Is it important that you learn your partners romantic history?

Question

What do you need to know?

TruthBringer · Accepted Answer

The past is the best predictor of the future. Those who willingly turn a blind eye are often the same ones who often complain they have dated "the wrong one". Why? Because one's past says a lot about a person. If you're about to marry a woman who has divorced multiple times, chances are that you are going to be the next ex-husband. If you're about to date someone who had cheated in the past, the odds of them cheating on you is greater. When it comes to body-count, I have made an entire post about it dedicated to that:Why The Number of Sexual Partners Matters

So yes, it is very important to know who you are dealing with before you choose to commit to that person. Before I buy a car, I want to know everything about its history. From milage to a damages to who drove the car. If I'm not careful, I end up buying a car that will require frequent maintenance or break down altogether. And no I'm not "objectifying" humans, this is a simple analogy.

Jean-Marie_Céline · Accepted Answer

Honestly, to me it's not that important, but my wife insisted to know all my past relationships and likewise talked me at lenght of hers, and it surely helped strenghten our bond.
I think that what matters is to be open with communication and ask questions to understand, not to judge.

Commander_Red · Accepted Answer

I don't need to know. I don't want to know. And honestly, I don't care. If a guy has had 10 girlfriends before meeting me, that's okay. If he's had 0, that's also okay. I don't want to judge someone based on their romantic history just as I expect the guy to not judge me on my history.

Some of the other answers here disappoint me as well. Not because they would want to know but their reasons. It just seems like a lot of assumptions. There could be many factors that play into someone's romantic history. The number shouldn't be important, just who they are now.

SamA_nold · Accepted Answer

I'd want to know if they'd slept with anyone who might have had an STD or other infection, for health reasons, but I don't need a detailed list of their bedtime adventures 🤔

OlderAndWiser · Answer

It is extremely important to know their current attitude about love, sex, and romance. She may have a checkered past but perhaps she realized that she needed to reform her ways.

Lliam · Answer

Not at all. My own romantic history is my business. I don't talk about how many relationships I've had or reminisce about former girlfriends with my current partner. That's just bad form. It's unnecessary and unproductive. And I don't want to know about her history. I'll assess her character myself, based on our interactions, without requiring a resume.

I'll add that I never had a girlfriend who was a virgin. Virginity has no value as far as I'm concerned. I support women's right to enjoy sex, just as guys enjoy sex. I'm interested in women who love men, love sex and are good at it.

Andres77 · Answer

It's something that I always enjoyed knowing.
My wife of 18 years and I spilled on everything at the beginning of our marriage.
Not everyone can handle all of what we did, but for us it worked. There was no shame nor guilt nor judgement for anything in our past. Plus we're pretty compatible, we'd both been with almost the same number of people.
And we both like hearing the raunchy stories so for us it's worked beautifully.
For us, yes, it was important and helpful. But not everyone can handle that knowledge.
Some spouses would judge and throw things that happened before they even knew each other in their face. That's not fair or right.
You have to work it out for the couple so that it benefits the marriage, not just what one person wants.

FriendlyDrugDealer · Answer

Personally no I don’t need to know. Only if they have kids or STDs. That’s it. If they’re willing to discuss it, I’ll go down that road but I never initiate the path. I’m also not going too deep into my past but if they ask I’ll do what I can but I always say don’t get in your feelings because you asked for it.

Qdbrown · Answer

Back in the day most people only had very limited sex, and number of romantic relationships.

Now people can be more than a 100 partners. They could be north of 200 partners so they could have all kinds of things living in them.

Plus it's good to know if they are short-termers, people who can't hold a relationship together anywhere near a year.

TwistedTube · Answer

Past experiences make a person. Learning about another's history makes you learn and understand them, so for me it's a very important part of proper bonding process. Not wanting to know about such history is, for me, the same as not wanting to know your partner properly

donkeyde · Answer

I say it’s somewhat important because it best to understand why the relationship they had in the past failed so you can avoid the pitfalls and also to see if there any red flags upfront to avoid the landline. Case I experienced 1st date with this woman telling me her abusive boyfriends she had, along with her best friends tracking us throughout the date, and finally her guy friend watching me pull up and getting my license plate number.

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

Some things are important to know. Like if any of your old partners pose a threat to you or me (like if they are stalking you now), if you were abused and need anything special or different from me that I need to know about, that's the stuff I feel i need to know.
Anything else my partner wants to tell me I'm fine with. It doesn't bother me to hear about someone's ex-partners. But if they would rather not tell me about their past relationships that's okay too

Floppy2112 · Answer

Yeah, its important to know your partner's history. It's part of who they are. I don't need details, just the facts. But you need an indication of their patterns of behavior and just to know them in general. You don't want to be deep in a relationship with a woman and find out she has something horrible in her past you cannot deal with. It's best to be upfront with your partner, unless it's a hookup, then nothing matters.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Its super important. Past behavior is the best prediction of future behavior. A girl who has casual sex is highly likely to cheat.

Also who wants to get serious w a girl and y'all go out to a bar and she knows every dude in there and they are all like "props bro isn't she tight asf im jealous she's yours now"

canucker90 · Answer

For guys - Do you want an STD, yes, I would want to know. I don't trust girls nowadays, I feel like girls sleep around a lot these days and I have lost more respect for girls behaving that way. They may be sexy to look at but I won't take them seriously beyond that because they are not trustworthy at the end of the day. I hope a girl reads this and I am not some pussy ass bitch who's going to remain anonymous or put the "no replies" button. A girl can read this and get mad at me, I don't care, for the amount of rejections and the idiotic direction society has taken in life I could care less and it doesn't bother me if some girl on GAG snaps at me regarding this point... Go ahead, I'm waiting.

PeacefulRainDrop · Answer

To some detail it is.. any crazies I want to know... his childhood I think is more important cause that shaped him into the man he is today.. I could care less about his body count.. its more than that to me

kitkills · Answer

Anyone particularly important I'd wanna know about. Anyone who had a big effect on their lives. Anyone else, I think just knowing their names would be enough. I don't know, I've always just flat out told people what my past partners names were and ended it there

NoLookingAtSoleil · Answer

It is important to be clear on whether you are intending on staying and being sexually and financially exclusive or whether you expect to fuck anyone else on the side.
Men seek loyalty, women often assume fucking around is not only permissible but desirable (in which case he should be doing the same and likely is way better at it, just an honest soul - and that should never be betrayed or abused, no matter how much female abuse gets promoted as the right thing these days)

devilish-cutie · Answer

extremely important, it says a lot about the person and if wed match as partners

Avicenna · Answer

In general, no, unless she thinks it's important to tell me, unless she was subject to violence (that's something you need to tell a partner once you're comfortable).

VanillaSalt · Answer

As far as I’m concerned if you’ve had 10xs the partners I’ve had and none of them were ltr… you a hoe and I don’t date hoes.

DarkCarousel · Answer

I want to know the things that have shaped his life-- so if it's important enough to share, absolutely.

sage2021 · Answer

Because he seems to get hooked up with women that have granny sex with him. They are 20+ years than both of us. He is like a dog that chases cars - any car will do him just fine. Weird!

SphynxUK · Answer

I like to know a brief bit of history. How many long term partners mainly. Anything else will crop up in conversations naturally within the relationship.

beebella · Answer

Maybe if they've had STDs or kids. Other than that, I don't see how it would be important.

Sheyhoney · Answer

It’s irrelevant but I just NEED to know it’s weird 😞😂

MountAverage · Answer

Yes, it is. Romantic and sexual relationships are a major part of people's lives, so why would I not want to know about them in someone I'm starting to date? I want to get to know her, don't I? You can't get to know someone without learning about their past.
Also, if someone's secretive about their past, it's a red flag.

DaveToo · Answer

The only thing that would be of interest to me is what she's willing to do. I don't need to know how many she's done what with or who.

MTC29 · Answer

If they're divorced I would like to know it, otherwise I could not care less about prior histories.

Redstang88 · Answer

Other than stds, kids or divorces I don’t really care. We’ve all got a past, as long that’s where it stays

Adam1978 · Answer

Eventually I should end up knowing her past. It's not something urgent and really not something that needs to be discussed early on.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Nope it’s nothing to do with you. It’s in the past. does it change they are? nope  so leave it alone

HairyPoppins · Answer

I want to know the basics but It is better if you don't share intimate details of your past relationships or make any kind of comparisons. You should never judge someone's past because we all have one so I would keep it to a minimum.

Anonymous · Answer

Looking back I would call up EVERY EX to find out the bad stuff and then the good stuff. Yep its been time to go there.

ThePolishKnight37 · Answer

Past is the past. If they are willing it is ok. But if it causes issues I will live without knowing. My guess is they will eventually talk about it the closer we get.

Azura_88 · Answer

Ofcourse they owe you especially when you're giving them your heart of gold.

JoeyG_7048 · Answer

Well that could be good or that could be bad depends how you look at it me myself I try not to look at people's past.

Stupid_Child · Answer

Yeah, it's pretty important, I'm not gonna commit for someone who belongs to the streets, like if they have a high body count, or kids, kids doesn't necessarily mean you belong to the streets but I just need to know if u have kids

exitseven · Answer

Everyone has a past. I would be more concerned with other things like honesty and kindness.

Anonymous · Answer

Depends on the history.
If it's nothing, then I'd like to know.
But I won't ask, because if it's not nothing then I don't want to know.
I'm totally fine with never speaking about it at all, and will actively avoid the subject.

Ninjazzed · Answer

It would be a crucial piece of information to know incase he tries to cheat on me with his ex.

SenseiSeptred · Answer

Yes because my previous experiences were horrible and if she has had equally horrible experiences, then we absolutely need to tell each other.

DiegoO · Answer

To certain degree. Where they met, why they felt attracted to each other. Funny stories between both (if there is any).

WalkingBassist · Answer

I think it shouldn't matter, unless they have an STD. I believe you have the right to know about that.

Pasiton5 · Answer

Only the ones where she just might happen to have picked up a std Or 3, that's kind of important to be informed of

Tinaaas · Answer

Not important but I might still be curious lol 🤷🏽‍♀️

friendzoned4life · Answer

Yes if she needed to date and fuck more than 2 assholes to find out that an actual good guy is one of the mature acting dudes she ain't worth love

AnthonyJ01 · Answer

If I had known my ex's history, I would still have the things she stole and threw away. I also would not have married her.

clampfan101 · Answer

There are a few things I’d need to know, but certainly not all the details.

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

It's nice to know if you're dating the town bicycle.

lycanthrope3 · Answer

I do not care, but if she wants to tell me, that would be hot, i would not judge

Anonymous · Answer

It is important because I will not commit to someone who is bisexual, or has a high body count

AdithyaR · Answer

Kinda important cause if they've cheated in the past or shown toxic behaviour, I'd not want to date them.

red324 · Answer

I'd like to know if she's a fling kind of girl or a relationship kind... Other than that I don't want to know.

jimmy2 · Answer

Start out with clean slate even you are not perfect

Anonymous · Answer

My ex used to have a black boyfriend. He's well known for being good in bed and having a giant dick. Last year she was cheating with him.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

It can say a lot about them as a person, so yes.

Anonymous · Answer

Doesn't matter although a lot of men think it does for some stupid reason.

pink_and_inlove · Answer

It is a bit because I’m a curious person

Woodsy05 · Answer

As long as there are no stds, I don’t care

JesseJayNeak · Answer

Yes, it's important. Because I'm VERY jealous

dudeinohio · Answer

Not at all important

Anonymous · Answer

Yea! Emotional STDs are as real as physical STDs

Is it important that you learn your partners romantic history?

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