Is it stupid to break up with your boyfriend because he is too nice to his female friends?

[Anonymous]

Okay, I know I sound crazy from the title alone, but hear me out.
I am 20, he is 23. He is my first boyfriend. When we met we hit it off right away and rushed into a relationship, so I wasn't to familiar with his friends a lot. I knew he had female friends and it didn't bother me. He was amazing to me. But as the time went by, I realized that all the small things he does for me (cute nicknames, flirting, helping out, paying for food, cute meaningful gifts, texting good morning/night etc.) that I considered really special and part of our intimacy, he does with many of his female friends too. I would feel a lot different if he did that with his male friends too, but he doesn't.
I have talked to him about it and he says he is just that kind of person, raised to rescpect women in that manner.

Of course, I don't think he should treat his female friends as shit, hopefully no one thinks that. But this just seems like way out of just being nice, because there is no real need for that much niceness and caring.
This is making me extremely uncomfortable and I feel as if I were only a friend to him, a friend that he gets to have sex with.

[Madhatter920]

Well, I can only speak for myself, but I was raised in much the same way. There's a way you behave with guys and a way you behave with girls. You're much more kind and respectful toward girls. So to answer you original question, yes, I think it would be a bit over dramatic to break up with him just because he's acting like a gentleman at all times instead of just towards you. I'm also the kind of person who gets jealous, so I see where you're coming from, but I still think that's a bit much. As far as the last bit you said, isn't that what everyone wants? To be in a relationship with someone they can also be friends with? That sounds awesome to me.

[Asker]

In my opinion romantic relationship is not just friendship and sex, I think there's the 3rd element, just different type of connection that then shows in treating your SO different than your friends of the same gender.
My partner is just a lot more special to me than my male friends are.
I am also nice and helpful to my male friends, and they are to me, but we don't think feel the need to text goodnight every day.

[Asker]

I still appreciate your advice tho.

I think I am oretty much decided on the subject, me and him obviously have different views on the topic and I am just bothered too much.

[Madhatter920]

Well I'm at least glad you found an answer you can be happy with. :) But to your response; I suppose I didn't articulate well, but I didn't mean to say that being friends is all there is to being in a relationship, I only meant to say that many relationships fail because they aren't. I agree that there is a third factor when it comes to love: Trust. You trust that person more than you would a friend. That they will do right by you and be there for you, even in trying circumstances. If you can't trust who you're with, or they cannot bring themselves to trust you, then of course the relationship can't succeed. Anyway, at least everything got sorted out. :)

[markscott]

Every girl wants her guy to treat her is some ways that are special to her. With that lacking, it makes is difficult for her to feel loved and special to him. This is something that he apparently doesn't understand.

[Asker]

I generally really respect your opinions here on G@G, so I am glad you responded to this question, I really appreciate your opinion and understanding.

[pinky_kitty]

no i can't do that, I'll talk to him first and explain why i feel angry about how he acting to her and i know we can find a way to make it work but the breakup never be my first choice

[Asker]

I did talk already and nothing changed.

[Countrywildmangirl]

According to my boyfriend u don't need to put up with that shit

[Asker]

Thanks for another insight, to both of you.

[Countrywildmangirl]

Your welcome

[rockrewls]

This sounds like a little bit of jealousy, but I understand where you are coming from as well, it's just him treating the ladies well, be thankful it's can be a good indicator for how he will treat you in the years ahead.
If he was carrying it further then that then that would be different.

[Asker]

Thanks!

[blutwolfe]

Nah that's normal I feel like, reverse the scenario, if you were like that with every guy, he would lose his shit.

I don't play with those games, nice people are nice to everyone, not just girls, that's some fukboi shit in my opinion.

[Asker]

Thanks!

[moststrangestguy]

I am exactly like him... Exactly females. Don't like nice guys... He will get dumped soon and i feel because i understand him

[Asker]

Women like guys who are nice to everyone not just other women.

[markscott]

mosts: The problem is not that he is a nice guy, or that he treats all girls in a nice way, but that he doesn't treat HIS girl in any special way. In effect, he's is not such a nice guy to his girl, if he doesn't treat he special in some ways.