Daddy Issues with My Teacher, what Should I Do?

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a mostly fatherless home so it makes sense that I would have this problem. For the most part I’ve been fine, but I grew attached to my teacher. He’s always really nice to me and cares about my interests, which is new for me since I never really had any hobbies until I joined his class (debate). He always compliments my intellect and skill, which I think is what got me attached in the first place, but this isn’t okay. I’m going to end up hurt if I keep accepting him as a father figure, and I brought all this up to him; he agreed. I’ve tried distancing myself from him but it seems to make it worse. I’ve caught myself always wanting his attention, which I don’t like at all. What can I do to help myself let go of him or create a healthy relationship between us?

[Anonymous]

I was in a similar situation except I had both of my parents and I never felt infatuated by a teacher. My mother, to keep it short, was definitely unfit to be one. She had massive anger issues and was not afraid to be violent when she sees I am trying to stand up to her (She is much better now in comparison but she does have her arbitrary outbursts every now and then). She pretty much has me, my sister and my father at her own mercy.

I went to college and I was finally free from her grasp (but I was terrified to go back after the first year ended), I found the sweetest girl I have ever met and she was in love with me (something my mother told me countless times would never happen) and I fell HARD.

I was so scared of upsetting her and she didn’t truly believe me about my mother until she witnessed her rage for the first time (not to her but I recorded one of my encounters with her).

After a year of my clinginess and my mother’s drama constantly telling me how I am a horrible boyfriend with no valid proof to back herself up, she left. After that, I just wanted to be alone even years after she left, except for very few individuals but most of my friends were scratched off and I hate it.

Please get help or do something. I don’t want you to suffer the same fate.

[markscott]

You can branch out and find other interests, and also find friendship and acceptance other places. It sounds like you have a weakness for older males, and this may be the case for similar age males as well. So be extra careful who you let yourself get attached to, that they guy is decent and will treat you well. Look below the surface stuff, before letting yourself get attached. And again, if you find fulfillment in yourself, helping others, doing the things that give you self esteem and purpose, you will be less in need to attach to a guy. I'm not saying don't be attached to a guy, but try to be attached because you like the guy and he's good to you, not because you need him or have an immediate strong attraction to him.

[SueShe]

You realize that you are on a slippery path because what you are describing is some kind of infatuation with your teacher and that can only lead to disappointment.

You hang on to him like on a lifeline or buoy but you know that sooner or later you will have to leave his class.

You need to keep a safe and healthy distance between yourself and him. The best solution would be to change class if you can or even to change school to avoid gossip and possible issues with your peers. They are not blind and realize that you have a special treatment. Your teacher knows that too and he should have changed his approach with you and treat you the same way he does the other female students.

This is not a healthy situation because the longer you stay in his class and the longer you see him, the more the separation will hurt you. You need to take your distance.

[SexyAshh]

If your both consenting, sleep with him.

But if you care about him, dont. you're underage and will fkk his entire life up.

[Levin]

You know a lot of the forces at work. So that should help you. That the same dynamics are being born with men. Namely desperately vying for attention and to be cared for by a man. This is so sad, that you never had that. So you should definitely try and be kind to yourself. The fact that you can see this is what is happening shows a lot of maturity. Don't be hard on yourself.

In the mean time, my best advice is to chill out to some RHCP. Just... ignore the old, father-figure men there...

https://www.youtube.com/embed/Q0oIoR9mLwc

[broken_heart_at_48]

You need to deal with your issues of not having a father in your life. A girl needs her father so it's understandable but I believe you need to seek therapy with a professional. Choosing the right therapist is extremely important you need one that preferably has personally experienced this themselves and have come through it with a level and healthy head or at least one that's help others with the same type of issues. Now with your teacher I would suggest transferring out of the class because this could be something that some other kid could possibly recognize and blow it out of proportion and ruin the man's career

[tony1970]

There's nothing wrong with you you just really need to talk to someone thats knowledgeable in this area and isn't associated with it defiantly make sure it doesn't cross the line and he doesn't use this to his advantage for inappropriate situations be careful with your situation

[Massageman]

If there is another section of the same class, move to it.

Read "Boundaries" and implement it!

Learn your Boundaries.

[soleil2666]

I never understood this silly demand not to ever get hurt. You don't learn except by getting hurt - and when something or someone attracts you, it does so for a reason - according to me, you are meant to go with it. Not get crazy, think along the way for sure - but not keep being the avoidant personality type. You can only avoid yourself for so long without causing yourself metal health issues. Hurt is natural. And risk =/= hurt.

[Texaskid1]

He is your teacher not your dad. You seem lime you have a crush on him. Find a boy your age. Understand that you will have to leave his class at the end of the year.

[Laozi]

Find a boy amd get in relationship. May be that's what you need. Or find some hobby. That can divert your mind from this situation.

[Avicenna]

Get a boyfriend and keep things professional with your teacher.

[jimmy2]

Well God bless you first. I not sure how old you are so i think trying later in life to date older men

[ecfresh]

What advice did your mom give you?

[Iron_Man]

Don't get involved