How do I raise a man’s self esteem?

[Greicifh]

lol this sounds silly but he’s always making rude comments to others and me about appearance or outer things. I personally think outside doesn’t matter. I’m insecure about my looks and I try not to comment on others cause I know how that feels.

inside matters.

I wanna start complimenting him on specially when he puts me down

Im in love with him lowkey I have dreams about him. He’s so handsome when I see him from afar even I just can’t look away. I don't know if it’s possible to be that handsome? Wtf. I usually don’t focus so much on a man’s looks. I don't know I guess my brain or eyes thinks he’s a glass of water on a hot day? Sorry I had to get that out cause he looks so good to me it’s weird af but his inside is great too aside from some stuff I don’t like. He has good qualities.

Should I tell him I’m in love with him and he’s so handsome? It’s just the truth. I wouldn’t be expecting anything from it. I just wanna say the truth LoL

[ClassicDropout]

Well I'd say do a little bit of digging first to find out why he's saying rude things about people. If it's out of a place of insecurity then you could try quietly reaffirming his good qualities without being too obvious. If he's just doing to to be a dickhead then he's cooked. There's no changing that from the outside.

[Greicifh]

How do I tell which he is doing or being?

[ClassicDropout]

As someone with self esteem issues, I can say that I used to go after conventionally attractive people and point out their flaws. Very rarely did I ever insult some that I thought also had it rough. I was mainly doing it just to give people a hard time when I thought they had it way better than me. I can't speak for others, maybe I'm just a piece of shit, but I hope that at least sheds some light on the issue

[Greicifh]

Thank you for sharing that. What do you think a lady could do that would make you feel less like doing that? Just being positive and complimenting you?

[ClassicDropout]

Not to sound clingy or soft but I just kinda wished girls would choose to spend time with me. Just being around girls without being made fun of or made to feel like I was inconveniencing them makes me feel more confident

[Greicifh]

Cool thanks :) I like spending time with someone as well. I wish someone did that to me too.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

This man is not going to love himself just because you love him. You can try, and by all means attempt a relationship with him, knowing men they need the external validation before they begin any inner work anyhow, but that’s not a guarantee of success. I’d recommend doing couple’s counseling if you end up dating, say it’s just like doing maintenance on a car but for a relationship instead and he should go along with it. That should help more than just your singular, external validation would.

[Kayleigh2005]

I don't know much, but fixing a guy is a trap

[Greicifh]

Am I fixing him? I just wanna make him feel better lol

[NathanDavis]

exactly, this

[bowenw]

Just because you are insecure about your appearance does not mean you cannot compliment others. Before you tell him how you feel about him I suggest you get to know him better. Personally I could not be with someone that makes rude comments to me and others. You will have to decided for yourself if you can live with that.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[NathanDavis]

if you want a fixer-upper... let that be a house, and not an immature man...

[Greicifh]

lol wait what.

[NathanDavis]

don't bother with a careless guy that has yet to grow up... don't do that to yourself, lol

[Greicifh]

lol. I don't know why I fell in love with him. He doesn’t seem totally immature. Hmm.

[NathanDavis]

he is ALWAYS rude to you, and to others... lol

are you trolling me here (=

[Greicifh]

No he’s complimented me a bunch. He’s charming gets on with everyone. I think I’m very sensitive. But he says little things which I guess I wouldn’t say to others cause I’d worry it would offend them.

[NathanDavis]

well, that was an 180... twist, lol

[Greicifh]

Yeah I’m possibly autistic. I may be weird. But he isn’t a caveman. So I don't know what to do I guess I just have to try a few things and see what works. I love him so I don’t wanna ignore and abandon him anymore.

[spartan55]

Isn't this the guy that 'abuses' you about your appearance and you don't talk to him?

[spartan55]

So, you are going to fix him by telling him how great he is? You are out of your mind.

[ChiTown33]

Insecure? How do you figure?

[Greicifh]

He’s making jokes about my looks and others

[ChiTown33]

Yeah, exactly HOW does that make HIM insecure?

[Greicifh]

I see nothing changed here. Still useless answers given by you. Have. Nice life.

[ChiTown33]

I see still asking troll questions. But I give it to you. At least you had the guts to do it non anonymously. You have a nice life as well.

[Plugs]

How do u both look

[jahaims]

You have lust and infatuation not love