Why is my guy friend emotionally dependent on me when he has a girlfriend?

[Ofoceans]

I'm having a huge dilemma right now with a guy friend. A week ago, it hit me like bricks because he traveled somewhere and broke his bone. I got upset at him and told him why he'd learn how to drive when he knows he's not good at it. Because I was stressed out, i did not talk to him for a week.

He sent me a message. I did not respond then after almost a week, I responded and he said he was worried because I was not responding and if I was okay. I told him i should be asking him that. He said sorry I was stressed out and proceeded to tell me he has a surgery happening, giving me videos of what is going on and where he is at in the hospital.

Even in his state of having a broken bone, he still asked whether my stomach was okay because I was sick in the past. He still is very sweet when sending me a message even if he already is in a bad state and needing surgery.

He also asked me to check up on him tomorrow before and after his surgery. I don't really know what to feel at this point. I feel that he's very emotionally dependent or we are both codependent.

I don't know if the girlfriend is the one who caused the accident but my guy friend is normally cautious so this is really a surprise and out of character for him. He did tell me he was trying to learn how to drive so that he can use it when he goes home to his province.

Why is he emotionally dependent on me when he has a girlfriend? Shouldn't his girlfriend be the one who'll need to check on him before and after surgery?

[DishLady]

So... many many guys have the friend they go to to ask the questions they're too shy to ask their girlfriend/SO because they're worried the latter will react poorly to the question, so you end up getting those questions because you're his "Best Gal" (like "Best Man" at a wedding). You're not his sexual interest, you're not his BFF necessarily, but you're more like a person he confesses stuff to when he needs a woman to weigh in on something before he presents it to his lady. (E. g., my friend was about to propose to a really nice girl (who is also a friend of mine), but when it came to picking the ring for her he got all jumpy and lost... so I pointed him in the direction of a (reasonably-priced) place and reminded him this is the same girl he's been with for the past 3 years... BREATHE, etc...

He picked the ring out... np... and married the girl... and is deliriously happy raising his first born as we speak... Just when it comes to pleasing her, sometimes he has a question or two and will call or text...

As long as you recognize that this is a Platonic, advisory role and nothing more you'll be fine.

[dustybiker2]

Probably finds it easier to talk to you. She might be closed off or insensitive. Or you might be trusted to give honest feedback.

[Finchie40]

Yes I agree with you, he needs to focus on his girlfriend and not focus on you , he doesn’t realize the damage he is doing to his relationship by investing his time into you. His girlfriend might eventually dump him for doing that to be honest , if she finds out he has been coming to you instead of going to her. You are best to tell him to focus on his girlfriend more and distance yourself from him , next time he tries to call you or text you , just tell him you are busy and don’t text him back for a few days , hopefully he gets the hint that you don’t want to be stuck between his relationship with his girlfriend

[Summeroflove]

Don’t just ignore someone just tell him he needs to stop telling you everything. I don’t know his situation but he’s probably going through something but friends also help one another out a lot though hard times.

I don’t know the situation with the girlfriend. Maybe she’s not a nurturing person? I have no idea. Maybe she’s great but who knows. People are different sometimes.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, love and bonds, they throw us curveballs that sometimes even professional relationship coaches like me need a moment to process! But here goes: Your guy friend leaning on you, despite having a girlfriend, could be a dance of many tunes—comfort, deep trust, or the classic 'you're my emotional anchor' move. It's not about playing the love doctor, but understanding that emotional ties don't always respect the boundaries of a relationship status. His reaching out, especially in times of vulnerability, suggests he values your support immensely, maybe even more than he consciously realizes.

On the surgical table of emotional dependency, we might dissect this situation to find that his reliance on you could stem from feeling a unique type of comfort and understanding with you that he maybe isn't getting from his girlfriend. However, tread carefully—you're in the tricky territory where feelings can get tangled, and misunderstandings can proliferate like germs in a petri dish!

If you're feeling like an emotional lifesaver being thrown into stormy seas, it might be time to set some boundaries. Gentle, honest communication about your concerns and feelings could help clarify where you both stand and what you both need from this friendship. Remember, maintaining your own emotional health is key, like fastening your oxygen mask first before assisting others. So, if this dynamic feels more draining than fulfilling, it might be time to reassess and possibly recalibrate your involvement. Keep the dialogue open, and remember, you're nobody's therapist, but a friend who also needs to navigate her own emotional landscape.

[thisAppIsGarbage]

Delete your account. Everyone hates you

[libsaretards]

Commit seppuku, AI Trash

[OlderAndWiser]

The current girlfriend is for temporary convenience. You are the one he wants.

[hahahmm]

He's not dependent on you. He tried to be nice to you and you perceive it as weakness, being creepy & being needy and so on. He just hasn't learned yet that his male ancestors were right when they figured out that a man should be true to his masculine nature and not try to be what women claim they think men should be: soft, weak, nice, emotionally "in touch" and so on.

[Miristheiss]

Because his boundaries are HORRIBLE.

If he is in a committed relationship then he shouldn't be hanging out with some other woman like this.

His girl should have him cut this "close girl friend" out of his life or dump him.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

I mean is he not your friend I don't see anything that he has shared is over sharing.

I believe it's normal to check on a friend's health as they were suffering any person with compassion would do that and also since you were not responding he was just worried what happend.

In the whole narration I didn't see any emotional dependency perhaps he is naturally a caring person.

I don't see what is the problem here?

[Pookie2626262]

Your his comfort zone his emotional support person which is bad when your in a relationship because your partner should be your best friend the one you confide too sounds like he’s emotionally attached to you rather how you wanna deal with it is up to you

[Kaneki05]

Because one can have both? A close friend and a girlfriend are two separate things that he should be able to both express such reliance on.

[foxrider77]

Maybe watch Netflix and see where things go.

[exitseven]

Maybe his girlfriend not giving him very much support or attention. Maybe he just gets sex from her.

[thisAppIsGarbage]

It's not maybe it's definitely

[exitseven]

@thisAppIsGarbage the support or the sex?

[thisAppIsGarbage]

Support. Sex is basic. In out in out. Unless there is something behind. Support. Love. Care.

[ProbablyClueless]

Because he's emotionally cheating on his girlfriend with you.

[thisAppIsGarbage]

He is in love with you. His girlfriend is just the place holder until your stupid ass understands or gets married

[In_Trance]

That's probably a good question to ask his girlfriend

[KrakenAttackin]

He sounds like a little bitch.

[SecurelyInsecure]

maybe he needs a female friend?

[Bluegreen3737]

habit

[whistlingwh0res]

Men = scumbag