My boyfriend doesn't want me to have lip fillers. Is this controlling behavior?

Question

I told my boyfriend before we got together I used to get lip fillers. Anyway due to lockdown I haven't been able to. With lockdown soon to be I have spoken to the girl who does my lips, to get the ball rolling. My partner who I met just before lockdown has now gone in a mood with me because I said I wanted my lips doing again. Is this controlling behaviour?

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

Wouldn't exactly call it controlling. It's a questionable practice that many people don't agree with - either for medical reasons (the idea of knowingly putting botulism in one's body has become normalized, but it's still odd, to say the least), or for vanity.

People have a right to their opinions. You can do as you please, but you can't expect full support on every single wish and decision you make in life. That's not reality.

Your boyfriend either 1. Doesn't like vanity and altering oneself cosmetically, 2. Likes the way you look as is and thinks you would look worse, 3. Worries about any unknown medical side-effects, 4. Thinks it's a waste of money, 5. Imagines himself to be with someone who doesn't have this specific 'filler' look, which a lot of people can notice as being artificial.

I'm not telling you don't do it. But I think you need to consider that this is not what entree you're deciding to order in a restaurant and trying to call the shots for you. This is a more complex topic than just one of "controlling behaviour." It's a judgement call, and you two are at opposing ends.

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

Maybe he thinks you don't need them. He finds your lips attractive as they are.
However, you told him you'd had these done in the past and you would get them done again.
It's not exactly controlling. He can't stop you. He doesn't have to be pleased about it, however.

razelove · Accepted Answer

Uhh, no, you have a desire, he has a strong opinion about it. That isn't controlling behavior. Controlling behavior would be paying off the person who does your lip filler to use saline instead so it does nothing, slowly increase a dosage of diazepam in your food so you just stop caring, beat you, humiliate you into being subserviant and making the decisions he wants you to make.

Again, he's merely expressing his opinion. "controlling behavior" is exactly that, changing your situation so that you do not have control over your choices. Like the option does not exist to even get to the point of making a choice, it is gone, poof.

hahahmm · Accepted Answer

It's TRADITIONAL behavior for a man to expect that his woman will be loyal to him and more interested in how he sees her than how random people on the Internet see her. If you don't like that then you're free to leave the relationship.

It's not like you two met and you had lips that looked like fajita chunks. You had your normal lips and that is what you used to BAIT your fishing line and catch this guy. Now you want to SWITCH and act all shocked that he's not into the switch you want to pull. That's on you.

Daniela1982 · Answer

Do you blame him for not wanting you to get lip fillers?

EternallyCorrect · Answer

No I don't think so. The trouble with a lot of women today is that they've gone too far with this kind of thing, accusations of controlling behaviour whenever a man expresses disagreement with anything she wants to do. He just doesn't want a girlfriend who looks like a trout.

TOTEMPLASTER · Answer

No, this is someone who is trying to tell you that you don't have to have body modifications like some mindless pole dancer to look beautiful. You have a self-deprecating view of your body that your boyfriend does NOT share. Listen to him and not your inner neurosis.

sheikalana · Answer

In a mood? What mood? If this is something that makes you feel more comfortable I don't see nothing wrong with it is not like you are putting drugs on your body or doing something that will harm your health. Some people just have a very negative sight on these type of procedures because they're uninformed. Maybe you could ask him to accompany you so he can see is that lip fillers are nothing out of this world.

Anonymous · Answer

Acting like a princess is not endearing but he probably thinks you're great as you are and like most sane people does not understand why you would want to do it.
However, if he's this moody after a short time with you, you might question what he'll be like longer term.

jshm2 · Answer

No. It's sensible behaviour.  Not only because lip fillers are bad for your long term health. But also the fact you don't want to be doing that sort of shit in the middle of a pandemic.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

You told him you were going to do it and now months later he has opinions about hmyour body?

No way sis. he's being controlling and immature.

Live your life, those lips will last longer than his attitude.

CalmYourTits · Answer

It's too hard to tell if it is controlling "behavior" when that is only one example. Who is paying for it? If you are paying for it, then do it. If he is paying for it, well then... he's controlling his money, not you.

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn't get moody at you. I would let it be known that I don't like it. If you did it anyway, I would know that what I want doesn't matter to you, and therefore what you want would cease to matter to me. I would go and do what I want, when I want, and if you had a problem with it, I'd politely say goodbye.

TayTay21 · Answer

No, he's right. Lip fillers are not a good look. If you have thinner lips, it's because you were meant to. I don't have really full lips, but I would never try to plump them with those things.

heatherlou · Answer

He's allowed to have an opinion, and to voice it but ultimately the decision is yours. Do whatever you want to do, and then it will be up to him to decide if he's okay with that.

wankiam · Answer

what you see as controlling behaviour may just be that he just doesn't like the trout pout duck face look of fillers and i can understand that but yeah, you do what you like even if he does leave you

LogicalGal123 · Answer

I don't think it's a controlling behavior. Did u asked him why he doesn't want u to? Usually guys like their girl natural beauty. They think ur beautiful no matter what. There is reason why probably doesn't want u to get it done. Just asked him why?

iseekpinetrees · Answer

No. he's expressing he doesn't like it. Who do u feel u need it? You have a man and he likes what he sees. Why change something that doesn't need fixed.

Jayceeleigh · Answer

A mood or he specifically said “you can’t”. It’s not controlling if it’s just a mood. Maybe this is his preference and you’re about to change something he really likes about you.

Máiiréad · Answer

I understand both of your sides. He loves how you are naturally, but you should be allowed to do what makes you happy.

Miristheiss · Answer

No. He can feel however he wants. You are not royalty. If he hates it that much he should date someone else.

K-I-S-S · Answer

Your boyfriend is absolutely right, don't fuck with your face! Ps. I didn't read the description only the question.

FunTastyLady · Answer

Well it depends - maybe he thinks you are prettier without them. What matters is what you want... it is your body, your decision.

AutumnalElf · Answer

Girl, do whatever you want with your own body, if he isn't the one paying for it, isn't his choice, if he doesn't like it that bad, he can walk

Blaaam87 · Answer

It’s not controlling behavior. I think he wants you being natural and happy with what you have. Some men do not like women who wanna look fake

Waldoe · Answer

having an opinion is NOT controlling, maybe you should date only Deaf and Mute guys that cannot see... oh wait.. they will still have opinions... looks like you're screwed... seems everyone is entitled to have them... (opinions)

Anonymous · Answer

He can state how he feels about them but he can’t stop you from getting them done. If he does tell you that you can’t get them done, then yes it’s controlling behavior.

kkirk4442 · Answer

He probably much prefers a girl with a normal look.

psychoticanimaIIover · Answer

I don't know, would you have a problem with him getting a pin-up girl tattooed onto his bicep?

genericname85 · Answer

no. that's him expressing what he wants. you're entiteled to do whatever the fuck you want, as much as it's his right not to be ok with that.

chapawapa · Answer

Depends how the situation is presented. It can and cannot be.

Anonymous · Answer

Well if your boyfriend wanted to get hair transplant on his beard, would you not wanting that sound controlling to you?

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe he thinks you look attractive rather than the trout lips and daffy duck look you'll be sporting with lip fillers.

Anonymous · Answer

Depends on why he is doing it. Does he not like it? Or there is another reason?

najekim · Answer

As you stated it, no. But why are you fighting nature? It's like a large busted girl getting a boob job. Unnecessary. Natural is always better.

LovetoLovealways · Answer

No I don’t think. I think it’s just a way of him saying he likes you for the way you are.

Anonymous · Answer

I would think most Guys wouldn't be happy about the Girlfriend getting lip fillers so I think it's not that controlling.

likelyOK · Answer

No i just think he thinks they look terrible.

007kingifrit · Answer

that's not in any way controlling

Gedaria · Answer

A little. By sencable advice..

Unconcernedman · Answer

I would do the same 😒

GAGSucksBalls1 · Answer

yikes

Babygirl_S · Answer

Nope!

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

I agree with him

My boyfriend doesn't want me to have lip fillers. Is this controlling behavior?

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