Ladies, How to politely ask and convince my wife to wear thong bikini on beach (please read details)?

[AlfredQuack]

Ladies,

My wife and I have both 26 years and we are together for 3 years.
She is very sexy to me and when I met her was really sexy and attractive girl.
Now she gained few pounds. I really don't care about that and i tell her everyday how sexy she is now and how much I like her belly.

She was very free, courage, sexy and confident lady before. She always dressed decent but sexy and guy was turning their heads after her. Now she thinks she is fat, even if she really isn't fat at all, she just has a small belly. Now she dresses only baggy and big clothes.
I would like to make her dress sexy again and be more confident like before.

When we talked about vacation last year she told me she would like to wear thong bikini and was shocked at first (also a bit jealous), especially when she told me she already did that before when she was younger. As I started to think about that I became more and more interested, even obsessed with that idea. I really liked all that and imagined her many times. She put that seed in my mind and that idea was growing very nice and fast :)

When I told her now how excited I am that we finally can go to that vacation and how it turns me on to watch her in that thong bikini and how much I will enjoy her body, she turned me down telling me she doesn't want to wear that anymore, she doesn't feel sexy as before and she is not pretty enough for something like that.

How can I politely ask her to wear that bikini? How to make her be feel sexy, desired, pretty and confident again?
How not to be rude but discuss with her about her insecurity and my desires that she dress sexy again?

Any help would be appreciated and thank you in advance ladies.

[zed-789]

Everybody else has pretty much made great contributions. Definitely go to the gym with her. Make her excited about it. Even if she doesn’t loose any weight she will feel like she is and will become more confident. Compliment her a lot on how she looks and pack the bikini thong anyways. Don’t tell her. Then surprise her and say something like “ you are so beautiful and you’ve been working so diligently on your body at the gym. I’m so proud of you and really think you deserve to let your beauty shine in this bikini. Not for others, for yourself” if you hype her up enough and talk about empowering shit she’ll most likely do it. Good luck.

[AlfredQuack]

Thanks a lot :)

[Iwant2kno]

It’s really simple, it’s a matter of you telling her how much you appreciate her body and how sexy you think she is, physical touch & affirmation would really help, just start by doing that. Then you can buy her that sexy thong bikini set and give her a surprise, make sure you let her know you think she’s sexy when you give it to her though, some flowers would be nice to soften the moment. She needs to feel wanted to start thinking of herself as sexy again.
Good luck! 🍀👍🏼

[AlfredQuack]

Thanks a lot :)

[Iwant2kno]

You’re welcome! I hope that idea helps! 😊👍🏼

[luvstoned4him]

Deserves MHO - couldn't have said it better

[Chikky]

Take her to the gym and you both can work together in making her feel that way again

[AlfredQuack]

Thanks :)

[Chikky]

You're welcome

[Christyville]

Here's the problem:
You can tell her all day long how sexy she is, but she will never believe you. Why? Because she knows you love her. Perhaps it's the ultimate paradox.
If I were you, I''d turn this into a playful joke. Tell her that she is wrong, and you know you're right. Then ask her if she's willing to make a bet with you. (Come up with a prize for the winner of the bet)

The bet is that you will post some tasteful, but sexy pics of her online, and you'll let the viewers decide. (it's easy to either crop out or mask her face)

If the majority of the viewers think she's sexy, then you win the prize. If the majority don't think she's sexy, then she wins the prize.
Oh, and this is the very last site that you'd want to do that on. Find a site with less haters on it.

[AlfredQuack]

Thanks a lot :)
This is great idea :D
What about Reddit? I don't know any other

[Christyville]

I don't know much about that site, but you should Google: "Rate my wife" and see what pops up. If I thought of it, I'm sure a million other people have.
Or maybe you can ask that question on GAG and see if others know of a site.

[AlfredQuack]

Thanks, very pragmatic :)

[AlfredQuack]

Ps. 99% of results are porn sites :D

[Christyville]

I was just thinking the very same thing. I just Googled it, and found that out. But there must be a site for women wearing clothes, where guys can comment. You could attempt posting her on GAG, but just make sure you see the results before she does. The last thing you need is for her seeing negative reviews.

[Julie_TS]

Honestly, you can't or at least shouldn't bring it up to her. That will only cause additional unnecessary stress to an already stressful situation. She is having body image issues that need support and understanding. No matter how many times you tell her how good you think she looks, she currently has a mental block about her body and will process any continued request to wear it as pressure to please your wants and needs.

[AlfredQuack]

very good explanation, thanks
what can I do to make hebody image better?

[Julie_TS]

Simple things are, just being there & listening... don't try to interject, advise or talk over her when she's talking. Sometimes she just might need to vent and have someone there to listen.
Be aware of things you say in general that she might adopt to herself, eg... don't point out all the obese women at Walmart, etc. Always be 'body positive' in conversations with her whether it pertains to her or others.

[AlfredQuack]

i don't get it... it is just listening to complains... but, how do I help her having better image about herself that way? what can I really do to make her feel BETTER

[Julie_TS]

Well, first off, I'd immediately stop referring to it as 'complaining' as that kinda gives off a bad vibe about your level of care or concern.
Second, there might not be a whole lot you can do at this point. It's a fine line between being helpful and the appearance of being pushy. Let's say she doesn't regularly go to the gym, by you suddenly telling her she should start, it might come across as you telling her she's fat. Same with food, if all of the sudden you start pushing a different way of eating, she may see it as a sign that you think something is wrong woth her.
Now, if she comes right out and asks for your help or for your suggestions, then you by all means help away. Just be careful about how you word things, etc
Often times people need to deal with these issues by themselves and there isn't much we can do to help them but to just be there for them.

[AlfredQuack]

Thanks a lot :)
ps. female brain really IS rocket science :D

[SammyGurl]

Start working out together, nothing builds confidence in a gal after she's had a baby, than seeing the results of some hard exercise! It's motivating too, we see things returning to mostly normal pre pregnant shape and we start wanting it back as close as we can get it. For me it's been six months since I delivered twins, I've been working my tail off literally! Enough so that I don't mind traipsing around the house in my birthday suit for him! Really builds confidence knowing he likes what he sees. There for a while I was kind of depressed when I looked at my body with all that loose skin that didn't seem like it would ever shrink! (I kept taking really hot baths, no results no shrinking!!) Once We hit the gym again it was like some sort of addicting drug fed by seeing the thin me showing herself in the mirror, she didn't come back soon enough for me!

[NicolaD]

I appreciate you want to see her looking sexy and probably she does for you but she doesn’t want to “parade herself” in front of others. It’s her body let her make the decisions she is comfortable with and sorry, but you are going to have to live with her decision.

[AlfredQuack]

But it was her idea at first and she did that before me already

[NicolaD]

It’s her body and so her decision

[Felinegirl]

Keep telling her how sexy and beautiful she is. Also, maybe convince her to wear it inside with only you first, then gradually let her adjust to wearing it out.

In addition, you could buy her sexy lingerie and tell her how hot she looks in it.

Finally, try to get the spark back by doing romantic things every now and then. Buy her flowers. offer a back massage. Surprise her with a candlelit dinner. Show her you love and admire her, so she can learn to love and admire herself again too.

[AlfredQuack]

Thanks

[Elliegirl]

Compliment her and remind her how beautiful, sexy, and desirable she is. Your praise may give her the confidence she needs to wear her thong bikini again. Just remember it’s ultimately her choice if she wants to wear it or not. Whatever she decides, don’t be disappointed if she doesn’t wear the thong bikini and don’t stop with the compliments.

[Kitty46]

Don’t push her to wear anything she not comfortable wearing if you keep pushing, you might make things worse. Just keep telling her she beautiful & sexy, the sexiest woman on earth. Take her to the mirror to show her & tell her, look how beautiful you are, you look so great if we weren’t married, I would ask you to marry me. Make her feel good about her body, say stuff that is romantic. Tell her she look perfect to you.

[GraveDoll]

you guys are married. You should be able to discuss anything. If she self concise help her out. Just discuss with her that she is fine the way she is and what can you do to help?

(but I love the gym.)

[Anonymous]

Don’t force her, if she doesn’t want to wear it anymore then just leave it be.

[AlfredQuack]

Did you even read whole question or just posted reply to be first and get xp? It is not about thong at all, but her confidence...

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, I did read the question. And I said if she doesn’t want to wear it then just leave it alone. She can feel confident without having to wear one. There are other ways to boost her confidence other than her feeling uncomfortable wearing something she doesn’t want to.

[AlfredQuack]

Would you please be kind and tell me what other ways?

[Opinion Owner]

Find out what about herself makes her insecure and help her from there, if it’s something that can be fixed then encourage her to and if it’s not then just help her learn to love whatever it is that makes her insecure

[AlfredQuack]

Obviously it's her body she is insecure about...

[Opinion Owner]

Well yes but what about it makes her insecure...

[AlfredQuack]

Her belly and not so sexy legs. Her body in general. Her curves on wrong places.

[Opinion Owner]

I’m sincerely hoping you don’t tell her that her legs are not sexy 😅

[AlfredQuack]

Hahaha, of course not. I tell her all the time they are cute and sexy but she always knows when my compliments are genuine and when not :D

[Opinion Owner]

Is she into fitness? maybe it could be something you guys could take up together, like you support her and encourage her by working out together? :)

[AlfredQuack]

She doesn't like fitness at all, but that could be good idea. She tried it before and always quit after few times.

[Opinion Owner]

There are some dance work outs on YouTube that are really fun, they’re made for people that struggle with motivation and it just makes the whole fitness experience fun and enjoyable, maybe give those a try? :)

[AlfredQuack]

Anything that doesn't include exercising? :D

[Opinion Owner]

Self love, teaching self love can boost her confidence 😊

[AlfredQuack]

any tutorial or advice on how to do it?:D