Should I tell my girlfriend that I have brother rivalry issues?

[Sandip_das]

I have two brothers (one is 32 and other one is 28 and im 24) they are pretty jealous about my accomplishment of my life. even they are jealous of having my prettiest girlfriend or i don't know if they're jealous of my future life (i don't know which one)

in 2017 older brother made my mother to do something about destroy the computer (this is where i learn something on skillshare and personal stuff) . My older brother gave her this decision.. guys i don't know why. She didn't know this is the worst thing doing this. But she didn't understand what she was doing. Now my mother regrets why would she do that...

Even they were trying to make a “scene situation” in front of people.. like im a immature or poor mentality or my age like 11 thats it and that's what i realized...

Older brother checks my stuff what i do.. to know what i am doing..

Middle brother he beats me for my older brother and my mother doesn't know and even she couldn't do anything about that bcoz she’s afraid that "what if they are gone forever or about lack of financial support"

Middle brother told me that he could do everything about me finding a job but he didn't (he was lying.. to make me delayed or failure in life.. it was 2016 dec)

Actually I don't know what they are doing to me. Why are they doing to me? is it about my girlfriend or something else?

Oh my older bro married a girl who was 23(arrange m.) She was a chemistry and he made her wife to do something about my father. to make him heart disease. Like with substances or chemical liquid stuff (he hates him for giving him bad studies/education and they don't even know what they want in life) and now he divorced her by doing these things. bcoz his wife was tired to do this thats why she's gone

Updates

+1 y

I can't WRITE LONG STORY ANYMORE...
My question is should i my tell my girlfriend about my past life?
I'm scared that if she wouldn't like me or avoid me because of my family.
she does love me... cared about me…
Oh one thing my father actually talk to this girl so i think im pretty sure my brothers used to get jealous becoz of this

Ps i want an answer why theyre doing it to me? Why they harm me?

Updates

+1 y

do you think she would forget me?
bcoz she loves me but we didn't talk to her for 4yrs becoz of her parents.
still waiting.
i want her to know this bcoz in the future we will be in trouble by my siblings.
would it be a deal-breaking?

[btbc92]

That is unhealthy. And she deserves to know the truth and nothing but the truth. I hear something like that I would have not invested at all. That is something that is between you and your brother but she is getting way too it involved and she has every right at that point to know what in the world she is getting herself into when dating you. If you think that you was going to separate what is happening in your family from your dating life , then you're sadly mistaken. You better tell her immediately because now she's getting dragged into it.

[Sandip_das]

do you think she would think im unconfident/lack of personality if i tell her this? but im not,
my mom and dad would never do this. but my brother made them doing these things. my parents loves me more than them. my parent actually liked this girl. but my brother they are not

[Sandip_das]

and no we never talk each other bcoz of her parents. she is waiting until marriage

[btbc92]

It's a simple matter of what is your intention with this relationship and why are you dating this girl. Because your family dysfunction should not be hurting her and it is. It has nothing to do about you being like taking a personality because everybody is born with a personality. If anything should be questioning if you have any character at all. Because a person that behaves the way are you behaving shows that you're dishonest and that is a major red flag. If your parents and your family is so crazy you need to remove them out of your life so you can work on living your life. It's going to be hard, because that's your family and your blood. But if they acting like whatever, and you know this, you got a choice to stay with it or to get out of there. This is not healthy at all. And I don't believe anybody should be having that kind of issue without even telling a person before they even get involved in a relationship. She was entitled to that information before she got involved with you. The worst thing you can do is try to impress a person to try to pretend like you don't got problems.

[btbc92]

I don't know what kind of arrangement is this. If this is an arranged marriage you better say something now because if you don't say anything that could be considered as marriage fraud and it's going to lead you into even bigger problems.

[Sandip_das]

oh i understand your point.
i will tell her.

oh hey do you think would leave me?

[Sandip_das]

oh hey do you think she would leave me?

[btbc92]

It ain't about if she will or won't. It's a simple matter of her choice. She gets to make the decision and is better for her to make it herself instead of wasting your time in her time. That way you can be with people who are better for you. But other than that if she leaves can you really blame her? You should have told her then.

[Sandip_das]

i will do my best to tell her the truth about me and my past days. she's waiting for me, you know 9 years. she knows her family and she can handle them.

[Sandip_das]

hi, can i tell her that my brother did something terrible with my father? like heart disease. you know my girlfriend had talked to my father. it was 3 years ago.
"she told him to wait until things settled otherwise if my parent knows our affair her parents wouldn't be comfortable with us again in the future" so that means something. huh? (to keep a secret from her parents. she doesn't want me to call her or not seeing each other until marriage)
if I tell her that my older brother's wife made my father a heart disease. what do you think she would feel?

[Sandip_das]

im sorry i have two accounts of gag. please dont mind my other account. bcoz my brother checks my stuff what im doing. forget it

[btbc92]

You decide that. But the more truthful you are. The more understanding she can gather to make a informed decision. She will grow to respect you more.

[Hangry22]

If you actually loved and trusted her, you wouldn't have hesitated to tell her baout your family troubles

[Hangry22]

*about

[Sandip_das]

may i know "why"?

[Hangry22]

Trusting her completely means knowing that she will accept you for who you are and not how your family is. Your thinking what she might think of you if she knew about this. Something which you didn't have any control. If she loves you, she will understand you and share your burdens

[Sandip_das]

i didn't tell her since 3 years. becoz i didn't notice anything in my family circumstances, like what was going on? whats happening? becoz i trusted my brother they were behave towards me in whole my life and my parents too. my parents would never hurt me but my brothers made them doing these things. you know manipulation. in 2018 my awareness was turned up and then i realize they were doing worst things becoz of my loved ones. my brothers are selfish and does compares me sometimes like what can i do with abilities, talents thats it..

maybe its time to tell her the truth,

[Hangry22]

Youshoukld. It's more like venting about your feelings

[Sandip_das]

oh before i tell her,
do you think she might think im kind of a weaker not to do anything like handling this situation?
bcoz, i want to live with my parents. but i want to tell her the truth about my brothers only. they are much selfish, manipulator. consoler... that's it..
pls answer

[Hangry22]

No. Every strong person has some weakness. She isn't gonn think anything of thta sort. If she has sense, she will be happy that you trusted her enough to confide in her

[Hangry22]

*that

[Sandip_das]

hmm i understand. middle brother once told me when nobody's home. he said "i wish one day i will put you in a jail for lifetime!!!"

that makes me realize that he will (with making a scene) but im afraid to tell her (lover) that. maybe she can help me in the future. you know, i already told my dad secretly, he will do something before he dies.

i think if i tell her that - you think i should tell her about making a friend like who studies court, judgement, lawyer.

what do you think?

[Hangry22]

She won't think of you as weak. Everyone gets scared. Stop overthinking

[Sandip_das]

hi, can i tell her that my brother did something terrible with my father? like heart disease. you know my girlfriend had talked to my father. it was 3 years ago.
"she told him to wait until things settled otherwise if my parent knows our affair, it will be ruined and her parents wouldn't be comfortable with us again in the future" so that means something. huh? (to keep a secret from her parents. she doesn't want me to call her or not seeing each other until marriage)
if I tell her that my older brother's wife made my father a heart disease. what do you think she would feel? >this is important<

ps i understand the fact you said " She won't think of you as weak. Everyone gets scared. Stop overthinking "

[Hangry22]

If you don't feel comfortable saying thay, don't do it now. Don't dump everything on her at the same time. Start with how your brothers treat you and then see her reaction and go forward with it

[Sandip_das]

i already know my brothers reaction. I've seen/known everything about them. they did something worse in the past and even now. they used to abuse/bullying/harassing my mother and father just a minor bully. they do same thing to me too. im not a fool or they can't even manipulate me. if they do something suspicious, i feel it without knowing them.

they bully/harassing when they gets the opportunity in time. they even show me and my parents love
(its fake and to play with me/my parents emotions to grow them back). my parents know they did something abominable things. you want to know why? the more my parents gets weaker, the more chance they die faster in times. and me, kill me or kicks me out.

now my older brothers getting married again in few months from now. i will be more careful (i already told my parents to grow awareness. that's a good thing).

[Anonymous]

I’d separate from this family and live my own life much happier

[Sandip_das]

do you think she would think im unconfident/lack of personality if i tell her this? but im not,
my mom and dad would never do this. but my brother made them doing these things.

[Sandip_das]

my parents loves me more than them.

[Avicenna]

Yeah, she should know

[Sandip_das]

dont you think she would think my mom and dad is the worst parent?

[Sandip_das]

my mom and dad would never do this. but my brothers made them doing these things.

[Iron_Man]

Go to group family therapy

[iseekpinetrees]

Yes.

[Sandip_das]

what do you mean "yes"?
you mean it would be a deal-breaking to her? and leaving me?