"I trust you, I don't trust other people" - it's genuine or just an excuse for their jealousy?

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

[alice55]

It's more complicate than that. In general a jealous person is an insecure person, he think so lowly of himself he can't believe the person he's dating would want to stay with him, think others people are better than him so he's always thinking his partner would leave him for someone better (or that someone would take his partner away).

I don't see this as a trust issue more like an issue about the jealous person self worth / insecurity one they feel confident they won't be jealous anymore.

The "I trust you, I don't trust other people" is a genuine but it's more for possessive people. Possessive people aren't particularly insecure or anything they just tend to be bratty. They think they own their partner and refuse to "share" them which mean they dislike anybody talking, touching or looking at them.
Possessiveness is just a trait of personality while jealousy is caused by insecurity about his own self worth.

And it also depend on their partner personality if their partner is very quiet and shy they won't say much if someone is flirting with them or putting their arms around their shoulder. That would make them feeling uncomfortable but they won't say anything in this case it's genuine.
Too there's people that are super dense so in this case I think it's also genuine.

[GraveDoll]

To me:
It like saying I only trust you if you are not in another person company.

Think about it, if you took it at face value it like saying that "others" can't be trusted because they can somehow hold you do and "force" sex on you or whatever. That makes no sense.

No matter who's around. It still up to the person to be responsible. Be stern in setting boundaries and know how to simply say no.

I had a guy say this to me once and I was like "excuse" me I have a father and I am more than capable of looking out for myself and staying out of trouble.

We didn't last long. I hate jealous with a passion. Considering I'm so fair in giving trust. Especially if he has never given me a reason to think so an even then I will discuss it first.

"I trust you, I don't trust other people"
Really means I'm worried others will find you attractive and it makes me nervous or uncomfortable because I'm not there.

I have never said this but when a woman says it this

what it REALLY means:

she almost ALWAYS (fact) means that she really doesn't trust you, but she wants to look like an understanding person so she puts blame on others.

[btbc92]

It depends on the person. When I say I actually mean it and my friends and those that know me understands that what I say is entirely genuine. If a person doesn't as excuse with a jealousy, you would actually know it for yourself by their actions. You can always trust yourself to know the reason why you don't trust other people. If they can't respect how you feel then they don't need to be with you. If I cannot respect the person's choice, then I need to leave. I don't need to get hurt and neither do they.

[BeHappy1985]

If their trust towards you was genuine they wouldn't get jealous about other people. But insecurities also play a big role, this is why girls need to be told that you love them and miss them every five minutes, that is if you don't want them to start arguments about some nonsense they made up in their head.

[spartan55]

This is 100% bullshit. Why? The statement implies that you lack the ability/desire to say "Sorry, not interested", that you are powerless against the crowd of supermodels looking to sleep with you. Excuse, and not even one that passes logic.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Apparently she imagines that every time I'm out of her view I'm making love to hordes of lustful women.
That, or they are trying to snatch me away from her.

[spartan55]

I wouldn't tolerate that, I don't know how you do it dude.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Because I'm actually a love machine who makes love to hordes of women! >D
Just kidding, I just try to wade around her jealousy and not give her reasons to get more clingy.

[spartan55]

Sounds like she creates more than enough reasons all by herself.

[coachTanthony]

The worst excuse ever for JEALOUSY. I can't stand when somebody tells me that. So annoying.

[CherryRoseChampange]

It depends I think but generally I find it as an excuse. Like if you trust me, then you don't need to trust other people. Because you trust me to behave a certain way no matter how other people act.

[OlderAndWiser]

"If you trust me, don't you trust me enough to say no? Don't you trust me enough to honor my promises to you? No one can seduce me unless I agree to be seduced!"

[StingRayxoxo]

Genuine but could be both. I legitimately don't trust other people.

[MzAsh]

It’s an excuse dressed as a genuine concern.

[Mathilda02]

From what I believe. . . It is genuine. Now I don't know if this is gonna make sense. . . But bare with me lol.

Personally, I have a boyfriend right now that I adore completely. He has this friend (female) that is openly admitting to wanting him in a dirty way. . . Now. . . I trust him very much. . . But I don't trust her. I say this because even though him and I are happily dating she doesn't back off. . . She keeps flirting and hitting on him and I really don't like it. She doesn't respect our relationship at all.
I know that if him and her were to hang out that she would try something with him. . . He could stop her etc. . . But the damage will already have been done.
Let's say for example that she jumped him and kissed him. . . Yes he could stop her. . . But she still will have kissed him. . . Or worse. . . If they were to hang out at his or her house. . . Then she could just strip down completely. . . Then he will have seen her naked. . . Damage already done. . . What happens next is fully on her.
So I fully believe that people can distrust other people whilst still trusting their partner completely.

[FragileSnowflake]

Queeeen

[spartan55]

@Mathilda02
I get what you are saying here, but doesn't that fall back on your boyfriend to set better boundaries? If I had a female friend/acquaintance/coworker that acted like that towards my I would either tell them to stop that crap, or not be their friend.

[Mathilda02]

@spartan55
I agree with u 100%. However. . . As in the case with my boyfriend. . . He already talks to her as little as possible and doesn't hang around her, but at our school or at his job she is always coming onto him and he can't avoid it. He tells her to go away but she doesn't. So in some situations it just isn't avoidable and hence my previous statement still stands. I trust him but I can't trust her... she worms her way into everything and could hence still do damage. So I still strongly believe that you can trust ur partner but not other people.🌸

[spartan55]

Okay, you can believe that if you want, but you are naive to say your boyfriend "can't avoid it". He likes the attention so he isn't stopping it.
Again, if some woman was acting like that towards me, it would take ONE conversation for that to end, for good.

[Mädchen]

It's an excuse. It doesn't matter if they don't trust others. They don't have to. Even if every women in the world would be after my hypothetical boyfriend, as long as they aren't forcing him to do anything, it's completly in his hands wheter he acts on it or not. So the only person I need to trust is him

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

This is a straight up manipulation tactic. Why?

Because it is almost natural for people to find others attractive and if they do not know your status, they will approach you. This is true of both genders. How the partner responds determines if anything will happen.

What is actually being said is "i do not trust you but I do not want to accuse you and have you get angry at me"

If that partner truly trusted the spouse, then it wouldn't matter who approached them because they know their spouse will stop them from crossing boundaries.

[JacobJordan]

it depends on the context for example I trust my wife when it comes to her going out for errands and such (she doesn't go to clubs she hates them as do I) on the flip side I trust her to go out late at night if she needs to but I do not trust other people so I accompany her so as to ensure she is safe. the first instance is definitely one where if you trust them but not others its jealousy because they won't doing anything unless they want to. the second situation is genuine concern. the thing I like to remind people is jealousy is spelled with lousy for a reason.

[pinkhoodie53]

Depends on the person. Some people have malevolent intentions when it comes to people. My mom has often said that it isn’t me that she’s concerned about (well yes) but other people because she views me as trusting and naïve and assumes that everyone I meet will take advantage of me.

[Moonchild714]

Bold face Lie!!! If you trust me then it doesn't matter what others want, you trust I will do the right thing. By saying you don't trustothers is saying I can be swayed and will do whatever... Therefore, you don't Trust Me or Have Faith In US!!!

[gypsydream]

Sounds like my boyfriend... it’s like a way of telling the truth about how them feel but shifting the blame on someone else so it doesn’t look like he doesn’t trust you

[smg99]

Read it as I don’t trust you I don’t trust others even more. Code language but instinctively you know it’s meaning is insecurity to be abandoned and left for another.

[pleasestopthis]

It's an excuse. That kind or argument is to disguise the fact that your partner doesn't fully trust you. It actually takes two people to cheat: if you don't pay any attention to someone else, why worry about that?

[bamesjond0069]

Two people to cheat unless you're raped. And maybe they trust you not to go looking but they dont trust you if its right in your face. Ie you trust your man but do you trust him alone in a vip room at a strip club with a completely naked woman? Maybe he trusts you but not drunk with hot guys who want to have sex with you.

[pleasestopthis]

@bamesjond0069 yeah, but I wouldn't trust in a guy who puts himself in that situation. If a guy knows he can be tempted and still goes, he's not trustworthy. The same with a guy who can't behave when drinking alcohol.

[lonely18]

If any sort of aggression is directed to you, then likely an excuse. If he's had a history of being betrayed or is insecure, then it's likely genuine fear, and he needs you to quell it.

[Anonymous]

That's a confused statement. What that really means is that they only trust you so much but don't want to say the don't completely trust you for fear of upsetting the situation. They may also have valid concerns about others in particular.

[Kurαȷ]

It's erroneous.
If you trust your partner, what the intentions of other people are should be completely irrelevant.

[SirRexington]

It could be genuine but also I'd like to point out that some bit of jealousy is very much required and healthy in a relationship to keep up boundaries and territory

[Kurodo]

I mean if they really trusted you then they wouldn't be worried but sure something like spiked drinks or dark alleys could happen but its not super likely.

[TacosRAwesome]

Maybe genuine but do you want to be with someone who thinks you're an idiot and easily screwed over because what this says (in my opinion) is that you're too naive to not get in trouble.

[bamesjond0069]

Thats all well and good. I had a girlfriend once who never cheated but she liked to party and drink and one day she got either too drunk or roofied or something. She was literally passed out and someone raped her. Technically its not her fault but at the same time i can't be having to worry about that. Its not right. A trustworthy girl would not put herself in those situations. Now i will not date a girl who thinks its ok to get drunk without me or without someone like a close family member with her. Just not acceptable. Its only a matter of time if she thinks she can go out partying on her own or even with gfs (most girls will stab you in the back fyi) so they are not good to watch your back. Eventually something bad will happen and I've learned everything that happens to you is ultimately your own fault for putting yourself in that situation in which said thing could happen.

[Alpha09]

It's more of an excuse. If you trust me then other people won't be a problem.

[Alpha09]

If I'm trustworthy then what other people do isn't an issue.