My boyfriend thinks I used him and I can’t convince him otherwise?

[Anonymous]

hello, we’ve been dating for a year. (i am a 20f, he’s 26m). I don’t understand why he thinks I lied to him. One day he asked me how much money I had and ani said a couple thousand. I didn’t state how much I had. The next day, I got financial aid (because I go to college) and told him how much money I had now. He thought I was lying to him, and that I used him. He’s never paid my bills or gave me actual money but I admit that when we’re together I always expect him to pay for things, which I regret leaving that responsibility on him. Thanksgiving is near, abs he doesn’t want me to come with him, and I can’t convince him otherwise that I actually love him. *typo for abs it’s and

[PrettyPriya]

I think this is his issue. You clearly didn't lie to him. I do think, you should at least be 50/50 in some areas of finance after a year.

Why don't you sit down and have a heart to heart telling him why you don't think you used/lied to him. Explain you side. Stay positive and non argumentative. Hopefully, he listens and understands.

I would be careful and make sure you state that it was NEVER your intention to make him feel like that and you are sorry if you did.

[Asker]

he won’t even meet me. i’m trying to convince him right now.

[PrettyPriya]

Ok, time to apply a little pressure to get him to think. Should you choose, you can say something like "When you are ready to talk, I will be here to listen. Until then, I will give you some time."

[Asker]

i’m trying to, he’s blocking me, he’s threatening to kill himself.. i don’t know what to do..

[PrettyPriya]

You need to get outside help!

@chrismaster69 Suggestion for user as I don't know what Europe/American suicide hotlines or other options are.

[ChrisMaster69]

@ Pink asker, if you Google suicide support it will show up your countries main help lines.

For the UK it’s samaratins

[PrettyPriya]

@ChrisMaster69

Thank you for chiming in. I agree with him. Google this for your country. Perhaps get another friend of his or parent involved. That is serious.

[Asker]

his parents think i’m in the wrong. obviously because i don’t have their numbers, so i can’t explain my side of the story. i feel helpless.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Like flushing a toilet your relationship is probably about to take a dump & in your next relationship make sure you tell your next boyfriend that you expect him to pay for everything as well.

[Asker]

it feels like it

[boggboss]

All u can do is say sorry for expecting him to pay for enemmverthing and explaining that u do love him and things will change

[Anonymous]

Not sure why he feels that way. I like paying and feel I should be paying for dates.

[Asker]

i should’ve helped more. he’s so hard to convince. now i’m trying to convince him to talk to me

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know. His stance just sounds odd to me. You're 20 and he's 26. In all likelihood he has a lot more money than you. That's just what you'd expect with those ages. It's also pretty normal for a guy to pay for most of the dating.

It's not like you were asking him to pay your bills. Is he rich or something? Because that just sounds like an unreasonable stance for him to take. Based on what you've said.

[Asker]

(to the male opinion owner) he’s not rich. and using someone is taking their money and making someone pay the bills and whatnot but he thinks that i used him because he paid for dinner dates and going out and flights to see his parents (ON HOLIDAYS). he has more money than me, and he’s not rich.

[Opinion Owner]

I guess he's entitled to his opinions. But going on flights to see his parents is definitely on him. They're not your parents. Dates to me is something I pay for. It's nice if a girl offers occasionally but it's not expected.

Even if I had issues with it. I'd bring up that I don't think it's equal enough. Not simply breakup for feeling used. I'd talk it out.

If you want to prove things. You can dig up your bank records and tax records. To prove how much you had before, your income and how much financial aid was. But it seems to me that you should be more pissed at him for how little he thinks about you to consider you a liar and a leech. That's the kind of thing I'd show someone to prove how much an ass they are before never speaking to them again.

I couldn't say how to convince him. Because he sounds unreasonable. Reasoning doesn't work with unreasonable people.

[Asker]

We’ve talked about equality and I started helping out with things here and there. I can’t convince him neither, its really hard to convince him (I’ve seen him shit on his parents because he thought they were against him). Plus I told him my financial situation and he just doesn’t care. Now he wants me to pay back the tickets and he willingly bought them for me!!! let’s work it out, and actually see your parents for Thanksgiving!!

[Asker]

Now he says he’s going to take someone since I won’t pay him. great!!!

[Opinion Owner]

I know you love him. But it sounds like you dodged a bullet. Everything you've said makes me think he has some issues. There's nothing wrong with you or what you've done.

[IncognitoBandito]

Well how often was he paying for meals/activities, like several times a week?

[Asker]

all the time, and i regret it. i paid for some but not all

[Twalli]

Start paying for, at least your stuff, when you go out.

[Asker]

if he ever wants to go out with me. i’m trying my best to convince him.

[noohair]

He will regret missing the Holiday with you. But he is stewing in his head.

[bamesjond0069]

Your boyfriend is a loser.

[Anonymous]

You both had sex?