Self-evident question, I'm allowing this one anon.MMFWow, finding a PG image googling 2 girls one guy was more difficult than I thought
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+1 y
So far it seems more women are open to at least the idea of sharing, while the most common answer from men is NO NO like I spilled their beer or something...
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+1 y
If I fail to respond to your comment, or acknowledge it in a timely fashion, it is simply because I did not expect this question to grow to such a large dialogue so quickly, though I'm very happy to see that and so many differing views :)
Have you ever been in, or would you consider a polyamorous relationship?
Once upon a Time before I entered the world of g@g my answer would have been: ABSOLUTELY DEFINITELY NOT! I would have answered this out of naiveness. I never understood the concept of Poly. Now I know there are more than ome form of Poly. There non-monogamous Poly and there is Monogamous Poly. I know some of you are scratching your head thinking 🤔 "Monogamous Poly"... well that in itself is an oxymoron. There can't be such a thing. I assure you there is such a thing! The non-monogamous Poly lifestyle: There's the swinging and the open relationship concept. Yes believe it or not that falls under Poly. Swinging or open relationships fall under the non monogamous Because of its causualness and non commitment attitude. Then there's the lifestyle of a ladies Man (a man seeking women) or a man's Lady (a woman seeking men). This can also be call the casual dater seeking no commitment. This never settling down attitude also falls under Poly. Now The Monogamous Poly lifestyle: Whats the difference? Its the commitment and promising of not strating or cheating on the group. Yes hard to believe but very true. A poly life style can be a committed non cheating lifestyle. These are a group of individuals (a minimum of 3 people) who choose to live as one unit or one family. Neither individual in the family is allowed to stray and seek others. Any new member has to be accepted by the entire family and the new member would have to oblige to the commitment to remain in the family and not stray either. It is like a group marriage. Long ago in the beginning of time this is how most cavemen functioned. It was the key of their survival. Multiple husbands and multiple wives guaranteed the safety and survival of the family. It meant more people together to help hunt and gather. It meant more people working together to raise the young. It meant more people working together to keep the family safe. If one husband (father) or one wife (mother) died there's would still be another to keep the family going. Some argue that this lifestyle is preprogrammed in US. Some argue that becoming an entirely single monogamous family is a choice that goes against our preprogrammed genetics. It is doable and it is functionable nowadays thank goodness to the fact that we don't have to run away from sabertooth tigers and the advancement in medications, inventions, farming (instead of a nomad lifestyle) and housing also means more people surviving and less need of having that backup mother or father. history lesson of monogamous poly set to the side and moving on to the question at hand: "Have you ever been in, or would you consider a polyamorous relationship?" I would say first the only Poly relationship I would be open to is a Monogamous Poly where we were a commit united group. Now that I established that: No I have not officially been in a poly relationship. However my husband and I are open to a MONOGAMOUS poly relationship.
A long term poly relationship that is closed is my ideal as well. However any relationship starts with dating. I messed up my first few because I took a lot for granted, and expected "well, I have this close, exclusive relationship with her, now we're together, and you're together with her, so we're all together!" without taking the time to date, or actually get to know them as an individual rather than, I suppose a vehicle better.
That's the thing that sucks about honesty, you have to be honest with yourself lol. I would also imagine that you and your husband are "more open" to the same that my wife and I seek, and most poly couples are seeking. The unicorn, the single woman who is open to that, and preferably bi.
I've been through more relationships than I can count, and unfortunately the longest any has lasted is 3 months. Though having another exclusive LTR is an unrealistic goal, it's still a desire we have. Part of it is what you said above, stability. It isn't just saber tooth tigers to worry about today. Unemployment can ruin your family just as fast without some back-up plans.
Though I have those in place, and support networks, I dunno, I just don't feel... whole, when I'm not with two women I can love, and be loved back by. Also seeing how well they get along with my wife, you know, until jealousy or other factors creep in.
Either way, I'm not giving up, and thanks for expanding on the many dynamics that one word encompasses :)
There is that. Though my relationship is polygamous rather than polyamorous, yeah, open would be easier, or at least more simple.
Unfortunately I do like the feelings and drama that come with them. I've tried having just sexual relationships with other women while with my wife, and they felt like a waste of time for me.
Granted, that's just me, and everyone has their own ideal dynamic that works best for them. I also realize that the chances of me finding another woman to be in a LTR with are very improbable unless I go for geographic isolation of my partners.
I was until she actually went on a date with another guy. Luckily for me he sprung an ultimatum first date. If it was something she felt she had to do I'd tolerate it, but never be able to bring myself to enjoy or accept it.
This is people not done with dating while in a serious relationship/marriage. If you're married, you're married to your friend. Not your true love.
This is not swinging. This is having multiple serious partners. It can be alluring but at some point it will get complicated. When everyone has multiple partners, it's too easy to let the bad relationship fall, even if there are kids involved. It can be very selfish.
Of course swinging is more of less older people just wanting some variety. This is often the end of most relationships. It doesn't come just after the first party. It usually slowly destroys the relationship.
It's simple economics, in the rules of trading. You have to give up something to get something. Imagine what the couple gets as a whole? Generally one partner gets more out of it, and for that lops side the relationship, and resentment sets in at some point.
It's better to just find a quality mate. Not a friend. Not a quickie friends with benefits, unless your just needing some sexual aspirin. It's definitely not a long-term solution.
If you disagree and have enlightened ideas that somehow sets you apart, well, sometimes simple wisdom learned over a lifetime is where's at. Don't think in immediate gratification. Think what the life of relationship will look and change into? If you can't see the long-term gains and loss, you probably should just ditch your partner and start over...
I like your method of arguing. Relationships and feelings aren't quantifiable though. If they were there would be one dating site, temple, whatever, that did so, made perfect matches, and that would be that.
Of course, what are you actually saying? I see many words, but fail to see any meaning or message in them. Call me dull, but could you condense that for me?
I don't want to share my partner and I know that she does not want to share me. If she wants to share me, I would suspect that she wanted me to engage in some dalliance so she could feel free to do the same. What I want is "just-me-and-you-baby-forever."
Yeah, I would have ended that swiftly. That sounds like a 3 day relationship I was in with a woman who said she had a crush on me for a long time, yada yada, we went out, hooked up that night, she knew I was married, we went out with my wife the next day, then when she wakes up the day after she's starting arguments and will not calm down. Pushed the ultimatum, wouldn't back down from it, that was the shortest experience I had.
She still followed me for about a week saying how I "needed" to leave my wife and get with her, as she was catholic and we had sex. I was like girl, we met when both of us were working at a strip club, then again in college when you jumped my bones as a married man. So I took her out to dinner, calmly explained how crazy she was, that I had to consider her a threat, and dropped her off in the middle of nowhere.
Huge difference between swinging and poly relationships. I'm going to go anon, just for shits and giggles here because this is apparently going to be a very shock worthy response. So, for starters, swinging relationships require a very strong bond of both trust and communication. I'm wildly against poly relationships, but my doors are open to swinging (literally). My fiance and I have been swinging for about 2 years. I dont understand how people can be poly, if I am being honest here, which probably doesn't make sense considering I'm a swinger. But the difference here is that when you're swinging, your partner is still very much involved and you are NOT open to "dating" someone else. Its strictly sexual. Sex and love are completely separate categories (sorry all you vanilla folk). However, once you slap dating in to the mix, it's a hard pass for me and my fiance alike. We love eachother and love watching eachother be satisfied. Its enticingly "taboo", which in itself is a pretty big turn on. Is there jealously? Yes, not often though. More than likely due to the fact that my fiance and I have a very open concept of communication and talk to eachother about absolutely everything long before the deed is done. If there is even one shred of doubt revolving the issue, it's not happening and no feelings are hurt in the process. Most people are too caught up in thinking that their partner will like the other person better- which that's honestly their own problem. Insecurities are a bitch. Trust me, I've been there. With all this said though, this lifestyle isn't for most. Let's face it, more people are open to it these days but when it comes down to it, shit gets heated real fast because generally speaking, most of the time the couples communication sucks and they never should have gotten into it in the first place. It's a learning experience. One that can be fun AND one that can also be heartbreaking. Tread carefully. That's all.
I agree with pretty much everything you said. Swinging, and casual relationships are far easier and less complex. Lack of communication, or a strong identity destroys many relationships when exposed to a new dynamic, it doesn't have to be sexual, could be a simple job change.
I think a lot of people would be shocked, but I've seen the swinger community, it seems different, but not unhealthy, just different. It is far more accepted and easier to access in pretty much every city than poly. Hmm, a good comparison would be the swinger community is a real estate convention as far as resources, people, and venues. The poly community in public is more like an NA meeting. Few members, no venues, little resources, bad coffee. I can't see a "poly club" being successful as opposed to a swinger club or kink club/dungeon.
Communication break down is common. That isn't unique to poly, swinging, S&M, vanilla, what have you.
Exactly! My fiance and I live not too far from a swingers "club" (we have yet to go there because of Covid). I've noticed that in the swinging community, pretty much anything goes. Just sex? Not a problem. Want to build a friendship first? Everyone is down for that. Just want to exchange photos and dirty texts? That's fine too! Know what I mean? I have yet to meet one couple or single individual who has crossed boundaries and generally speaking, the swingers we have met and become acquainted with are really laid back and fun to be around. It's just an overall good time with hardly any drama. There are "rules", so to speak, that are discussed long before a meet up and only once have we had someone try to cross over that boundary (single woman decided she wanted to be with my fiance after she was invited in- hard pass). But that was a one time thing, so far anyway.
I think a lot of people simply turn their nose to it because of the obvious chance of STDs or simply insecurities revolving around sharing your partner. Both of these things aren't something to be ashamed of. I mean, I would never bash someone for not being in to the lifestyle. But I think what a lot of people dont realize is that generally speaking, swingers get regular STD testing done and usually are very eager to hand you over the paper saying they are free and clear. The insecurities thing is something people need to work on on their own- just as I had to. But again, it's not for everyone.
Well, on the STD note as well, Walgreens does sell 15 minute HIV test kits OTC that cost like 35 bucks last time I bought a few. They're FSA expenses as well. Honestly that's the only one I worry about, there's penicillin for about everything else and regular testing is a must in that life even with condoms. And hey, that ingrown hair looks suspiciously like herpes... lol, no fly zone!
I was in a FMF relationship that I did enjoy until the relationship became a bit more one sided. I think it can be difficult for a man to keep himself divided between 2 women evenly sometimes. Especially when you first introduce a new partner into the relationship. I am not a jealous person so it didn't effect our relationship in that manner and that is not how this relationship ended.
I think that poly relationships are a choice that mature relationships are made of. You can not approach this type of relationship with abandon or a threesome attitude because if you do it will fail.
What makes a relationship work no matter the number of participants? Friendship, understanding, kindness, passion, love. These have been universal through time.
I don't think there can be anything such as being evenly divided. Though I do agree that the threesome attitude destroys many of those relationships before they can take off. Don't get me wrong, they're fun, and bring up some laughable situations, but are terrible for anything besides sex. They certainly don't build stronger bonds besides sometimes reducing envy one partner may feel towards another. At that point things are hitting a wall anyway.
You can't be evenly divided. It's a nice ideal to have, but the fact is that your partners will have different needs, besides your own desires of who you enjoy spending time with more. Like if I got into another relationship right now, even trying to be impartial, one partner is my wife who I have children with, and another is someone who I've just begun to explore my feelings for. I know that may be unfair, but it is reality. If we managed to get past a year and stayed together, there would still be the fact that I have a house and children with my wife. Even if I had a child with the woman I got with, and we started a 3 person LLC to buy a house together, it doesn't erase the past.
I get where you're coming from, but I guess sometime maybe... 6, 7 years ago? I just had to admit to myself that there would be favoritism and bias in a 3-way relationship, it wasn't that I came to the conclusion on my own, it was getting together with a woman and she wound up not being into me so much as she was into my wife. Being on the other side of that dynamic made me really think that through.
I can completely understand your point of view on that.
Stepping into that relationship where you have a family at home and stability is a whole different ball game. There is much to consider and to potentially lose if things were to go badly. Fortunately in my case we were not in that place in life yet there was no marriage or children to worry about.
Yeah, that's the majority of my past relationships as well. The more recent ones I've had (most recent was like 2 or 3 years ago?) were mostly me dating another woman with little or no interaction that she had at home which leads to a catch-22. I want to get closer so this is someone that could be part of my family. At the same time I have to protect my family and can't immediately let strangers in as forget the possessions or anything, what impression would that leave on my kids?
Whatever view they take on relationships, I don't want them to see a constantly unstable presence there that they'll later grow up and realize, oh, she was there to be with daddy and maybe mommy. I just think it would mess with how they view women and relationships with them, especially making it easier to objectify them. Whatever thoughts I might have, or how I conduct myself would matter very little in seeing these "disposable" partners stacking up.
I guess I'm thinking out loud there, but it is a worry I have, and I'd think a legitimate one. I'm not saying anything against same-sex partners, but against having partners that are there and they may get attached to, and then poof, they're gone, over and over again.
I used to have two female dogs and I didn't pay that much attention to them. I mean, I would feed them, walk them, pet them a little and that's about it. Everything was going great and they seemed happy.
I decided to pay more attention to them. I made a daily schedule that I would spend 20 minutes petting and grooming, 20 minutes playing, 20 minutes teach tricks. So I spent at least 2 hours every day. Well, they quickly became jealous and they would bark and bite each other. I hated that.
I'm assuming that this would happen if a man had two women.
Your assumption is correct. Unfortunately most women react negatively when you smack them with a rolled up newspaper, then put a collar and leash on them to work out that excess energy too, people these days are too sensitive...
Yes, more than I can remember that lasted around a month, and the longest was about 3 months. Well, one long distance one went on for about... 6 years? Total time spent together through that was probably only half a year though.
Every time I've always wanted the same thing, to have another LTR, and every time I watch that slide away like sand in a sieve. They're still fun experiences, I just like the feelings and attention more than the sex. You can only screw for so many hours out of the day as opposed to time you spend with other people.
No, not at all. If anything I'd say it's more of a teamwork, overall a lot of things get so much cheaper that you save money. Granted, I'm cheap as hell, so that might factor in. Some women had expensive tastes, but that isn't something I like, so that didn't last long. More often than not you help each other with little things, it stacks up, if you want to cook an extravagant dinner at home, taking turns, or everyone pitching in makes that easy.
There does need to be one on one time, but that varies from person to person. For some it's going out and seeing a movie, others comedy shows, art museums, drives, shooting range, hiking, just being alone, cuddling and reading. It really varies a lot, but I never noticed any dent on my wallet.
@razelove Where did you find women who are looking for a poly relationship? I used to belong to several BDSM sites as well as physically belonging to some. Those types of women were rare and the few that are poly were poly and not looking. The competition was horrendous. Also, would you be in a poly where it's 2 men and one woman?
Yes, so polygamy would be any number of women over 1 to 1 man, polyandry would be any number of men over 1 to one woman, for polyamory, sometimes it can get confusing. So me and me wife only get with other women, sometimes those women have long distance boyfriends, another woman they are with, and rarely are simply playing the field, in which case that lasts as long as a sparkler.
But let's say we were both actively "hunting" and for the sake of argument both of us for women, attached or unattached. We both find another woman to be with a piece. She finds a woman who has a boyfriend, I find a woman who has a girlfriend. My new girlfriend's girlfriend has a long distance boyfriend, her girlfriend's boyfriend wants her to be part of a threesome with them. My girlfriend's girlfriend is interested in my wife, so that's another threeway relationship between my girlfriend, her girlfriend, and my wife.
It really can become a headache the more people that become involved. No shit I've had to draw out flow charts before.
I used two resources the most. OKC, and just talking to people. I met a lot of girlfriends through girlfriends. They may say harsh words at first, but seeing their friend so happy, so elated when we're spending time together, I'm picking her up, or she's coming to meet me. They get jelly. They get in touch later.
Ask most women out there, you are more attractive to women the less available you are, especially if that is because you are with another woman/women. A single guy trying to get a poly relationship going has a lot of moving pieces to get into play. I have relatively very few.
Yes, I remember the first time I dated someone who was non-mono, they had a boyfriend but we talked every other night or so and we really wanted to see each other when she came up to my university for orientation. We had a date and ended up having sex. We became more than friends over time, it was slow but she adored me because I understood it all, wasn't judgmental or jealous and allowed each other the space we wanted to see and do whoever we want. We would talk on the phone about how our days/dates went, even who we had sex with kind of stuff andthere were times we'd fall asleep after having phone sex until she enrolled. Then we had a poly relationship, we'd see each other a few times a week thing.
She made me become a believer into solo polyamorous relationships, it takes time and unwinding everything you thought was "correct" about monogamous relationships. Every relationship can have almost the same benefits. It can work.
yeah, we do. She has mental health issues that go in and out over years, but we're always good with each other. I've had more non-mono relationships since then as well. I like to say i'm always poly, or polycurious.
Can’t do. I’ve seriously considered this many times, whether I’d be able to share the same love for one person with another person, and I just don’t think I could do it. I would always feel as though I loved one person more, or like I’m being left out sometimes, etc. Call it vanilla if you’d like, but I just wouldn’t feel comfortable in my own skin being involved, especially physically, with more than one person.
I get that, and reality is you do love one person more than the other. To pretend otherwise is to either lie to yourself, or the other parties involved. I mean, key being to try not to make it too obvious that you're picking a favorite unless one partner is into degradation or something... which would be like jenga but with a relationship.
No this is such a foreign concept to me. Monogamy is common sense. Polygamy is not long-lasting and there are problems like jealousy, unstable family structure, and conflict.
I have known very few people in long term polygamous relationships, though I would like to find another woman to be in a LTR with, I know that is highly unlikely. Most guys that I knew in polygamous relationships either had all the women/families isolated from each other geographically, like different families for different states, and they travel to those states often for work.
Monogamy was common sense to me as well until I tried the other side, but conflict and jealousy still come up, as they do in any other relationship. I just noticed jealousy comes up more swiftly, and with far less resolutions in a poly one. As far as family, I don't know how to handle that one. For the past year I just haven't been pursuing other women as my kids are old enough to remember and understand things. If it was something stable, I don't think that would be confusing or mess with their heads. To have a constant cycle of women coming and going though... that would be fucked.
Oh, forgot to mention the other situations I knew of guys who were polygamous, the other was religious, they were raised that way, and so were the women they were with, only met one guy like that though, I forget if that was Colorado or Utah, it was close to the border the state, friendly family. Women I've known who were in Polyandrous relationships tend to have more stability, but call me a hypocrite, I know it isn't a dynamic I can do.
I have thought about it but honestly relationship wise no. I can see how people can but when I’m in a relationship I can’t emotionally get to that level with anyone else if I do , it’s because I’m no longer happy in my relationship and I’ll break up with my partner. So not bashing anyone in a poly relationship just my brain can’t do it.
Sure. I'm bisexual so for me it could be the ideal situation. In a large polyamorous relationship (by large I mean a large group of people) whenever someone is not in the mood there is always someone who is in fact in the mood. As long as everyone is mature enough that there is no issue of jealousness then it could work. I am speaking from some amount of experience when I say that there are few things sexier than three tongues involved in the same kiss.
Indeed. For better or worse, guys just never did it for me. Like not a turn off, but just no spark or being able to get into it. I did have one MMM threesome I got involved in, honestly it had slipped my mind until reading what you wrote. They were really nice and cooked me breakfast after. FFM, they want to lay in bed and I have to do the pampering after lol
Well yes that is one big difference between male and female lovers. Females generally expect you to do most if not all the work while male lovers tend to share the load so to speak. Though I have to admit that when two or more women get involved it can be fun for the guy if the women are sufficiently enthusiastic and are both more into the guy than each other. It can sometimes turn into a competition.
Well, I wouldn't say all the work, but as far as attention goes, then yes, head on a swivel, always trying to detect possible threats or opportunities. I can only remember a few women who weren't all that into me after getting together (like their mind wasn't in the here and now) and my response was pretty much the same every time, if you're talking about/thinking about your (ex) boyfriend, then go get with him. If you're here with me, be here with me. If they couldn't do that, I just withdrew myself from that situation.
Probably the most awkward threesomes I had were when a woman wanted to "surprise" me, while I'm in a threesome relationship with her and my wife, but she's of course bi, and has a girlfriend that she wants to share. And flip a coin, the lesbian girlfriend is either into it, or a yawning, dead fish participant just humoring her girlfriend. I'd usually just ask the girl I'm with if she can get some water, gosh my throat is parched, and ask their girlfriend straight up which way they're leaning on that when we're alone.
Women can be very strange with each other. I'd never invite a gay guy over and be like hey, we're going to smash this girl man! You'll love it whether you like it or not! Ick.
Interesting point but yes your head is always on a swivel always watching over your back hey something went wrong somewhere man it's supposed to be they watch your back you're the King in the castle the alpha then again a lot of Kings in history got stabbed in the back because they weren't watching their own back
I don't like the idea of sharing a man with another woman. I will admit I am a bit selfish about that and hypocritical as I am fine with the idea of having men share me. I have had a three some with two men but never with another woman where we are with one man. Over the long term I am not sure I could maintain a relationship with more than one person.
I don't find that strange. I feel the same about having multiple women, and not sharing them with other men. It may be hypocritical and selfish, but it is how I feel. Being honest with yourself and your partners is important.
Also as much as I have searched for a LTR through the many I've been through, I've yet to have any make it past 3 months, so sustaining that dynamic is indeed a concern :/
I don't see any point in such an arrangement at all. It's non-exclusive friends with benefits but you are also supposed to have partner responsibilities? For what imaginable reason or benefit?
It's just an excuse for promiscuous people to feel better about themselves by calling themselves "poly" instead of what they really are, promiscuous.
I've been in one that ended rather badly, funnily enough though I would do it again. I'm a rather jealous person so I'm not too sure about the open style of polyamory, the relationship I was in involved all members dating each other and that's what I would personally want to stay with, and I have no problems with having more than three people in said relationship.
That would be my ideal as well, with the dream being for that dynamic to lead into a LTR. My first few ended badly because of expectations, ignorance, and neglect. I had a lot later on that ended through jealousy, but only a few that ended badly after that beginning getting over, well, myself lol
If it isn't too much to ask, what led to that/those relationships ending badly?
The relationship was rotten from the beginning, one was cheating (ironic really) and the other was an A grade possessive psychopath. Unsteady foundations and all that
Shit, that sounds awful. I think most people won't get that part. Cheating hurts just as much, if not more in a poly relationship. Like, WTF, you could have just said something, but you lied, betrayed my (our) trust, and hid it instead!
Add someone jealous and possessive to that game of tug of war, I could see why you would be reluctant, or simply unwilling to repeat that experience. If my first one had gone down that way, I probably would have chosen to push the entire thing out of my head and been like right, I'm monogamous and always have been, it was just a bad dream lol
I guess that's why I shock people so much when I say I'm willing to try again, because the way I see it the relationship dynamic wasn't what was toxic, it was the people. And yeah that's exactly what I thought about the cheating, I'm just glad that in the end I got out when I did and don't talk to either of them anymore
I'm glad you're able to look at things so objectively and not just label all poly people as assholes. I know after cheating and manipulation in my first marriage, I had that outlook towards women and dating for a while. Hell, I think at the same age as you was when I got divorced. Maybe it's true women mature faster than men... lol
I'd bet on that. And looking back I can't image getting married to anyone I dated when I was younger, my tastes and standards have definitely improved. We all figure it out at some point I suppose
Yeah, for me that was like... 24-25 lol. Oh well, too bad you're in Australia, you seem like you'd be fun to talk to and argue with over some coffee and sandwiches :)
no, I don't see how that works at all, but I wasn't raised in a hippie colony... raised in traditional family.
not sure the diff between that and moron. 2 women vs 5? this to me only makes sense when there is not a good balance of males/females in a society. Then, this is a loving/considerate thing to continue the lineage of those people who otherwise might be left out.
I wasn't raised in one either. It is playing out that way already, though all partners in a relationship may not know about it. Just compare the amount of young men who are having sex to the number of young women. The discrepancy is enough to fix China's male/female imbalance.
of what I know about the security, jealousy of women, I wouldn't even consider it. They are very possessive of their offspring. One sperm... one egg in nature. Humans with their creative minds can try a lot of experiments. Maybe it works for some people. It strikes me as a lot of work to keep emotionally healthy and if one goes off, ya got a mess. but maybe there's' things I don't know.
I could see people doing this for financial reasons as the economy and society continues to collapse.
Depends. I'd prefer a non monogamous relationship personally. That could change but it is something I'd like to explore. I don't know about necessarily dating other people with a partner, but ethical non monogamy is an something I'm interested in. It would require a lot of trust and transparency.
It does, probably the hardest person to maintain that transparency with is yourself. Like to see yourself and your actions objectively, it isn't an easy thing to do. Sometimes when that trust is weak, or jealousy is coming up, you do have to zoom out though.
Yeah I get exactly what you're saying. I've never really liked the idea of monogamy forever. Like I hear so many people say "oh we don't have sex anymore" since apparently they've exhausted all other options. I never ever want to be in a relationship like that. But very few people are interested in anything else but that, or they don't think they can voice thier curiosity.
No. Never. I am 100% monogamous. The though of someone I am in an intimate relationship with being touched and touching someone else and having sex with someone else other than me disgusts me and would make me never want to have anything to do with them ever again.
100% Of course your remark makes another assumption. I've never been drunk before. I don't really drink very often and when I was single I would drink at a party or gathering... just enough to loosen up and maybe have a little buzz and then I would stop so I'd be 100% sober to drive home.
Getting black out drunk? People that do that were the types I'd never have even dated to begin with.
People thinking it is "normal" and responsible or healthy to get drunk every other weekend aren't the types I hung out with and I didn't date women who thought going out and getting drunk at a party was normal and something they participated in.
If I had sex with someone else under any circumstance you can think of I would 100% expect my wife to divorce me. She should.
Ok, I was just curious. And how would you know if you've been black-out drunk before if, you know, you blacked out? lol
I don't think it's healthy to drink to black-out point every other weekend. I've overcome addictions (like the using part), but the temptation is still there, and I see other people I knew from that life dying left and right from drugs and alcohol. It is not healthy at all.
That sounds more like sad pathetic cat than grumpy cat... even if he catches a squirrel, what can he do as a dwarf with that smashed in face? Poor unfortunate guy, probably neutered too, I understand why he's so grumpy and sad now :( He lays in the road and cries when the cars swerve.
That would be exclusive polygamy. You would need both money and game to make that happen. I know who we are on here is not indicative of who we are in real life, so if who you are IRL is dramatically different you could pull it off. If your RL personality resembles a lot of the content you post though, that is out of your grasp.
You need the game to attract women, and the finances with the ability to protect if you want to keep them loyal and loving you. I have the game, and ability to protect, but lack the finances to snap my fingers and buy another house or condo on a whim. Everywhere it has been practiced through history the finances and power to protect part have held true. You need the game now because the internet is everywhere, and if one woman can cheat, all your women can cheat.
So you have to be able to put forward convincing arguments why you are a good choice to leave the idea of exclusivity with other men, why it's a good plan to stick with you and what you offer for them to be exclusive to you while you do not offer the same in return, and show a real ability to provide physical and financial security so they want your babies.
Last I checked that's like.00015% of men who can check those boxes. I fail on the finances part, I have stability, and game, but I'm not a millionaire. So I can reel them in, but holding onto them is a different story.
I find the idea terrible almost repulsive. I'm sorry but I'm very old-fashioned. I've always wanted to find true love and that I think is possible only between two people.
You don't have to be sorry about that. You have your preferences, and I have my own, if we can respect each other's choices, what is there to apologize for?
They came specifically from news stories on polyamorous relationships and the people in them... swinging is swapping partners in couples. Swinging is by and far more popular and acceptable, just go to any dungeon or swingers club, take about 15 minutes and sell your wife like a new car.
I'm not knocking on it, it just isn't what I've been into and have received a ludicrous amount of offers there. Or been invited to be the "third" guy in a MMF FFM MMM threesome for the night, which I did a time or 10 before I knew what poly was.
Use tineye or google image to reverse search the image before you make claims you can't back up. What would a picture of poly be, three people walking one dog?
Ok, to clarify, I'm married, 9 years, a decade ago, I can't remember me, my wife and an ex got together, we had a relationship together for a few months. She left us to get with her ex. We enjoyed the dynamic, and pursued other women to get into relationships with.
Most commonly these ended when jealousy couldn't be headed off anymore, an ultimatum came up from our new girlfriend, typically around a month in when the puppy love was wearing off "me or her" rule we established and they knew was anyone issuing an ultimatum and unwilling to budge has to go.
This repeated countless times, with the goal being to establish a LTR. This did not happen.
So please, tell me how I'm swinging, rather than engaging in poly, when by definition swinging is a subset of poly to begin with anyway?
Polygamy I could understand, as all other partners were women, and for the majority they might be friends with my wife, make plans, go shopping, but no pressure or expectations for threesomes or them to have sex.
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