What's the difference between love and lust/obsession?

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

[Aysen]

One is completely genuine; the other is temporary. You may often wonder if what you really feel for someone is true love or just a burst of infatuation from having a sudden attraction to them. Love is a feeling you have for someone when you've adapted to them and have grown an emotional, romantic attachment to them as time progresses, clicking together with similar interests/beliefs, being supportive and/or having similar personality types! Lust/obsession isn't afraid to eye candy you with someone you find attractive right on the spot without looking deeper into that person's background. It could be a quick attraction to their personality, a particular talent of theirs, maybe their physical appearance and/or it could simply be you wanting to get sexual with them.

When you love someone, you're there for them at their best and worst moments because you can't imagine leaving them in a state of weakness/pain. Lust/obsession is simply convenience and ensures you're not there for when someone is breaking down from complications; simply only wanting the good parts of them. Both of them can happen to anyone; how you act upon it and how you feel about the other person will determine if you really love them or if you just love them for that moment.

[OlderAndWiser]

Lust is the desire to satisfy my physical desire for pleasure and it is focused on satisfying me.

Love is the desire to have someone in my life so that we can form a union and I can advance her interest and help her to be the best person possible.

Lust is selfish; it is about me.
Love is selfless; it is about her.

[GraveDoll]

Ummm To I love is calm. It gives. it unconditional. It understands. It like a new freedom. In the sense, you are loved and it ok to just be you. And with that, you can give back that freedom and encouragement to grow because neither one fears being left behind. and with that respect, loyalty comes and a trust that likes unbreakable. Rare.

lust and all that is everything comes with a price and a heavy one. It is never healthy. it wants and wants and needs and it always seems to need to be fixed. there no peace. suffocating. Rinse repeat.

I can honestly tell the differences between the two now.

[StingRayxoxo]

Lust and obsession don't account for your lover's well being and future. Love maximizes those things as well as a desire to express yourself to them physically.

[mistixs]

Love is about wanting to satisfy the other person. Lust is about wanting to satisfy yourself.

[Lightning8]

This is as good an answer as any

[LokiWhite]

Amazing question. I believe what separates lust from the other two is consistency. Lust fades immediately after sex, and if that's all you want from them then that is all it is. If you want them constantly in multiple activities outside of sex then you have either obsession or love, which are hard to distinguish between. I would say the difference is why you want them and what you want. If you want them to be happy, to please them for their own sake, and know them on a deep emotional level then it is love, compared to wanting them just for your own happiness and would rather them be with you even if you believe they may be happier with someone else. That's the best I can do off the top of my head.

[sexylexi99]

No that’s bull. Infatuation is intertwined with lust and many people have sex with people they don’t love or aren’t obsessed with over and over again.

[LokiWhite]

@sexylexi99 You can have lust for someone multiple times but the lust isn't persistent, whilst love always is, lust only hits when you're horny so can happen many times but is not consistent and constant always, in the same way that love is. You can certainly feel lust as well as the other two, but that is what separates lust when it is isolated by itself.

[Dchrls78104]

Here are some differences between Love and Infatuation/Lust:
1. Infatuation isn't even always nice. Love is always kind.
2. Infatuation would force an 11 year old girl into sex. Love is decent and respectful.
3. Infatuation bolts when hard times come. Love is loyal and constant.
4. Infatuation is insecure and controlling. Love is trusting and believes the best.
5. Infatuation puts its object on a pedestal. Love deals with you as a real person.
6. Infatuation can be jealous and petulant. Love is patient and serene.
7. Infatuation springs up overnight and dies overnight. Love lasts forever.

[Mollynotgemma]

So difficult to determine the difference when you are feeling such emotions... sadly love is often mistaken for infatuation and we often believe we have loved someone in the past only for the psychotic behaviour we have felt... lust and obsession do not go hand in hand with love... to truly love someone is about a reality and an ability to give yourself to someone...

[PromiscuousPrimate]

Love can mean a lot of different things. It can be a feeling, a commitment, a painful and difficult choice, or all of those things at once. How many poets have drained their ink wells, pens, and the stamina in their typing fingers trying to capture this thing called love?

While love is illusive and difficult to describe, what is lust if not the antithesis? Its a primal urge so basic and inescapable that its pretty much self explanatory.

[Anonymous]

Lust and obsession are selfish. I seem to attract dangerous people so I’ve been on the receiving end of obsession far too many times. They don’t take no for an answer, and they think that they can force you to like them back. They can be violent and manipulative. They call what they’re doing love, but I don’t think they know what love is.

[lightbulb27]

oh my, well said. let me guess, you have a lot of empathy, easy going, kind, sweet, caring, a giver:)? the fly is drawn to the watermelon.

[Opinion Owner]

That’s what people say. But I don’t think I’m significantly nicer than most people. People tend to be nice to me at least. Except for the people mentioned in my original comment.

[lightbulb27]

If you see a repeating pattern, something going on. It's often the energy you project, which comes from your sub conscious emotions. Or maybe there is an abudance of this type person. but in general, you are the chooser and the holder of boundaries for you. That in my experience is where the problem and solution is found, if there is one, it's in the sub conscious programming... yours. hope that helps:) been there done that over and over:)

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks. And I’ve thought about that a lot. I know that people who come from abusive families are more likely to end up in abusive relationships. That’s why I avoided dating until very recently, and even then I still managed to attract dangerous people. I know that I’m probably doing something. I’m just not sure how I can fix it without changing who I am.

[lightbulb27]

I think you just said it, you came from abusive family.. right? There was emotional turmoil? maybe you felt oppressed or emotionally abused? I can totally explian how this works and how to start working it out. may require counseling to get through all of it, but can make sense of it. That's exactly what's going on!!! I so need to write my book on this... it's how we function. It's not you making the decision, it's your wounds!:) And yes, you will have to resolve those wounds if you want to avoid repeating the pattern.

[lightbulb27]

I agree with so many answers below.
Love is about consideration of what is best for the other while holding high values of yourself
Lust is selfish, craving for the other.

[SiennaSurfer]

Lust and obsession are selfish, they don’t consider the other persons needs. Love is giving, prioritising that person over yourself.

[Soporific-san]

Obsession is a one way street, while lust in just in it for their own desires, while love sits on a throne for the special someone you cherish.

[JosyJosy]

One is just about you wanting to fuck the other, the other is deeper

[Ellie-V]

Love is selfless appreciation. Lust is selfish objectification.

[Anjali090]

Well said! 👍🏼

[AtramentalIvory]

I think love is caring about someone, and lust is wanting to be sexual/very romantic with someone. I think obsession can come with both of them.

[ChiPaPa]

Lust: Seeing the person that you are with in lingerie posing seductively, "You are so fucking sexy"
Love: Seeing the person that you are with in sweat pants and eating, "You are so fucking sexy"

[markscott]

Lust wants and desires. Love wants, and does, what is best for the one you love.

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

Well when I love someone, I don't break into her house and masturbate over her while she sleeps.

[chlopop]

Love is painful and involves vulnerability lust tends not to

[fonduegirl]

love is about self control and giving space and time...

makes sense?: D

[Twenty2]

Take all the time you need pink anon!

[fonduegirl]

I'd take forever in that case

[Twenty2]

My forever is 365 days. Is that enough?

[genericname85]

love is when you still wanna hang out after the lust is gone.

[CoffeeWC]

Lust and obsession is selfish. Love requires effort and commitment.

[Anonymous]

I think these are not comparable. Lust is more physical and its a part of life. Love is selfless and more purest things in the world.

[Anonymous]

If you ask for your girlfriend it's a mix of the three, really...
She'll drain you, slay you and then devour the carcass... figuratively speaking ofc...

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

I'd really not have read that, but thank you

[Opinion Owner]

It's the truth I get the feel you are a completely broken man

[Anonymous]

This question makes me question my faith in humanity.

[Anonymous]

Love is what develops with time AFTER you get into a committed relationship (typically: marriage). Whatever happens before that is lust.

[Wowgirl30q]

Mental Health
Restraining Orders
Payments 😂

[Liam_Hayden]

Lust is selfish. Love is giving.

[Iron_Man]

That's totally two different things

[Randomlips]

Jealousy and dominance

[Secretgardenblood]

Love? Difference?

[Joker_]

No difference