How do I push aside my feelings for a girl and keep moving forward to make myself a better and stronger person?

[Anonymous]

I am a sophomore in college, and I am on the track team. There is a girl named Hailey, who is also a sophomore on the track team. When I first saw her, I thought she was beautiful. Every practice since the first practice, I have felt myself becoming more attracted to her. When she and I first met, she and I got along well. She and I still get along well. But the more I have become attracted, the more I have not initiated any contact with her. Even though I like her, ironically, I do not want to have these feelings. I had a crush on a girl named Carly back in high school, and it ended in a hurtful and embarrassing way. She embarrassed me at our Junior Prom and I ended up going home and crying myself to sleep. Because of that, I went into college not looking for love. I believe that time will come when the time is right. I was born with high functioning autism, and I have social anxiety due to being bullied back in high school. I want to approach her, but she is always with her friends. Plus, there are two guys she gets along with extremely well including this guy named Mitch. I am waiting for the track meets to start so she can see I am a strong athlete. I am one of the fastest sprinters on the team and I plan on being the fastest. How do I handle this situation? Should I take it one step at a time, or should I try to push it aside and avoid myself from getting my feelings hurt.

[Ailito]

I personally have a lot in common with you and a lot of experience to help you.

And based on all my experience I say, 😐 just get it over with.

Otherwise before you know it you have spent all your school time just on the verge of talking to her and nothing has been done and now she's gone and you have lost all that time.

Just go up to her, don't wait for her to be alone just go up and when her conversation has a pause in it, ask her if you can talk to her for a moment.

Then just be honest and tell her you've liked her for a long time. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO MAKE EYE CONTACT.
a lot of people say you have to, but that's not always true. And trust me, if she wants eye contact you will know. She will either ask you to look at her or she will move around and try to make eye contact if she wants it.


I wasted my school years thinking of what other people thought of me, of what my crushes thought. I never stayed focus and it screwed up my school days. I wasn't able to stay on sports and wasn't able to keep to the books.

Don't lose your mind in those heart shaped clouds.

If she rejects you, then that's it. Don't go after her. Just tell her you understand, and move along. Crushes hurt, that's why it's called a crush.
Don't ever let that keep you down tho. Keep moving forward.

[horsenrhinounicorn]

Thanks for sharing Ailito

[Anonymous]

I would advice to try to relax about it (I know it is not easy but just do your best) and get to know her better when the chance of it is there. Seems like you don't know each other that well, maybe you find out you fit well together, then you can ask her out, but maybe you actually don't and then hopefully easier to push feelings away/lose the feelings.

[SteveSmith1985]

I think you should definitely go for it! I'm sorry you had such a rough time with that girl and Jr. Prom. But... You can't stop yourself from having feelings for girls, and you'd be doing yourself a huge disservice if you don't date for fear of being hurt again.

You really really should do what you can to get to know her better. To become someone who she's used to talking to regularly. So yes, talk it one step at a time. But DO take steps. I would say that step 1 is simply making a point to talk with her more often.

But you're not going to save yourself pain by not dating. It's just a different flavor of pain. Plus you'd be denying yourself all the good parts about dating.

I think you should not fight these feelings. You should persue something with this girl. Otherwise you'll always wonder what might have happened

[_no_one_]

If it's affecting other elements of your life, just tell her how you feel; if it goes well, you'll have a partner to help you feel better. If things don't go as planned, you'll feel unhappy and enraged, which you must funnel into productivity by staying motivated. The latter works great for me since I am not distracted and can focus entirely on what is important.
Since you wanna show her your strength in the track meets you already have a shit ton of motivation, you'll just have to channel that focus to train yourself to victory. Good luck.

[CamembertAnus]

in my opinion you should muster up the courage to talk to her, and to eventually invite her on a date.

Don't waste your time trying to become good enough for her. After all, you don't know what "good enough" means for her. You're guessing.

Instead, make a move, and you will get feedback. Maybe the feedback will hurt. Maybe it won't.

But the reason rejection hurts is because you really wanted something and didn't get it. Ironically, rejection hurts BECAUSE love is such a big deal.

So get back in the (love) game. That is my advice.

[DaveJord]

Come on man, seriously? Do never want have sex with a women again,

Everybody gets hurt once at some piont. She probable thinks your a jerk or ass if your trying to ignore here. Sack up and be a man. Ask her out, and if she says no... who cares there will another.

Do not go talking about being scared of getting hurt with a chick until after date 7 or 8. And do not share your highschool story until date 10 or 12 if ever.

[libsaretards]

Talk to her. Just confess you like her. If she likes you back, then see where it goes. If not, at least you know and can put it out of your head and focus on other goals. A closed mouth never gets fed.

[Sualina]

Perfect ":)

[Birdlegs]

Well you’ll have to see her everyday so you can’t quite just avoid it so I would say if you want her go for her and if it doesn’t work then it’ll be far easier to just pursue your goals on the team since you’ll know there’s nothing there

[Anonymous]

I'm learning to guard my heart after becoming very interested in a girl that just didn't feel that way after seemingly so for 3 months online. So I know I don't want to go through that again. I think when it's good for both, they will accept you for who you are.

[sensible27]

Do you genuinely like her?

"But he who dares not grasp the thorn should never crave the rose"

[kaiaebi_aebi05]

yes man i would go in for her if things dont turn out right you can just use it as motivation and focus on your track, girls like it when a guy has a goal, thus making the more attractive.

[AnggieGirl]

Hard to avoid that. But make sure you keep up with your homework and assignments firsthand.

[genericname85]

how about this: don't completely push it aside. set a time budget for stuff related to her and don't exceed it.

[uncutfun]

Grow a pair,.. meant that in a good way... many fish in the sea...

[Morgador]

Absolutely not. You need to move on