Do you ever stop and think.. maybe I’m just not meant to be happy or have love?

[caring__1]

A fatalistic approach will never take you anywhere. Learn from your past. Look at your choice in words and actions and what the results were. Discover alternatives that are more likely to give you the results you'd prefer.

It's easy to blame others (or even blame ourselves), yet blame never resolves the problem. You can focus on what your ex did or didn't do, but you'll accomplish more by focusing on what you did or didn't do. Get some help. A lot of times we don't see what we are doing... we just maintain familiar patterns absentmindedly.

Did your choices lead him to feel unappreciated, due to your focusing on what he should or shouldn't do rather than educating him about what tends to work for you? Did he feel safe to be open and honest with you, or did he anticipate another criticism? Were you focusing on his potential rather than savoring the person he has always been? Did you expect him to change, or did you choose someone who was already the man you could value?

Don't throw in the towel. Become the best person you can be and keep your eyes open.

[lightbulb27]

yes I've thought that in the past, took a long long long time to find a good relationship... and wasn't without pain to get there. Its similar to falling down on a knee and not wanting to get back up because it's too hard.

It's total BS your mind making up to avoid taking responsibility and make the adjustments required. The sub conscious is a gorilla that doesn't want to change or face reality, it rather stay the way it is.

Possibly avoidance personality traits. Either way, it's a recipe to stagnate and guarantee failure.

[FreyaRed]

Statistically there are more women because we live longer and there is a shift in all age group statistics.
Love happens one time in life, if it was the wrong one everyone after is just a compromise.

[KatherineJ]

Yeah, I did. Before love found me. Happiness has to come from within though.

[Kaamraj]

As a man I have lived enough to learn that I will always be "loved" conditionally. Meaning, I will be loved as long as I can do something for someone. So it's better to detach my happiness from love anyone feels for me, basically to love oneself, one's time, ones hobbies and purpose in life more than what love from a woman can bring. I believe it's not possible for a woman to understand what a man feels like most of the time. Much like being a ghost in the middle of a party where all the women are having a good time with few men, and you are unable to speak, be heard, ignored, invisible.

Now you can excel in your field of choice and gain visibility but again you will be sought after for what you can do for them, not for what you are, or as men in growing numbers are doing, unplugging form the game and focusing on themselves.

[humpbackjack]

No but sometimes I think since I already found it and had it for close to twenty years that it’s not meant to happen twice plus I don’t know that I want it again it’s too big of a hit when it’s taken away we had a relationship that all our friends wanted some even came over and asked my wife to school their girlfriends on how to act but what nobody understood is that our relationship was only between us she was the way she was with me because of how I was with her and because of the love we had and our insane passion and lust for each other we were best friends and more than any of them could understand and once you lose that there’s a feeling of no reason to hope for it again also you don’t want to risk the pain but know this that kind of love takes a lot of work and two people that were supposed to be together you won’t just fall into it everyday and if you ever do always put in the work which is easy because it’s real not forced

[JHNS98]

The truth in this society, especially America, is that you're not meant to be happy. You're meant to be a worker first and build your life around that, if you can. Less so in Europe, Scandinavia, Sweden

But more to your point, yes. There are more women than men, but many women don't know what they're doing in dating. Women might have high standards, but they also can be manipulative and play games during the dating phase as well as into and even through the relationship. Combine that with most men having relatively low standards and you have the current dating scene.

There is also the disconnect of those girls who are feminists but still want the 1950s kind of relationship and their idea of a "good man".

[OpenClose]

YES. Too often. I either feel like I'm a member of the "undesirable gender", or I feel like I missed my chance at love in my 20's, or that I've been single too long for me to handle a relationship very well.

It's a sucky feeling and sometimes a panicky one.

[JDAC2209199]

Yeah but then I remember I'm 22 and there's literally more people out there than I can count so I'll just see if it happens, if not in the meantime I'll just work on enjoying myself by trying new things and achieving things I can only pursue whilst single based on time available only when you're out of a relationship and then just like that, the thought is gone but that's just me.

[ohshee]

No because that would be a negative and I'm not into that.

I know everything we'll be okay and we'll work out just right and just have to be patient.
You adjust you spend your time doing things that you wouldn't normally do or building yourself bigger and better use that down time to improve something and be patient be happy you loving be caring be free it will all work out but if you fight yourself it takes ten times longer

[Slartybartfast]

There are actually more men Born each year, there are more young men then young women. Until they are killed off by war, suicide and work injuries.

It's only in latter years that so many men have died that women are in the majority. But that's long past the time people get married so as far as dating and marriage age people there are slightly more men. .

[TwistedSukuna]

Yeah, a lot actually. Not necessarily that I'm not meant to be happy, but to find love. I'm not very confident or good looking, but I'm chill with being alone and just hanging out with friends, at least for now. I do want to find someone but that probably won't happen for a while tbh.

[FunkyMonkee]

You? Why? Look at how pretty you are!!
As for the question: YEAH!! I've been alone most of my life!! I was almost 25 before the first time I had sex and it's been just over 26 years since the last time! Looks to me like I'm destined to be a hermit for the rest of my days!

[FatherJack]

Wrong way round , there are considerably more men in the world , esp from the Middle East through to China. Also , far more women are happy single & man free by choice , than vice versa , however the number of single by choice men is growing , I am one of them. There are several times more available men than women as a result. I personally prefer as much peace & solitude as possible , hard sometimes with a teen daughter thundering around.

[Likes2drive]

I always thought those odds would be in my favor , having more women than men but it’s really not true for younger because there are more younger men than women until a certain age. Check out how many men are on dating sites or on here, most messages come from men

[2legit2lye]

Yes 100%. I think the opposite tho. Whenever i go say to a bar its always dudes there and the females are either taken or crackheads. I feel its harder to find a woman then a guy to date. I sometimes think it would be easier to be a woman

[Anonymous]

Indeed. There are more women than men in my region.
And yet I couldn't find a girlfriend. Or even a first date.
I have accepted my fate as it is. Love isn't on the menu for me, so I go and do something else instead.

*Not ugly, fat or unattractive!

[lycanthrope3]

happiness is a choice, no matter what happens in your life. i am not saying be happy when someone you care about passes away. give happiness to the world and be happy, a way of life, happiness is not doing as you like, but liking what you do. will this bring you true love, probably not. i usually find things when i quit looking

[Samoht_Sirrom1]

Duplicate post... But honestly I think everyone thinks it from time to time (me however I know it to be true) 30 plus years (since my last relationship) and that was when I was 10 years old.

[exitseven]

I used to think like that. I had a lot of good things in my life and I thought that having a girlfriend was just something I would have to learn to live without.

[Heartache0405]

Yes. And I’ve completely accepted it and bath in it and am at peace with it completely. If only others can learn how to be as well

[Alyssa_11]

Every single day lol. My mum says it's cause of my 'choice' in men... but I don't know. I get let down by a guy every time.

[MrCommodore]

Yes, It can seem that way, but most people find love eventually

[Paul09]

We are all meant to he happy. But apparently we don't all get lucky and find love. I never found that love, I'm not sure I ever will. Fml. I can just fantasize about.