Girlfriend seems sketchy, won't post a picture together and status is single on FB, am I being paranoid?

[robstefan94]

So my girlfriend who I have been going out with for 8 months or so, a short while back we had a small argument as she called me a roomate to her friend then a roomate she was dating before calling me her boyfriend to her friends, it seemed like she was trying to hide me which was hurtful, we however got it sorted and she said she wasn't trying to hide me, just got her words wrong and that all her friends know.

Today we go out to a new town, took a ton of pictures and had an enjoyable day out. She has an instagram of which she has a few pictures of herself and a few with her best friend or so, she gets new adds daily from just random people off the internet who likes her photo's no biggy at all, when I made a comment about it being nice putting a picture of us up together as she had put a photo of just herself for the trip as she has one with friends but not me, she said she doesn't really use it, made a comment about boyfriend/girlfriend pictures being cringe and it being a red flag.

Fast forward to later and it changed into that she doesn't use instagram much or post, last post was months ago and it took 2 years to put up a picture of her and her friend and that she likes her private life/love life to be private and not in the world, so it got left there. If I add a photo, she doesn't want to be tagged in it as it will appear on her instagram.

Moving onto facebook, she has pictures of course of her family but a lot of old pictures and semi-recent pictures taken with friends and people tagging her in photos which she commented on only a month or two back, which is why I am like well why can't I tag you... she also has her status set as single still.

Updates

+1 y

She ended up saying its because the relationship is too new, she hasn't posted about previous bfs by looks of it till she has met with her parents, last one it looks like 7 months before she even posted a single picture, she did however change her relationship status to in a relationship after that. So I guess, wait a few months, meet the parents and see if she posts a picture/changes her status? And go from there?

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

You just need to talk to her about it. If you feel uneasy about her not posting photos or her not wanting to be tagged, talk to her about it, ask her why.


It’s reasonable to want to keep things private. I do too when it comes to social media such as instagram and facebook. It’s my private life that I don’t want even people I went to high school with to see.


Just because she doesn’t post you and has it set as single, doesn’t mean she’s hiding you or is cheating on you, etc. If you have that concern, let her know.

[robstefan94]

see that's the thing which concerns me... she says about wanting to keep private life private but her instagram reels from a few months back is open to all her followers, with random people following her which she has accepted, which has pictures of her family, where she lives in Ireland, has pictures of her best friend and pictures of other random friends she has taken and tagged them in

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

I would still talk to her about it. Let her know your concerns. Only she knows what and why she’s doing that.

[robstefan94]

when I bring it up she says it's because she wants her life private and hasn't posted in ages and it took ages to even post a picture with her friend, but in her reels I see other friends which I know she doesn't exactly see a lot so it seems like an excuse, if she doesn't want to speak about it or keeps coming up with weird excuses such as but it took ages to post a picture with a friend... or makes a fuss out of it and blames it on boyfriend/girlfriend pictures being cringe or something along those lines again... should I consider it a red flag?

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

I suppose it is a red flag…

[DaveJord]

All I can tell you is that social media is the devil in dating so if you put to much on it then you just being a creepy paranoid person.

But in all honestly when to people met and fall in love or its truly meant to be, then they make it as easy as possible for each other to be together. So if you feeling this level of anxiety over this then it might not be the relationship your looking for.

But 8 months in and you kind of seem to be freaking out about some real petty shit, might be making yourself unattractive to her if you can give her some space on this.

[HighValue]

She is a cheater. She didn't call you her boyfriend and doesn't want to be associated with you online. Obvious signs of a cheater.
If it was me I would have already left her. Either quit using social media altogether (if she actually valued her privacy that much) or be honest. She is dishonest.

[Flower_Power]

That is suspicious. You need to now, I'm assuming this really bothers you, right? If it does, set a boundary with her. Mention how you feel insecure about how everyone else can tag her except you. Tell her that you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who is embarrassed to be with you. Explain to her if she doesn't want you to tag her, post her, etc. that you guys don't need to be together.

You can surely find someone who isn't like this. It feels like she doesn't want anyone to know she is seeing someone. That's a huge red flag.

[robstefan94]

it really does, more so for the fact that it just all seems sketchy as she says about wanting to keep private life private but her instagram reels from a few months back is open to all her followers, with random people following her which she has accepted, which has pictures of her family, where she lives in Ireland, has pictures of her best friend and pictures of other random friends she has taken and tagged them in, I honestly don't see anything stopping her and when I bring it up she says it's because she wants her life private and hasn't posted in ages and it took ages to even post a picture with her friend, but in her reels I see other friends which I know she doesn't exactly see a lot so it seems like an excuse

[Screenwriter]

Definitely seems like she doesn't want anyone to know she has a boyfriend. I'd ask why she keeps her status as single. Perhaps she is very private, but this seems unusual. Does this affect her "fan" base?

You need to talk to her. Eight months is a long time. Have you changed your status on your media sites?

[robstefan94]

Yep of course, if I'm a relationship regardless of social media or not, I'll let people know or at least change my status so they know I'm off limits. That's the thing about the private part, she has reels which are publicly open on Instagram with friends she barely knows, best friends, family and home village all open for anyone to see, comment and message about

[Screenwriter]

I'm uncomfortable hearing this. Time for a long talk to find out where her head is at.

[CallmeTheKnight]

Sketchy isn't the word... Its confusing as heck and problematic. 8 months in and she's still single on Facebook and refuses to let her social media know she has a boyfriend? ... The relationship isn't as what you see it as. She's got something going on and she's not really your girlfriend. You can talk to her all you want, but if she keeps deflecting with excuses, just dump her.

[HappyGoLuckyGal12]

NO something is going on. Or maybe you guys just started dating and has had a bad experience with doing that stuff

[robstefan94]

Ahh.. no we dated for a while before we got together as girlfriend/boyfriend and its been a good while by now which is why I feel hidden and it seems like the defensiveness/not wanting to post online is strange, she blamed it on not wanting her private life to be seen but her instagram reels of her friends she hardly knows, best friends and family are all public...

[Avicenna]

That’s very concerning