Why can’t he do the fricking dishes?

[Cupcake9367]

I am the main cook between me and my boyfriend. And when I spend a while on a nice meal, I would appreciate it if he took the initiative to do the dishes. I personally HATE a dirty kitchen in the morning because I work from home in that area in the mornings (it’s the only place I can work because my boyf is in the living room). There’s something about trying to start your day and being surrounded by yesterdays filth… uh. And my boyfriend doesn’t mind doing the dishes the next day. But he doesn't do them by the time I need the kitchen space. So I feel I have to do the dishes at night myself because I don’t trust that he will do them in time. So not only do I spend ages cooking (which I enjoy but its still effort and tiring) but I also end up doing the dishes too! When dinner isn’t much effort (like a frozen pizza) I dont care… but its when I put my heart into a meal I think my boyf will like, spend lots of time over it, and he can’t be bothered to do the dishes… like really? Don’t get me wrong he does the dishes at night sometimes but I need more from him. Has anyone else had an issue with dishes in their relationship?

[horatiohornblower]

There’s usually spots of downtime when I’m cooking. I just rinse whatever I don’t need and put it in the dishwasher while cooking. Washing larger items. Then whatever is left is a short wash as soon as I’m done eating. Makes life easier.

For anything in the oven. When possible, I make ample use of parchment paper and aluminum foil. Makes that cleanup real quick.

[Cupcake9367]

See I do all this too but there are obviously still things to do later, and of course wiping down the kitchen counters etc…

[AviatorTom]

He's doing the dishes (good for him) but not on your time frame.

Suggestion: Do the dishes with him at the time you want. Do that a couple times, and reward him by saying how much you appreciate him doing the dishes, and pointing out how clean the kitchen is. He should get the idea, and start doing the dishes himself at your desired times. If not, you'll have to live with it and emphasize his better characteristics and habits.

[Fireguy17]

we both pitch in, she cooks I take care of cleaning up, I cook she takes care of cleaning up, it is just what you do.
You are not his servant, you are a team, it is time he puts on his big boy pants and helps out more.
If it really bothers you you really need to talk about it, otherwise it will never fix itself.
Sometimes it is the little things that bother you the most.

[exitseven]

I always do the dishes after my wife cooks. She does the dishes when I cook as well. We never wait for the next day. When we get takeout I always make a big deal by saying I will do the dishes while I throw all the pizza boxes and stuff into the trash.

[nawtee_me]

In my relationship with my ex wife I had issues with the dishes... She kept throwing them at me... lol No really she did. I would come in from work and have to duck or get hit... At the time she had thyroid problems and didn't know it and the hormonal imbalance had her all over the place emotionally...

[Neosporin]

No I guess this is one of the reasons why being single is awesome. I hate cooking but I don’t mind doing dishes or cleaning in general so I’d be the perfect match for you haha. If I were you I’d just cook for myself at that point.

[Cupcake9367]

Haha! He does it sometimes. And he is normally the one who empties the dishwasher in the mornings… but man would I prefer he put that energy into the dishes the night before.

[spartan55]

Have you shared this concern with him? Are you holding up your end of the relationship?

[HighValue]

Try using disposable dishes like paper plates, etc. and throw them away after.

[Anonymous]

Sounds familiar. Get a dish washer such that you both may live in harmony. He'll probably fill and empty it because it's a machine. It's a boy thing.

[Pogi-Paddy-2]

I wouldn't know about that, maybe it is because I have this contraption in my kitchen called a dishwasher. So I never have dirty dishes.
🤣

[Soleil8000]

Who has a bigger brain between the two of you?
I hazard a guess _that_ is what is irritating you

[Anonymous]

What does he so for a job
and what do you do for a job

[bamesjond0069]

Its a womans job to cook and clean.

[Anonymous]

You do it that is love

[Cupcake9367]

So why doesn't he?

[lpoots]

he is a lazy bastard who will never change

[Anonymous]

Have you told any of this to your boyfriend yet?

[Anonymous]

Does he need more from you? Just askin.

[Jmmmfi4]

Because that's a girls job

[Anonymous]

THAT'S A WOMAN'S JOB