Where do you draw the line between devotion and obsession?

Question

I mean, I get told I'm lucky she's very loyal to me, but I like to joke it's obsession on her part and up to a point it actually is. It's always a thin line that separates loyalty and mental illness.
What about you?
Where do you draw the line between loyalty and obsession?

Answer 1

Jonn123

Xper 5

I draw the line when people take action. Of course obsession can manifest itself as thoughts, and it often does. But that's really common I'd say, and it's sort of a paradox that the more we tell ourselves we want to forget something, the more our brain thinks about it. My point is, that most people at some point have thought a lot (obsessed) about a specific thing, person or something else.

However, I feel like the line between devotion and obsession or loyalty and obsession as you call it, is when the person begins acting on their thoughts. That manifests itself as stalking, insecurities and other toxic forms of behavior. I also think that the only real way to know if someone is obsessed or devoted, is through their actions, because you literally don't know their thoughts unless they specifically let you in on them.

Jonn123

23 d
Oh! And I should mention that often times, loyalty connotates something positive that would make you feel good. While obsession connotates something negative that would make you feel bad. For example if your partner is a little jealous, it makes you feel good because you feel wanted and desired. But if your partner starts snooping through your phone, then it feels bad.

So again, there's a line between the manifestation of obsession through either thoughts or actions
Jean-Marie_Céline

23 d
Excellent answer

Answer 2

Jonn123

Oh! And I should mention that often times, loyalty connotates something positive that would make you feel good. While obsession connotates something negative that would make you feel bad. For example if your partner is a little jealous, it makes you feel good because you feel wanted and desired. But if your partner starts snooping through your phone, then it feels bad.

So again, there's a line between the manifestation of obsession through either thoughts or actions

Answer 3

Jean-Marie_Céline

Excellent answer

Answer 4

Demosiac

Xper 5

Comfort zone. If one party crosses the line of the other's comfort zone to assert dominance or control, then it's not devotion.

Devotion is devotion, but the primary purpose of a relationship is to be together and happy together, devotion is only a means to that.

Answer 5

Newhead | 86 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 6

lol we cannot help you to learn your soul lesson, that is on you to know your own situation. If you know it's obsession you will either die or learn and move on, or let her suck the life out of you. If she really is a nice girl and you're paranoid then you will lose out because you don't use your intuition. We don't know your life, you do.

Answer 6

psychoticanimallover | 86 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 6

Oh I don’t know Jean, somewhere between a box of chocolates and a human skull I suppose?

Answer 7

razelove | 213 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Explorer

Well, tell her you need her to kill someone completely rando and give her a rock. If she starts taking off like she's going to do it, change your name and run.

Jean-Marie_Céline

21 d
You joke, but she did send a guy to the hospital some years ago.
razelove

21 d
... I wasn't joking, if she's willing to brain someone else with a rock because you say it's so, run, run very far and change your name. I had 2 women like that in my life and I used them up until they were dry like a tube of toothpaste. But I was younger and convinced of oh so many things. Also it is kind of hot to see a girl mace someone else and then wreck their face on concrete.

Maturity is realizing if you stop being their idol, they'll do the same to you in your sleep.
Jean-Marie_Céline

21 d
I understand.
I honestly think that you have to be a certain type that makes you attract messed up women.
My mother and my sister are fairly crazy, so I think that growing up around such people makes you a magnet.
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razelove

21 d
That's true as well, until I was about, hmm, your age now, I went after the birdies with broken wings because it was easier and more fun. They also give a lot of presents... so that parts really nice. I guess a lot of things changed for me when I was thinking of what I was doing compared to what my goals were.

I wanted a house and a family, but I was having ONS, NSA, and relationships with women I didn't care too much about, they just did things for me and made me feel less lonely. My lifestyle at the time was a wreck too. I took college more seriously, cut out a lot of the crap, started sleeping with more sane women I would at least, you know, want to carry a conversation with and hear what she's saying. If the life you're living isn't conflicting with your goals, I'd say keep on keeping on though. Not everyone's situation is the same.

Answer 8

Jean-Marie_Céline

You joke, but she did send a guy to the hospital some years ago.

Answer 9

razelove

... I wasn't joking, if she's willing to brain someone else with a rock because you say it's so, run, run very far and change your name. I had 2 women like that in my life and I used them up until they were dry like a tube of toothpaste. But I was younger and convinced of oh so many things. Also it is kind of hot to see a girl mace someone else and then wreck their face on concrete.

Maturity is realizing if you stop being their idol, they'll do the same to you in your sleep.

Answer 10

Jean-Marie_Céline

I understand.
I honestly think that you have to be a certain type that makes you attract messed up women.
My mother and my sister are fairly crazy, so I think that growing up around such people makes you a magnet.

Answer 11

razelove

That's true as well, until I was about, hmm, your age now, I went after the birdies with broken wings because it was easier and more fun. They also give a lot of presents... so that parts really nice. I guess a lot of things changed for me when I was thinking of what I was doing compared to what my goals were.

I wanted a house and a family, but I was having ONS, NSA, and relationships with women I didn't care too much about, they just did things for me and made me feel less lonely. My lifestyle at the time was a wreck too. I took college more seriously, cut out a lot of the crap, started sleeping with more sane women I would at least, you know, want to carry a conversation with and hear what she's saying. If the life you're living isn't conflicting with your goals, I'd say keep on keeping on though. Not everyone's situation is the same.

Answer 12

Unit1 | 4.3K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

Devotion - She met a rich man and saw his Lamborghini Rolls Royce (or he approached her) and she told him "WTF who do you think I am? Do you think I'm a whore?" and she stays with you.

Obsession - Mothers trying to phone their son every hour or so. Complains, that he doesn't call her while he works.

Answer 13

cunnilinguist

Xper 5

I don't draw the line anywhere. Bot are for the feeble-minded and the emotionally weak. Whatever rocks your boat tho.

Answer 14

JakeS00 | 61 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 5

I'm not sure. They both can be of the same thing, but obsession can most times be a clear thing to see. If it's devotion, I can see a passion, and that would mean loyalty.

Answer 15

Poppykate | 2K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

Just talk to her!

Jean-Marie_Céline

22 d
I know she's very obsessed even though she doesn't admit it
Poppykate

22 d
Well, you are her future husband. 🤔 and with love comes a certain level of passion that can look like obsession.
My main question to you is... why is it that you seem to focus on her perceived faults? 🤔 No one is perfect and everyone has faults, but while some individuals see things as faults, others see as endearing qualities. Sometimes in relationships, we will pick out faults because of fear, and a way to distance/protect ourselves. It is either because we are afraid of commitment (and thus getting hurt) or feel that the relationship is wrong and are afraid to end it and hurt the other person.
Jean-Marie_Céline

22 d
Because honestly I don't feel to really talk about her merits?
She has them, but it's easier to talk about what pisses me off.
Like right now, she and my mother are ignoring me and just doing their stuff and it's an hour to New Year.
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Poppykate

22 d
Although, I think that would frustrate any man. There are certain holidays that are ‘couples holidays’. New Years and Valentine’s Day are definitely at the top of the list! If she is ignoring you right now... who is she going to kiss on the countdown and welcome in the new year with? 💁🏻‍♀️ Your mother? Lol 😂
Jean-Marie_Céline

22 d
I hope not!
Poppykate

22 d
Happy new year! 🥳
Jean-Marie_Céline

22 d
Thank you, Happy New Year to you as well!
Here we have already opened all the bottles lol.
Jean-Marie_Céline

22 d
At least we managed to kiss lol.
Poppykate

21 d
Well done! That’s a big step forward, when you start from not talking.

Answer 16

Jean-Marie_Céline

I know she's very obsessed even though she doesn't admit it

Answer 17

Poppykate

Well, you are her future husband. 🤔 and with love comes a certain level of passion that can look like obsession.
My main question to you is... why is it that you seem to focus on her perceived faults? 🤔 No one is perfect and everyone has faults, but while some individuals see things as faults, others see as endearing qualities. Sometimes in relationships, we will pick out faults because of fear, and a way to distance/protect ourselves. It is either because we are afraid of commitment (and thus getting hurt) or feel that the relationship is wrong and are afraid to end it and hurt the other person.

Answer 18

Jean-Marie_Céline

Because honestly I don't feel to really talk about her merits?
She has them, but it's easier to talk about what pisses me off.
Like right now, she and my mother are ignoring me and just doing their stuff and it's an hour to New Year.

Answer 19

Poppykate

Although, I think that would frustrate any man. There are certain holidays that are ‘couples holidays’. New Years and Valentine’s Day are definitely at the top of the list! If she is ignoring you right now... who is she going to kiss on the countdown and welcome in the new year with? 💁🏻‍♀️ Your mother? Lol 😂

Answer 20

Jean-Marie_Céline

I hope not!

Answer 21

Poppykate

Happy new year! 🥳

Answer 22

Jean-Marie_Céline

Thank you, Happy New Year to you as well!
Here we have already opened all the bottles lol.

Answer 23

Jean-Marie_Céline

At least we managed to kiss lol.

Answer 24

Poppykate

Well done! That’s a big step forward, when you start from not talking.

Answer 25

jimmy2 | 1.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

Shoot who cares she beautiful inside and out

Answer 26

msc545 | 897 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

Obsession means she feels she has no choice.

Answer 27

Gwenhwyfar | 493 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

Hard to say

Where do you draw the line between devotion and obsession?

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