Escort services: a resource in a marriage?

[Anonymous]

I told my husband that I enjoy sex with him. Whether that be the passion, love and pure romance, or a more kinky side. However, I cannot keep up with the frequency he wants. I suggested he refers to an escort... She can help with frequency and she's more open minded to doing things I feel really uncomfortable with. He found someone and left. He turned around half way there en just said "I couldn't do it..." I saw raw emotion in his eyes and we left the whole concept right then and there. I'm trying my best to keep up with frequency. For both of us the sex is 'high quality', but for him it's the quantity that's lacking. I'm trying from my side. It's a slow process - psychologically. Was I dumb in suggesting this idea? He came back because he said he didn't want it and he wants only me. My husband is truthful by nature. He's still a young warm blooded male tho... What is your opinion about the situation? Would love to hear from all genders/sexes.

[Dchrls78104]

Escort services: a stupid idea that will ultimately do more harm than good to both of you and to your marriage. The better idea would be for the two of you to talk things over, frankly and honestly, and to meet each other half way in a sexual sense. The Bible says that the husband and the wife must cater to each other sexually (1 Corinthians 7:4,5) and be unselfish (Philippians 2:4); which means, for example, that he should work hard to consider your libido and interests and not just his own.
Hope this helps

[Asker]

Yes. It does help. Thank you so much.

[Anonymous]

I don't see using escorts as a resource in a marriage. I think it would be better to find other alternatives within the marriage than seeking someone outside of the marriage. Plus, there are health concerns and issues with the law.

Just curious though, are escorts legal in the country where you live?

[Asker]

No. They hide their 'services'. So, they come across as a type of Hooters, but there's a lot happening in the background. Cops couldn't give a damn. Constitution wise. No. Not legal.

[Nazgol]

@asker Are u in ON, Canada? I swear I'm not asking for illegal reasons. It just really sounds like some people I know

[Nazgol]

With the exact same situation

[hi_it_is_me123]

Wtf. Have you no respect for yourself. You are a cuck. If any man want weird sexual preference, tell them that they should fulfill your strap-on dildo fantasy. Whenever, a man wants anal/deep throat, blood play or other mental illness bs, i tell them to fuck themself with strap-on dildo befor wanting something like this etc. Some men dont understand the health issues of anal sex, deep throat etc. These men are selfish narcists to me

[cookiecrusher]

I get it, you are young and emotional. All these points can be solved with good communications with partners, to serve both needs and wants.

[hi_it_is_me123]

Lol. I am just not a cuck

[hi_it_is_me123]

If being not a cuck makes me emotional, then i am emotional mrs cuck

[hi_it_is_me123]

Funny how manhoes suddenly tell you how great you are. If the genders were reversed, these fucktards would call you a h*e and your husband a cuck.

[cookiecrusher]

I wasn't talking about the being cucked or etc.

Was about the rest.

It's all about communicating with your partner and both working out a deal that suits both sides/genders.

[hi_it_is_me123]

Oh ok. I agree with you at this point

[Daniela1982]

Whenever you let someone come between you in the marriage bed you run the risk of losing it all. It's like inviting the Big Bad Wolf into the chicken coop. Maybe counseling would help. You never know until you try.

[Anonymous]

It's not just the sex he wants, but wants it WITH YOU! There's no romance or intimacy with an escort. It's really "cold". To them it's a business and the guys are treated very much that way. Which can leave the sex with some guys feeling "empty". Like I say, he doesn't just want the sex, but with you. It's not a "dumb" suggestion, but like he says, he just can't go through with it. To him it probably feels like cheating, even if he has your approval. Feelings - you can't control them. Not to mentions STI's etc, which is probably on his mind also. Even though if a high end escort, they get tested regularly and often. But it's not "black and white" like that.

[Opinion Owner]

In my opinion this is also a learning about your partner thing that you should've addressed before ever getting married. A "mistake" a lot of couples make. I think women especially don't view sexual compatibility as "important" when they think about marriage, but as you can see, it's extremely important.

[Asker]

It is very important. Thank you for enlightening me. Really

[humpbackjack]

I say step it up cause it’s not fair to him to have to go without and of course I’m not saying if you’re sick or something but think about what your reasoning for not wanting sex cause if it’s just because you don’t want to mess with it you might regret that one day and for all the women that are wanting to jump all over me right now because I’m being selfish stop and think if it’s the other way around you ladies would be saying for her to go get it somewhere else if he can’t keep up. Regardless which side your faced with you need to know sex is an extremely important part of a marriage and I one has to go years with being shut down it’s going to make resentments and will ruin your marriage if I could do it over again I wouldn’t of put up with it and if it wasn’t for my kids I wouldn’t get married at all

[anniisa97]

What are you actually talking about?

[Anonymous]

Escort services are in no way a resource in a marriage. I've spent 6 years as an escort and trust me, there is nothing therapeutic or beneficial to sending a husband to one.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for your reply.

[cookiecrusher]

Thus it's important to discuss sexual habits/wants before dating.

It's only the beginning.
A fmf threesome with a good friend would work well if it's something you would like too. Dual wife households are also getting more common here, a lot more financially stable and such too.

[adidas0169]

I will gove you credit where its due. at least your trying my wife will not and doesn't not try. its always one sided. should you be blamed for suggesting the idea no bc your trying to make your husband happy. if the tables were turned around i would hope he would do the same.

[Asker]

Thank you. I felt that...

[bamesjond0069]

Escort is a terrible idea. Why don't you just have sex more? Not really wanting to is a terrible excuse. I mean I don't really want to spend money on my girlfriend or take her on dates sometimes but I love her and know it is good for our relationship. Sorry but you are very selfish to not just fuck him more. Maybe you should be single and just have a friendship?

[Asker]

I was sexually assaulted by n family friend... I'm in therapy atm... But it's a slow process. I get flash backs or I have panic attacks during sex. So not to hurt him... I don't always say yes... I know he doesn't understand... Who does? If you haven't been sexually assaulted yourself...

[bamesjond0069]

But thats fine but it sounds you're not ready or capable of a relationship. Why aren't you single?

[bean2k21]

Well it depends on where you live
In some cities the escorts are on par
with sticking your cock in a toilet

[2021biguy]

Luckily for you he loves you and didn't go with another woman. But you are a special lady trying to make your man happy. Maybe you will start to like sex more. Try eating herbal supplements to help.

[Mangospacho]

Good thing he stopped before having the escort. That would’ve been the beginning of the end of your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Is this a new version of cuckold? Maybe we can say pussyold? How can you not be jealous of the man you love? I can not even dream of sharing the man i love.

[slatyb]

What frequency does he want? Sex doesn't take very long.

[Asker]

Hehe as in... How many times a day / week / month

[slatyb]

Yeah, is he demanding weekly, twice a week, daily, twice daily, more?

[Asker]

I think... This is my feeling... He didn't say it... I feel that he will take twice a day

[slatyb]

It's hard to imagine that you can afford an escort that frequently. Why is this a problem for you? It can be done in five minutes, maybe less.

[Asker]

Emotionally I'm not always available and that makes me feel guilty when I am intimate... It feels like I'm not truthful and I'm doing it just to get it over with.

[slatyb]

Why the guilt? I think your expectations of yourself and sex are a bit unrealistic. It’s just sex. My wife is happy to do it about anytime because it makes her feel closer to me.

Frequently refusing will leave your husband feeling frustrated and unloved.

[Asker]

Thank you xxx

[Subarugirl]

Have you seen a sex therapist? I would recommend that before sending off into the arms of another woman, that seems like that is more brushing the issue under the rug than addressing it head on.

[andy530]

It might be a good idea to open your marriage in a way that would allow him to find a single partner that is into the same kinks as he is and can fulfill his need for frequency who you both can be very transparent about.

[Neosporin]

Maybe you need some viagra? Or he needs some anti-viagra

[Asker]

Anti-viagra! That's funny

[Freespirit777]

Many men have a higher sex drive than women. Instead of cheating many of us masturbate to relieve the tension. Suggesting he get it somewhere else is a recipe for heartbreak and possible STD.

[JohnK123]

Surprised u r thinking this usually women on here are like how dare he want more or how dare he want one

[Skyliner33ss]

No they like men who sleep around and doesn't commit

[Asker]

I was sincerely thinking about it... Because I saw how my hesitation towards intimacy is effecting him. I just want him to be happy. I'm scared... I feel weird about it... But... I really just care... I don't want to be one of THOSE dried up wives.

[JohnK123]

Lmaooooo true pm if u want I don't know kinda curious why u do wanna allow him… no offense to u at all

[Asker]

My 'level' doesn't allow me to send msgs?

[JohnK123]

What level?

[Skyliner33ss]

Generally if we love 1 women doesn't hurt to touch another women she will still the one but with time that might change. Anyway as long as both of you are happy then that's fine. I believe he's faithful as he refused and have morals. Take a look on your diet and do exercises that will help your situation and will improve your health too

[Anonymous]

So you don't wanna do PIV sex as much as he does. In between, can you keep up with doing BJ's, hand jobs, 69, anal?

[Anonymous]

Wouldn’t have worked anyway because of how much he wants it, he would be spending so much money and there is no love there. At least he came to his senses and didn’t do it. Maybe you just need something that boosts your libido

[Anonymous]

you got a mouth, you got hands, you got tits use them to jerk him off if you can't make yourself wet every time he's in the mood

[emperor90]

He wants to be loyal to u and u alone which is a good thing

[Asker]

Definitely. I feel so so so honoured and respected. I basically gave him the green light and he came back to me.

I still feel bad for him... That I'm struggling to give him what he wants.

[jimmy2]

You two can be ok just love each other life hard enough

[jasco]

honestly yea I do think it was dumb but if that's what you want

[LegendaryIcon]

Or he could just masturbate. Why in the world, would you spend money, on sex

[TheFlak38]

you must be a special wife if you make such suggestions

[jahaims]

Every other day is reasonable on your part. He needs to workout and masturbate more.

[boxxie2002]

I think if you set rules around it and both are fine with it, then it could be a great resource

[spartan55]

Horrible idea.

[FreyaRed]

I would dump this loser.

[Anonymous]

Dude still has hands right?

[Asker]

I laughed so hard right now!

[Anonymous]

Well we can marry 4 that's the good thing

[EaterPeter]

I don't think so.