Last year, my boyfriend called for a break due to us arguing a lot but he never really stopped talking to me... so it never happened. Fast forward to a month ago, I called for the break due to wanting us to really look at both of our toxic behaviors, taking responsibility and accountability for them and coming together to find a solution against our problems so that both sides are happy. He didn’t take that well.
I initially wanted no contact and was going to reach out when I was ready to do so but after a week, he was using childish tactics, petty methods and arguments to get me to talk to him. We repay her things up two weeks ago, I had apologized for my part, fixed a good chunk of the things he brought to my attention and things were ok... until i started thinking how it was very one sides and that my issues were very much unresolved.
He has a way of hurting me on purpose by doing petty things he knows will hurt me because he’s upset. I took a week to figure out how to approach the issue because I didn’t want to cause a rift between us. I couldn’t hold it in anymore and just addressed it. I used as many I statements as I could to not come off as if I’m attacking him. I clearly stated my issues and what I expected which was an apology and actual acknowledgement/understanding of what he did and how it was hurtful as well as undoing what he’s done. Seemed fair... but he deflected everything and tried to bring up past issues that I’ve fixed as a justification and saying I was annoying for bringing the matter up (but he keeps doing it) , he stated he didn’t want to talk to me anymore and just ghosted. At day four he reached out “to see if I was good because of a flash flood warning”. I stated I was and he liked the message. It’s been crickets since.
I don’t want to make the first move and I don’t want to apologize... I don’t want to force the issue down his throat but I just don’t know what he’s thinking. He’s completely shut me out for demanding some respect.
I initially wanted no contact and was going to reach out when I was ready to do so but after a week, he was using childish tactics, petty methods and arguments to get me to talk to him. We repay her things up two weeks ago, I had apologized for my part, fixed a good chunk of the things he brought to my attention and things were ok... until i started thinking how it was very one sides and that my issues were very much unresolved.
He has a way of hurting me on purpose by doing petty things he knows will hurt me because he’s upset. I took a week to figure out how to approach the issue because I didn’t want to cause a rift between us. I couldn’t hold it in anymore and just addressed it. I used as many I statements as I could to not come off as if I’m attacking him. I clearly stated my issues and what I expected which was an apology and actual acknowledgement/understanding of what he did and how it was hurtful as well as undoing what he’s done. Seemed fair... but he deflected everything and tried to bring up past issues that I’ve fixed as a justification and saying I was annoying for bringing the matter up (but he keeps doing it) , he stated he didn’t want to talk to me anymore and just ghosted. At day four he reached out “to see if I was good because of a flash flood warning”. I stated I was and he liked the message. It’s been crickets since.
I don’t want to make the first move and I don’t want to apologize... I don’t want to force the issue down his throat but I just don’t know what he’s thinking. He’s completely shut me out for demanding some respect.
