Low self-esteem because of married man's inappropriate advances, help?

[Anonymous]

I need help. A married guy is hitting on me in various ways. He's been cute about it, trying to be a gentleman, but he also touched me subtly in sexual areas like my thigh or even my breast. It was slight and he made it look like an accident, but it was there. The "accidental" boob touch already happened two times.
He's my boss, so I decided to play it safe and act like I don't notice. When I was about to start a fight with him, I noticed that he could make my further life go down the drain so I play dumb right now.

Ironically, now that he's grown so used to me and is being very nice as a person, I feel so left out and isolated because he is in a relationship and I'm not. He constantly talks about his children, completely randomly mentions them to the point it gets awkward, and sometimes he mentions his wife too.
I've already tried to soothe the situation but I feel that this is getting too much. I feel like he has everything, he makes nice presents for his children's birthday, at the same time he looks at me with dreamy eyes, boob grazes me, flirts, sits close to me whenever possible and spreads his legs, tries to be a sensitive gentleman and at the same time macho.

This is getting to me because I feel so worthless for not being in a relationship myself. He has everything he wants, yet he also wants me, and doesn't care if he confuses or hurts me with his gallantry. I'm not in a position to cause a fight, so this is the better choice, but I feel so horrible and lonely. Everyone loves him and thinks he's the nicest, most decent, laid back guy, yet I don't know what he's really like if he can be so two-faced.
How can he be such a nice man and appear to be all professionally nice and charming and then, wham, first touch me "accidentally" and then right after that, mention his son? I feel like I'm developing slight cognitive dissonance.

[ohshee]

Okay first of all your low self-esteem you're putting yourself there to use that as an excuse you're the only one who can make yourself feel good or feel bad you have all the answers right there in your question everything you said is 100% correct all the good and all of the bad and let's just pretend for a few minutes that you let yourself go can you take that ride on the merry-go-round what's the final outcome going to be you're going to lose he's already told you about his kids his wife they come first you either have to put your foot down and save this is enough are you going to find another job I can tell you right now it's not going to end good and here's the thing about your question is you say so many things in it I'm which direction you wanted to go what you want to feel who you want to be you tried to run from it but at the same time you want it. And I'm not saying that you wanted from him I'm saying you just want it in your life you need to feel it it's driving you crazy if you want to why don't you send me a private message I want to ask you a couple things if that's okay if not it's cool I understand

[Gomezaddam51]

Well if he wants you, you are not worthless, since you are worth something in his eyes. Get him aside and ask him what his intentions are and tell him you don't want to be left dangling, you want to know where you fit into his life or if you fit at all. Tell him how you feel and tell him you notice his touches and it is confusing you. Don't make threats or make a fuss, just ask calmly and quietly and act normal.
Once you find out what he really wants, then you can make the decision to go for it or not. You might have to leave the job and get a new one. Or you might end up having a wild passionate affair that will rock your world.
I was in a sort of similar situation where I was the "aggressor". There was a young married woman who was 33 and her husband that joined the group I hung out with. I was 50 and I got the hots for her, I would talk to her, "accidentally" touch her and and basically treated her way nicer than her husband. Finally she got me aside and asked me what my intentions were and I told her I had the hots for her and wanted to screw her brains out. We started a hot torrid affair for the next year, she even told me she thought about leaving her husband and kids for me. Her husband finally got a job in a different city and she moved with him. I found out later she left him and her kids and went off with another guy.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Get yourself some video or audio evidence, just in case there comes a time where his inappropriate touching turns into something more predatory.

[Avicenna]

Can you change jobs or report him to HR?

[humanearth]

Go above his head and report to HR

[Iron_Man]

Report the pig

[Anonymous]

Report to his wife