How to deal with fear when it comes to leaving my child alone with my boyfriend?

Anonymous
So me and my boyfriend have known each other from work for over 4 years, and have been together for over a year and I have to go to an appointment and he will be watching my 11 year old daughter for the first time. We have decided to move to live in a city, and I don't have any family or friends around to watch because they live in New York, and we live in Puerto Rico. The appointment is on the weekend and have been having trouble getting to any sitter 🙄

Ok so here's my delema, the appointment says to not bring any children with me, and so my boyfriend will be watching my child alone for the first time. I trust him, but... I have this fear that all men are capable of sexual abuse, and I know that's a blanket statement but here's why... I was sexually abused as a child at 12 and it happened for years, until my mother found out the truth. She broke up with her boyfriend and then treated me like another woman and abused me physically. I was 15. A rocky relationship, but luckily that is repaired now.
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My boyfriend knows about my sexual abuse, and know how I feel. I've seaked counseling and it was really hard.

I have been trying so hard not to freak out and cry about it. He would never do anything to hurt my child, I trust him, he is a Pediatrician and have been working with children for years and would never risk his career he has sacrificed his whole life for... But I just can't help but feel terrified of leaving him alone with my child, I just can't help feel this fear because I would die if anything happened to my child...

I just don't know how to deal with my own feelings about this?

It's been a fear of mine since I separated from my daughter's father. I haven't had a serious boyfriend for over 8 years because I've been avoiding men due to this fear that my child could be a victimized. So this is a big deal, and it terrifies me.
How to deal with fear when it comes to leaving my child alone with my boyfriend?
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