Is it a bad thing if you're so used to other people or situations letting you down, that you're used to being disappointed? Why or why not?
By disappointment, I mean situations involving: dating, relationships, work, family and friends, or life in general... where something didn't work out in your favor. Yet you get to the point where it no longer surprises or upsets you.
It is a bad thing if you're used to being disappointed?
your name is so perfect for how you seem to feel... that's valuable that... clarity of self. That is a self defense mechanism, which I think ensures failure which helps to avoid being vulnerable and hurt again. I'd like to know what wounded that little girls sense of self security and esteem. Find it, release the prisoner... she doesn't deserve her jail cell.
To put it in sitcom ski format... take the first Bumble date: Her: Oh hi there [beaming smile, wearing her first date best], so good to finally meet you in person after all those texts!! Him: [shakes hand and smiles in kind] hey there, I know, so awsome. Hey look... I just want to be up front that I don't have high expectations on this, just being fair to us both ya, know. I doubt it's gonna work, but thought.. heck.. why not, she seems nice enough, ya know how I feel? Her: <what is her emotional response>? yea...
So the answer is of course, yes it's a problem. BUT... I think it is healthy to go in with no expectations or low expectations and just enjoy the experience and person and time. That is taking away all the future expectation and all the baggage from past hurts away from this person and focusing on them and how you feel.
I seriously doubt that dogs have this problem because they don't think as hard as us.
It can definitely colour your opinions of other people for the worst, sometimes.
I think it's a good compromise to hope for the best out of people, but expect the worst.
This way, you're not disappointed and you'll have made contingencies, but you also will have a certain appreciatation of the other person if they do meet your hopes.
Only bad if you anticipate disappointment before it happens. You cheat yourself out of enjoying things always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm more of a hope for the best, plan for the worst type, except I'm a flake and never plan for the worst lol.
We're brought up by society to think that pitfalls and disappointments are somehow related to some wrong we've committed. Then as you get older and you get tired of bad shit happening and you're 💯 certain that you've paid back your karma debt 10 fold. Then life continues to dump on you, you come to the realization that everyone who taught you, mentored you or otherwise guided you in life is a FUCKING LIAR or an IDIOT. Either way, playing by the rules, working hard, and staying the course only guarantees 1 thing. Most of you probably aren't ready to hear this so click out now. Given enough time Honesty, hard work, and integrity can only result in 2 possible outcomes. Exploitation or Death. Google "great humanitarians" and report back how they checked out at their end of days.
Tell me all about it. You just described me. if anything a change of it would be surprising to me. A woman finally becoming my girlfriend? Now that is an unexpected miracle!
It is a good thing , if anything , as it is a bonus when you are NOT disappointed. I consider my very detached , fiercely independent nature to be a huge blessing , with the loss of my Male Curse ( sex drive ) as an even bigger blessing , esp being a single dad.
I think it depends. It's just that some of us have it worse than others. Feels like you get stuck in a void of crappy things happening. But for me I always start off the day with a smile. I hope it lasts all day and more. Then there's other days bad stuff seem to cone out of nowhere, and we break our heads figuring out why it happens.. Is it me that's attracting it, is it just happening like that? Also for me the good moments are treasured and appreciated way more than regular people lol. So the dark side, helps the light shine brighter!
No, it means I've been disappointed far too much by people and situations in my life. So I'm learning to just accept that people, and life, will disappoint you.
Friends will disappoint you, family will disappoint you, work will disappoint you, and even activities you once thought you really enjoyed. Life gets tasteless and boring without control.
I'm the same as you, nothing seems to work in my favour that I literally don't get disappointed about things anymore I just accept it cause I expect it. I actually don't think it's a bad thing cause I don't give it a second thought compared to other people.
Yes. If you get used to and expect disappointment in your relationships, you make it harder to spot mistreatment. And frankly everyone deserves better than that!
I like helping people. It makes me feel good so I don't usually go into a situation expecting anything in my favor and I don't ask for anything. Of course there has been times when helping someone they go and bite the hand that feeds them and usually I'll cut them lose. Generally though I don't give them a chance to take too big of a bite.
I got used to it thanks to my business... I call it realism 1% of the time something great happens i. e. a deal that makes 2-20 times your outlay but most of the time what glitters isn't gold (took me a lot of mistakes and hundreds of wasted pounds before I started to look closely)
It could be seen as a bad thing, but I think a healthy dose of cynicism is good. I have said myself "a pessimist is never disappointing". Although I also like to think "hope for the best but expect the worst".
It's not a bad thing. It means you have matured or got stronger. In in the same boat. You get used to all the bad things it just doesn't effect you. Its like "yeah I figured as much"
It's actually a good thing cuz you're prepared. Investing feelings into a relationship makes you vulnerable and that gives them the power to hurt you. If you're used to being disappointed, you won't invest any feelings and that makes you immune to anything they might try which means you win the bloodless war called "relationship".
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