming from a complete sub😂