How long do you suffer from heartbreak? Does it get easier to deal with after the first one?

Question

DermalPunch · Accepted Answer

I can't say for sure but I pulled these words from a friend's FB.
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“As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory, maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief... it might be a street intersection or the smell of a cup of coffee, it can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.

The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.”

How long do you suffer from heartbreak? Does it get easier to deal with after the first one?

Puppystarfish23 · Accepted Answer

It took me long , I still think about it now not bitterly anymore just wanna know why he did what he did and I've never been 100% about how he felt about me. I'm not sure if he loved me more then I thought at the time and still does and that's why he pushed me away so brutally. I don't love him anymore I just wish I could have the years back I wasted on him. I used to cry myself to bed every night and look for validation in any kind of guy who slightly reminded me of him. I was in a very dark place for a very long time until I made a amazing friend who pushed me back out there and helped me regain my confidence and self worth.

Thanks to that amazing friend I've now been in a happy healthy relationship for almost 3 years and we live together and are soon planning on buying a house together and making a life together.

Without heart break we can't appreciate the good people in are lifes who will always be there for you no matter what. If it wasn't for that fuck boy breaking my heart I wouldn't be lying in bed next to the man of my dreams right now.

Prg11 · Accepted Answer

This is going to be super difficult to grasp, but here it goes:

In my case, there never was any heartbreak, or heartache, except the purposefully engineered one, by my transgender adopters/kidnappers.

They carefully crafted despair towards girls so as to be able to control me, as a child, so that they could get me to work abroad and then bring them the money - and then they'd, in theory, finally let me have a girl (so goes their conditioning of me - I distrust that Serbian scum they are, entirely).

Along the way I figured out you never really get into 'despair' needed for heartbrake without _someone_ messing your relationship (s) up on purpose. I simply don't idealise girls now, and thus, there is nothing to be heartbroken about - if one of them is a cheat/crook, usually, life and 'god' (or the 'village of other people she cheated on') will come together to wreck her (some of those simply go missing/vanish after a while - I only ever took it to mean their n-th cheat was someone ready to deal with them physically - but never asked about how any of them vanished (maybe they just moved elsewhere - in any case, everyone was happy they were gone)

GlassTop · Accepted Answer

The hardest part lasts 2-3 months. You’ll continue to think about them often for 6 months to more than a year. The more history and length of relationship, the longer it is. It gets a lot worse if you had kids, they cheated, or did something terrible.

honeynut-scenarios · Answer

I met my first boyfriend when I was 15. We dated for a month total, he told me he loved me and all these other sweet nothings, then he ghosted me. I cried everyday for 9 months straight. Even the mention of his name would bring me to tears. I didn’t have closure, and I didn’t understand what I did wrong. I later found out that I was just a ‘notch on the belt.’ 8 years later, I’d like to say that I’m pretty decent at getting over a relationship. Say everything you need to say, or write it down. Allow yourself to morn the situation for however long you need, but eventually cut yourself from that, and redirect your energy back to yourself. No love is greater than the love you have for your own soul.

Kkstarzz96 · Answer

If you're with that person for x amount of time, and you swore you loved them even if you didn't tell them or you weren't sure but you knew you'd fall apart if they said we're through, double that time and that's how long it will take to get over them. Not even the time you guys were dating, like from the time you realized you're invested in this person and their name will never not make your head spin at just the sound. If you didn't love them, you will get over them fairly quickly, with some memories here and there but nothing worth dwelling over for more than a day once in a while.

TheorionMage · Answer

Until circumstance (rebound romances) or time alone allows your subconscious to focus your awareness forward rather than to reflect on past romanticized 'good times'.

Does it get easier?
Ask any Addict if going through 'cold turkey' does withdrawal EVER get 'easier'...
you KNOW the symptoms.
But the same feelings that made you feel the 'high's are the same, that in their absence, drag you thu the emotional withdrawal 'lows'.

Dopamine, Oxytocin and Serotonin are the internal addictive psychological neuropharmacology to which we ALL are susceptible.

Explorer91 · Answer

Well from what I noticed within myself and others is that the length of time you grieve/ in pain/ heartbroken, etc in life actually has more to do with other things in your life than how much you actually cared.
For example, let’s say a person had barely any family, friends or loved ones in the world. Let’s say they only had one sibling and no parents or other family. And no close friends. If that person lost their sibling the heartbreak and grief would be significantly long and traumatic as they literally have no one else.
compared to someone for example who has many close family members and friends. As much as the loss of a sibling would still be painful. The length of grief would generally be much shorter, as their life is still filled with lots of love and close connections.
so heartbreak and pain can often depend on what other things are going on in a persons life.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Depends on how fast i fell, how long we dated, if we said i love you, and if we had sex. I struggled with letting the first go. He kept coming back and i kept takin him back. It was a on/off bad habit for 5 years. For every after him, it took anywhere from a week to a month to get past. There was one guy and we told eachother we loved eachother. After things ended because he hadn't been honest, i was able to get over him same week. But feelings came back temporarily some months later. Those feelings didn't last more than a week though. With one person that i dated for the longest, the relationship had started to struggle the last couple months so by time we ended things, i was ready to move on same week. Yet we had an odd pact to get back together that upcoming summer (6 months later) but honestly, by time i met someone else (a month later) that was only an after thought

ManOnFire · Answer

When it happens you feel like it's impossible to move on from that place. You don't want anyone else but the one who broke your heart. You literally do think it can't get better, but it does with time.

Does it get easier to deal with after the first one? Not necessarily. My last heart break was actually the worst of any. I felt like I would never be able to move on, but I did. It really depends on the relationship, the person, and how well you clicked with them.

When you're going through this it's really important to not hesitate to talk about it with people close to you, it really helps. Heartbreak is generally something you want some support with.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

You don't really ever get over them, you get past them though. I still love my first love, who passed away but that doesn't mean it hurts as bad as it was back then.

I've move on, and past but not forgotten him.

In a way you are grieving the loss of the relationship, similar to having someone die.

Anonymous · Answer

My first heartbreak was tough, I was very sad and dissappointed since I thought I had finally found a guy who guineinly into me, we he turned out not to be. I had to still be around him now and then and it took like half a year to really move on.. the second one was worse because we lived at the same dorm, and I suffered a lot living there. Felt physically ill every time I was going home.. got a lot better after I finally moved out.
My last heartbreak was the worst because the relation was more serious and he was a part of my daily life. The first couple of months I cried every day. Could not even hold it back in public places. I was ready to date again after like a year. At that time it was also nice when I could not think back on, where I was with him a year from then. When it was more than a year since I saw him I stopped thinking much of him.

Tiptoetamm · Answer

It depends how long I've been with the person, if I've been with him short time I get over it quickly. If I've been with someone years it takes a lot longer to get over. I left my ex past year after 11 years together and I still feel pain thinking about it. So yeah it depends

Vesuvius87 · Answer

I was already furious when my ex boyfriend not only never wanted to marry me but also scammed me with money. The break-up was actually followed by a celebration with a glass of wine. My parents and grandma were happy I've gotten rid of a legitimate sociopath.
What's there to miss if everything was a lie? NOTHING.

megabamse · Answer

It can last all from a week to a year. We all deal with it in our own way. But the point is to get out of it. Not to hide away. So do your hobbies, focus on work, workout, friends and what not. Do be scared of crying, don't be scared of other people's happiness, don't be scared of talking about how you feel. It can take time, but it's up to you how to feel.

Blacklight137 · Answer

Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't. It depends on how close you used to be or how much have you loved them. It's going to be almost an year soon since our final fight and separation and I miss her more than ever. She wasn't bad or evil. She just didn't love me like I loved her. Spend time on yourself and make new friends. Go out and have fun. Do any activities but don't think about them. Those memories will mostly be painful but will also make teach you some things.

qwert1234 · Answer

It took me like a year and a half to fully get over one ex.
Last one, we broke up several months ago, and I still remember her daily. Not the entire day, I tend to remember her when I am alone and/or bored - which tends to make me dwell how lonely I am..
Good thing is, it does not interfere with my day-to-day activities that requires focus, like work and chores.

Divinegirl · Answer

I think science says that emotional pain shows similar to physical pain in the brain. So if we can heal from physical pain then I think we can heal from emotional. However, if you still remain in contact and are constantly reminded of that person then it would take longer to heal.

ryanrhino · Answer

It depends on the reason for the heartbreak, but it may not be easier to deal with after your first one, as you would have some memories of it (hopefully distant). Knowing that there even if you say the significant other was one in a million, then know that there are many then still with those odds you would meet and fall in love with eventually.

The search for love is worth it, especially if you feel it is worth caring for eternity.

Cathy7734 · Answer

I have a friend that breeds dogs and trains them. He becomes emotionally attached to these dogs and when he sells one it breaks his heart. I asked him how does he overcome all these heartbreaks?

He said he quickly gets another dog and starts training the dog. He develop new bonds and that helps to overcome any previous heartbreaks.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Greatly depends why the breakup happened.

some will leave a bitter taste maybe due to the other cheating.

some will leave you confused as you do not really know why you split up.

some will rip your heart out and almost kill you.

Some will be fine, amicable split, still friends.

Some will send you spiralling downwards in to a fucking dark place where your heart is raw and split apart.

how long recovery takes really varies.

Onethatgotaway · Answer

It sucks to say this but there’s no instant way out of a heartbreak. I’m suffering one right now and it’s been a week. Every day I wake up and cry about it. So many things are triggering memories and it just makes me want to run and leave my body away from these feelings lol

Our relationship wasn’t long at all but the circumstances broke me. I think I’ll really get over it when I meet someone better for me bc I thought they were the one.

TLDR Maybe in a few months or half a year to get over it lol

mysfit · Answer

Yes, it does. For the first to three months, it’s the worst feeling in the world. Four to six months, you’re kind of getting used of the feeling and you started to open up and accept about what happened. Usually, for some people - it takes a year to get over the heartache. But everyone is different. Trust me, if this is your first time, you will get wiser and stronger the next time. But always remember that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!

But hang in there!

sage2021 · Answer

I don't believe there is a set period for how long it takes. It depends on who broke up with who. The that was left behind and didn't do the breaking up it last longer for them. Sometimes it takes years. You'll hear songs play that remind you of the other person, and realize your heart is still broken.

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

The first one can be a rough one. You try to give in everything but it still has a chance of failure.
But this break up also does one nice thing. Gives you mental barriers that can be used in safeguarding your brain from such events. Its cool after the first one in short.

Lucy68 · Answer

Eventually yes, the saying time heals wounds can be truth. That's just it, it takes time for recovering and within that time everything gets better trust me. Now after the first one results may vary cause sometimes the second heartbreak can be just as devastating, so results may vary. But as I said everyone is different and it takes time for the heart to heal

Valso · Answer

My first female love - took me 13 years to get her over, during which time my feelings for her constantly shifted between love and hatred until one day they were all gone and I was... numb, for the lack of a better word. "I feel so good, I feel so numb, yeah"
My first male love - I don't think I really got him over, altough nowadays it doesn't hurt as much as it did when we had to break up.
It does get easier over time, though probably not as much as I'd like.

Anonymous · Answer

Never been heartbroken before but I can imagine the pain and that is kind of what is stopping me from even trying at a relationship at the moment. I've had seriously long crushes before that have lasted like 2 years and when my crush doesn't show the same feelings I have felt devastated so I kind of know the feeling already. How long does that kind of heartbreak last for... a month at the most. It does get easier to deal with given you don't see them again.

Daniela1982 · Answer

It varies with every person and every different relationship. You have to take it as it comes and mostly play it by ear.

PaganWarrior · Answer

Yeah, it's gets easier. I broke up with my ex after ten years and we are friends still. It wasn't working and just, yeah.. We both agreed it was best to call it quits. It should have happened sooner but... We did love each other once. A lot. Grew apart.

slimshady59 · Answer

No I hate to tell you but it really doesn't not if you are a caring person. and what hurts most is when you find out you give yourself sexually to someone that was playing you and using you. Always check them out first. and put sex on hold until you find out for sure.

Blueeyes81 · Answer

For me it last years and time does dissipate the pain.

notwoke · Answer

Yes, it gets easier as you get older. You can be happy with many aspects of your life while being emotionally abused by your partner/ It still hurts but is not to level it did when I was 23 because you know it is not forever, just like the previous times. your situation will change and you will be back on top and look back on this with little emotion.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes. Once you have your first real heartbreak
It could take weeks months or maybe a year to completely move on it all depends on how deep your relationship was. After that first heartbreak experience you can kind of manage other heartbreaks. After my first heartbreak it took me about a year to get over it because of certain things that happened, after that I learned to have a stronger heart so whenever things wouldn’t work out with a guy I would just forget about it in 2 days.

Gingerguy33 · Answer

It gets better with time just keep yourself busy and work on yourself it’ll help you a lot

cth96190 · Answer

My answer is that it can last a lifetime.
My first girlfriend broke my heart viciously in 1978. It still hurts.
My second girlfriend murdered our baby through abortion in 1980. That also broke my heart. I think of our baby every day.

England4eva · Answer

Heart break hurts. Love is intoxicating, shaking the feeling is damn right near impossible. Just gotta go through the process, no way to take a short cut.

Selena1987 · Answer

I’ve learned not to count and rely on somebody else I don’t expect others to treat me fair and also I don’t do much for them. So, finally never I feel frustrated

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

Yes, it gets easier every time, but it makes loving someone the same way harder, but you'll realize that it actually opens the door for you to have a really healthy relationship with someone.

Anonymous · Answer

As long as it takes to focus on something else. You never forget just become desensitized. Learn to protect yourself and be less vulnerable with experience.

It gets easier after the first because you never put yourself out there the same way again. That’s what’s so special about a first love, you’ll never hit the same highs and lows again. Emotion changes with age and experience. You’re forever changed.

Heartache0405 · Answer

Experience enough heartbreak and you’ll realize that being alone is a blessing and not a curse.

DownIndaDumpz · Answer

ion even know what that is lol, i have no feelingz, i mean i get mentally sad if a girl rejects me, but as in actual emotional feeling i feel blank, i get over it in about 20 seconds lol

Anonymous · Answer

It gets easier when you get over faster.  Write down all the negative stuff about Him/ Her. And look at that list every day if you have to

Anonymous · Answer

It kinda gets easier with time, but i always remember them and if she was really special i'll get really sad thinking about her and our time together and what could've been if we didn't separate...

I don't think heartbreaks get easier for the 2nd time, 3rd, etc..

luvstoned4him · Answer

I think it depends on the person. Could a few months to a year and depending on how close you were to that person.

Bluemax · Answer

Heartache varies from person to person. I've known it to exist for years in some people, whereas others it lasts for only days.

Iron_Man · Answer

Took about three years to get over 7 1/2 years Relationship

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

The first was absolutely horrible. I could not eat or sleep. My mind was completely on her. Now I've been through a lot before and after, but that was the worst pain I've ever felt. I truly became a man.

LivingExample · Answer

How long people suffer depends on the person. I can’t say it gets easier, but learning from the heartbreak helps get through the heartbreak. Learning from the heartbreak also helps make better decisions in the future to avoid heartbreak!

PJH359 · Answer

Some heartbreak can last a lifetime. Breakups can mirror deaths and can be quite traumatic.

scott04sa22 · Answer

I’ve been heartbroken a lot so I give up on dating BS a while ago

driven159 · Answer

just get over it why would you want to waste any more time on it

In_Trance · Answer

yes it gets easier. Experience is a great teacher if you're willing to learn

zizouali090 · Answer

it doesn't get easier you just have to learn from the mistakes you did in the first relationship and try to avoid them in the next but just remember that its only a stage and that you'll get over it someday.

DaddyDiablo · Answer

I don't I just numb it or try to not think of it or whatever

BaldAvenger · Answer

No it doesn't get easier because when your in love and your heart gets broken, it hurts at LEAST the same every time. It does however, get worse.

Tobemum · Answer

I actually never have. I've only ever had 2 partners and I'm currently still with one of them. The first one ended on mutual terms because we just weren't right for each other.

genericname85 · Answer

no, it doesn't get easier. you just get used to the pain.

Ekiewlen · Answer

I still cry 10 years later when I think of my first love. But it’s a fondness not a pain anymore.

Zolly99999 · Answer

It really depends.. the first one was tough for me.. but it can get easier if you know how to deal with it..

theTank1994 · Answer

Once you realize there’s so many people out there and we are all going to die anyway, and even the hottest person alive could decay, you kind of realize it don’t mean nothing

spiralshape · Answer

Never had a relationship and never will have one because Hollywood is a scam

Luopio27 · Answer

Its just like rejection, or death of a loved one. Never gets any easier.

How long do you suffer from heartbreak? Does it get easier to deal with after the first one?

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