Is it normal if a guy is emotionally attached to his good friend (girl)? Is it healthy?

[Anonymous]

Is it normal if a guy is emotionally attached to his good girl friend? He would tell her everything including his dark secrets and his hatred towards things and people. He even whining to her and complaining of his problems. Sometimes he annoys her but then he quickly apologize and comfort her. He is not that bad when he listen to her advice and follows what she asking him to do for better. He would only listen to her among all of everyone. He is a rebel and she is kind of passive. Everytime he get angry, she would calm him down and he gets better afterwards. He seems afraid to lose her because he always give the idea to stay together and keep in touch even if they are going to be apart. Is this a healthy friendship? Is it manipulative?

[ScottStevens]

I'm not sure how to describe this mess of a situation! But healthy would never come to mind. At some point your male friend needs to understand that a professional personal counselor is his best option. Without that, he risks the destruction of a very good friendship. I'm not that person, but I have found myself in a situation where I was also confused, never able to enjoy a healthy relationship (marriage), and in general not moving myself forward. I found the courage to seek professional help and am so glad I did. That decision has to be his and his alone. Somehow you need to find the strength and support to help him find the path to a healthier life.

Best Wishes!

[Asker]

Thanks for the comments ✔️

He is 22 and 4 years younger than me. He is a good looking & such a friendly guy. But I want to avoid romantic relationship between working friends. But as I met him everyday from 9-5, this working relationship grow to really close friendship. At first 5 months, he treat me really nice and he left me when he got a girlfriend because he need to focus on her. He seems no longer care about me and become rude with me sometimes. I get upset and distance myself away. Then after they broke up he come back to me. But this time he said he had it enough with those girls. He compared them to me and says that I am better than them. I dont know what does he mean by that. But this time he gets weird. Seems he can't let me off alone. He change his seat next to me and he even told everyone that we were a couple. In joking way of course. He insists to send me home and hang out with me just the two of us each time. Its getting weird when friends invite us to go out in group but he decline and told me to to go alone with him only in front of them. I get awkward because he did that in front of other guys and it seems like he is marking his territory on me. He also suggest that we both should move away from the town and live together somewhere. When I told this to my girl friends, they said it is unhealthy for us to keep me along while he didn't declare any feelings for me and he seems manipulative that way. They see this guy not only emotionally attached to me but also confusing sometimes. I get confused. Is this that bad?

[ScottStevens]

Wow

Nobody has ever sent a response so open and personal. I have thought about it before I responded.

I will stick with my original thoughts. He is probably a good, fine person. He needs guidance through a difficult time. Your best choice is to help him find himself through professional help and you will be there to support him.

I would have loved to have you as a friend when I I truly needed this help. I choose a different path, god I would take that back if I could.

Be a friend. Don’t fall for a trap like I did. Many years later I am still on pain.

[Platypuss]

On the information you have provided, this seems a really understanding friendship. With a very solid core. It might last longer than usual. But, things change.
That being said, doesn't seem manipulative at all to me.
But I might be wrong I have a very little info on how the person is, how he says and does.

[Asker]

Thansk for the comment ✔️

Its been more than a year I know him, I see he is kind of rebel, he won't trust anyone unless me. He is a friendly guy but very selective in choosing close friends. While he hate everyone who seems trouble him, he didn't mind if its me. Its like he hate all the girls he met. But with me he said he willing to do everything including treating me like his girl. He would not listen to anyone but surprisingly he listen to me and my advice. I don't know what makes he become that way with me. But I believe he developed some kind of fondness for me since the first day we met. He said he pity me because he see me as a nice girl and a loner but actually really nice. I don't know why but he seems like he can't leave me alone or he don't want to lose me. He always insists to be with me as much as he could. He doesn't mind to send me home and even take me with him to travel if I asked him to. I told my girl friends and they said we goes beyond normal because it seems like a lover but it is wrong because he didn't declare us that way but trying to string me along kind, that kind of selfish of him. He even ask me to leave the town and move somewhere with him. My friends questioning why would he taking me with him that way if he never sure where I stand for him. I get confused.

[Platypuss]

What is the confusion? Apparently it's more than clear he loves you.
Dude, see it through? Think... Decide yourself...