If I had a son who I found out was beating his own girlfriend I would send my husband his father to give him a dose of what he's been giving to his defenseless girlfriend and I would call her family to come get her and take her home. If anything else happened after that if they reconciled and again something happened cbetween them that was violent, I'd report it to the police and have them both thrown in jail. Her for being stupid and going back to him and him for being stupid by not learning to stop abusing weaker people than himself and starting the vicious cycle all over again! I don't condone any behaviors like this and I can't stand when couples argue and scream at each other and hit each other, it's agressive, violent, domineering and insane. I'd do that same thing too if I had a daughter who was abusive to her husband or her kids too. All of it is wrong. I don't think that enabling this kind of behavior brings anything good at all.
Yeah you are probably right but, it should be possible. Maybe a lot of women would still be alive today if there was a law that made battered women go to jail for going back to their abusive spouses and boyfriends. I once knew a woman from my parish who was a really kind and God fearing woman who had a violent teenage son who beat up a couple of his girlfriends in the past, she tried to get him to come to church more and asked people to pray for him. Later some of the church committee members and my grandmother saw her come to adoration prayers at the church with visible bruises on her face and when they got upset and tried to tell her she needed to press charges she just kept saying "he's my son, just pray for him and things may change." God rest her 😔 a month later she was dead. He 19 year old son strangled her and buried her body in the backyard. He's doing life in prison now and I wish to god there was a way to have thrown her in jail to save her own life because her enabling of her son's behavior was her undoing. Mrs. Valencia was my catechism teacher and a pillar in the community, her compassion and kindness unfortunately was the catalyst in her own death.
Well you can see where & why the stepson thinks his behavior is acceptable. From your mother. Any decent mother would've smacked him upside the head the first time & if he continued talked the girl into leaving and/or served as a witness of his abuse to the police.
Family isn't an excuse for immoral behavior unless the family member excusing it is also immoral. That she blames the girl indicates that your mother is as immoral as her stepson (no offense just fact). I would not be surprised if your mother is the sort that would take the side of a child molester & blame the child.
My suggestion is talk with the girlfriend and/or report the behavior to the police yourself. Your mother obviously thinks he's in the right & the girlfriend "deserves" what she gets.
Do yourself a favor... stay out of it. Nothing good can come from interfering in other peoples relationships unless they directly ask you for it.
If she's defending him, and even the Mum has the mentality of "what's the issue", then that tells me there's a lot more going on in that relationship that is out of your control, ie, they're co-dependent, and the whole "victim-perpetrator" thing doesn't work to explain that situation. She's in that situation because she is choosing to be in that situation. Stay out of it, or you're asking for trouble. In this case, your Mums right.
She should be in jail with her son for accomplice, one for doing the damage and the second for standing up watching and letting it happen. Feel bad for the girl she should leave him and go back with her family because no matter what anybody says that's not love, that's abuse.
Your mom is being an enabler. And no offense, but I think she's a horrible person (based on the way she is acting in this situation). It makes me wonder, though: is she scared of her stepson (your stepbrother)? Has your stepbrother ever hit your mom? Did she ever face physical violence from either of her husbands?
And I think you should think about where you come into the picture here. I think you should take action. If he tries it again, and you are there, maybe you should step in. Or, at the very least, get video evidence and report it to the police. Something needs to be done here. This woman cannot continue to be beaten like this. You can't allow this to go on.
Yikes... That kid learned it from somewhere and it sounds like mom went through the same shit the girlfriend is now going through.
I'd step in, but I also am childfree, so I'll never have a kid.
But if I had a friend whose kid did that, I'd definitely step in.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
About 18. He was 26. I held off sex with my boyfriend for about 4 years. We started off making out, dry humping, touching, then i let him jerk off over my breasts or my butt, I started giving him handjobs and blowjobs. He was always horny and one creative way i found to stay a virgin was to get naked or semi naked except for a small thong and grind my pussy up against his naked penis until he cums, another way was to let him thrust between my thighs from behind or on top. We tried anal but it hurt and I couldn't take more than the tip fortunately he came quickly. One time I was on top grinding up against his hard cock, he was cumming and I was in the zone just about to cum for the first time, well some how my soaking wet thong parted to the side and his dick just slid in just as he was cumming, I came myself. It felt really good inside but I was terrified because I wasn't on any contraception. That's how I lost my virginity.
Absolutely. I'll make sure I tell my children to treat people with respect, especially women. I'm responsible for his upbringing, so I will be responsible and I will make sure he learns some basic manners. I will be very upset , and disappointed in him if he hit his girlfriend.
If he hits his girlfriend occasionally or frequently, we'll have a serious father and son chat. I will advice him to change his demeanor towards his girlfriend and he has to take anger management classes, that's non-negotiable. Also, I wwill advice my son to take boxing/kickboxing lessons so he can release his anger and frustrations on a punching bag instead of his girlfriend.
I hope anger management classes and boxing/kickboxing lessons will be enough, otherwise I have to find something else that might work.
Your mom should resolve everything if possible and no never beat a girl, a coward can only attack a girl in my opinion. Even you should get in and tell your stepbrother to be a MAN. He can follow me: How I deal with when I am angry with a girl, I just don't talk and walk away. A healthy conversation is always essential and enough for all misunderstandings. The girl also needs to understand the borderline for love , else find someone worthy of love not an asshole, if your brother would have beaten in front of me that way, I would have punched him so hard that he would return with a set of teeth in his hands, well I would have never let it happen in the first place. oh god ! my blood boils to answer such questions.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
That's really strange that the cops would just take her word for it and leave! Those are some terrific law enforcement people there. There was probably more to that than I know though (like maybe they didn't know what they were investigating?).
If it were MY son, that's a tough call. I definitely don't agree with it, and I'd like to think no son of my would ever do such a thing, but it would depend a lot on his age I think. Like if he's technically an adult, I really can't do much but to let him know that I don't agree with it or like it.
Jfc this all sounds like a toxic situation. Idc if it’s my own brother, if I know a guy is abusing his girlfriend I’m giving that girl resources, a runaway bag, and helping her go to the police. And if I EVER catch my own kin pulling that shit I am outing them even harder cause I’ve fucking taught my boys better than that
id jus ask why the fuck he's dating someone he doesn't like? what’s the point of that? clearly if ur hurting them u dont love them or even like them for that matter, u would never wanna hurt someone u love
id tell him to get into a relationship with a girl he likes, not hates, and tell him its fucked up and asshole ish what he's doing
fighting solves nothing we all need to come together and treat each other with respect and all be friendly to one another, if u got anger issues u need to solve that and learn how to let go of anger and not be affected by it, jus sorta blow it out, dont allow urself to get angry, its stupid and only retards can't control their emotions
there's nothing to be angery about anyway, its all in ur head, unless she is talking to you with a bitchy annoying attitude, in that case its justified to be mad at her, but be mad at her in a different way... instead verbally insult her and push her away and cut contact and give the silent treatment instead of beating her
I believe I'd make them breakup. She should go to therapy and he should either go to jail or any special therapy for abusers. The behaviors of both are flawed and they need help. A normal person doesn't beats up their loved one, neither have such low-self esteem to love someone that beat them up.
I would turn him in to the cops myself, make sure he spends jail time and have arrangements with a psychologist myself to see where did I fail him. I would feel like a failure as a mother. It doesn't matter if it's your own blood or not, abusing your partner is wrong and illegal. It should be punished.
Of course I would do something! I would have a serious conversation with him and tell him how disappointed I am with his behavior and probably go to the police this would probably break my heart but I can never agree with any form of domestic violence even if the agressor is my son or a relative. I'll support his girlfriend too.
Yes! The fact the word occasionally is in there does not justify the actions. If you only occasionally rape someone then is that ok! Let’s look at this.. Once I hit my girlfriend (but never again)... you could argue we all make mistakes Every day I got my girlfriend... he needs locking up... coz that’s in his total being! But the absolute worst is the person that does it occasionally! Because they are in control of the situation and can pick and choose when! That is sick!
Not just your mother, everyone should tell on that bastard, punish him and protect the poor girl.
Not sure if this is where you live, but in US people who witness a crime, a murder, an illegal act, something suspicious and don't report it to the police are charged for complicity.
Even though there isn't where you live, it is still wrong on covering and excusing him.
I would ensure he suffers severe consequences for it. For a start, I'd let him get arrested. I would be ashamed and disgusted that my own son used his brain to rationalize that doing such an abhorrent thing was okay. Protecting him will only teach him that he can do bad things and get away with it. If he cuts ties with me for not rescuing him from this, I'd say good riddance.
The risks of one's children turning out like this as young adults is one of the reasons I'm not having kids.
Yes i would step in especially if I taught him to never start a fight especially with a women or someone they love, i would even make him go apologize to her and her family, and if you she wants to press charges I will support her, he needs to understand that his actions have consequences, and you have to pay for it
Damn... imagine your own child being a demon 😂 Being a parent doesn’t stop when the kid is an adult. If you enable shitty behavior you are partly to blame ESPECIALLY if it’s at the expense of another’s safety and well-being. Karma is gonna get you.
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If I had a son who I found out was beating his own girlfriend I would send my husband his father to give him a dose of what he's been giving to his defenseless girlfriend and I would call her family to come get her and take her home. If anything else happened after that if they reconciled and again something happened cbetween them that was violent, I'd report it to the police and have them both thrown in jail. Her for being stupid and going back to him and him for being stupid by not learning to stop abusing weaker people than himself and starting the vicious cycle all over again! I don't condone any behaviors like this and I can't stand when couples argue and scream at each other and hit each other, it's agressive, violent, domineering and insane. I'd do that same thing too if I had a daughter who was abusive to her husband or her kids too. All of it is wrong. I don't think that enabling this kind of behavior brings anything good at all.
I agree with everything except getting her thrown in jail (which I don't believe is technically possible anyway.)
Yeah you are probably right but, it should be possible. Maybe a lot of women would still be alive today if there was a law that made battered women go to jail for going back to their abusive spouses and boyfriends. I once knew a woman from my parish who was a really kind and God fearing woman who had a violent teenage son who beat up a couple of his girlfriends in the past, she tried to get him to come to church more and asked people to pray for him. Later some of the church committee members and my grandmother saw her come to adoration prayers at the church with visible bruises on her face and when they got upset and tried to tell her she needed to press charges she just kept saying "he's my son, just pray for him and things may change." God rest her 😔 a month later she was dead. He 19 year old son strangled her and buried her body in the backyard. He's doing life in prison now and I wish to god there was a way to have thrown her in jail to save her own life because her enabling of her son's behavior was her undoing. Mrs. Valencia was my catechism teacher and a pillar in the community, her compassion and kindness unfortunately was the catalyst in her own death.
Omg...
Well you can see where & why the stepson thinks his behavior is acceptable. From your mother. Any decent mother would've smacked him upside the head the first time & if he continued talked the girl into leaving and/or served as a witness of his abuse to the police.
Family isn't an excuse for immoral behavior unless the family member excusing it is also immoral. That she blames the girl indicates that your mother is as immoral as her stepson (no offense just fact). I would not be surprised if your mother is the sort that would take the side of a child molester & blame the child.
My suggestion is talk with the girlfriend and/or report the behavior to the police yourself. Your mother obviously thinks he's in the right & the girlfriend "deserves" what she gets.
Do yourself a favor... stay out of it. Nothing good can come from interfering in other peoples relationships unless they directly ask you for it.
If she's defending him, and even the Mum has the mentality of "what's the issue", then that tells me there's a lot more going on in that relationship that is out of your control, ie, they're co-dependent, and the whole "victim-perpetrator" thing doesn't work to explain that situation.
She's in that situation because she is choosing to be in that situation. Stay out of it, or you're asking for trouble. In this case, your Mums right.
She should be in jail with her son for accomplice, one for doing the damage and the second for standing up watching and letting it happen.
Feel bad for the girl she should leave him and go back with her family because no matter what anybody says that's not love, that's abuse.
Your mom is being an enabler.
And no offense, but I think she's a horrible person (based on the way she is acting in this situation).
It makes me wonder, though: is she scared of her stepson (your stepbrother)? Has your stepbrother ever hit your mom? Did she ever face physical violence from either of her husbands?
And I think you should think about where you come into the picture here. I think you should take action. If he tries it again, and you are there, maybe you should step in. Or, at the very least, get video evidence and report it to the police.
Something needs to be done here. This woman cannot continue to be beaten like this. You can't allow this to go on.
Yikes... That kid learned it from somewhere and it sounds like mom went through the same shit the girlfriend is now going through.
I'd step in, but I also am childfree, so I'll never have a kid.
But if I had a friend whose kid did that, I'd definitely step in.
About 18. He was 26. I held off sex with my boyfriend for about 4 years. We started off making out, dry humping, touching, then i let him jerk off over my breasts or my butt, I started giving him handjobs and blowjobs. He was always horny and one creative way i found to stay a virgin was to get naked or semi naked except for a small thong and grind my pussy up against his naked penis until he cums, another way was to let him thrust between my thighs from behind or on top. We tried anal but it hurt and I couldn't take more than the tip fortunately he came quickly. One time I was on top grinding up against his hard cock, he was cumming and I was in the zone just about to cum for the first time, well some how my soaking wet thong parted to the side and his dick just slid in just as he was cumming, I came myself. It felt really good inside but I was terrified because I wasn't on any contraception. That's how I lost my virginity.
uh wrong question
Absolutely. I'll make sure I tell my children to treat people with respect, especially women. I'm responsible for his upbringing, so I will be responsible and I will make sure he learns some basic manners. I will be very upset , and disappointed in him if he hit his girlfriend.
If he hits his girlfriend occasionally or frequently, we'll have a serious father and son chat. I will advice him to change his demeanor towards his girlfriend and he has to take anger management classes, that's non-negotiable. Also, I wwill advice my son to take boxing/kickboxing lessons so he can release his anger and frustrations on a punching bag instead of his girlfriend.
I hope anger management classes and boxing/kickboxing lessons will be enough, otherwise I have to find something else that might work.
Your mom should resolve everything if possible and no never beat a girl, a coward can only attack a girl in my opinion.
Even you should get in and tell your stepbrother to be a MAN.
He can follow me:
How I deal with when I am angry with a girl, I just don't talk and walk away.
A healthy conversation is always essential and enough for all misunderstandings.
The girl also needs to understand the borderline for love , else find someone worthy of love not an asshole,
if your brother would have beaten in front of me that way, I would have punched him so hard that he would return with a set of teeth in his hands, well I would have never let it happen in the first place.
oh god ! my blood boils to answer such questions.
That's really strange that the cops would just take her word for it and leave! Those are some terrific law enforcement people there. There was probably more to that than I know though (like maybe they didn't know what they were investigating?).
If it were MY son, that's a tough call. I definitely don't agree with it, and I'd like to think no son of my would ever do such a thing, but it would depend a lot on his age I think. Like if he's technically an adult, I really can't do much but to let him know that I don't agree with it or like it.
Jfc this all sounds like a toxic situation. Idc if it’s my own brother, if I know a guy is abusing his girlfriend I’m giving that girl resources, a runaway bag, and helping her go to the police. And if I EVER catch my own kin pulling that shit I am outing them even harder cause I’ve fucking taught my boys better than that
Are you a mother?
id jus ask why the fuck he's dating someone he doesn't like? what’s the point of that?
clearly if ur hurting them u dont love them or even like them for that matter, u would never wanna hurt someone u love
id tell him to get into a relationship with a girl he likes, not hates,
and tell him its fucked up and asshole ish what he's doing
fighting solves nothing
we all need to come together and treat each other with respect and all be friendly to one another,
if u got anger issues u need to solve that and learn how to let go of anger and not be affected by it, jus sorta blow it out, dont allow urself to get angry, its stupid and only retards can't control their emotions
there's nothing to be angery about anyway, its all in ur head, unless she is talking to you with a bitchy annoying attitude, in that case its justified to be mad at her, but be mad at her in a different way... instead verbally insult her and push her away and cut contact and give the silent treatment instead of beating her
I believe I'd make them breakup. She should go to therapy and he should either go to jail or any special therapy for abusers. The behaviors of both are flawed and they need help. A normal person doesn't beats up their loved one, neither have such low-self esteem to love someone that beat them up.
I would turn him in to the cops myself, make sure he spends jail time and have arrangements with a psychologist myself to see where did I fail him. I would feel like a failure as a mother.
It doesn't matter if it's your own blood or not, abusing your partner is wrong and illegal. It should be punished.
Of course I would do something! I would have a serious conversation with him and tell him how disappointed I am with his behavior and probably go to the police this would probably break my heart but I can never agree with any form of domestic violence even if the agressor is my son or a relative. I'll support his girlfriend too.
Yes! The fact the word occasionally is in there does not justify the actions. If you only occasionally rape someone then is that ok!
Let’s look at this..
Once I hit my girlfriend (but never again)... you could argue we all make mistakes
Every day I got my girlfriend... he needs locking up... coz that’s in his total being!
But the absolute worst is the person that does it occasionally! Because they are in control of the situation and can pick and choose when! That is sick!
Not just your mother, everyone should tell on that bastard, punish him and protect the poor girl.
Not sure if this is where you live, but in US people who witness a crime, a murder, an illegal act, something suspicious and don't report it to the police are charged for complicity.
Even though there isn't where you live, it is still wrong on covering and excusing him.
I would ensure he suffers severe consequences for it. For a start, I'd let him get arrested. I would be ashamed and disgusted that my own son used his brain to rationalize that doing such an abhorrent thing was okay. Protecting him will only teach him that he can do bad things and get away with it. If he cuts ties with me for not rescuing him from this, I'd say good riddance.
The risks of one's children turning out like this as young adults is one of the reasons I'm not having kids.
Yes i would step in especially if I taught him to never start a fight especially with a women or someone they love, i would even make him go apologize to her and her family, and if you she wants to press charges I will support her, he needs to understand that his actions have consequences, and you have to pay for it
Damn... imagine your own child being a demon 😂
Being a parent doesn’t stop when the kid is an adult. If you enable shitty behavior you are partly to blame ESPECIALLY if it’s at the expense of another’s safety and well-being. Karma is gonna get you.