Say a man is with a woman with the intention of being her husband one day, how comfortable should he be in the relationship?
Should he have her unconditional love knowing that he can do mostly anything without her leaving or should he feel as though if he messes up too much she will leave? Should he be as comfortable as possible so that the relationship can feel good and it can last? How comfortable should a man be so that he doesn’t take his wife’s love for granted?
How comfortable should a man be in a relationship?
There is no reason for a man to be any less comfortable than a woman. If you want to know the answer, look within yourself. Are you giving what you value, or do you expect to just be on the receiving end? Are all conditions mutually determined, or is one person making unilateral decisions? A relationship is a partnership, with neither being superior to the other. Seeking more than we bring to the relationship creates an imbalance, and any imbalance can lead to resentment and bitterness. Prioritize making sure both feel safe, secure and special at all times will raise the likelihood of the relationship thriving. This will lead both to feel equally comfortable. It requires mutual respect and true consideration for the other. If we're selfish, the other will become selfish. If we're selfless, the other will become selfless. We create our own destiny, both by those we choose and what we choose to do to keep the relationship new and alive.
Beautifully worded and I agree with all those things but then my question becomes how comfortable should they both be? Sorry if I missed your answer but it doesn't seem like you answered it
Both hopefully feel safe enough to allow vulnerability, for vulnerability is necessary for depth. I'm not sure this can be quantified, but if both allow vulnerability, then it exists. I see safety as a deeper form of comfort. Superficial comfort tends to be limited to what feels good for the moment.
Anyone, not just a man, should be very comfortable in their relationship. If not, it doesn’t make sense getting married. Being comfortable doesn’t equate to taking it for granted. No one should take someone’s love for granted, whether it be unconditional or not. But everyone should be comfortable enough to be their whole selves. If one has to change fundamentally just to be in a relationship, that’s pointless because 9 times out of ten, they’ll explode under the pressure. Surface changes are fine. Everyone makes surface changes to adapt to someone new (intimate or not). But everyone should be as comfortable as possible while not taking the other’s love for granted.
A man should get to the place where he’s comfortable being with her but not complacent. He needs to stay on his toes and never lose sight of the fact that she has options if he screws up. But that shouldn’t go without reward for his goodness either.
He should be very comfortable if his intentions are right, he respects her, he desires her, and he's confident in her love for him.
I saw the title and I clicked with the intention of talking about where I am. But your question is more about an early relationship.
I guess it's the same as I feel now but I've got 18+ years of proven performance backing me up, whereas at the beginning of the relationship it's more hope.
Love is a wonderful thing. Losing it is scary as fuck. As long as their both committed and treat each other with respect, even during the disagreements... there's a good chance for them.
Whether you are married or just you in a relationship the thing that makes you comfortable are the things that you do for each other knowing that you have each other's back you can't just think that you have something and it's yours forever whether you're married or not you have to work at it you have to give your significant other that confident that happiness and it has to be something that you both work at each and every day that piece of paper doesn't mean anything except for they own half of what you own that's all that means and that in God's eyes you are married
Women leave the relationship most of the time. Unconditional love is what you give your children not partners. Wedding vows, for instance, are conditions. You violate the vows, you broke the conditions of the marriage which can get it annulled. Men are never comfortable.
I have to pull you up on a few things in your question.
"Should he have her unconditional love knowing that he can do mostly anything without her leaving or should he feel as though if he messes up too much she will leave?"
He should feel comfortable to be able to do anything that he knows will not hurt her. If he loves and cares about her, those things I think you are talking about wouldn't even cross his mind!
At least that is how things are from my perspective.
If his partner has properly conveyed what they are and are not comfortable with, then he should be incredibly comfortable. He should be aware of what actions would cause issue and leave if that's a problem right off the bat. So for a relationship that is truly believed by him to be long term? Completely comfortable and secure.
A man should be as comfortable as he wants… a man don’t get buff to find women he gets buff for himself… if he changes after the relationship starts it just means he did it for the woman not himself. Weak and stupid,
I’ll never change for a woman she’s either happy with me or not if not move on idc.
Personally i want complete comfort i want to cuddle or kiss u or touch ur ass and anything without me worrying ur report me for sexualy harassing u and i want to be able to fart, shit or what ever if ur there and pick or blow my nose cuz let's be real we all do it... But yeh just completely like my girl will understand me i hope and won't mind the grumbby shit of me because all the good willn out weigh it aha x
He still has to be the man you met and even more. He cannot let himself regress and become complacent. He needs to keep with his appearance, work and putting you first. Like I said before. He has to remain the man you knew when you met. If he doesn’t, let him go.
Is that what I'm doing wrong? I'm supposed to be uncomfortable? I wouldn't be with anyone that I felt uncomfortable with. If I didn't trust her then I wouldn't I couldn't be with her.
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