Why does my affair partner keep showing me pics of his child?

[Anonymous]

You'll all judge me and slate me rotton but here goes. I've been having an affair for the past 8 months with someone who has a girlfriend and a child. It just happened and I'm sure people on here aren't innocent. I feel guilty all the time. But like I said... It just happened. But he sends me pictures of his child and him and his child. That just makes me feel more guilty. But is there a reason why he would do that?

[winterfox10]

He does it because he's sharing pieces of his life with you. The unfortunate reality of the position you find yourself in is that you will ALWAYS come third to the rest of his life. When someone has a kid, that kid becomes their top priority. When they have a partner; that partner is a higher priority than the extracurricular.

[Asker]

But he tells me he's not happy with her and I genuinely believe him to a certain extent. He said he would leave her tomorrow if he could, but he can't just leave his child that easy.

[winterfox10]

Oh... that's what they all say. He's telling you that to keep you around, and he has no intentions of leaving. If they aren't married, then the ONLY reason he's staying with her is because he wants to.

[Asker]

But he can't bring himself to leave his young child. Financial situation too. He thinks all the time of how he could end it with her without her knowing he's ending it because of an affair.

[winterfox10]

I know that you really really don't want to believe that what I'm telling is what's actually happening: but I promise that there is absolutely no way that money has anything to do with anything. He might possibly want to stay around so his kid has a more stable home: BUT THEY HAVEN'T GOTTEN MARRIED YET, AND THERE'S NO BENEFIT TO THEM NOT GETTING MARRIED.

[sejla]

He isn't going to leave his child he would be leaving his girlfriend. He will still see his child. He sounds like he isn't a grown up yet.

[akvalleygirl]

The real question is why don't you feel you deserve to be with a man that can fully commit himself to you? Why would you want to be second? You deserve more, there is a whole world of available men who would love to love you fully, why are you wasting your time on him. Wash your face girl, you are worth more, you can break free from him. Get better, not bitter.

[Anonymous]

Time to end it. Guilt has a purpose sometimes. In this case you know he is getting attached to you.

[Asker]

But we've fell for eachother. It's so hard, I know it's the right thing to do but I just can't bring myself to do it. I know im a bad person doing what I'm doing... Him too. But it's happened and now it's got complicated

[Opinion Owner]

Well you can continue in the relationship with a man who isn't going to give you his whole life and know that you are the third party in his other relationship which is causing harm to his girlfriend and child. Time to go see a therapist to figure out how to exit this relationship.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. "It just happened.". You woke up one morning and you were already in a relationship with him? You have no responsibility for this happening?

[OlderAndWiser]

2. "But he sends me pictures of his child and him and his child.". That is what makes him proud. I'll bet he doesn't show pictures of you to anyone, does he?

3. "That just makes me feel more guilty.". That's a good sign.

4. "But is there a reason why he would do that?" That is what happens when you have an illicit affair with someone. You are the low priority. And. . . if he ever breaks up with the girlfriend and makes you his new girlfriend, them you will become the next woman that he cheats on.

How much of your life are you going to waste on this trailer park lifestyle?

[mick05]

Yeah cos he wants you to get more involved in his life he likes you more than sex

[Dazzler1983]

Maybe he wants to send you pics and they are the only ones he's taking. I don't like people putting pics of their kids all over social media. You should just tell him not to send pics like that to you because it makes you feel bad.

[Asker]

He takes loads of pictures of her but won't put them on social media

[AcidT0y]

If you actually felt guilty you probably wouldn't have continued this fir 8 months 🤣

[Iron_Man]

It’s very bad to have an affair

[Asker]

No shit... Not something I planned.

[Iron_Man]

They grow up and walk away