Girls, Would You Like Having A Stay At Home Husband?

[CherryRoseChampange]

Updates

+1 y

I think I want a stay at home husband that works from home. It would be nice to come home to that. When the virus lifts I plan on living a busy life still. Having a home life with a foundation set would be a nice get away. I'd need that. Although, a lot of men told me they'd never be a stay at home guy 😂😂

[Screenwriter]

It is so ironic that men wouldn't like to create the same positive homelife models they grew up with. Being a man who manages home and child care and organizes the many activties a family with children participate in is a noble thing to do. It can also be creative and enjoyable. You're creating peace for your family. Taking care of their health, etc.. Planning great parties for the bosses, clients or friends and families.. Scheduling haircuts, planning meals... painting the inside and outside of the home, mowing the lawn... Making life wonderful for your spouse, children, self and friends. What a great job. NOW... there are people who do not take this as a holistic all inclusive job. They sit on their asses, slap together a meal, dust a piece of furniture. Nothing noble about these princesses. But I've known parents who have welcoming homes, no matter who was or wasn't at home. That's the goal.

[lumos]

Unfortunately I don't think it would be a smart setup from a financial standpoint if he didn't work from home too. But if he worked from home as well, I don't think I'd have any problems with that. There are plenty of good career paths in today's modern society that allow you to work from home. My boyfriend has been able to work from home 100% during this pandemic. I wouldn't mind it if he did more chores around the house at the same time lol. Currently I'm doing most of the cleaning since I'm used to being a self-starter, whereas he won't really do it (as often) unless I tell him to haha. So if he did most of the cooking/cleaning too, hell yeah :D

[Oram52]

So why should he work and also do all the chores?

[lumos]

@Oram52 who said anything about doing *all* the chores? I just said he could do more of them if he stays at home. I also know that he does a lot of waiting around at work, like while waiting for people to respond and things to progress. During that time he can do whatever he wants, and nothing is technically stopping him from taking that time to do a bit of cleaning. Currently he's just playing video games instead, though.

[Oram52]

Fair enough - I thought you meant in context of original question.

[Oram52]

Why should he have two different responsibilities? Working from home and being a house-husband? Why is it only acceptable to be a house husband if he has income coming in as well?

51% of millennials said they'd be fine with staying at home. Its women who have a problem, they see it as feminine. Even for yourself you can only fathom having a house husband if he also works.

That's the reason women aren't at higher positions, they take time off work, few years out of work they can no longer catch up. That's one of the reasons of wage gap.

If women are housewives kids grow up leave, then why is it when men are househusbands when kids leave suddenly they should find a job?

Of course if he's house husband he should also get an allowance.

[Screenwriter]

ALLOWANCE FOR A HOUSEHUSBAND? What kind of radical talk is that. His allowance is a kiss from me and a pat on the buttocks. If he wears a particularly revealing outfit, there'll be some quickie sex for me... He has to take care of himself. And OF COURSE he has to have a part time job! 15 or 20 hours a week of being a sales clerk or something light. THAT's where he gets his pin money from... I'm paying the mortage and car note and home maintenance fee. We already have a shopper and nanny. The interior designer consults with hiim on home decoration. We have an account. No MAN should have a finger on the general purse strings. Whew! My heart was aflutter. Well back to the oil rig! Regards.

[Oram52]

@Screenwriter Sarcasm noted, but housewives do get an allowance, where does she get her pretty clothes to look hot from? :)
If they don't they should be demanding it. Many don't work even after kids have left home.

[Screenwriter]

I think everyone should have their own money and not rely on a spouse for money for their clothes or incidentals. No one needs to stay at home 24 hours a day, even with a young baby. You can CHOOSE to do that, but I think it's a financially foolish move. You have to do a lot of arranging to get proper child care, but if you have a job, you can pay for "time off" from preschool age children, which is only sensible. Staying at home all the time with infants is draining and thankless. Though tired, I was glad to return to my job three weeks after my son was born. Since he was planned, I'd planned child care, interviewed sitters, etc. before he was born. My husband was also available since he only worked part time. And my mom and dad pitched in a little. Playing house might be a thrill for some people, I felt suffocated. I had no problem with home care, meal planning, finances. But little bits take great levels of patience that wears thin on me. Love my son, he's a great man. But those high energy bounce off the wall levels of childhood are only fine in small doses. I'll probably be a great grandparent: those small doses will be easier to control... And taking off a decade is absurd. Kids don't need constant attention. Do homework with them, attend some of their games, talk to t hem. That's good enough.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

My fiancée already noted that in her opinion she prefers for me to stay at home - I'm very good at keeping the home, cleaning and cooking - but I'd prefer to find a job when the whole emergency subsides.

[arabgoddess]

Lucky her

[jennifer_bloom]

I think I earn enough that I can afford one but he would have to be very very very good at it

[Apple1996]

Nah I prefer being the one that stays home

[ShadowofRegret]

I know you are primarily asking women if they would want one, but I thought I would say this as a guy, I honestly kind of prefer the idea of being a house husband over pursuing a career, I do not know how to cook (no one taught me,) but I could learn, and I tend to like cleaning stuff.

[ShellyShocked]

Yeah😊 especially if he's hot as hell and makes me eggs. I'll go to work, win some bread, come home and have my homemaker give me a massage and a hard fuck, then drink some scotch and play pool with the girls while he cleans up the kitchen and tucks in our kids. I could get used to that fo show

[blutwolfe]

was not expecting something like that from your age lol, you still gotta build your career before you can build that bread, otherwise sounds good lol

[ShellyShocked]

@blutwolfe yeah im full of surprises, also i was being kinda sarcastic lol

[mattmanyah2]

I sorta work from home I buy and sell cheap cars and work at a comp repair shop that I take my work home from... The house remains almost tidy there's a clean laundry pile in my room. Other than that everything is vacuumed and put away. Maybe a dish in the sink... I'm not sure I could make as much as I do if I had kids here but I want kids here.

[abc3643]

There are times when I am the stay-at-home husband and I love it. I was joking with my wife today... She was asking how did I know that you should go to Dollar General between 10 AM and Noon on Mondays; I said "It's because I am your wife!" because, when I am home, I do all the domestic chores and shopping while she works in one of our bedrooms at home.

[FightersOrLovers]

Hell no. I got sick for 2 days and the house looks like fucking fallout now lol.

[CherryRoseChampange]

😂😂😂

[Jemini_Crocket]

Not really. I would prefer for both of us to work. If he would stay at home and I would come back from work, he'd probably be bored from the house and would want to go out while I'd be spent from work.

[peachyknees]

No, this idea displeases me. I'm looking for a partner, not for a maid-husband or personal assistant. If I were to earn a bunch of money (enough for both of us) I'd be super annoyed to know that while I work he just... stays at home. I would end up resenting him.

[lightbulb27]

ok, but women who stay home often.. do a lot of work. It's a full time job that doesn't end if they actually do work... tend to kids, cooking, cleaning, repairing the house, the car, mowing the lawn, etc.. If you are paying for all that and he just watches netflix, that is a big problem. I actually know someone in that scenario... kinda:)

[peachyknees]

@lightbulb27 you don't need to tell me that. I used to do all of the above (minus the kids, since I don't want any), while having a 10 h job & attending Uni courses.

[lightbulb27]

I see, with that load, you are very driven. did similiar. My BFF like that and hubby is... really lazy. I know that headache of being unequal, so I getcha. You want someone with some goals and drive. I grew up with stay at home mom is why I made comment... it was very accepted in that model of life. Peachy knees... must be from Georgia!

[peachyknees]

@lightbulb27 I understand. I'm assuming back in the day the arrangements were different. The thing is, these arrangements transform over time to suit our needs - that's why, nowadays, I'd like to meet someone who can keep up with me :) And trust me, I know how hard is to keep a clean house at all times - I have nothing but respect for this, but it doesn't mean you can't do anything else besides.

[lightbulb27]

true. There are guys like that, I don't think they are typical though.. they have a self drive and are caregiving, empathetic good guys. I doubt they are the "sales" guys. .. you have to choose very wisely... I've seen people live in filth and are content (blech). Interesting "no kids"... I sawa guy post about that not long ago what women around your age wouldn't want kids cause he didn't, something like that. Anyways, best wishes, thanks for chatting.

[JiminsHoe]

Haha, yes and no. It has nothing to do with income or finding it "feminine", though, that's all silly. It really is just because I'm an introvert and charge by being alone, so as much as I'd probably want my husband around seeing as I'd get married to him, too much would be tiiiiiring. If my job required me to travel, though, then it'd be great, and even better, as there would be someone to take care of the kids (Hypothetically).

[Wonderer89]

Not for me... I’m not really into either of us staying home full time unless it was in our financial best interests. Unless there are children involved neither should quit work. If there are kids involved and he wanted to take some time off to be with them that’s great - but not long term (years).

[mrdimples78]

Holy cow, I was doin a little bit of online stalking...& Ur a cutie!!!

[CallMeDave]

I work from home some of the time and don't have to work as many hours as my girlfriend does so in some ways I'm like a stay at home husband. I'm home a lot more than she is anyway. I do most of the laundry, grocery shopping and cleaning and a lot of the cooking too. My girlfriend says she loves it. My guess is that she'd be fine with me not working at all if I keep doing those things are we're able to manage it financially, but at this point I'm planning to keep working.

[midnightmoon05]

That would be perfect for my situation. Its not for everyone and can break a relationsip if not done respectually
He can help out, and pursue his passion since kids kids are more independant now.

[Shebleble]

Hmmm this is a hard one since i wanna be a housewife😭😂. U wouldnr mind if i was smart enough to graduate college and get a good job and i respect a women who can do that shit yes a fucking queen but im just too damn stupid😔

[BeingSingleBlows]

You're not stupid. Trust me. College is easy. It's just a bunch of regurgitating what the professor said to get a good grade. Done it for ten years already... But you want to be a housewife. Great 👍

[Shebleble]

@BeingSingleBlows 😂😭omg yes

[DeeDeeDeVour]

My husband & I are mostly home nowadays because of COVID-19. He's spoiling me & our pets and taking very good care of the household. <3 I'm in heaven! :)

[GraveDoll]

No Just no.

I think it healthy for BOTH parties to have lives outside the home. He not going to drive me crazy when i get home from work. fussing about random unimportant stuff. no thanks

[mrdimples78]

Hmmmm... who does that?

[GraveDoll]

@mrdimples78

i dont know what you're talking about but i dont any one who sits at home male or female.

[certifiedalphafemale]

Nope, I want him to pursue his dreams and be what he wants to be. I can't see him just staying at the house and having no life. Both of us need to be breadwinners so that we will be a good example when we have children. But if he stays at home, he must know how to do household chores because he lives on it.

[Peanut127]

I've had that before, I'm disabled so I'm always home. Guy was a IT geek so most work from home. So it was nice. We did our own thing in dif rooms of house then took breaks to chat together, and whenever. :)

[Unit1]

Staying at home not making money is the same for me as starving and having needs and wants never being met. I can't ever agree to this.

[MinaNameIzNobody]

Being a stay at home wife or husband is a full time job.

[Unit1]

@MinaNameIzNobody And it pays how much approximately?
Exactly 0/month
Not for me.

[KrakenAttackin]

Women give this idea lipservice, but the research shows that quickly women lose respect for "stay-at-home-dads".

[Littlemissbrat]

He is spitting truth ^^^

[ShellyShocked]

Like men ever respected stay at home wives? The no respect is the point of keeping one person in the relationship as a maid.

[KrakenAttackin]

@ShellyShocked At 16 you have absolutely, positively, no idea what you are talking about. None. Zero. Nada.

[ShellyShocked]

Whats your excuse then geezer? 40 years old and STILL no idea what you're talking about. Anytime i hear someone whine about my age, it just means im right because you have no better objection. So thanks for agreeing with me and go kill yourself😁😁😁

[nelly83]

You cannot generalize all women that way. I can surely imagine myself making a shit ton of money in finance within 15 years. If I have kids, I know I wouldn't always be home on time. I would prefer a parent to care for them instead of it constantly being grandparents or baby sitters. I don't trust daycares. The spouse who makes less money should stay home. But typically if the wife has a high flying career, it is unlikely that she will end up staying home as the family will be losing on hundreds of thousands of dollars, potentially millions, on not only lost income but also lost assets, which has a huge effect on children and their lifestyles. I wouldn't mind having my husband caring for my child before it enters elementary. But I don't think it is acceptable for a parent, male or female, to be a stay home parent for life.

I find that it is only necessary that you find a caretaker prior to elementary school. Once the kids hit elementary school, there will be tons of afterschool programs and activities that you can put your children in. As long as you have someone to pick up your child from after school daily, there should be no problem. I was raised this way in NYC along with so many other children. We turned out perfectly fine. I think we need to put stereotypes and assumptions out of the way.

[peachyknees]

This is the truth nobody wants to hear.

[KrakenAttackin]

@ShellyShocked You are still a child, legally and mentally, please allow the adults to talk.

[nelly83]

@KrakenAttackin, Traditionally , stay home wives are not respected. They are expected to be subservient, lacking in education, job skills and are expected to "serve" their husbands. When do you ever see husbands serving their wives? Especially in today's world, housewives are prone to financial abuse. She cannot refuse her husbands orders unless she wants her personal allowance taken away. Her husband makes all the decisions around the house because he is the breadwinner. Housewives find it hard to divorce their husbands too. Being out of the workforce for 10 years , really does not make you more employable.
Lastly, most families are living paycheck to paycheck, unable to afford an unexpected 400 dollar bill. Broke af. Now you want housewives? most families cannot even afford it anymore.
Unrealistic expectations, really.

[Unit1]

@ShellyShocked
you are on fire 😂😁

[KrakenAttackin]

@nelly83 If stay-at-home wives are NOT respected it is only other feminist women who do not respect"them. Men absolutely respect women who care enough about their children to actually be a mother to them.

[nelly83]

Do you realize that MOST women do not want to be stay at home wives? The overwhelming majority of women want to make their own income. And this is because women are grown adults who deserves independence and we do not want to feel like children. Most mothers do feel the pain of leaving their kids to to work full time but she knows that working is better for herself and her own kids in the long run. Unless you make well over 150k, having a stay home wife will do more harm on your kids then good.

Do you really think you can pay taxes, mortgage, summer camp, tutoring, school supplies , computers, video games, payments for 2 cars, give your wife a personal allowance and still have plenty left for college and retirement savings , by making less than 6 figures?

I find stay home parents to be unacceptable because the reality is , there’s really NOTHING for her to do the house once her kids hit a certain age. I grew up with parents who worked full time and picked me up from after school, tutored me on homework until 10 pm at night, cooked dinner, washed dishes, did shopping. I grew up more well behaved, mature and much more well educated than others. I respect individuals who work hard to raise their kids , not some lip service about how great a stay home parent is when she simply sits on the couch and makes 3 meals a day then goes to sleep.

[nelly83]

If most mothers find it happier for them to work, then you need to RESPECT that. You have no right to bash women for how their live their lives. It’s no longer a patriarchal society where men dictated what women do. This shows how little of respect you actually have for women.

And it is such a false statement that all stay home moms are great mothers. There are so many men out there who marry women that are narcissistic, mean, jealous, selfish, have mental issues that DO NOT love their children. Yet these guys LOVE their wives. Does this mean they are terrible fathers?
There are countless mothers out there who are abusive toward their kids, do not know how to raise or teach kids, do not have the maturity or experience to be a good parent.
Staying at home is not the key to perfect kids, it really boils down to who you marry. A highly intelligent , educated , wise mother who works 9-5 will raise much more successful kids than an immature high school graduate staying home her entire life

[KrakenAttackin]

@nelly83 You say this as a woman who has no children. Also, your saying "most women don't want to be stay at home mothers", is patently false, once a woman has a child. You are talking about the "modern" females in your cohort... who are , to be frank, shit for brains.

[nelly83]

Don’t talk about what’s best for the kids If clearly cannot even provide well for your kids. Most Americans cannot even afford an additional unexpected 500 dollar bill. Just wait till your kids have to pull out 200k in college loans by the time they hit 22, you will definitely feel like the best parent on earth by then

[KrakenAttackin]

@nelly83 I do have kids, so I know exactly what it takes to be a parent. Also, most people can't afford a $500 bill because they live well beyond their means. The last thing the world needs is another shitty mother.

[nelly83]

I actually saw a couple of polls on this website. And over 90 percent of women agree that being working mother is better than stay home mom. It’s a lie that you’re saying most women want to stay home. And I’m sure you want stay home mom for a Selfish personal reason rather than it being for the kids.

I’m a career woman And it is my ultimate goal to have kids in life. I do not plan on giving up my career just because I have kids. It’s kinda like saying that I will give up everything in life once my kids pop out. Believe it or not, most working women do miss their kids. But at the same time we know that we will be more miserable living as stay home moms in the long run. Just take a look at the utter boredom and loneliness when there’s nobody around the house 8-9 hours a day. I would just be mainly watching tv and sleeping or eating chips. I still have goals and dreams to chase and so many things to learn about the world , even after kids, why would I jail myself and condemn myself to a house just after a few kids popped out?

I know that there is nothing wrong being raised by working parents because I turned out perfectly fine, it is such an overblown stereotype that you MUST have a stay home parent in order to be raised into successful adults. It’ll be much more important that you select the right wife than have an unqualified mother stay at home raising kids. There are soo many unqualified mothers out there, it’s not even a fucking joke.

Men are willing to marry bad mothers but are unwilling to let women work. Don’t you see the irony in that? as if you bear no responsibilities for your own kids

[nelly83]

And by the way, I know secret to raising successful children. And no, it has nothing to do with having a stay home mother 3 more hours with the kids on a daily basis than the average working mother. It has to do with QUALITY OVER QUANTITY.

[nelly83]

Rather than keep forcing women to be housewives, Let’s see you work two jobs , 7 days a week, for the next 25 years , to sufficiently provide for your family and let’s see how happy you will be. Don’t talk about imposing standards on women while you clearly cannot even provide well enough for your family