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I'm in a relationship and I've had depression for about 14 years now. I don't take medication for it, although it might be worth looking into. It's difficult but when you find someone understanding, it's nice. Althoughy guy doesn't understand what I'm going through, he tries. Sometimes he says the wrong thing and believes some of the stigma around mental health, but he listens when I try to correct him and tries to correct it himself. It's so difficult loving someone with depression but when you find the right person to take on the job it makes you feel a little supported. In the end, you have to continue to do the work to make yourself feel better, separate your depression from your relationship by doing the work and not creating a codependency or use them to make you feel better. If you need to, I'd recommend taking time to develop your "tool box" or techniques you've learned to pull yourself out of a depressing episode (or even one where you feel apathy). Then, once you've done that, and have a resource for getting more when the ones you used to use no longer work, you can try to get into a relationship. If you can do this while in a relationship, great! If not, take the time to do it alone. Also, creating a safe space in the relationship to tell your S. O. that you're feeling depressed or whatever is crucial and do not hide how you're feeling because that will hurt you more and could hurt your relationship. The right person will be there for support but also make sure they do not feel pressured too "save" you.
This is a valid question. But are you getting therapy and counseling? Have you asked this question of your therapist? What does she or he say?
I would work through my depression issues before I'd be looking for a relationship. You can't do two things at one time and depression is an illness.
Here's a few parallels: Would you be looking for a relationship if you were in the middle of cancer treatment? You were on a waiting list for a kidney? You were in a drug rehab outpatient program? You were 12 stepping through AA?
Those are all serious illnesses that require your complete focus and concentration. They require you to TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE.
I realize you're probably lonely and struggling, but you cannot expect anyone else to be your nursemaid. It's unfair to the other person.
And take your time right AFTER you feel better, too.
I know someone who was clinically depressed for a long time, felt better then immediately got pregnant. She had no job, no permanent relationship with the father, nowhere to live, besides her mother's house. She was 36.
Her mother is physically very ill. Yet, this woman has used her mother's home as her jumping off point, after a year of living with her mother, primarily, and dumping her infant on her mother as babysitter, she's finally returned to part-time work, but is STILL struggling with depression.
So, don't make any happytime decisions that will change your life like getting into a serious relationship when you haven't worked through your big issue-- depression and its likely recurrence.
Who's going to take care of business if you plunge into depression again? If you are seriously depressed, you won't care a whit about that other person or anything else.
Wait.
No. Stay away from me please! There has never been a single good relationship that came from someone getting involved with someone else who was a head case and constantly depressed. If you have no control over your emotions you shouldn't be loading that onto other people. Speaking from personal experience people who suffer from depression will still be depressed regardless of how you treat them, or what you say to them. On top of that someone who is clinically depressed is more likely to ghost you than someone who is not on account of them being too depressed to actually stick to their date, much less get ready for that date. Then if you try to invest yourself emotionally with someone who's clinically depressed you simply just end up getting depressed as well. So no, it doesn't make sense for you to get into a relationship while you are dealing with your depression. Good luck!
Depression is incurable. I know it because I myself am.
https://www.theodysseyonline.com/depression-is-incurable
https://screening.mhanational.org/content/depression-curable
https://www.quora.com/Is-depression-an-incurable-illness?share=1
https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/comments/292375/cmv_severe_depression_is_incurable/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_incurable_diseases#D
If you do not date because you're depressed, then I hope you're content dying alone and without being loved or even kissed. Ever.
Go nuts. Live life. Enjoy hobbies and activities. Kick asses. Life's too short once you start making more money than you can expend comfortably.
Opinion
14Opinion
Good questions that I can't answer myself either. I tell myself that I want to work on myself, be independent, have things under control but I don't know if it'll take 2 years, 5 years or my entire life to get where I want to be. So does it make sense to wait? But at the same time if I don't have my own shit under control does it make sense to date which could bring more responsibilities and risks? I don't think there's any good answers. I don't feel ready atm I still have other stuff to do so I'll stay on my course. I'm just gonna have to go for it when I feel like it's the right time.
Even though meds don't work for some people, including me, I think getting into a relationship is my ideal.
It also depends on what made us depressed in the first place. I have made a solution for myself about going to college and going to a 4y after the 2y. Once I'm up and away, I don't have to see the people who caused my depression anymore. So... While I am a thousand miles away from them, I can focus about what is in front of me and try to slowly slip away from my depression as I try to distract myself from my past. It can be a working progress.
I think it's dangerous to date while having depression. I had depression when I was a teenager, so I know what it feels like. It's important to work on yourself and not depend on other people for happiness, especially if there's a chance they could leave. It could be very dangerous.
Its okay to date while you have depression but your partner needs to not have it. 2 wrongs dont make a right. To be able to handle your mood swings he'll need to not be broken himself. So that he may think clearly in any situation with you that arises. Also you need to be aware of your moods and not push them onto your relationship.
Tbh I think to date someone you need to be a good space mentally. I feel like by working on yourself and doing things to heal from depression. You’re able to put yourself in a better position to have a healthy, happy and successful relationship. There’s nothing wrong with looking after yourself, it’s really important, you need to do that first before you date anyone. When you do that, you’ll thank yourself for it.
You should.
Believe me or not, among men there is enough boys who have a desire to save someone. My female friend got multiple sclerosis with 19. Her relationship before first symptoms of this illness wasn't especially good. However her guy didn't leave her like 90% of guys would do. He started to care for her, he found a life goal in making her comfortable in remaining years of her life.
Of course assholes like me laughed about him, but deep inside I admired his courage and determination to help that girl as good as possible.
I don't think that is a good idea mam. When a person is in a state of depression at that time he or she must focus on themselves more and try to get better.
I don't mean you should be alone you should be with friends, family or your partner but not start dating when you are depressed because relationship need work.
It makes sense but it can be very difficult. Some people think their relationship is sunny days every day, but those relationships usually don't last for that long. Even though a lot of people don't always admit it, they don't like being with sad or depressed people, they want to be with happy people. However, if you find someone that can accept you when you are depressed, you know that person is someone for you that can stay with you in any weather.
It's tough. I think it depends on the individual. If you have serious mental health issues. You shouldn't date because you're going to put it all on your new partner. Most people can't handle that.
You* means people in general and not you asker.
No, because then you become fully dependent on your partner emotionally & physically. You need to be happy. When you're happy and positive that attracts more people to you, and all a partner has to do is add to your happiness. It's normal to be depressed SOMETIMES but you don't have to let it take control of you. You need to break out of that shell and level up 😘
The problem is that you could spread your depression upon your partner, an he/she could leave because it's not a parent, but a partner.
I lived this. It's strange. It feels like feeling love for a child.
Depression is fairly equivocal. We’re all somewhere on the spectrum. It also tends to be rather prevailing throughout one’s life. I wouldn’t put your life on hold, but make sure you’re getting the help you need first.
It makes sense to want to date while having depression but dating while being depressed can be really tricky.
I personally would encourage anyone who has depression to take a break from dating and work on their mental health.
It’s not the greatest idea simply because it’s easy to associate someone as being apart of your coping mechanism. But on the other hand if that person is truly into you it could be a bundle of joy
It’s not good to try to begin a new intimate relationship during your lows, but it’s definitely okay to continue one that’s been there before.
Loneliness does not improve depression. Humans need each other.
I don’t think so because you can clearly damage anyone else in the way and they will never make you happy
Sometimes the person you're dating could be a big help to you.
Yeah its definitely tough, and I honestly struggle with it also. But who knows, the right person may be able to pull you up out of that slump.
No stay away from depressed people
don’t date them neither encourage them to date. Coz both parties will end up ducked at the end.
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