House wife/husband?

[Anonymous]

How common are house wife's/husband's?

So I still work, I do 30h+ a week and on top of that I cook, clean and do the washing + basically all the house work.

My boyfriend also works and does 40h a week and does any manual labor if/when it needs doing in the house (for example, building our wardrobe) and I help with that if I can.

I was just wondering how common people think this is? I've been told I "do too much" but I enjoy keeping up the house and serving my boyfriend.

Common

Uncommon

[Buntyp]

If you're happy with that now, are you sure that you'll still be happy with it ten years, twenty years from now, because if you're not, you need to start training that lazy bastard to do his share, right goddam now! Otherwise, he'll be walking all over you, telling you how to live your life, if he isn't doing that already, for the rest of it. Is that what you really want?

Doing ones share is the only way that human life on this planet has even a small chance of making it through the next hundred years. Just maintaining that much awareness of our common responsibility for what happens here is essential, so kick his lazy ass into gear or kick him out.

[Asker]

He's not Lazy, nor is he walking all over me 😊 If I asked him to help he'd help straight away, I just don't want him too, I'm more than happy doing this and it was me that told him I want to do it.

If in 10/20 years, I ask him for help, he would help because he appreciates everything I do and shows that in other ways. He doesn't tell me how to live my life at all, he supports me in everything I do or want to do and isn't in the slightest bit controlling - Actually the opposite, he basically worships the ground I stand on - This is simply something I enjoy doing, I find house work relaxing and I much prefer just being able to get on with it, plus a clean happy home makes me more than proud 😊

[Buntyp]

Good luck with all that, hun.

[kyleelyn199723]

I think In this day and age it’s pretty uncommon and only works for people that have decided that there’s one bread winner in the relationship. Living in this day and age is pretty expensive and you really need two incomes especially if you plan on having children

[Asker]

Living is expensive and we do plan on having kids. He brings in slightly more than me due to having a set 40h whereas mine fluctuates between 30h-40h - We're both happy with how we live though!😊

[kyleelyn199723]

Nothing wrong with two incomes as long as house responsibilities is evenly distributed. Me and my man are both bread winners right now and we both split house responsibilities and we are both very happy

[Asker]

I enjoy doing most of it, he does the odd thing like in my post, building the wardrobe etc but I do everything else either before or after work. Everyone is different though! And that's okay 😊

[kyleelyn199723]

Of course, just make sure that’s what you want for the rest of your life because not setting boundaries from the beginning and not letting him help out will give you the exact result of him never helping out or being in your role. You are right though, everyone is different

[Asker]

He's very respectful, if I ever did need help, he'd help me 😊 I just actually enjoy doing it and prefer being able to listen to music and just get on with it 😂

[kyleelyn199723]

Good! And I don’t blame you 😭 I always get the cleaning done in my house and I don’t want it done any other way by any other person in the house. Everyone better get out of the way when I’m cleaning 😭

[Phoenix-gb]

I think it's more uncommon as it seems like both parties these days fight for who is most successful. Personally I'd be fine taking a lesser bread winning role to look after the house/kids if my partner were earning more and it made financial sense for one of us to be homemaker.

[Shy80sgirl]

My husband is self-employed and creates his own schedule, and he does the majority of the cooking and cleaning and running the kids around. He certainly can be grumpy some days, and he makes good money when he does work which keeps him somewhat satisfied as far as contributing to the household income. I am doing my best to try and be more available for him and the kids, but have my faults/failures