I love a pure introvert girl and she thinks of me as a good friend, how can I show her my love and how do I explain?

[Anonymous]

I love her, I admire her, I have feelings for her. She doesn't but because of my relationship with her as her life changer, because I helped her to get out of her comfort zone, she likes me too. Thats all.

Also she is the most mature person I met in my life. We met 2 to 3 times only till now. And its been 7 years of our friendship!

I also once tried to propose her but she didn't get that because she thinks love as shit.

Okay I understand that, but I want to be in a relationship with her. Which she doesn't feel and I feel.

I just want to make it clear to her how much I like her, and I dont know how to make it understand with an introvert personality.

Can anybody help?
Please!
PS: I respect her decisions.

[HollyK21]

I feel like it’s one of 2 things. She’s either emotionally unavailable because of her past, and doesn’t want a relationship. Or she doesn’t want a relationship with you but doesn’t want to hurt your feelings or risk losing you, especially since you’ve helped her so much. In either case, it just doesn’t sound like she wants to be with anyone right now. You mentioned that you accept her decisions, yet while reading this what I noticed most is you trying to convince her of being with you, and that’s very opposite of accepting her choice. I think you should mentally remove the romantic aspect and focus solely on your friendship until she suggests something more. If she’s truly struggling with her past trauma, then she should consider professional help first before she can be a girlfriend to you or anyone. Maybe somewhere down the line, you’ll get what you want. I just don’t think it’s right now.

[Bluemax]

A female friend of mine had feelings for me which I could not return. Her solution was to very respectfully (and tearfully) end the friendship because continued contact with me was too painful. I respectfully wished her well. That might be a possible solution here.

[HollyK21]

@Bluemax I’m sorry, that had to be the hardest choice. But it sounds like cutting ties was the healthiest thing for you so that you could come to terms with her decision and move on. I hope you’re doing a lot better now🙏

[HollyK21]

Apologies, I misread this as the shoe being on the other foot lol, I understand her decision though, if it was easier in the long run. I hope she’s doing ok as well.

[Bluemax]

No worries. An honest mistake. When last I heard she got married.

[HollyK21]

That’s good news! At least she was able to find her person in the end🙂

[Bluemax]

Perhaps the asker can do the same.

[SnakeBoop]

Then take a hint. She's said no before. She doesn't want it.

[Bluemax]

Indeed. Though if she flat out said no, that could hardly be considered a hint. It doesn't get more explicit than that. 😉

[Guy13]

Please man-up and lead in the friendship aspects. Anyone who is going to waste 7 years Starbucking Thai tea or whatever you do there IS looking for Leadership. Obviously, you possess the traditional Servant which is the MOST DIFFICULT PART.
—For introverts and/or traditionalists especially, the Servant part is Leadership.
She doesn’t thrive upon you respecting her decision.
—I’m really surprised someone hasn’t come in there and grabbed her while you two maintain friendship.., and you have to watch how you should have done it

[Asker]

Yeah I live in India, culture is crystal here, which tells a girl to marry a guys she loves or if she doesn't, arrange marriage is another option. Where she will choose a guy or according to her astrological sign, a best match will be selected from a bunch of candidates.

[Guy13]

Gotcha. I have friends and clients from India who are both 45 and 57 of the arranged married categories. They are all fairly affluent and married within a shared economic/cultural standard. It seems to functionally work for them, although, one would have rather pursued the one she loved rather than chosen for her and agreed to love. I kinda like the idea of arranged married OR at least Parent Okayed arrangement

[Bluemax]

If you proposed to her, you have made it abundantly clear how you feel. Her refusal should make it clear to you that she doesn't feel the same way about you.

The choice is yours how to proceed. Do you believe you can remain her friend? Do you think that might be too painful?

[lrina]

she already said no. just give up.

[Asker]

Yeah, I will give it a last try and then leave it

[lrina]

don't embarass yourself further