Do relationships happen to you or do you choose them?

[Evealyn]

[ItsMeElliana]

it happened to me... when i least expected it. I didn't know it would change me so much, but I'm really glad I met this person. he makes me happy, and honestly I'd lost all my friends and just lost hope in 2020 quarantine, when schools got closed and i couldn't meet my friends, thats when i met him, and we really got close and felt so connected so easily, and are comfortable around each other now, and he makes me happy and kept me wanting to wake up everyday for him, if not for someone else. he's also made me realise i shouldn't just be dependent and completely attached to him, and focus on myself too... so i am trying

[Aerissa_Jade]

A little of both, the best relationships just happened, usually setup by someone who knew us both... but others I or he, pursue and we choose them.

[AmandaYVR]

Meeting people can happen by happenstance, but everyone chooses relationships. To be in one, or not, is always a choice. (Two peoples' choices.)

[petitedollbabee]

Mostly by chance. I’ve always gone into relationships with only expecting the bare minimum - my partner must have basic hygiene and not be abusive. They also must know how to communicate on a level where if we have arguments, they are not having temper tantrums and shutting down. They can express their feelings and we can work through things together in a healthy way. Everything else in a relationship I leave up to chance and just go with the flow. It’s always worked out best that way. Most relationships I’ve had, I’ve become friends with someone and later on started dating as we have gotten closer. I’ve never really dated someone who right off the bat asked me out without me getting to know them prior.

[Slartybartfast]

Guys usually don't have options unless they are a wealthy athlete or movie star.

We take what we can get and hope they don't ruin our lives.

Dating for me was always a hated chore, it's risky, expensive, and often humiliating. I never dated anyone I was interested in and could buy a second home with the money I spent just trying unsuccessfully to get a date.

Usually they spend me to bankruptcy ,. Destroy my self esteem then cheat on me and dump me.

I honestly wish my first girlfriend had poisoned my coffee.

[sunseat]

you definitly chose to be in them. it takes more than making out or hooking up. as i see it, a relationship implies certain levels of compromise, responsability and overall full involvement. and you have to consciusly choose to do this things. you can catch a fis, a cold, but never casually get a relationship.

[Cheechee4me]

Both depending on the circumstance. I gave it a little nudge with my fiancé. He and I were on a dating app. He was in the process of deleting his profile when he got a notification that I said hi. I was brand new. He wasn’t fancy looking or rich. Just a hard working man who I knew would love me as much as I loved him.

[t-8900]

It comes down to yes or no. Will I go on the date? Will I have sex? Will I text back? Will we continue? All of that is choice, not chance. Chance is in finding them but the relationship is all choice.

[chickenqueenl]

My current relationship just happened. I didn't want to fall in love with my coworker. He's a bad boy and I'm not usually into those. But we didn't choose it, it just happened.

[Evealyn]

Is he just a bad boy in the bed (you know like talking you dirty, rough sex to get you turned on) or Is he an actual asshole?

[chickenqueenl]

Oh no, he's great. He's just a drug dealer and he's been to jail so there's that

[Evealyn]

Well, as long as he’s not hurting you. Will the charges go away overtime? I can tell he probably wasn’t a real “bad boy” based on your tone. It sounded more like the guy was a sweetheart and understanding. He learnt his lesson by going to jail and he’s more mature because of it. I think some times the justice system is too harsh on non violent criminals. Especially drug dealer because they know who is selling drugs, but they just sit around and when they get enough money they take them to jail and cease their assets and use it to balance out the government budget. And then when a violent criminal is running around being crazy they come 2 hours late. It’s why people are losing respect for the police. And most the time they’re selling drugs to take care of their family. Sorry for the rant.

[chickenqueenl]

Yeah he's a great guy, he's just had it rough.

[Evealyn]

I hope you guys stay together. But if you can’t then I understand. Being in a relationship with a “felony” (I don't like to use that word for non-violent criminals) is really hard. We all do stupid things when we were teens, but it’s just the small few who get caught that suffer the most.

[chickenqueenl]

Thank you, I appreciate you

[Heartache0405]

I choose whether to have a relationship or not and after all of the BS experiences I've had I've opted to not choose at all. The relationships that rarely happen to me I tend to let fade

[abcdef-z]

When I like someone and there is this chemistry, it just happens. But staying in the relationship, it needs both sides to choose and commited to it

[najekim]

The most successful relationships happened by chance.

[RedStiletto88]

I think ultimately it always comes down to choices?

[LikeALog]

Most of mine were by chance. But I chose to continue continue the relationship.

[Anonymous]

It's a combination of both. I met my now-bf online, so I actively looked for it. But I did go on first dates with other guys before I met my boyfriend, so I still chose him if that makes sense.

[somesoul]

The guy, his family, they choose you and now as an introvert, you go to them 🤣

[APrettyLoner]

I'd choose them but idc I'm not interested in dating anymore, fuck it.

[Evealyn]

Awe, you're so young. You're just a baby. You'll find a guy that'll turn your ice-cold heart into a warm bliss of love again.

[exitseven]

It is both. You need the opportunity to have a relationship but it is up to you to act on it.

[Blackcupcake]

both I guess... it comes naturally but then it is my choice to keep it going or not🤷🏽‍♀️

[Anonymous]

They mostly happened to me and I don’t know why, but I just fell in love. They weren’t the best relationships… This time, I will try to choose them.

[red324]

Interesting question since I do online dating it's like these women seek put exactly what they want instead of just going with the flow.

[ebadkhan15]

They just happen... And I don't know why it happens 😑

[whosnumber1]

they just happen. I love the initial spark and connection

[I_Am_Sazerac]

Men aren't allowed to choose, we are chosen. It falls into our laps and the choice we have then is choose to go with it or don't.

[joshctlee]

For men they just happen because the choice is up to the female.

[Tabasco25]

I want people to choose to have time for relationships to happen. So kinda both

[InferiorElegy]

Neither, relationships definitely don't happen for guys like me and as guys we don't choose we get chosen.

[tastycannoli]

I think it's a little of both

[Shiningtempest]

@evealyn I choose them because letting a relationship happen to me is a recipe for failure.

[FreyaRed]

I choose, otherwise I had a lot more.

[20yearsolder]

I think most of the time they just happen

[jasco]

i choose them sense no one wants to ask me out

[Cubus]

I believe they happen. You cannot predict it.

[HooliganMcCooligan]

Usually just happens.

[Anonymous]

Sure doesn’t feel like I get to choose them.

[pink_and_inlove]

I choose them

[Babygirl_S]

I choose them.

[AlongCameCindy]

abit of both.