It is a bad thing if you're used to being disappointed?

Question

Is it a bad thing if you're so used to other people or situations letting you down, that you're used to being disappointed? Why or why not?

By disappointment, I mean situations involving: dating, relationships, work, family and friends, or life in general... where something didn't work out in your favor.
Yet you get to the point where it no longer surprises or upsets you.

It is a bad thing if youre used to being disappointed?

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

your name is so perfect for how you seem to feel... that's valuable that... clarity of self.
That is a self defense mechanism, which I think ensures failure which helps to avoid being vulnerable and hurt again. I'd like to know what wounded that little girls sense of self security and esteem. Find it, release the prisoner... she doesn't deserve her jail cell.

To put it in sitcom ski format... take the first Bumble date:
Her: Oh hi there [beaming smile, wearing her first date best], so good to finally meet you in person after all those texts!!
Him: [shakes hand and smiles in kind] hey there, I know, so awsome. Hey look... I just want to be up front that I don't have high expectations on this, just being fair to us both ya, know. I doubt it's gonna work, but thought.. heck.. why not, she seems nice enough, ya know how I feel?
Her: <what is her emotional response>? yea...

So the answer is of course, yes it's a problem. BUT... I think it is healthy to go in with no expectations or low expectations and just enjoy the experience and person and time. That is taking away all the future expectation and all the baggage from past hurts away from this person and focusing on them and how you feel.

I seriously doubt that dogs have this problem because they don't think as hard as us.

coachTanthony · Accepted Answer

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

SpacedCharr · Accepted Answer

It can definitely colour your opinions of other people for the worst, sometimes.

I think it's a good compromise to hope for the best out of people, but expect the worst.

This way, you're not disappointed and you'll have made contingencies, but you also will have a certain appreciatation of the other person if they do meet your hopes.

DorkVader · Accepted Answer

Only bad if you anticipate disappointment before it happens. You cheat yourself out of enjoying things always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm more of a hope for the best, plan for the worst type, except I'm a flake and never plan for the worst lol.

AlphaBot · Answer

We're brought up by society to think that pitfalls and disappointments are somehow related to some wrong we've committed. Then as you get older and you get tired of bad shit happening and you're 💯 certain that you've paid back your karma debt 10 fold. Then life continues to dump on you, you come to the realization that everyone who taught you, mentored you or otherwise guided you in life is a FUCKING LIAR or an IDIOT. Either way, playing by the rules, working hard, and staying the course only guarantees 1 thing. Most of you probably aren't ready to hear this so click out now. Given enough time Honesty, hard work, and integrity can only result in 2 possible outcomes. Exploitation or Death. Google "great humanitarians" and report back how they checked out at their end of days.

Unit1 · Answer

Tell me all about it. You just described me.  if anything a change of it would be surprising to me. A woman finally becoming my girlfriend? Now  that  is an unexpected miracle!  you're all good!

Jjpayne · Answer

I suppose it's helpful to have lower expectations but it's a good thing to still have hope too. It's a balance...

FatherJack · Answer

It is a good thing , if anything , as it is a bonus when you are NOT disappointed. I consider my very detached , fiercely independent nature to be a huge blessing , with the loss of my Male Curse ( sex drive ) as an even bigger blessing , esp being a single dad.

Paul09 · Answer

I think it depends. It's just that some of us have it worse than others. Feels like you get stuck in a void of crappy things happening. But for me I always start off the day with a smile. I hope it lasts all day and more. Then there's other days bad stuff seem to cone out of nowhere, and we break our heads figuring out why it happens.. Is it me that's attracting it, is it just happening like that? Also for me the good moments are treasured and appreciated way more than regular people lol. So the dark side, helps the light shine brighter!

ZELLxoxo · Answer

It just means you are a very jaded person. Fed up with life.  You should try to be more positive.

Ninjazzed · Answer

Shit happens, that’s life.

Friends will disappoint you, family will disappoint you, work will disappoint you, and even activities you once thought you really enjoyed. Life gets tasteless and boring without control.

AreWeHuman · Answer

I'm the same as you, nothing seems to work in my favour that I literally don't get disappointed about things anymore I just accept it cause I expect it.
I actually don't think it's a bad thing cause I don't give it a second thought compared to other people.

EleanorRigby · Answer

It's only bad because it means you've been disapointed a lot before.

MorticiAddams · Answer

Yes. If you get used to and expect disappointment in your relationships, you make it harder to spot mistreatment. And frankly everyone deserves better than that!

broken_heart_at_48 · Answer

I like helping people. It makes me feel good so I don't usually go into a situation expecting anything in my favor and I don't ask for anything. Of course there has been times when helping someone they go and bite the hand that feeds them and usually I'll cut them lose. Generally though I don't give them a chance to take too big of a bite.

jamesgoldman · Answer

I got used to it thanks to my business... I call it realism
1% of the time something great happens i. e. a deal that makes 2-20 times your outlay but most of the time what glitters isn't gold (took me a lot of mistakes and hundreds of wasted pounds before I started to look closely)

Scarecrow13 · Answer

It could be seen as a bad thing, but I think a healthy dose of cynicism is good. I have said myself "a pessimist is never disappointing". Although I also like to think "hope for the best but expect the worst".

Liam_Hayden · Answer

I'm rarely disappointed by people because I expect very little of others.

JSmuve · Answer

Nah, it's better to have low expectations and be pleasantly surprised than have high expectations and be perpetually disappointed.

Avicenna · Answer

There are different ways of looking at it. You could variously be viewed as cynical, realistic, or having low-esteem, to give just three.

Ally247 · Answer

No, I'd say it makes you stronger, and more appreciative when you're not disappointed.

lookin64 · Answer

Life in general is pretty good its those circumstances that throw you for a loop. They are just opportunities to learn and to grow.

snappysierra · Answer

It's not a bad thing. It means you have matured or got stronger. In in the same boat. You get used to all the bad things it just doesn't effect you. Its like "yeah I figured as much"

Valso · Answer

It's actually a good thing cuz you're prepared. Investing feelings into a relationship makes you vulnerable and that gives them the power to hurt you. If you're used to being disappointed, you won't invest any feelings and that makes you immune to anything they might try which means you win the bloodless war called "relationship".

Rosegold020 · Answer

Nah just teaches you not to really rely on anyone but yourself.

ShadowofRegret · Answer

I have often heard that it is better to have low expectations so that if it is as you expected, it is not a surprise, but if it is higher than expected, it makes it even better.

I think it is wise to not let one's expectations get too high.

DanOh2018 · Answer

Reminds me if one Christmas where he tried to pull the whole car keys as Christmas present, toy car out front GaG on me. But it only has the chance to be funny in a family where the child could actually imagine something genuinely nice being done for them.

hollowo · Answer

I would consider it bad if it makes one feel nothing as if they hollow. If that aids to accumulation of them emotions that would be worse as it makes one a volcano, which when bursts gets them all them things out and it gets tough at those times.

Juxtapose · Answer

Disappointment comes from expectations not being met. Relinquish your expectations when possible. Just enjoy the ride.

CTexpress · Answer

Disappointment is part of life but it's not about the fall it's how you get up that defines you

Sophieluv · Answer

Yes because u expect to much from others unless u are told to expect something like a date to show up then cancels at the last minute because of missed information. That's also a sign that they don't pay attention to detail that is important for the date or wanting a date

FunkyMonkee · Answer

My life has never failed to disappoint me, yet!! And it just keeps getting worse and worse every year!!

soleil2666 · Answer

100% yes
Get unused from it! Dream something up and make it happen (by excluding whoever in your life uses you as a victim - usually a brother or a sister that need to feel better by making you a cynical loser)

NeoWraythe · Answer

Yes it is bad but it is not unusual to get to that point. It means that you are in the wrong spot, looking for the wrong type of people to date, have the wrong type of friends, let family do things they shouldn't, etc.

AynonOMouse · Answer

I've been used to it for a long time. I'm actually pretty surprised when something good happens for me in life.

ChiTown33 · Answer

I think it's only bad if you close yourself off to new experiences because of the past. As we get older we tend to so this. It's understandable, but fight it.

Dystopian · Answer

I'm not used to being disappointed. I'm used to completely being screwed over, to have life stick it so far up your ass you can feel it in your throat...  I so fucking hate my life right now.

Dark93 · Answer

Speaking from personal experience, I think it is very bad. If you're used to being disappointed you can't enjoy the little good things that happen everyday because your mind automatically locks onto the bad things.

Jltakk · Answer

Ehh, its bad, sure. It just shows that you've been let down a lot like I have.

coolbreeze · Answer

I try to look at dissapointnent as a learning experience.

irielion82 · Answer

Yes and unfortunately people dont even realize how disappointed they are bbn or should be

GrunchyMonkee · Answer

Determine what your expectations are, which one were priority and if they realistic/unrealistic.

pigoat · Answer

My psychologist told me you don't need anyone else to be happy Do things by yourself and be happy and satisfied with it

kill_joy69 · Answer

Well obviously it is you should never get used to being disappointed in yourself or other people the next step after that is depression and nobody wants depression except 12yo emo kids

Slim57 · Answer

I'd say so, but life can be disappointing so oh well

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Not at all. Then you delight when someone comes through. Makes you appreciate them all the more. The world is filled with flaky bastards.

bklynbadboy1 · Answer

Yeah that's a badd thing and you get accustomed to something negative that's very glad you have to do some the change then change of perception because if not you'll be disappointed always

OddBeMe · Answer

This sounds like a frame of mind. Edison said he never failed, he just found 2000 ways not to make a lightbulb.  Disappointment is an emotion that can be useful. But too much can be depressing.

oliverofjones · Answer

Pray for the best but expect the worst. Words to live by.

hahaimconfused · Answer

I’m gonna say no. In this day and age I kinda feel like everyone will disappoint you eventually, so it’s just better if you’re already expecting it. Or at least prepared for it. That way when it happens it’s not you who’s hurt. Protect your peacee✌🏽

YHL6965 · Answer

It's nihilistic in a way, which is a valid form of defense, but it does not let you enjoy life as much as accepting disappointment.

Snickermarstwix · Answer

Expectation create disappointment. How can you enjoy a very good situation if you asked it something nearly impossible to do?

Junen · Answer

Lowers your expectations accordingly. I'm not saying expect nothing, but the world doesn't really owe u anything.

ItsDave101010 · Answer

Disappointment is a lie, there are obstacles that you have to adapt to nothing never goes as planned.

Lance1965 · Answer

I always fear the worst so that makes the good things so much better.

Fantastical · Answer

Yep, I’m not sure at what point I gave up trying, but at a certain point I just said to heck with it.

Anonymous · Answer

If it happens too much, have you ever considered that maybe your expectations are either too high or even unreasonable?

Budvizer · Answer

It's bad but eventually you just accept it and live by this saying "It is what it is."

cice411 · Answer

I'm always disappointed, post basically describes me

BoHill80 · Answer

I'm use to it cause seems like I'm not gud enough are cnt please them enough. Butt I try my best at everything I do

Anonymous · Answer

Bad that people have let you down so often, but good Bc then you have low expectations.

TylerR · Answer

Either you're right or pleasantly surprised

TheLawAroundHere · Answer

When I was 4, my grandfather gave soundeammmlk

Manuel2 · Answer

It saves your mental health

It is a bad thing if you're used to being disappointed?

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