What are your thoughts on having a long distance relationship?

Question

I personally don’t think I’d be able to do it bc I need physical touch (not necessarily sexual) and would date someone around 4 hours away from me Max. How about you?

TruthBringer · Accepted Answer

As someone who has done LDR in the past, I have the following to say. Looking back, I’ve actually dealt with more sadness than joy. At that time, I was happy that I had someone who “cared” for me and who I could share my love and thoughts with. The mistake I made was caring more about her life than my own. The feeling of love was very new to me and I let myself get carried away. So I let myself go through bad treatment from both her and her family way too long (racism was one of them), all for the sake of keeping the LDR alive. Little did I know, it was already doomed to fail. The relationship was mostly one-sided anyway. So I ended it and cut all ties with her. The pain that followed lasted longer than the relationship itself... Of course, I did enjoy spending time and talking with her, but in the end, it was not worth the yearning, the pain, and all the mistreatment.

Nothing beats a real local relationship. I can’t think of something you can’t do in a local relationship that you can do in an LDR. But vice versa, I can give you a whole list. You simply spend more time yearning and wishing than actually enjoy the “relationship”. Generally speaking, an LDR is nothing more but a pseudo-relationship.

Fast forward three years after I broke up with my LDR girlfriend, I met a wonderful girl who lives 15 min away from me and we are almost 2 years together. I kid you not, I have made more happy memories 1 month into my local relationship than I did 1.5 years of my LDR.

One of the best decisions I’ve made was ending my LDR and I do not regret promising myself to never get into a long-distance relationship again. I’m much happier now.

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

I have, 10 hrs drive, met on gag just chatting, not dating. we were both established though financially and just required scheduling effort. it's work and have to make effort to make it work. can be costly, requires schedules to align and effort to communicate, can be hard at times when apart and can't be there to support. There are some benefits like learning to communicate different ways, it's fun to reconnect physically after being apart, likely spend more time talking and maybe working through issues. tradeoffs... someone has to make big changes or both.

it just happened, be open to it if it suits ones life, were together now and going well.

Also, her sister married a guy from another country, 10 hour flight away. they are moving in together soon.

So yea, it can work, if the two people want to make it work.

Ashlyxx · Accepted Answer

It depends but I’d say F that. I’ve done 2 long distance relationship the first one I was still in college and I loved having a relationship on the side, while I could still live the college party life. We FaceTimed all the time. but my second one was toxic af. Some people use the long distance as an excuse to string you along which my ex did. He also worked a ton but we lived two hours and he’d see me once a week, for 2 freaking years. Never spent the whole weekend with me. Never called. He would lie and say he was tired to see me but he was just talking to girls on the side. Never invited me over his place. It’s a great way to cheat, and not have to commit its perfect for guys who aren’t emotionally ready. I think if it’s temporary that’s ok like a month. but not for long term I need to be physical and enjoy life’s moments with my spouse.

Serenity_87 · Accepted Answer

Long distance would be very hard unless there was an exact end date to the distance. Like for example if you had a serious boyfriend who ended up having to serve a year in jail, If i knew the exact date of his release I could probably hold out for that and wait for him. But if there's a distance with no view of the ending to it and you don't know if the distance will ever change or not, I feel like that would be too difficult. Unless of course one of you has reliable transportation and you're able to visit each other on the weekends or something but if it's just all over the phone all the time, hell to the no on that one for me. I just can't imagine being in a relationship with zero intimacy or physical touch, sex, or connection ever.

Anonymous · Answer

It really depends. If you’re with someone who is worth being a long distance for then why not? I’m in a long distance relationship because of COVID. He had to fly back to his country and then borders shut down and we became long distance for 2 years. We’re still long distance now, but we plan on getting married soon and closing the distance.

My favorite part about long distance is how well we’ve become at communicating. When you don’t have the physical aspect of the relationship and only have the phone to keep you in touch then that aspect of your relationship becomes stronger. I also love that we both can still really focus on ourselves whilst being in a relationship. If I wanna work longer hours I can, if I wanna go on a girls trip I can, if I want need to stay up studying I can. Not saying that you can’t focus on yourself when together, but there is less guilt because that person is not waiting on you. I’m still very much my own person because he’s not with me so I still get to focus on me and don’t give up as much.

My least favorite part is the time difference, lack of physical affection, and going on dates as often as we’d like.

As long as you make effort to communicate, meet each other whenever you can, and have a plan on when to close the distance for good then it is doable. It is difficult, but I find that I cherish the relationship even more because of the distance and how well our communication skills are.

MrOracle · Answer

My thoughts are:  DON'T . It's not real, and it will only be a waste of your time and energy in the long run. ONLY DATE  LOCALLY . My rule is that I won't date someone who is more than 20 minutes away from me. Otherwise, you just won't be able to see them often enough to sustain a relationship in a healthy way. This is one of the (many) reasons why dating apps are completely worthless and should be completely avoided: while you CAN limit most of them to just your local area, that's not what anyone actually does, and that's how many people get into LDRs - which, as I said in the beginning, are really just a waste of everyone's time and energy, because you simply don't be able to get enough substance out of that relationship to make it worth having.

cheeky_starfish · Answer

I could do it for a time if it were temporary and there was the expectation of being together sometime soon 👍 but as a permanent situation I’m like you - I would need to feel loved and give love in a way that you just can’t do with a permanent long-distance arrangement. I think that would be too impractical long-term and both parties would be missing out on a committed, intimate and in-person loving relationship. Each to their own though 🤷🏻‍♂️ if some people can make it work then good for them! 🙂

ItsMeElliana · Answer

I am in one... and we're like 7k miles away
I know physical touch is important, and I want it. but rn we actually can't do anything to meet or something, so we're focusing on our studies and career and then in the future ia we plan on meeting and perhaps making moves, and for now we're just texting everyday, and calling everyday just bonding, he said we shouldn't fully commit because we dont know what the future might hold for us, and so ig.. but to me its like I dont think i could ever love someone more or as much as i love him. it just won't be the same or better for someone else, so id rather just be single the rest of my life if this relationship doesn't work out in the future

molonski2 · Answer

Bottom line is , it never really works , you never know for real , she/ he could be doing anything behind your back , often it is all false , its not real , it doesn't work.

I've done a number , touring back and forward , and of course now video calls etc , travelling can also lead to problems , as maybe you stay together 2 weeks , so they are prepared for two weeks , of course its a good two weeks , but then you leave , you glorify it rather than someone who is close by , you see their good and their bad.

Honestly , it doesn't work , unless you just want a holiday boy/ girl and treat it that way , otherwise often one sided.

Adonis7 · Answer

Long distance relationships are not for everyone. There for a certain type of people and not all long distance relationships to work out because either one or both of the people involved may not necessarily be trustable. We may not know what people are doing in close doors. But if both of them are faithful and both of them can have long distance relationships and both of them never lose heart, then yeah it can work out. Some people need physical touch. Eventually the people who with long distance relationships are going to want to get together again. If this never happens then eventually the relationship will be doomed to fail.

Anonymous · Answer

I had dated semi long distance. We lived about two hours ago, which isn’t that far but with busy work and school schedules, we couldn’t see eachother every week. However, we spent a lot of time together when we had the time.
I wouldn’t do it again. I couldn’t date someone 4 hours away. I feel like we wouldn’t have many memories together with distance and I find it difficult to really date someone when our only communication is over text and calls. My ex wasn’t the type to want to text or call a lot and he wasn’t good at open communication.
The furthest away I would date is probably 30 or 45 minutes away. That is decent driving distance and you could meet half way and see eachother pretty often.

sage2021 · Answer

I did it for a year. Then he asked me to move to his state. I did. I found out when we were in person together that he wasn't the man I thought he was. Then I moved back to my State. All of that for nothing! It turned out to be a horrible and expensive thing to do. I would not recommend it.

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

I would only consider it if we met when it wasn't long distance and it was only temporary. But even then he would have to be something special.

I'm not too fond of long-distance, I need to see the person, to talk with them properly, spend time together, touch each other, hold hands, kiss etc.

ohshee · Answer

I agree with you 100% I'm the same way except for I also need Everytime We Touch I think it would be very difficult though I use you for an example there is no way in this world that I would be able to look into your eyes everyday and not want to be with you there's no possible way

Heartache0405 · Answer

I’ve had two long distance relationships and actually met them in person. They both cheated on me. Long distance never works out unless the trust is absolutely everything. And you can lie about being trustworthy and loyal. I’ve experienced that constantly.

“You’re my forever, am I your forever?” - one of my ex long distance who cheated on me.

Never worth it. But hey, if you want to find that out for yourself, go for it. Experience is the best teacher after all

CasaNorba · Answer

I had a few growing up but I never took them serious. I mean obviously is not the same having someone you love being so damn far away from you. it could built some trust issues and since you two aren't always together to get to know each other 110% then it kinda distorts your perception on that person.

Anonymous · Answer

I personally think it can work if both are willing to see future with each other and are very loyal. It won't work for people who just do it casually for looks and all like it is nowadays. It needs to have a strong bond from heart just like Romeo and Juliet.

Anonymous · Answer

I would consider only if it was an already established relationship and one of us had to relocate for a finite period of time. For example, if my boyfriend had to move out of state for 6 months for work, but would be coming back. Or we had a plan that I would move out there with him. I wouldn't do a long-distance relationship with someone right off the bat, and I wouldn't stay in a long-term relationship that has no plan to ever live near each other again.

Mr1derful · Answer

I tried it before but it's too hard and near impossible and couldn't work. I'm like you, I need the closeness and physical side stuff as well (agreed doesn't have to be sexual), but want and need to see that person. It's just too much! by the way I love your nails!

Dnice1 · Answer

I'm in one, it's hard not being able to see each other in person everyday but we are just as close as any couple that does. We try to text and FaceTime everyday and try to meet up once a month. We're about hit 2 years in January. I think that even though they are hard in the end they are worth it.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I would do it, but only if it meant that the gap would close at some point. Eventually I'd want to live in the same house (I need touch too).

If I found someone on the other side of the country, and she actually loved me, I'd bring her over here, but I wouldn't do that if she were outside the country, because her being subject to deportation scares me too much to become emotionally attached.

If I got attached and then she got deported I'd be devastated...

Staximus · Answer

Sooner or later, one of the people in the long distance relationship is most likely going to find someone else who is willing or able to be there more often. It's a recipe for disaster that not many relationships can survive. If 2 people love each other enough, it can work, but very rarely for long.

PapaScott2020 · Answer

I had one in high school when my mom would drive me to see her ended up being my wife now 33 years later she lives over 900 mi from me I finally have the funds and staying at a hotel so we can reacquaint ourselves and our relationship coming back better than it was
She has her ideas that sound lie shades of grey fun

MJtheCoach · Answer

Is absolutely useless

I had an extremely attractive hot Sweden girl when she went back to Sweden we stop talking and I didn’t get a chance to sleep with her it was just a dating stage at the beginning but she’s extremely attractive 22-year-old very hot she hasn’t been with too many guys blonde hair but still long-distance doesn’t work there’s always other girls anyways

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

Tried it, didn't work out.

Too much time going back and forth, and this long distance relationship was only maybe 2 hours each way...90 minutes if traffic was good.

Was travelling daily after work, and it was just so exhausting.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

It it tough. I've tried it before. We got to a point where we didn't see each other for a month because of our schedules, and we decided it wouldn't work out in the long run.

HighValue · Answer

It would only work if it was temporary and there was a plan and timeline for when one of them would move to be with the other person. If it was going to stay long distance for an extended period of time it is pointless in my opinion.

Cleo12345 · Answer

I think I’d be up for giving it a go. I think it would work well in the “getting to know you” stage of the relationship but then things would get progressively more difficult.

menina · Answer

I was in a long distance relationship 4 years ago and I don't recommend it. It's too stressful, uncertain and sometimes it might seem fake. Being in a real life relationship is much better.

Violeteyes21 · Answer

I was in a long-distance situation for about a year. The thing is, eventually it feels like you start to run out of things to talk about. At least for me. Being in person is good because you can just be in each other space and not talk. But you can’t do that on the phone, it’s awkward. At least for me this is my experience

Flower7 · Answer

This is always a bad idea. There are too many unknowns about what goes on in the other person’s day-to-day life, and more importantly, WHO is part of their day-to-day life.

Smangrich1 · Answer

Ngl it's hard as hell. Humans are naturally social animals, not all but most. You need that physical interaction as well as seeing and hearing. But also it depends on your personality and will. If you can try and last for a while then maybe your relationship will last. You could be one the luckier ones.

Sarahr123 · Answer

I think it’s not for me and it seems pretty impossible. Some boys have told me they broke up with girls because they lived two hours away so umm I guess half an hour distance or less is good.

Dontaaaa · Answer

in my opinion, they just simply don't work. There's always one person in a ldr that becomes unhappy in the relationship due to distance. Feelings change, distance can always be a reason for it.

BlackTealLazer · Answer

I'm always open to it. It's nice to even know that someone loves you. But, sadly, not too many people feel the same way.

DizzyDesii · Answer

It won't be the first time and likely not the last. But i dont want to be long distance for more than a year. We need to be in the same place

exitseven · Answer

I did it for 3 years. I was miserable the whole time and we ended up breaking up anyway. I feel like it is 3 years of my life I will never get back.

melanieeeB · Answer

Never, like you I need the physical touch, like cuddling etc and I don't want my man to be all far away.  I even hate 1 hour distance

Anonymous · Answer

lol it’s been since 2019 I’m in a long distance relationship it’s going great but you have to move with then some days !
Some people are ok with it some not so you have to find the one who doesn’t mind ldr..

ManOnFire · Answer

Have done that already. Would not again. It's hard when you want them so much closer and you have to drive miles on weekends, or they do.

Diodoro · Answer

It's a short term strategy that requires a lot of communication and end date in mind for the distance

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Tried it. And succeeded the first time and severely failed the second time.  In short? I’ll never put myself through something like that again

Anonymous · Answer

I'm having a long distance relationship right now. It is working for us because our relationship had been fairly stable and solid before the long distance. We also have our own independent interests and pursuits, but we keep each other accompany via video or audio calls every day. Luckily, we are not very sexual, but prefer emotional and mental support. So that may make it work too.

CandaceSims201 · Answer

have no long distance relationship. My mum said I can only date men with learning disabilities in my town. Whether they are Usa or other courtesy. There will always be no. I can't drive.

Seangreen · Answer

complete waste of time energy effort and emotion because sooner or later one of the people involved meet somebody that's close by and they call it quits. It's just nonsense

katiesmuff · Answer

They take a lot of energy to make them work long term!

user1516 · Answer

I’m okay with it because my love language isn’t physical touch. I like the idea of it honestly. But then again everyone has their own preferences:)

JHNS98 · Answer

My best female friend has one. She and her boyfriend has been long-distance for for years. So yes, it can work. I just don't think it's for me.

Belmontandwilson · Answer

Mine haven’t worked, but only due to problems between myself and the partner which preexisted. If they’re worth waiting… But don’t do it unleSs you must, that’s my view.

Avicenna · Answer

It must be especially hard these days with international travel being so iffy

Miristheiss · Answer

Absolutely not.  Don't do it.  If they moved away I'd break up.

OfDeath · Answer

There really isn't anything positive about them. I wouldn't feel like I was actually in a relationship, thus wouldn't treat it as such.

Ironic_Method · Answer

It's tough and I thought I'd never do it due to my need for intimacy, but my now wife and I did it for 2 years. It was tough, but we made it work.

Guanfei · Answer

Bad idea. I've been through it 2 times, and it was a gigantic disaster. Outside of it, I haven't seen it work except once. That being said, if it happened again, I'm sure I would do it again.

lovedejj_xo · Answer

I like doing things together in person or being able to stay over one of our places sometimes …. so that wouldn’t work for me.

Cubus · Answer

My friend has been together with his girlfriend for 5 years, and they lived in different cities. She recently moved to his city to study.

TRUKIT808 · Answer

Ah this is an interesting question. It really depends on the people. It has to be the right people with the right mindset for it to work ya know. Im a trucker, i know a lot about this.

nm1058 · Answer

They are difficult but I think if both people are truly committed then it can work. I'm willing to bet one person is not willing to commit to that even if they think they are and it eventually ends.

Grond21 · Answer

I probably will be in one. But it's definitely not going to be easy oh, you're right about that

Cowboy6666 · Answer

I have done long distance twice in my lie, it couldnt work due to huge distance If there isn't possibility to meet partner it won't work

clampfan101 · Answer

Same here. I’d need to be with them. I’ve tried texting long distance, and it just doesn’t work.

bootea · Answer

It is too hard to keep it strong i prefer being at the same place

Wise4myage · Answer

I've never tried it, so not sure how I would feel about it. It seems like a waste of time though.

EaterPeter · Answer

No never may be just for very short amount of time 3 months max probably. 4 8 years should be auto divorce

What are your thoughts on having a long distance relationship?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

What are your thoughts on having a long distance relationship?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.