Should I make things better or break up?

[Anonymous]

Im in a LDR. We visit each other often and we are 3 Years together. Last week he was ill and we didn't talk as much so i wasn't saying about what was I doing and so on. One guy came to me in a bar and I talked to my boyfriend about it another day and he was mad bc i didn't said it when it happened. In the last few day is he barely talking to me, I was nagging about iz but nothing. He said „you could have talk about everything and everything would be okay now“. He said I should stop nagging about it and do whatever I want. I don‘t know if I can fix it and how

[kyleelyn199723]

Maybe you shouldn’t have told him this at all. Yes it’s great being open with your boyfriend, but I think some things are better left unsaid. Now he feels the need to think there was more to the story because you waited so long to tell him. My advice? Just don’t tell him at all. There’s no reason to tell your partner when another person is flirting because it just makes up for competition and creates insecurities. He will get over it, but just reassure him that he is the only guy you want and seriously talk him up like he is the best guy possible

[Asker]

I didn't want someone else to tell him. Im afraid its gonna stay like this or we are gonna break up. I don‘t knpw if I should give him space or what…

[kyleelyn199723]

@asker and what if someone else didn’t tell him at all? I think you should give him some space but at the same time, write him out a nice paragraph explaining how much he means to you as a boyfriend. Men do not want to feel like they have competition and I learned this reality when I started dating my boyfriend

[Asker]

I think the bigger issue is that i didn't tell him where i‘ve been. I told him how im feeling about him not talking to me and if he is going to fix it and he said HE has nothing to fix. I dont see how i can fix it if he is cold to me

[kyleelyn199723]

I’ve been through this with my boyfriend. He will get over it. You may not fix him having possible insecurities of himself, but you can fix things by be a loving girlfriend and reassuring that he is the only guy you care about. But essentially he does have nothing to fix. Yes he may be being mean, BUT you created a scenario of possible jealousy and competition. If you want to continue dating him, you should probably consider going places that are more oriented to where men don’t constantly walk up to you, maybe consider going places that aren’t close to your town where people feel the need to tell your business.

[kyleelyn199723]

But if going to bars close to town Is more of a priority to you, I would considering not dating him anymore as people are bound to tell your business.

[Asker]

Im gonna give him a lot of space by not talking today and then im gonna apologizefor my mistake

[kyleelyn199723]

Or maybe just talk to him later. Don’t go an entire day without talking to him. It may not seem like he cares, but he 100% does care, trust me I’ve been through this.

[Asker]

He also said „it is what is is and im acting how i am and if it bothers you then do what you want“. Im really scared its impossible to fix

[kyleelyn199723]

That’s exactly what my boyfriend said and here we are an ever happier couple than what we were. If you date this guy like I said, it may involve you having to change your life around a little bit. He’s not into women that go to bars on the weekends. Yes you have a right to have fun, but he may just be the guy that wants his lady snuggled up with him when he’s sick. You have a right to go out and about, but also going out at a bar in your town is probably not the best idea

[Asker]

When i said im gonna break up if he doesn't fix it, it didn't seem like he cares

[kyleelyn199723]

He may be better off if you prefer going to bars over adjusting to what makes him feel uncomfortable etc. if this were the other way around, would you feel secure? He needs to find a lady that matches him because unfortunately from where this is going you two are incompatible. If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t be upset girl

[Asker]

I asked if i have a chance to correct this, he said „I dont know“…

[kyleelyn199723]

He’s still mad about it, just don’t ask and keep proving yourself

[Asker]

I wrote him a long paragraph where i apologized and told him how much he means to me. I hope it‘ll turn out good

[kyleelyn199723]

He will budge eventually don’t worry.

[Asker]

I think he broke up with me. Thank you for your time and advice😊

[kyleelyn199723]

@asker sorry to hear that. Hopefully you find a guy that is a bit more understanding and patient with you.

[Asker]

I dont know if he broke up yet. At the end of my paragaph i wrote:“i hope you can give me a chance and we can continue normal“ and he answered „sorry but no“. I asked then if it means he is breaking up with me and he hasn't seen it yet. Even if he was already online. I dobt know if he thinks about it or he made up his mind..

[kyleelyn199723]

He’s just being stubborn. What I really think you should do is give him a few days to answer without you saying anything.

[Asker]

I hope so. He didn't answer yet and i hope he will not break up

[JoyGirl]

You still could have told him.
Did anything happen between you and the guy at the bar?

[kyleelyn199723]

Eh something’s are better left unsaid. If something did happen between you and that guy, you think she would’ve ever brought it up that he flirted? No

[Asker]

No, this guy wanted a relationship from me last year and he came to say hi

[JoyGirl]

@kyleelyn199723 I asked the asker, not you. Thank you. :)

@ asker Ok, as long as nothing happened, you are fine. You did nothing wrong. Give your boyfriend sometime to cool off and let him know you are all his. 💜

[Asker]

Nothing happened between us

[Asker]

Thank you 😊

[kyleelyn199723]

@joygirl this is an app that is meant for everyone’s insight , and I am free to give my opinion toward your opinion. Thank you ☺️

[JoyGirl]

@ asker No problem, hun. 💜

[Asker]

I wrote him a long mesaage where i apologized and askred to give me a chance to make it better and he said „sorry but no“. I adked if he is breaking up and now im waitin for answer 2 days…he didn't break our deals like not having instagram etc. Do you think he broke up?

[JoyGirl]

It is honestly not looking good.
I think he is overreacting a bit, since nothing happened.
My boyfriend asked what was your purpose at the bar. Maybe your boyfriend is thinking the same. 🤔

[Asker]

I just went out with a female friend bc they play good music and that is all.

[Asker]

Should i text him one more time or wait?

[JoyGirl]

I know 3 years is quite a bit, hun, but you should probably let him go at this point. You tried to apologize.
He is just overreacting. ;-;

[Asker]

Do you think he will answer or is he done?

[JoyGirl]

Maybe he will answer sooner or later. If you want to wait you can, but don’t beat yourself up for what happened. 💜

[Asker]

I texted him that it would be nice from him to tell me if he needs space or is breaking up and that im there for him when he is ready to talk and he said „okey“

[JoyGirl]

I hope it works out.
Good luck, hun! 💜

[Asker]

Thank you💜 do sou think it leans he needs space? I mean, does it look like that?

[JoyGirl]

Yea, perhaps.
Tbh, if he is taking too much time, you know what to do. :)

[Asker]

How much time is okay to give?

[JoyGirl]

A week max.