How do I politely reject guys when I have a boyfriend?

[cgthompson]

I'm a people-pleaser and feel bad rejecting guys even though I have a boyfriend because I don't want to hurt their feelings. I usually get their numbers and text them that I'm 16 (the boyfriend excuse doesn't always work- scummy guys exist), and then I block them. I want to be more upfront with people because constantly pleasing everyone is stressful and complicated. How do I politely reject guys?

Updates

+1 y

Guys- what is the least hurtful way to get rejected?

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Just adopt a 'neutral' voice tone and body language, and say "thanks but not thanks". If it's a polite shy guy who worked up the nerve to approach you, maybe don't get aggressive and scar him for life lol. But if it's a narcissistic player, then anything less than a hard rejection could be seen as an invite to "change your mind". You just gotta read the situation and not give in to strong emotions either positive or negative. Think of a business meeting with your boss and coworkers present, you would be cordial and direct and unemotional. Strong emotions in a woman can give guys the impression she's more pliable to influence-- if you keep calm and kinda detached and just say "no thanks" in a flat, definitive way, then they'll just assume you're "cold" and move onto someone more receptive.

[Effably]

Politely and firmly. Do need to stress the firm bit.
Boyfriend excuse should work with that in mind. "I am not interested. I have a boyfriend. But thanks, this was flattering!". The ending there is more or less meant to close it in a polite and benign way.

[Horror_lover]

I'm the same way. I will just say, " sorry I have a boyfriend " ( which is true ) and if that doesn't work I will leave or if the guy message me on IG or Facebook I will ignore the messages and block the person. Except for this one guy, I ended up helping him find someone else.

[cgthompson]

That’s a good way to handle the situation. I’m too scared of being mean so I always reply with a “thanks” on social media. What do guys usually do after you’re firm with them?

[Horror_lover]

I hated thinking that I'm being mean because I know it's hard to go up to someone or message them.
Some will keep trying and I will apologize and just block them. The only reason I helped someone out was because he reminded me of my boyfriend he had a hard time finding someone because of his disabilities. So I decided to be his friend even though I kept telling him no lol after the 10th time he finally stopped. Some will not give up unless you end up getting mean. It shouldn't have to be like that but if they won't leave you alone and won't respect your relationship you will have to get mean. This one guy sent me a di*k pic even though he knew I had a boyfriend and I literally cussed him out because it was totally disrespectful.

[cgthompson]

That was really nice of you to help him! Guys who send unsolicited dick pics are scum tbh and good on you for cussing him out.

[Randomawkwardness]

Just say oh haha thanks and never actually follow up on it. Don't give your number out and don't say you'll text them. If they persist, just say you're not looking for a relationship because of your age or even list your boyfriend as a reason.

[btbc92]

Rejection always hurts. You can't do anything about that.

[SongBird3]

Just say “thank you hut im not interested”
Or just say ur gay

[cgthompson]

I truly might start saying that I’m gay to people that’s a good idea

[Effably]

Me and a few friends of mine have a whole gay routine we pull out sometimes if we want to let someome down super easy! Complete with us wingman-ing to help them find someone! It can be loads of fun. A little awkward if you meet again though.

[cgthompson]

@Effably That's genius I should try that! Lmao have you encountered the same person twice?

[Effably]

I have! Unfortunately! But its still worth it. Getting to play matchmaker for someone else who likes you, especially opposite gender, isn't only fun but also a major learning experience!

[Keyarose]

Tell then you have aids, or an STD. Tell them something really nasty about you, I bet you they'll leave you alone.

[daisy56]

I just say I’ve got a boyfriend or just ignore them/don’t text them tbh since they should be able to move on from it

[Frankiealaplaaja]

Ah, yes:
Some guys, especially the younger ones, require absolute bluntness for them to get the picture. Don't be afraid to step on some toes for your own peace of mind if need be.

[Hamsteroids]

Just say “sorry I have a boyfriend”. You’ll learn to say it with ease as time goes on

[Unit1]

"I have a boyfriend but I thank you still for the offer!"

[Yammy]

Maybe text them that you're not interested in anything but a platonic relationship and apologize that you can't reciprocate their feelings?

[chirping]

Say you're a lesbian

[jasco]

just say i am sorry