Is it a Red Flag 🚩 if a woman has not been in a real relationship since high school or college?

Question

Trust not that I don’t want one. I’m not even sure how to be in one really.

I think the thing that gets me is the whole vulnerability part of it all trying to trust someone when you know a lot of situations where they’re Cheaters liars people who may be with you but somebody else at the same time

it’s just kind a hard to navigate

I would absolutely love to be in a real relationship where I can just be myself and give myself to one person

TangBang69 · Accepted Answer

Many sit their lives out at home or alone in that thought of finding what perhaps they may never find. It was diminishing quickly before technology brought the 2nd flooding of the Earth with internet and social media that sit as a sea of infinite temptation, opportunity and the notion that something better could be around the next every corner. Every damn body, wants more and better and 19 of 20 will spring to seize opportunity to gain for themselves in pursuit to appease themselves. After deeper thought I don't think I can reach a whole 10 people in my life I can say that were truly and genuinely honest straight and true to honesty, integrity and honor , now certainly all washed away.
I've spent over half my expectancy of life on many an expedition in the quest to find that queen that a king dies for with honor. In coming close more than once realized, a king dies with honor for his queen, only a fool dies for the queen not loyal. In conclusion, I now wager to say bigfoot will be found in the forest before loyalty is found in this sea What measures the true integrity of people is their actions when thinking nobody is watching and loyalty displayed to themself in who they say they are and what they believe to stand firm in it to not change up or deny it according to who is watching and/or present, or a guy that is sweet when alone with his girl but then be a dick to her in front of friends and all proclaim themselves to be loyal to convince it that way. But the thing is, if it was there, then it would not need be said.
Got my heart broke hard a few times in life, but misery builds character so now I'm a character lol , one I regret no part in becoming. But wisdom observed and hindsight say a broken heart is self inflicted , so I don't seek loyalty or declare it because that is how it happens. The unbreakable bond is the bond not made. Honesty is the last chance for respect to survive and ~forever are friends in freewill , forever banished are friends in betrayal.~
Who don't like sex? But if a man expects privilege to handle a girl that way should strive to make that experience the one of her life, not his. If he truly digs you is from within and would be the vibe he puts out or seen in his eyes in how he looks at you, if he doesn't know how to treat you or speak to you, he has no clue about how to touch you either to say he does not deserve to.

Lionman95 · Accepted Answer

No because that´s not a bad thing and could also be turned in a good thing because it shows that you don´t go out with everyone that asks.
The point where you really love someone is a good goal for a relationship and it´s even better when both parties have this goal.

paradiseonearth93 · Accepted Answer

you are me. you aren’t alone 💓 I don’t trust anyone really and it seems like everyone is so flaky with their feelings and what love is, I don’t think anyone knows what they’re doing and they treat others so poorly. It’s just a mess that I don’t feel confident being part of. And with social media, guys thirst after a new girl dependent on the pic she drops each day. I have guys in my dms that are married or in a serious relationship trying to flirt with me and it gives me no hope. I don’t mind being alone since I always have but I also do want a man in my life permanently but it just seems like that’s impossible. I’m almost 27 and my only and longest relationship was 6 months and it was a disaster. Other than that I just reject guys a lot because they just seem to thirst after any available woman.

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

You basically answered your own question. You know you have trust issues.

You don't allow anyone to get close enough to hurt you. You keep yourself preemptively walled off, sounds like. (That, and yes, it is not all that easy to find great people you're really compatible with. There's a lot of luck involved with that too. But if you go your entire prime dating years and don't get involved with anyone, it's probably about expectations and being too particular about who you see yourself with.)

aWes0MeNeSs · Answer

I wouldn't think so, as there are many reasons for it, with many of those reasons being perfectly valid.

sunshineglow · Answer

You are absolutely normal, absolutely dateable person. You have standards. You have self respect. You have ability to identify what do you want in a S. O. Why to beat yourself up for other people NOT having them and basically twist it up as if you're the one who has issues. They do. You can relax. I wish you all the luck and blessings to find a right person and not random creeps. All the best to you. 🌼❤️

Juan_Curious · Answer

For me, Red Flag is a discriminatory term. What does "red flag" mean? Not take a person seriously? Have him/her just for sex and nothing more than that, just because he/she has "too many red flags"?
Said that, yes, for sure, people (men and women, too) have many prejudices. And these prejudices are even normal, because a relationship is a thing of two people and both of them must feel fine with what they have. But using the "red flag" excuse so to avoid respecting a person, well, that's the real Red Flag.

Mangospacho · Answer

That is not a red flag. If you went from toxic relationship to toxic relationship, that might be a red flag. But it’s also only been maybe 4-5 years? That’s not a big deal. Plus, you probably know what you want in a guy by this point so it might actually be a better sign that you’re looking seriously instead of just dating someone because you’re bored. I broke up with a serious girlfriend when I was 21, wasn’t in a relationship again until I was 27 then got married at 28 so I’m speaking from experience.

hahahmm · Answer

The trick is to ease into trusting someone... as they prove they are trustworthy. And don't ignore evidence that they aren't trustworthy. A lot of people skip this and act like the person they just started dating is their soul mate on day one but that's not smart.

You also got to be trustworthy. That means not doing shady things. Time and time again on G@G I see people claiming that it's no big deal if they have opposite sex friends while in a relationship. Yeah, it is a big deal if you're giving the one you're with the impression that they're just a number or you need secret/alone time with other potential partners. A LOT of people don't get it. Probably because they want the freedom to keep looking while pretending not to be looking. Doesn't mean you can't have friends but there's dumb was to go about it and smart ways. Ha ha.

spartan55 · Answer

Yeah 🚩red flag for sure. I would suggest getting those trust issues resolved before getting in a relationship. Because if you start accusing/questioning based on nothing but your insecurities, no guy will tolerate that very long.

illallowit · Answer

no. Everyone has reasons for waiting.. and Yours sound pretty viable! Dating can be brutal. I don't believe you have trust issues. You have issues with men sending you dick pics and getting sexual with you too soon. I wouldn't trust those guys either.

horsenrhinounicorn · Answer

I see what you did as getting your life in order, taking care of your education and career and looking for a serious relationship rather than for fun. Now its a matter of finding a man that you love who is serious about you and when the search begins it takes a lot of time and energy.

Floppy2112 · Answer

Depends on her age. If she is 30+, yeah it's a red flag unless there are extenuating circumstances that prevented her from dating during her prime dating years.
If you want the outcome of being in a relationship and maybe even married someday, you have to take risks. If you are risk averse, you won't get shit. No 'the right guy' won't just find you and you won't just meet 'the right guy' without any effort.
So I have a crazy story related to this very thing: The 'right guy will come', lie. See the 'My Take' for the cautionary tale.

mobiusforniner · Answer

I had a friend like this. she's in her mid 30s and hasn't had a relationship since college. She dates guys but won't make anything of it. And when guys, myself included, developed feelings for her, she raised the barbed wire fence and purged them from her life. I feel she had emotional or trust issues, so yeah its a red flag

NicoletteXO · Answer

I think it is definitely a red flag.

Even your reasons for not having been in a relationship are a red flag - they show fear and lack of trust. It's always possible that people will do bad things in relationships - but to never get into one to avoid that is the sign of a person who could use some healing to deal with their fears.

I wish you well if you attempt to heal!

Morgador · Answer

Your very focus on you and what you may expect out of life. Your probably very focus on school or work. Nothing wrong with that. Don't let influence change who you are. We all are different and if someone likes us they will except you for who you are

DiegoO · Answer

🤦 What's the point of seeking something genuine if you are not gonna genuinly trust your partner or potential parter?

🤦What's the point of been insecure about something you can't control? For example: your partner deciding to cheat on you, or brrakup.

...🤷

Assi2k · Answer

Yes it’s a red flag. Means she doesn’t have the skills to sustain one

Rebel1003 · Answer

Not so much a red flag... she may have a very good reason for it such as bad exp with prior guys or maybe she just smart enough to deal with life and preparing herself for future before she decides to date

t-8900 · Answer

Ok I gotta share something with you then so you know not to ever give up on love. I'll pm you

DangerouslyGorgeous · Answer

It’s not bad. I’m 27 now and still have not been in a real relationship. Just haven’t ran into the right kind of guy yet. This generation is so warped that it makes things super difficult to find a person who is serious enough to want to be in a committed relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

Prior to being with my current boyfriend. I hadn't been in a relationship since the second month of my freshman year of college. I met my guy 5 years later. He is the only guy I've been with in 8 years and most likely will be the last. He doesn't and did mind it at all lol. I think he might even like me more because of it. We're both pretty goal oriented and driven. He likes how intelligent and hard working I am.

No red flags here.

ThatNoUVAtYourEyes · Answer

I'd consider it a huge green flag to be honest,
The meaningless sex promoters (cheaters who need pray) have been beating the drum of 'oh you must be with someone' for the past decade or so.
Apart from them needing new victims, there isn't a reason to just be with someone to not be single.
I have met plenty of people who did that, and none are or were happy

Shihab91 · Answer

You are sensitive , you watch others break up get cheated on , and you think this might happen to you as well

Is it a Red Flag 🚩 if a woman has not been in a real relationship since high school or college?

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