Is attractiveness REALLY subjective?

Question

I am sure all of us have heard this countless times - "Attractiveness is subjective, there are over 7 billion people in the world and definitely someone finds you attractive".

Well, it isn't really practical to consider 7 billion people, because no one would have access to even a small fraction of those anyway.

In my opinion, if someone is single for a long time and it isn't by choice, it means hardly anyone finds them attractive (not just looks, but the person as a whole) enough to be with them.

P. S. I am referring to attractiveness as the whole package here, and it is not just about looks.

rjroy3 · Accepted Answer

Yes and no. Some things are universal. Other things (the subjective part) are really more about to what percentage or tilt.

For example. Sense of humor. Having a sense if humor is universally attractive. What kind of sense of humor you find funny is subjective. And since most people aren't high level comics who get to the point of most people finding them hilarious it is largely a subjective factor. Being light hearted and having a sense of humor to round you out is universal tho. Just dont be so up tight.

Being in good shape is universally attractive. Even if a girl says she doesn't like a guy with muscle, it's never because she finds the body unattractive. She assigns certain characteristics to the type of guy to have a good body, then goes on to say she doesn't want that fantasy figure. Vs objectively saying she is physically not attracted to that. Complete bullshit. Being fit is better. It's universal. Take that for what you will. It isn't everything, but it will help you no matter who you are.

Being assertive is universally attractive. The only subjective part is how aggressive you are about it. Like if you steam roll people they aren't going to like you. If you have some level of being considerate of those around you then it's wildly attractive. This one is more about how much is too much, but you absolutely want to be assertive. Being unnassertive is annoying and unattractive.

Having a winning attitude is universally attractive. If you have an attitude of "I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna win" regardless of the circumstances and whether or not you're down now. Universally attractive. Flipside. If you feel like you're always going to lose. Unattractive. Downer. No one wants to work with that.

Having a strong work ethic, universally attractive. The subjective part is about how much is too much. Do you work yourself to death and can't have fun? Do you pressure other people and stress them out because you want to get something done? Or are you focused, take on a big work load until it's done, collaborate with others and when it's time to relax you're focused on just relaxing? Obviously one is more appealing than the other. But the trait of working hard is universally respected

VegetaSSB · Accepted Answer

Yes, attractiveness is really subjective, but only up to a point, be it only the physical aspect, or personality traits, or economic situation or any other parameter you might want to evaluate.

The last days i have read a lot of scientific articles about attractiveness and it´s various nuances, and i can guarantee you that even in the physical sense there are men and women that actually like people that are even obese, altought it tends to be more common in poor countries and way more non common in first world countries, so i think physical attractiveness, from what i have gotten from my last day research into attraction, is the most variable parameter, every other is way more stricter in which traits are desirable or not, but it also depends on the context, if it is for short term or long term.

But i also have read two very interesting articles written by a Greek researcher in the area of attraction and mating. In his articles he specifically aims to understand the so called Incel situation, or why some people cannot get laid in the first place. And his speculation is that, because for a great deal of known human history people actually didn´t completely control the marriage or equivalent relationship status by themselves, but majority of the time were heavily influenced, especially women, by their parents, some people simple lack the proper flirting skills, or capability to recognize signals of interest or are simple too shy, and i agree with this line of tought.

If you want, just read the articles , i will post the links for them:
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1474704919872416
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1474704919887706 https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/147470491201000308

SueShe · Accepted Answer

Allow me to disagree with you.

I am single and celibate by choice and it is not the lack of catcallers or perverts that keep me that way. Actually, it is BECAUSE of those kind of people that I am single.

I just don't want to be assimilated to just a piece of flesh and genital organs. I have my dignity and self esteem.

Also, a huge number of people, be it boys or girls, are just not interested in being in a relation and that has strictly nothing to do with attractiveness but it is a decision that they made.

I have set my priorities differently as I am ambitious and want to achieve something in life. For the next 30-40 years, there is no space for anyone in my life to jeopardize my goals and a relation is the last thing I need if I want to go ahead in life.

MissDawn7961 · Accepted Answer

with some people it can be and with others no it is not ! by the time everyone is an adult , they pretty muchly know what they do and do not want in an opposite sex boyfriend / girlfriend and spouse ! I feel that they mainly gain this knowledge by dating ! I know what looks I want my boyfriend / husband to have and the type of heart I need him to have as well ! however , his out word looks are not near as important as the type of heart he has either ! the man for me needs to have a - loving , caring , forgiving , compassionate heart for me and God too ! Thanks

aWes0MeNeSs · Answer

To a point, yes. It's subjective because everyone likes something different, but there are also some pretty universal standards, such as symmetrical features.

However, there can be many reasons why someone is involuntarily single that doesn't necessarily mean they're unattractive. They don't put themselves out there, they're not happy with their options, their personality is not good or they have some issues, etc.

Thatsamazing · Answer

... Sigh.

No. Human attraction is not actually subjective. Everyone with a brain knows this. See there's this nice thing called "objective reality" that we all live in which has been studied for years and years by sociologists and anthropologists and psychologists, which has literally *proven* that the overwhelming majority of humanity find the same broad attributes attractive, or unattractive, on a person. The minor details like hair color or eye color or whatever are more subjective, yes, but it *is not subjective* to say that the overwhelming majority of humanity would agree generally that this

is not only attractive, but sought-after and beautiful, and this

is not.

Denying this *fact* is simple denial of reality. But hey, these are times in which an Internet troll can be elected American president, because facts don't matter, so whatever.

jcclifton · Answer

Is attractiveness a word?
I not going to even try and use it in a sentence.
Yes some pepole stand out more because of there looks.
I've spotted a woman witch I believe to be breath taking.
Now pick out ten random guys and ask them for there oppinon.
The funny thing is if all of your men come from diffrent back rounds, ages, culture's. Odds are your going to get 10 difrent opinions ranging from hot to not. The thing is those are first impressions and have nothing to do with being attractive. Lets say some time during the evening I run into that woman that I thought was breath taking and introduce myself to her. I tell her how atractiv I think she is and that I hope she's have a good time at the event.
Now's when you deside.
I've introduced myself to quiet a few lady's over the year's.
Some were drop dead gorgeous , most of them were pretty avrage, I've also met a few that I was sure that Big Foot had tobe there little brother.
For me an attractive woman is independent, confident,
has a posative self image.

Red-Blaze · Answer

There 7M your not going to meet even a small amount of them but the point is there so many options you will not run out in your life time

There are the common standards per an area but out there you have some that get attracted to anything really

Just to point out some have a thing for people with missing libs, some for cars, and some for... well anything

I don't think till today I ever really heard or meet someone that did not have some match, even if they. never seek it out

Sadly can't link to anything to show my point, its mostly just what I observed

Screenwriter · Answer

There are general facts about attractiveness. Everyone finds faces that fit the "golden mean" and are regular in appearance attractive. For men, strong jawlines and chins and square faces with obvious cheekbones are preferred. These show high levels of testosterone. For women, more oval faces, but the same strong jawlines, cheekbones, advertise good balances of estrogen and testosterone. Clear skin, large eyes, clear eye sclera (the whites), advertise health. High BMI is only appropriate when someone is heavily built: as in greater than average muscle mass. Lean to moderate weight advertises general health. Teeth that are not riddled with cavities and clean show the person cares for their mouth. Clean and healthy nails, meaning without fungus, are also indications of general health. The additonal non physical attractants: a person's education, personality, work and personal habits all add up to how attractive they are to you.

tjkyle316197 · Answer

It's been almost ten years for me, personally, albeit I've connected with dozens of women significantly. Despite this, I could argue either side, but there is a ton of truth to the cliches and there is always going to be someone for everyone. The detriment to this is the fact that communication is a finite part to intimacy and distance muddles the chemistry and logistics to the intimacy that creates the proper dynamic and fondness not held up by fondness alone. Separation and co-independence are tools but not solutions to the potency of attraction. We also get in our own way by not utilizing the many ways we can branch out further beyond our comfort than ever before in this modern age of a hugely tech-savvy populous.

Bandit74 · Answer

There is definitely some subjectivity in the sence that there are different flavors of attractiveness and that there isn't 100% aggreement on how attractive someone is but it is probably more objective than people would like to admit.

It's not like each person has their own standard of beauty that is completely unique from anyone elses. If that wre true you would think that a fat hairy bald man would be just as likely to be someones 10 as a tall athletic man with a full head of hair which clearly isn't the case. While there isn't 100% agreement there is still A LOT of overlap between what traits people find attractive which is why there will be certain people that have very few if any sexual options and others who seemingly have a line of eager people waiting of a chance with them.

Robertcw · Answer

Yes... sexual attraction is determined by biological compatibility. Pheromones are scents which provide information to other animals about the compatibility of our immune systems and of how compatible and complementary our genomes are.

Different people require different genes to match their own for healthy offspring.

That's why there is no universal standard of beauty, especially across race and culture.

This is why smell of body is an important aspect of attraction. Smelling good is subjective depending on how compatible your genomes are.

Aside from that, good health and fitness are the next factors. They signal the body's health. Healthy bodies function better, which also grow babies better.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZYUtVsA-wi4

The final thing to consider, which is more of a female thing, is ability to provide material objects to a baby. Just to keep it alive after it's born.

AynonOMouse · Answer

It's also possible for someone to be single for a long time because other people aren't good enough for them. Just because someone won't accept immoral ugly people doesn't mean that person is the problem.
And there may be billions of people, but how many people do you know that has met them? Try nobody. The amount of people that someone usually meets IRL is way less than 1% of the population in their entire life so maybe there are many people compatible with them, they just haven't encountered them yet.

Unit1 · Answer

Let me put it into this perspective so you can understand why attractiveness is subjective.

i like career women. You like housewives.
i like women, who don't care about gender associations. You like only "feminine" women.
i like intelligent women. You like women, who are inferior to you.
i have no taste for dominance / submission and therefore those words mean nothing to me. you find only submissive women attractive and you need to feel to be the dominant one.
I like independent women, who can stand on their own 2 feet. You like women, who will completely depend on you.
i like women, who will speak about and get what they want in bed. You like women to "STFU" in bed and do your bidding and just lay there like an inanimate body pillow.

all the former i find attractive in women and all the latter i find disgusting. And in reverse for you. Just an example in the form of a metaphor.

SomeGUYonGAG · Answer

Yes it is. It's not really that there's 7 billion people in this world it's actually about the concept of attractiveness itself. Terms like "beauty" and "ugly" are completely man made and are concepts only used by our fellow man. The universe itself ad the atoms that make it up are not in the least bit concerned with your looks, the ground you walk upon will not raise you up if your gorgeous and the sky you live under will not smite you down if you're hideous. What I'm trying to say it that ANY concept that was invented by man is completely subjective, whether it's the concept of attractiveness, right and wrong, intelligence, etc.

DiscomfortZone · Answer

Of course it isn't. Attractiveness is derived from objective, concrete and factual things like symmetry, shades etc. The thing is some people are desperate enough to manage to ignore physical exterior flaws, they compromise and settle so as not to be alone. That's what people mean. Not that someone might find you attractive even though you're obviously hideously ugly, but that someone might be desperate enough to look above/beyond your ugliness. It wouldn't make you any less ugly, but at least you would no longer be lonely.

Anonymous · Answer

There are certain features that makes a person "traditionally" attractive. Some people have one or two of these features, others have all of them which would make them pretty much perfect physically. But there are also people who are just attractive in their own quirky type of way. And personally i've found myself very attracted to guys who haven't really been all that physically attractive for reasons I can't say, I suppose we just had a really strong chemistry and in cases like that physical appearance don't even matter much. So yes and no really. There are features which would make a person physically attractive to everyone but not everyone might find themselves attracted to that person still because they have different taste. There are many celebrity men I don't find attractive for example even though I can see that they have those "perfect" features.

morimeme1 · Answer

I think there are different levels of attractiveness and it starts being subjective from a certain point when it comes to specific things. Also, maybe I subjectively am not attracted to a certain person but can agree that most women would find them attractive.

Pamina · Answer

Attractiveness can be viewed objectively only in a statistical way. And that's relevant in a lot of ways, but for the individual person it's completely irrelevant. Individually speaking, attractiveness is subjective. Sure, there's evolutionary influences in all of us, but they differ from person to person vastly and they're so mixed up with all other sorts of individual factors that you can safely say - atractiveness is subjective for each individual.

19magic · Answer

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elite665 · Answer

It is I think many models are unattractive I like average more

qzar24 · Answer

First off, thank you for addressing that absurd notion that you're gonna have a meaningful interaction with 7 billion people! I did the math once and I think you could meet 1 or 2 dozen a year depending on how hard you try.
Second, I see 'attractive' and 'good looking' to be different. So yeah, there is likely a person or people out there who find you attractive even if you're not a good-looking person. That doesn't mean you'll ever meet said person, but they do exist.

Ianto · Answer

An interesting viewpoint on this is to contemplate the desert island scenario. A person not considered attractive in a normal social context might be acceptable in a situation with no competition. In fact, that sheds light on the whole InCel situation. Where they might have found partners in a pre-media context (village idiots could breed), modern media expose women to more attractive options with which they can't compete.
So I think attractiveness is relative, as well as subjective.

Liam_Hayden · Answer

Of course it is subjective. I've been told I'm "gorgeous" and told that I'm "below average" on the same night by different women. And you might not have access to all of the planet's 7.7 billion or so people, but there are probably thousands or tens of thousands or more within short driving distance, and hundreds of millions online.

Is attractiveness REALLY subjective?

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