Why would a guy stop talking to me?

after he said he liked me? So there was this guy, we haven't talked for probably 2 weeks or so.we used to work together & it was awesome. He was this really cool, laid back guy & from when I started working he seemed to be making an effort to talk to me. Soo we hung out, talked on aim, then started talking on the phone EVERY NIGHT & during breaks & for anything. He would bring me home every night. Then we kissed & from there it was like we were dating, but without the title=/then the same day I got transferred to another store, things got weird. Soo long story short, he stands me up on a tuesday but calls that night to apologize & explain how he didn't want to get too close but he didn't like me & wanted to keep talking, but he basically stopped talking to me after that. Its so hard because I got so used to him, but I don't understand why he'd call to apologize, still say he likes me & then completely ignore me all together. I don't get it=/ I miss him, but now his ex keeps bothering me to stay away from him & supposedly he's saying stuff about me, which I don't believe because he wasn't a horrible person, but dam. I'm just so confused. Why would he?


Most Helpful Guy

  • There's three emotions that make people do extremely unpredictable things- anger, fear, and love. And sounds like he' been through all three of them.

    First off, he likes you. He would not have made effort to talk with you so much, or after he apologized when he "stood you up".

    But he's also afraid of something. I can't tell you what about (can speculate, but it won't do any good). And if you asked him even he probably can't tell you what he's afraid of . This is evident by intentionally standing you up. He let his fear rule him, and rather than facing that fear he chose to try to destroy what was causing it. He did something I like to call self sabotage.

    And the third thing is anger. And no, it's not anger with you; it's anger with himself. He knows in some way that his fear caused him to do an extremely stupid thing (like ruin his chances with a beautiful and intelligent girl like you). And it's painful for him to admit that he's angry at himself, so he'd much rather let his fear take over and ignore what he wants (you) than face that percieved pain. He'd much rather go and play it safe, (which unfortunately in his case might involve getting back with his ex).

    How do I know this? Been there, done that. Did it 6 years ago with a girl I liked and drove her away, and visited her this past weekend and did it yet again (although not as bad, didn't driver her away though, thank God!).

    It's not something that any guy wants to put his girl through. But unfortunately it's a fact of life.

    Best of luck to you! If you have any questions, feel free to PM or post back. :-)


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What Girls Said 1

  • I think he told you straight up when he called to apologize which is pretty noble of him.

    I'm not sure why he did this.but you're lucky to at least have the above information.some people get less! :-)

    I know it's hard but for your sake, you can try to move on for now and maybe in time, his head will clear and his ex will leave you alone. How is she bothering you? That's scary!

    What did you say to him? Does he know you have feelings for him too? If not, maybe you can tell him so that if you do decide to "back off", he'll know it's not because you're not interested.

    Maybe he still has feelings for his crazy ex.

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