Girls, I came out to my girlfriend?

Question

Hello to you all! Some of you know about my story... Today I told my girlfriend that I have sexual desires towards men and that I have been having these desires and fantasies since I was a teen boy... Well, I can say that she reacted badly... We couldnt even talk much, because she seemed so shocked, so upset and so hurt... That was the last thing that I wanted.. I love her and I didn't wanted to hurt her, to make her sad or anything.. Right now she is in her home, with her mother (we live together, but...) and she doesn't want to talk to me now.. I dont know what I can expect and what will happen, but I feel that my world is falling apart...

Answer 1

SunsetRise

Xper 4

Hi Osemni,

I'm so sorry that happened, but I'm so proud of you for telling her! At this point, I think all you can do is wait. Technically, you're still together and she just needs some time to think about your relationship. Once she's calmed down a bit, I think (since you said you didn't speak much) you guys should sit down again and talk more in-depth about it.

I hope you express to her how much you love her as a person and as a woman and your sexuality would never come in the way of that love. I know that I'd probably act a bit hurt at first if my boyfriend expressed this to me but I'd come around and realize that I love my boyfriend, and his sexuality shouldn't matter if he still loves me and having sex with me.

I know plenty of bi-sexual guys who absolutely love their girlfriends, so don't worry. :) She'll come around soon.

Osemni

10 d
Thank you again for your answer and for your support, sweet girl. :) Things are getting worse tho, you can say that she is leaving me, but I will explain soon and invite you again.

Answer 2

Osemni

Thank you again for your answer and for your support, sweet girl. :) Things are getting worse tho, you can say that she is leaving me, but I will explain soon and invite you again.

Answer 3

Screenwriter | 316 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

Well, I'm sure your girlfriend doesn't want you interested in having sex with men, but that IS the way you are. She'll have to accept you as you are. However, I'm sure you know that this will be the end of your relationship with her as it was.
You can't have it both ways. Either you choose her or you choose to be with men. Maybe you're gay, maybe you re bisexual. It doesn't matter. You've had these yearnings a long time and you need to explore what they mean.
It's unfortunate that you chose to be with a woman and never shared this until you had a longtime relationship.
Your world will come together again. It will be a different world, though. Be prepared for some heartbreak. And see a counselor who will support you through this.

Answer 4

Shizuoko

Xper 4

Uhm... It's reasonable. She must've been shocked. You were together for 2 years and now you told her you're into guys.
I don't blame you, you have been living behind the shadows and I think it's enough now, it's time for you to be who you truly are.
Nevertheless, you must give her time and space. It's not easy!

Osemni

11 d
Thank you for your asnwer and your opinion. I will give her time and space, of course. I want her to be happy, to feel good, I wish her only the best..., because I really love her... :(

Answer 5

Osemni

Thank you for your asnwer and your opinion. I will give her time and space, of course. I want her to be happy, to feel good, I wish her only the best..., because I really love her... :(

Answer 6

Kas19 | 189 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 6

Let her have time alone for a bit. Good for you on speaking up. It sucks and it's gonna hurt for a bit, but eventually you will both move on and find suitable partners.

Are you bisexual or only attracted to men? If you're just bisexual, I'm sure she could work things out with you if she wanted. But it really depends on the circumstances. I hope you're okay and I hope she feels better soon.

Osemni

13 d
Heey! Thank you for your kind words.. I can't tell what I am.. I thought that I am straight and that the other desires are just a phase, but I am sure that they are not a phase and they are stronger than my desires for women, so I am either gay or bisexual..., I dont know.. :( Thank you again for asnwering...
Kas19

13 d
@Osemni I'm sure this is a big change. I'm glad you discovered a bit more about yourself. This is going to be hard, and it's going to suck for a while. Not a problem at all.
Osemni

13 d
Well, yeah... The point is that maybe I dont want to be gay, I dont want to accept it and admit it and thats why I am fighting with my desires for men for years.. Yeah, I love my girlfriend, I was really attracted in a sexual way to her at first.. But now I am not..

Answer 7

Osemni

Heey! Thank you for your kind words.. I can't tell what I am.. I thought that I am straight and that the other desires are just a phase, but I am sure that they are not a phase and they are stronger than my desires for women, so I am either gay or bisexual..., I dont know.. :( Thank you again for asnwering...

Answer 8

Kas19

@Osemni I'm sure this is a big change. I'm glad you discovered a bit more about yourself. This is going to be hard, and it's going to suck for a while. Not a problem at all.

Answer 9

Osemni

Well, yeah... The point is that maybe I dont want to be gay, I dont want to accept it and admit it and thats why I am fighting with my desires for men for years.. Yeah, I love my girlfriend, I was really attracted in a sexual way to her at first.. But now I am not..

Answer 10

MeghanL | 80 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 6

Your coming out was probably a big surprise to her. It changed everything, & it's a lot for her to process.

Now she needs some time to consider the new normal & what it means for her.

I hate to say it but you should not be surprised if she wants to start seeing other people.

Answer 11

MissRomantic | 65 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 5

Your girlfriend might be feeling sad because she loves you and probably pictured being married to you and having kids. Now that she knows this, she might feel like there’s no chances of you guys being happily married or having the happy couple life... with attraction and good sex when she doesn’t think you’re attracted to her. She might feel like her dreams have been crushed so it’s understandable.

Answer 12

Laura85

Xper 2

You did the right thing in being honest and hopefully she will be a big enough person to talk to you about it. You already know your relationship might not survive but rather is than a few years down the line when it would destroy a marriage. I hope it works out and you can both at the very least talk things through xx

Answer 13

dawsonnata

Xper 5

You can probably expect to get dumped. Sorry but it's just what I think. If my boyfriend suddenly jumped out and said hey you know what... I'd put my suitcase in my truck and put it in d

Answer 14

SandandWaves | 142 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 7

you were being honest.. which is good... how long have you both been together? She does need space to think.. because it is shocking to her.

Osemni

11 d
Almost two years
SandandWaves

11 d
then you had to tell her before you got with her. you left her in the dark.
SandandWaves

11 d
she doesn't think she can trust you

Answer 15

Osemni

Almost two years

Answer 16

SandandWaves

then you had to tell her before you got with her. you left her in the dark.

Answer 17

SandandWaves

she doesn't think she can trust you

Answer 18

SavageGirl101 | 265 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 7

What exactly did u expect? I wouldn't wanna talk to someone who didn't find me attractive anymore either but continued to stay with me and waste my time... she feels betrayed

Answer 19

Flower7 | 477 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

Are you interested in both men and women, or only men?

Osemni

11 d
Well Its confusing.. I am interested in my girl, but it isn't the same like it was at first... I am not interested in other women tho..

Answer 20

Osemni

Well Its confusing.. I am interested in my girl, but it isn't the same like it was at first... I am not interested in other women tho..

Answer 21

100percent_confused

Xper 4

She is bound to be upset but will eventually realise its better knowing it would have been cruel on both of you if you didn't tell her. I think you need to take time for yourself, to explore this desire to find what is best for you.

Answer 22

lillianaustin

Xper 4

I think you're bi

Girls, I came out to my girlfriend?

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