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No he has a poor work ethic and is behind on b ills he asked me for money
Uh oh. Sounds like trouble.
Struggling to meet ends
Well, the others are right that it *is your money*. Unless you're underage, you can spend it however you wish. If giving someone money makes them happy and that makes you happy, then... (*sigh*... probably both of you have the wrong priorities, but...) ... go for it.But NEVER confuse the relationship with money with the relationship with your SO... (look @ the happy ones who are rich, the happy ones that are poor, and then compare them to everyone living miserable lives...)"Miser" + "able" (they don't call it "miser" + "cain")😅
More to the point; first, be clear *why* you might want to give him money. If it's no different than handing a panhandler change because you feel sorry for him, the *last thing* you want to do is be public about it... (unless you're in Philanthropy, in which case, it's good press)But if you're wanting to *invest* in a guy (which is a totally *different* thing entirely), you'll want to set forward some expectations in advance, like, "If I give you ($X), can you do A, B, or C?"That way, you learn to talk clearly about $ with him (& hopefully he can be forthcoming and do the same).
See, I hear *alot of misinformation* (especially from non-males) about "What a real man" is, and frankly, I think those types have probably been spoiled by their tailored pets and wouldn't know what a "real man" is even half the time, or be disgusted by how far they've debased humanity as a whole...A "real man" *IF* he's in an actual relationship with you (that's the caveat), won't think in terms of "wow, she's giving me $!"... He'd think along the lines of "Oh? What's this for?" or "Cool, WE have $300, how do WE want to spend it" (and will involve you in the process of the spending one way or another...)And before I get flamed by the "real men" out there, let me explain why...BECAUSE IT SAYS TO THE LADY "I AIN'T SPENDING YOUR $ TO GO GET SLICKED UP TO IMPRESS OTHER CHICKS, I'd *rather* spend it WITH you spending time w/ you..."(So... all that time making those myths about what a "real man" is... can go hang at burning man and watch those go up too; that community thanks you for it... [& on a side note; $300 wouldn't even get a ticket to that])
What if he asks for money
Do not give it to him at all. Has he? That is a serious red flag. I see this all the time and it turns out the guy is only in a relationship to get the money. If you two break up, there is no official agreement on paper between you so he won’t pay it back. Please don’t do this honey x
Yes he has asked
Please don’t. It will be the biggest mistake of your life, even if you love him- don’t
I gave him $300 already
Well, whoops. You’ll regret that in a couple of years
I don't respect people who ask for money. I'm not sure I've ever asked anyone for money. I don't even ask my own mother for money if I'm in need. To ask someone who isn't family for money is so disrespectful and such a red flag that I absolutely cannot imagine EVER doing that. Run for the hills.
He asked for money for his mortgage
Why did he buy a house if he can't afford to pay the mortgage? Was he recently laid off? Or does he just refuse to get a job? Or does he have a job but he spends too much compared to what he makes?Regardless of the answers to these questions, if he's asking an "18-24 year old" for money for his mortgage, he's got some major problems and I would still say run for the hills.
He has a poor work ethic and doesn’t work more hours at his job so he’s behind on his bills
Don't enable him. If he's not willing to work to pay off the money he's spent, then he's only going to take advantage of you or anyone else willing to enable him. Either stop talking to him completely, or keep him in a friends-only role until he puts in effort to fix his life.I'm not sure how old this guy is but if he is older than you then this is all extra important because if he is older then he should have already learned these things, and should have already been taking steps to fix this. The older someone is, while having these problems, the more of a problem it is.
Okay well that does leave him time to fix his problems, but a 33 year old should not be asking an 18-24 year old for money to pay his mortgage. Also if he ever says he's asking "just this one time," know that such a statement is ALWAYS a lie.
He never says that
Ok. Well I think I have nothing left to comment on with this situation. My opinion remains either don't date him or wait and see if anything changes. Regardless of what you do, good luck to you.
😂😂😂😂 @the photo
He asked me for money though
^then nope. Not worth it.
I agree with night time !!! His view of you is purely just as an atm
Because he asked for money
It's not your responsibility to bring someone up who isn't taking the necessary steps to help themselves. It's like an investment. If you see that they're trying hard and you love them, that's one thing, but it's a bad investment to give money to someone who isn't trying. Maybe that's just the business in me.
If this happens often or it isn’t even a boyfriend of some lengthy time you definitely shouldn’t invest.
What if he has a poor work ethic and he asks me for money for his bills
Then that's not what I'm talking about. Also, explain "poor work ethic" because that term is thrown around so much nowadays there is no consistency.
He doesn’t pick up more hours and he barely goes to work
Ok then. Don't date him. You seem to be convinced about your opinion (which I agree with now based on your claims) so why ask us?
And you are? Like 18?
22 years old
isn't he a bit old for you lolBut anywho. Its not a huge deal. He’s in debt. Whatever lolHow does that effect you?
Like practically everyone is in debtWhen you buy a house
He’s asking me for money constantly for his mortgage and food
Then he’s using you and thats why you shouldn't date himSimple
I thought you said everyone has debt lol?
Yes of course lolBut not everyone makes their girlfriend pay for it lol
He doesn’t make me he asks though
😂Yes thats the same thing make or asks. Obviously if he ‘makes’ you thats a criminal offence haha So yes. Asks you. Thats silly
He’s asking for money
Okay that’s not good. Dose he work at least.
Yes he does
How long have you been seeing him?
Over two years
That not met a guy that’s you have a boyfriend.Okay how much did he ask for?
Will he pay you back in a timely manner, or do you trust him to?
He owes a few people money
So that’s a no.What is he spending all this money on?
Okay so how much does he have left to pay?
I gave him $300 already
I feel at this point he needs a better paying job, and should get to working on that soon. Realistically right now I feel he’s taken advantage enough of those in his life, and most of all you.Do you want to remain with him?
Yes i do
Why do I get the feeling you're being sarcastic?
@Jamie05rhs No idea.
How'd you know she was down $300?
It’s in the comments i gave him $300 already
Teach me to post w/o looking through the whole thread... lol(I'll go look that up and respond there)
Girl, I see that you gave him money. Do you want to date this LOSER or be his MOMMY? He's going to take, take, take until you have nothing left to give then he's gonna say bye bye and move on to the next SUCKER!!!
Amen to that!
@johnny_hustle thsnk you.
What if he asked for a loan?
Don't give it. If he can't handle money you will just lose that money and he will not learn just keep wasting his and others money. And when he can't drain you for more he will dump you to try find someone else willing to support his bad lifestyles.
I didn’t give him a loan but i did give him $300
I already gave him $300
You will probably never get that money back. Please do not lend him more money. Cut him loose. I know you might really like him, but someone who is financially irresponsible is only going to drag you down too. Do not get a joint account with this guy.
Yeah, don't give your partner money. Make them earn their own money. Your relationship should be about love, not about how you can use the other person.
What if he asks for money?
well depends on how much money cause u both are gonna have to pay something eventually and just ask him to pay it back
Well not wanting to judge, I’d find out more info. Could be debt from a divorce, break up, perhaps he’s a high investor and leaves himself little cash. Never know. But still stand behind my comment about if he wants you to pay for everything, that’s totally different
What if he asks for money
To pay his bills? Does he has a job? Or thinks about having one?
To pay his bills?
What if he ask for money
What if he’s asking me for money
dont give it to him tell him you have your own bills to pay or ask him if he wants to pay your bills that will shut him up
I gave him $300 last month he’s asking for $160 now
God don't give him anymore the guy is using you for your money