How to process emotions/feelings from past love?

[Anonymous]

Have you ever gotten over a love? How did you do it?

In my case, I gave my all to her and I accepted what little I received in return. It was unrequitted love, in a friendzone. I treated her as my family when she pursued other boyfriends. I eventually migrated away giving less time, but would still give my piority. The challenge is I don't see it with anger, it was what I was programmed to do... devalue myself, so it felt right. Now with the help of my girlfriend, I'm out of that and see it better, but the feelings... those are hard to process.

Did you get angry? write letters? just move on?

[StarryNightLights]

Breakups are never easy and it's a real struggle to move on from something, exorcism if you've grown over many years with this person.

You did your best, and that is all you could do. We are people, we change and grow and mature and things about us do too. We're not the same person we were 5 years ago, or as we were yesterday.

first, give yourself time to be sad and cry if you have to, smack around a punching bag of your feeling built up anger or hatred, or start taking walks around to help calm and clear your mind.
Do something that helps you relax and think clearly so you can process these emotions.

Why do you feel you need to devalue yourself? You did your best, you have this woman your effort, time, commitment, everything you could. There is no reason you need to feel guilty or shameful or like you didn't do enough for her either.
Maybe she needs time to grow into whom she wants to become, maybe she was feeling disconnected from herself or needs time being alone to work on her own life and aspirations.

Sometimes breakup happen for that very reason. one person isn't happy with themselves and realizes this, and the only way to be happy with someone rise is to first be your own source of happiness.

I think you should focus on letting yourself feel what you need to, and get your mind into things that can help keep your thoughts off the "what did i do" type of self critical thoughts.
you are your own person. You were fine without her before you two met and you will be just fine without her now.
it's hard, but keep yourself busy or try a new hobby (art, Journaling, photography, golf, site seeing, etc) visit some friends or family, even call them to chat a a reminder you have good people who are there and can help talk things out with you too.

You will be okay. Don't be so hard on yourself for something you tried so hard for, this is a lesson and you got the opportunity to grow as your own individual person too, for the entire time you two were together.
Better things lie ahead. Life brings many people, new opportunities and new encounters every day.

[Asker]

a thorough response, but not sure applies to what I wrote in the description. I guess there's different types of scenarios. I can't find feelings of sadness or anger.