I just found out my boyfriend is a serial killer?

[Anonymous]

So I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, and we just got engaged, and everything was going perfect. Then I was just surfing the web, nothing out of the ordinary, when I find an article with his picture, so I click on it. Turns out he was in jail for 12 years for killing 5 people when he was 13 years old. So I looked up more information, and I was horrified. I don't know what to do, I'm really in love with him, but I don;t know if I should marry a murderer. Any advice?

Updates

+1 y

He also has no idea that I know about any of this, so should I talk to him about it and tell him that I know?

[Anonymous]

I recently found out I was in a similar situation. My boyfriend went to prison for murdering a child. I was still very much in love with him when this happened and honestly in this situation there is nothing anyone can tell you to make it better. There is nothing you can say to undo what happened or to change how you feel. It will always be there - it just gets easier to deal with. I left him afterwards - I couldn't deal with the fact that he had taken a life. A life that would have learned and lived and they will never get to do that anymore. The first thing I will say is that you cannot help how you feel. If you love him, don't try to stop it - you cannot help how you feel. The second thing is that people change. I fell in love with a completely different man to the one who murdered that innocent little girl and you more than certainly fell for a completely different person to the 13 year old who made a horrendous mistake. A horrendous, and unchangeable thing but if he was 13 probably a mistake. You need to talk to him. Firstly are you sure it is him? Secondly - ask him what happened. The papers elaborate on everything it was probably very different to the story they told. Also if he has already been to prison - maybe he is different now. Does he regret what he did? You need these questions answering and only he can do that.
Whatever you decide to do just remember that nothing you did or will ever do will make you guilty of anything. You cannot change what happened and you are not the bad person here. You just fell in love with someone who has a difficult past. A very difficult past. I am not saying that you should forgive what he did - whatever you decide to to has to be your choice and yours alone - I am just saying that people DO change. Hope this helps and trust me - you are not alone xxxxx

[ShootingStar5]

Judging from your comments to people I'm inclined to believe you're actually not a troll... This is a very difficult situation to be in, and I can't even imagine what it must feel like, nor do I want to. I think you really need to talk to him about this though. I may get flamed for saying this, but I don't care. Yes, he may have killed 5 people in the past. But the person he was then may not be the same person he is now. Especially considering how young he was when it happened. I know when I look back on myself when I was 13, I shake my head. Being in prison for so long, and growing up could've had a large impact on his personality.

However, on the flip side of that, he must've been one really messed up kid to kill that many people at such a young age. This is why it's important to talk to him. In a public place of course like the others suggested. You need to hear his side of the story and understand what happened back then. You can look up old police reports and things like that too.

If you've been together with him for 5 years then that's long enough to get to know somebody pretty well. How does he treat you? How does he treat other people? Does he seem dangerous at all? If not, then he probably truly has changed. It's up to you to decide whether or not you can accept his past.

[Asker]

Thanks, and thank you for understanding me. It's like everything you said was exactly what I was thinking. I do believe he has changed, and he treats everyone very well. I will talk to him about it tomorrow and we'll see how it goes. I'm willing to leave the past in the past after I find out what happened. Thanks again.

[sweet_18]

I think it depends on the situation really. Like who was it that he killed and was he under the influence of any drugs? Regardless though, you should really talk to him about it. Be sensitive about the subject though. If you two are in love enough to be getting married, you should be able to talk about pretty much anything with each other. Something like that though, it's stupid to think that you wouldn't find out, so he's probably anticipating this conversation or at least has thought about it and about what to say to you.

[KarKingJack]

Hoooooo. Hooooof***.

Tell him. Seriously, tell him. And make sure people are nearby. If he was gonna kill you, it'd happen then. So don't let that happen. But... Don't assume he's still a murderer. He's moved on, right? He's been in jail for 12 years, he's a different man. Just. Ugh.

I don't envy you.

[Asker]

Lol thanks. And be jealous.

[KarKingJack]

Lol, are you actually trolling? I guess serial killers doesn't real after all =[

[KarKingJack]

I can't tell from your replies at all actually =/ Aghh

[Asker]

No I'm not trolling -.- And I would like for people to stop saying I am. It pisses me off.

[KarKingJack]

Okay, I believe you. I'm sorry, there are lots of trolls though, some very good.

In that case I commend you for not just leaving him as soon as you found out, such a skill of endurance is really admirable, although it might end up doing you harm. Good luck

[Lupianwolf]

If this is true, leave him you don't know if he still thinks those things and might not do it again

[Asker]

Should I talk to him about it? He doesn't even know I know about it.

[Lupianwolf]

Be absolutely sure that's him though

Well, you don't know if he could snap or what, maybe talking to family?

Think of an excuse or something

You deserve someone better, even if he's changed it doesn't change what he's done

[Asker]

I'm 100% sure it's him, It's hos full name ALL of his information and I saw pictures and videos from the news on his trial with his parents in it. And thanks I'll try.

[queenofpeen]

Holy crap. If you're serious... uh... I personally would try to find out more information about it. I'd tell the police the situation and maybe they would show you the records? Ask them what you should do.

The thing is, he was only 13. Maybe he had a really bad childhood and something triggered it when he was 13. Jail for 12 years probably made a huge impact on him...

After talking to the police, I would talk to him (if the police deem it safe). It might seem scary at first because you wonder, "What if he snaps when I tell him I know?" but... have a weapon nearby or something, haha. It's important to know his side of the story.

[Asker]

I pretty much found out everything already, and I got the records, and saw an interview where he talked about it. I know he was always picked on as a kid and had no friends, but he killed those people just for rage (they were 4 or 5 and never did anything to him), but he has been so good to me and now he's 24, it's been a while but I'm not sure if he has changed or if I'm in danger. I really love him though and I don't wanna leave him.

[queenofpeen]

Hm, yeah, I would sit down and have a looong talk with him about it. There are so many questions to ask... Just make sure it's in a safe place, either with people nearby or some form of protection on hand (pepper spray is good). I doubt he would do anything at this point (especially because he cares about you), but better safe than sorry.

[Asker]

Alright I will. Thanks (:

[EverythingReal]

Okay, it is hard to have a relationship with someone who can't be honest with you about their past, much less be good marriage material. Also, you should be able to confront him on this if you are engaged to him. You're lack of communication would be more alarming than what he has done.

[Asker]

I think he didn't tell me because he doesn't want his past to affect our future. But thanks, and I trust he's changed, so I will talk to him about it.

[kaythanksbye]

I was thinking this was real for a sec. But I call BULL SHIT. Why? You said he was in jail for 12 years right? He went in there at age 13. Meaning he'd be out at age 25. You said you've been with him for 5 years. On the 2nd girls anwser you said he is now 24. You would have had to been with him when he was 19. But at age 19, he should have been in jail. If you wanna lie, do it right. Kay? Awesome.

[Asker]

I just found out about this, and I don't know all the details. I'm relying on Google, and sometimes people don't have the right facts. All I know is that he's 24, he went to jail when he was 13, and he was sentenced to 9 years to life. The article said he ended up leaving after 12 years, but then again there's no way I would know for sure. I'm not lying, I just don't have all the facts, since I just found out about this and haven't talked to him about it yet.

[kaythanksbye]

Kay well even so, it all sounds like BS

[Asker]

Alright. I'm tired of trying to prove it to people. Your opinions aren't going to change my situation. But thanks anyway.

[kaythanksbye]

Sure thing

[Anonymous]

I do believe that people change. But, probably murdering at the age of 13 has smth to do with his mental status. Moreoever, probably he never been fully recovered. Years later, he might kill you & your kids.

Think about it very well.

[Asker]

Thanks. Should I try to talk to him about it?

[Opinion Owner]

No, you shouldn't talk about it. You never know what he is capable of doing when you hurt him & reveal his secret. But I'd say be very polite & firm if you decide to walk away.

[Brando]

Your boyfriend is capable of taking 5 people's lives, do you think he's going to make a good husband and father?

[slipslender]

did you not catch a whiff of le troll?

[Asker]

But do you think it's possible for him to have changed? I mean he's really good to me and his family.

[Brando]

I guess not lol. I blame it on the empty stomach :|

[evander]

@Brando Lmao its funny how society rewrites a man's purpose and abilities.

@Asker, I think he would make a good husband, he has the ability to kill, that means he is more than just a brick wall that will take any incoming harm at you.

[Brando]

When you see what he's really capable of? Yes, I think the same thing.

[KarKingJack]

I f***ing LOL'd, Evander, so right. Thousands of years ago, if a man killed five people, every girl in the town would want to be his husband, now people couldn't get away quick enough, hahaha

[Anonymous]

Here is the best advice you will ever get

Start finding other ways to get attention

And

Start with the truth

And

Stop wasting our time

[Asker]

How about you stop waisting MY time! I'm not trying to get attention, and this is the truth. Just because something out of the ordinary happens doesn't mean it isn't true, and if you were in my position, people saying you're lying would be pretty annoying too.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm sorry

Liar

I know for a fact you are making this up

Now karma is going to put you in a bad bad place

Good luck

Hope it was worth it

You have been reported

[Asker]

You can't know that because I'm not lying. And report me, what do I care? I know I'm not lying and that is what matters. So I won't be getting any karma, you will/ Bye.

[Opinion Owner]

I agree with the other person

Your a liar and an idiot

[Asker]

I can't wait until something happens to you and no one believes you. Karma's a bitch, and it's you it's gonna get. Bye.

[Lou_Sanis]

You ladies and your impossible standards! He's not trying to kill you, is he? What's the problem?

[EngineeringStudent]

Troll

[Asker]

You shouldn't say I'm lying when you don't know me or what is happening. This isn't a troll.

[Anonymous]

i smell a troll

[Asker]

Okay that's great people are really annoying, if you think it's a troll, then don;t even bother answering my question. Save my time for people that actually want to help me. Thanks.

[Opinion Owner]

free country, we're allowed to comment on what we want. I think you are a troll. stop wasting our time, and yours

[Asker]

Well I don't care what you think, it's not a troll, and even if it was, you said it yourself, free country. And you're telling me to stop waisting your time, but you are the one waisting mine. Bye.

[Opinion Owner]

well why did you ask the question if you don't care what I think, I'm telling you what I think because you asked the question, and I think your a troll. yes, free country, therefore I'm answering your question. I'm not wasting my time, I'm calling you out for being a troll, peace, bitch

[Asker]

I posted the question for people to HELP me figure out what to do, not for you to tell me I;m lying when I'm not. And I'm not a bitch, you don't even know me.

[Opinion Owner]

you posted it to see what people would say. don't overreact when you hear the f***ing truth about you being a liar. and yes you are a bitch, bye bye