Guys, Do you expect your wife/girlfriend to serve you food at the dinner table?

[SydneySentinel]

[EmbraceThePain]

No, I definitely wouldn't expect that from the get go. Now, if my woman started making me dinner for years and years to where it is expected, conditioned, or normalized from me, then it might be odd when she suddenly stops or doesn't want to make dinner. I think it's okay for couples in a relationship to assign themselves to certain jobs or tasks that they themselves only do. For example, if the man in the couple usually does the plumbing, manual labor, oil changing, etc. then that is fine, and it would be normal for the woman in this relationship to expect her man to do these things when they need to be done. I'm not the world's best cook, but with practice and dedication, I'm certain I can prepare good meals for the both of us, time permitting. Obviously, if I work a lot and my woman has a more relaxed, unorthodox, or freeing schedule, then it might be more reasonable for her to do certain things as opposed to me, vice versa.

[SEntertainment]

It always made me smile and feel good when she did.
It also made her smile when i got up for seconds, took her plate, asked what she wanted from the kitchen, and served her second plate to her at her seat.

Just treat people how you want to be treated. It's really that simple. If they can't do the same. They probably aren't worth it.

[CherryRoseChampange]

Lol I wouldn't think about it like that, I'd probably serve plates if I had a family. Stuff like that, but overall I think it's weird to expect that. It's just an above and beyond thing honestly.

It can be done but not expected situation.

[EmmaMary]

In my marriage it's a simple case of whoever makes the meal normally serves it.

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHGirl.

[mistixs]

I think it's reasonable to expect this if he's the one providing for all the needs of the household (as he should be). My mom said that if you bring home the bacon, you shouldn't be expected to cook it, too. I agree with that.

[MrOracle]

Totally agree - but only because he's pulling his weight too. If you both work full-time, then those expectations need to be adjusted bigtime.

I had a girl who preferred not to have a regular job, but in return for me supporting us financially, she cooked, cleaned, served, and did whatever she could to make my non-work time easy - and she did that because she felt that if she didn't, she wouldn't be carrying her weight - plus, she preferred to be domestic. That's a totally reasonable split of responsibility, but other equal splits are fine too.

[Exterminatore]

I like this answer. Exactly as things should be.

[mistixs]

@MrOracle Yeah, exactly.

[OlderAndWiser]

No, that was an expectation in my parent's generation but most guys my age are not that chauvinistic.

[Exterminatore]

No, they’re not that chauvinistic. They’re that pussy whipped.

Has nothing to do with chauvinism and everything to do with traditional gender roles.

The husband makes the money. The wife spends it. The husband provides the food. The wife cooks and serves it. the husband does the yard work, the wife the housework. That is fair and equatable. If the husband can’t do his roles, why should the wife do hers? That’s not chauvinism.

I miss men being men and women being women.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Exterminatore The wife serving the man implies that she is subservient to him. Perhaps some people see that as being a traditional gender role; certainly my parents' generation sees it that way. To me, insisting that the wife assume that position is arrogant and condescending. When I have dinner at my mom's and I hear her husband tell her - not ask her - to get up from the dinner table to get him something to drink, I want to put my fist through his face! Of course, I don't actually do that but it is that infuriating to me.

I am not pussy whipped but I want a woman who is an equal partner with me and not a servant who takes orders. While I appreciate traditional gender roles in many ways, I also understand that those roles were developed at a time when women did not work outside of the home. My girlfriend works a full-time job, just as I do, and since we rent a home, there it no yard work to be done. Should I still insist that she come home and do all of the cooking, laundry, cleaning, etc? I think not. As traditional as I am, I also recognize that there are times and circumstances when traditions need to be changed. Do you think that, after dinner, the men should all go in one room to smoke cigars and drink whiskey while the women all go in another room to drink tea and exchange recipes?

[Exterminatore]

Yes and you as a man having a love that is based on self sacrifice is also serving her.

You should not be expected to bring home the bacon and cook it as well.

Women should be subservient to men anyway. It is the natural order of things. Little children see it without having to be brainwashed into thinking that’s not how it should be.

Your parents generation had a lot of things right. That for starters and the knew you can’t invert your penis and claim to be a man. They knew it was abnormal to be gay. The knew they were the authority in the home and children should respect them. They knew a lot of things that apparently are unknown today.

Telling not asking. That’s not ok. I’d be of the opinion he should have to ask. She should see his glass is empty and get him a refill. You see... feminists have indoctrinated this into a women serving men situation. In reality men serve women far more as the way we love them is a sacrificial form of love. So... women can get our refills. It’s right and proper to expect this when the man actually acts like one and is good to her and faithful and provides as he ought to.

See to me if you want equality that’s pussy whipped. It’s brainwashing. We’re not equal in the first place despite how much we say it. So when you do what you were designed to do, she ought to do what she was designed to. Which is harder? Doing dishes or shoveling snow? Refilling your drink or cleaning out gutters? See what i mean? Her filling your glass is nothing. However if she’s out there pushing a lawnmower... get your own water. You’re acting like the woman at that point and should be treated as such.

I don’t think they “should” do those things, but I think life was better when we used to do those things. I don’t think it’s a mandate, but I miss those times.

[Exterminatore]

So we’ve managed as a society to all chuckle about doing the honeydoo’s. About saying “yes dear, yes dear” when she wants something... but somehow it’s a crime against nature to expect a woman to serve a man. More properly a wife her husband. It’s just so degrading how dare we!! See what I’m mean? That’s awfully imbalanced. We laugh and joke about men serving women as infact they ought to but in a different way, yet women serving men is the injustice of the century! That’s just plain retarded to me.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Exterminatore No, I don't see what you mean because my girlfriend has a full time job. She brings home the bacon, also.

[Exterminatore]

She’s also your girlfriend and not your wife. If she has a full time job that’s different.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Exterminatore Yes, that's what I said 45 minutes ago.

[Exterminatore]

Well then either of us have nothing else to say on the matter so I guess we can put a fork in this one.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Exterminatore 10-4

[coachTanthony]

Hell No !! Get your ass in the bedroom with a proper tray! :+)-

[OlderAndWiser]

Fortunately, most of us understand your sense of humor! But you might want to have a few armed guards for the next few days in case the feminazis send a hit squad looking for you! :) :) :)

[coachTanthony]

@OlderAndWiser I added the smiley face man just for them! Ha

[OlderAndWiser]

Your smiley face did not come through for me. Okay, you are saved by the emoticon or whatever it is called.

[SydneySentinel]

The bedroom actually sounds like a preferable place to serve your SO. The feminazis don't know what they're missing!

[Apple1996]

I sometimes do it for my husband

[alex_x988]

And other times?

[Apple1996]

@alex_x988 he gets his own shit

[alex_x988]

You don't love him

[Apple1996]

@alex_x988 lol and you can tell that because I only give him food sometimes?😂

[alex_x988]

If he wants you to then that's not respect

[Apple1996]

@alex_x988 why would he want me to? I just do it without him saying anything

[Dongtai]

I cook my own food. I’m pretty sure I’ll be designated cook once I marry. I like making my own food, it taste great and saves me money. I’m the type of guy that will come home and make myself a meal if I’m hungry and before I do, I’d look to her while she’s watching tv or reading (or whatever my future wife is into) and ask her if she ate. If she says no I’ll cook her something too. And once I have kids I’ll definitely be making sure they’re eating breakfast, lunch and dinner so cooking would become routine.

Come to think of it I don’t think I’ve ever been with a girl who “cooked” for me. I know I’ve been invited to family dinner. My ex’s sister made us dinner too but she was a culinary student and my ex couldn’t cook. But I’ve cooked for most of the girls I’ve been with. If they spent the night or if I spent the night with them, I usually made them breakfast. I’ve made dinners for date nights.

The thought of a girl serving me has never crossed my mind until now. Don’t get me wrong I’ve met some pretty cool women. I’ve gotten gifts, invited to family get togethers, holidays, etc. But as far as meals go, I’m usually the one cooking.

I’ve never expected girls to “serve” me. That just has never been an attitude I adopted. If she cooks for me without me asking it’s a bonus. Everyone likes a thoughtful person. But if she didn’t like cooking or couldn’t cook I wouldn’t be like, “Well what good are you if you’re not in the kitchen?” I’m grown. I can make my own meals. But she definitely wouldn’t make it a habit of taking our kids out to eat

[MrLogical]

I don't cook, because it makes me anxious and frustrated and jittery because of the stress it causes me trying to cook. I ruin everything I try to make without fail. Because of this, my fiancee cooks everything for me. But I do not ever expect her to make my plate for me, but I do ask if I'm doing something (like reading her a book and wanting to get to a stopping point if I can't before she gets done cooking.)

Is that unreasonable?

[SydneySentinel]

I pretty much have felt that way about cooking for a long time. But I'm better now

[jmzero]

Not in the way this question puts it.

I love to cook for my lady, I feel it's one of the ways I can show her how special she is to me. But I also like to be treated with the same care as well.
I'm Also a little old fashioned and do eat dinner at the table between 5 and 8 each night when life allows.
So I prefer we trade off , but I usually cook more since I actually enjoy seeing what reaction I give her with different dishes ^.^

[MikeAndMolly]

I typically cook and never expect her to just do it. Even if she takes time off work to raise our kids someday, I don't expect her to make food for me regularly or anything. We take care of each other.

It's nice every once in a while to just have food brought to me without thinking about it, but usually we help each other prepare food or I just do it.

[SjE78]

nope never have even when i was working long nights etc, relationships are about give and take and each one where we both cooked I mostly cooked, but whenever they I got up and got my own food from the side or they passed it me or i passed them theirs

[TreelonMusk]

Cook or serve?

I cook and I expect my girlfriend to cook too unless we agree that I'm doing all of the cooking.

As for serving my plate to me like a waiter... Not necessary. It's nice if she does, and it shows extra effort and kindness, so I'm not going to say no either.

[lightbulb27]

expect, of course not. Interesting in that my mother did that for my family and that was th emodel, she served my dad as mom was home and he worked. But... my GF's in general worked, other than when they were out of work, and I don't expect her to wear all those hats. I like working along with either she cooks and I cleanup or reverse, team work.

[Reaperbot666]

I do not expect or require any former or future spouse. To set the table, service me meals or other meals, prepare meals or cook meals. That being said I do hope they at least have the ability to do so when asked to. Because I believe all people should have basic life skills. Provide they are physically and mentally able to perform them.

[Reaperbot666]

Just noticed that it might sound a bit confusing.

[TonyBologna25]

If I’m paying for all the shit, then yes. If I cover mortgage, food, utilities, then you can get your lazy ass up and make me a sandwich without getting all offended.

Honestly, every woman I’ve ever seriously dated has always had no issues cooking and organizing my things around the house. Nurture is a very attractive quality in a woman, and if the women I want to date want to do that for me, then why would I want anyone else who refuses to?

[AndrewMG]

I've usually been the better cook so I tend to serve it, thats not bigging up my cooking skills (though I'd say I'm just slightly better than competent but very, very average lol), In fact the first girl I dated when I moved away from home (went to Uni) I'm pretty certain mainly went out with me as a cooking arrangement, she paid for the ingredients and I cooked the food... there's a metaphor for my life somewhere in there lol

[Massageman]

It beats having her serve it on the driveway.

Seriously,
I do most of the cooking when we are together, so it's pretty much of a mash-up.
I'll load the dishwasher with "regular " plates, and she'/ll hand wash the odd items and plasticware.
When our schedule do not coincide, it's everyone for themselves.

[Mixedlove21]

I mean if he’s doing his part in the relationship why not? He deserves to get served it’s a little simple luxury of making them feel good everyday... I like doing it... but if he doesn’t do anything then no.

[KacchanExplosion]

If I did I'd be unhappy in this relationship I'm in now because I do most of the cooking and she does it every hear and there. But I love to cook so I like where I am. I make stuff she's never had before and sometimes they're good sometimes they're... less good. But a man shouldn't expect things to be done for them unless there is an agreement of some sort. Me personally I'll cook for my lady no complaints If she doesn't cook. But sometimes I'll ask her to cook so i can take a break

[centerline]

No... im a big boy and I can serve myself.
but sometimes she does, and sometimes I will serve her... it depends on the circumstances at the time, but normally I dont want help getting the food I want on my plate.

[Dazed0N0Confused]

My SO doesn't live with me, but normally I'm off Thursday and Friday and he'll come over after work on Thursday and I'll cook dinner and serve him, its the only day I get to treat him to a home cooked meal, so I don't mind doing it for him 😊

[SkipStop]

If I had one and she spent most of her time home rather than work then yes. Plus, why not do something that any person would appreciate? Can I make my own food? Sure. I do it almost everyday. But it would be wonderful if I could come home with food on the table every once in a while.